https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 23:33:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908259 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 14:21:20 +0000 PurplePeony 908259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skibobrown: totally agree. My DH will even demand recognition when he does things like vacuum or wash dishes -- things I do All.The. Time. and he never notices. And I don't ahem and point and look all pleased with myself to make him notice. Part of the problem is that he was never made to lift a finger growing up and "doesn't know how" to do things. He's getting better, but I'm really not on board with the idea that men need praise for doing small household tasks...it's not like he's four years old anymore. Part of being a functioning adult and being in a relationship is pulling half the weight, IMO. I know you can't change a person immediately so I've gradually gotten more demanding about it over the years, but it's a slow process.</p> <p>Funny enough, he got called out by a friend at our BBQ last night for expecting me to serve him food -- he "didn't realize" that everyone was helping themselves. Our friend was like, "what, you expect your pregnant wife who is in the middle of eating her own dinner to get up and put a slice of cheese on a burger for you? Haha, f--- that!" He was pretty embarrassed, I was laughing kinda hard inside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908166 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:36:36 +0000 skibobrown 908166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of people think that husbands are being asked to do an unreasonable amount of housework if they even contribute a little bit. It's totally unfair that husbands get a huge pat on the back for washing a few dishes or watching the children for short amounts of time, while women are deemed lazy if they don't do the lion's share of those chores. </p> <p>People need to realize that gender roles have changed for the better, and lots of households split the cleaning and child-rearing tasks evenly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908117 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:15:18 +0000 regberadaisy 908117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: hahah I'm glad I wasn't drinking something bc I would have spit at my screen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908102 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:11:08 +0000 lovehoneybee 908102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Being told he's "babysitting" whenever he has E is one of DH's biggest pet peeves. The first few times it happened he snapped back that he was parenting....now he still says it, but in a resigned, "clearly everyone is dumb" sort of way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908095 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:08:40 +0000 Arden 908095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Same friend asked DH if he was "babysitting" once when DH was holding LO (I was there, just in another room) and DH said "Nope, just parenting. I know, not something you are really familiar with... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908090 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:05:45 +0000 regberadaisy 908090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: @Arden: chauvinist pig, much? Why would he even brag about that? His poor wife! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-908083 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:03:36 +0000 Arden 908083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: Yup, a family friend said that to DH and DH said "Wow, I wouldn't tell people that." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907662 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:14:05 +0000 JerricaBenton 907662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: Exactly - one guy in his family 'brags' that he had 6 kids and never changed a single diaper. My husband just goes, 'That's not cool.' and walked away, hahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907656 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:12:39 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 907656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man some of these are outrageous!</p> <p>One time after a few drinks I said something like "It sucks that DH and I both aren't the best at cooking or cleaning!" and MIL said ".. and you don't care either... WOOPS that's the wine talking!"</p> <p>LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907654 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:12:16 +0000 regberadaisy 907654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: haha or maybe bc he's the dad.....and we don't live in the 50s? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907653 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:11:36 +0000 JerricaBenton 907653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uggh that would PISS me off! My in-laws love to act like it's so crazy that my husband changes diapers and helps with LO. Luckily my husband gets angry and says he's not doing it to 'help,' he's doing it because he wants to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907648 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:08:51 +0000 ShootingStar 907648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: OMG I would've kicked him out of my house and told him he wasn't welcome back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907636 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 10:07:03 +0000 .twist. 907636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow! I would have been annoyed too! Glad your DH set her straight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907603 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 09:57:51 +0000 Anagram 907603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've heard my own mom saying that.... About someone else's marriage . My mom is all about equal parenting and my dad did just as much stuff around the house as my mom when I was growing up.... But if she sees something ONE time, she thinks its like that all the time and she'll basically never change her mind. </p> <p>Like yes, the one weekend we were with this family, the dad seemed to be doing all the child are, diaper changing, baths, cleaning up, etc. but hello, the wife was hanging out with us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907492 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 09:12:03 +0000 swurlygurl 907492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uh, rude much? Major props to your DH for standing up for you!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907412 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 08:27:20 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 907412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not to that extent, but I think my MIL assumes I do everything. When we have his parents over for dinner, I try to make sure the house is really clean. My husband doesn't care as much, but I know if she sees something dirty it will be *my* fault and not *our* fault. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907354 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 07:53:26 +0000 Ra 907354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not with cooking and cleaning but my MIL has made several comments about me being a gold digger and how DH needs to make me contribute financially. I am in the midst of a career change and went back to college. When she started making the comments, I was in my third trimester and student teaching full time. Not to mention, our finances are none of her damn business! I cannot stomach that woman! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907351 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 07:51:27 +0000 ladybee 907351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: honestly, I think my husband thinks he does all the cooking and the cleaning lol. During the school year I'd say it's 50/50 but this summer he has stopped doing EVERYTHING. I mean he doesn't put his only dirty dish in the washer, he doesn't put his dirty clothes in the hamper, he doesn't throw away his trash. I'm about to FLIP because my nesting is out of control. But when you bring it up he gets all offended like he really thinks hes doing something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907342 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 07:45:50 +0000 edelweiss 907342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>good for DH on setting her straight. maybe she was so surprised by seeing him do any cooking and cleaning, that to her any effort means actually doing everything? i don't know. i would hit the damn roof.</p> <p>@sloaneandpuffy: wow. hahaha wow. what else can i say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907336 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 07:41:47 +0000 mamimami 907336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No BUT we totally have people like that in my husband's family. One of my husband's aunts was at her son and DIL's house for lunch and the DIL told the husband he could start washing the dishes after, and she FLIPPED. OUT. and they got in a fight and this woman actually started crying to hear that her son was washing dishes. It's awful but I kind of love that story because it's just SO crazy to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907335 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 07:40:53 +0000 Boheme 907335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. My MIL and FIL came over to help clean our house when LO was only 5 days old - and it was because they invited people over! FIL made comments the entire time about how I was milking my labor and delivery to get out of cleaning, and that I needed to get off my butt and vacuum at the very least. Umm, I had a 32 hour labor, a broken tailbone, and a third degree tear. Just.... No. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/he-does-all-the-cooking-and-cleaning-like-you#post-907325 Fri, 05 Jul 2013 07:36:19 +0000 regberadaisy 907325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A relative that was over at our house yesterday for a 4th cookout said that to DH yesterday. </p> <p>DH had asked her how her nephew was doing. She responded "he's good but he's like you, he does all the cooking and cleaning" . To my husband's credit he immediately responded, "uh, we're 50/50. regberadaisy does a lot of the cooking and cleaning".</p> <p>Mind you, this was while I was inside doing food prep!!! I was so offended when DH told me this because I pride myself on being raised to know how to cook and clean!</p> <p>I'm left wondering where she got this impression from bc we only see her a few times out of the year. And the worst part is we had not planned on inviting her yesterday. But MIL asked if it was alright she invite her bc the relative was "all alone" yesterday for the 4th. Talk about a good deed gone bad!</p> <p>Has anyone else ever made a comment about your (not true!) lack of contribution to household duties? </p>