https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:07:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919517 Mon, 12 Oct 2020 21:24:03 +0000 LemonJack 2919517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: Ha! I hope it’s just the age too. There’s more to it than I listed, but I didn’t want a long novel. There has been a major uptick in behavior which is my concern. She’s not out of control, but she definitely pushes boundaries more than many of her peers, and always has. I’m hoping it’s just a combo of her age and the ridiculousness that is 2020. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919516 Mon, 12 Oct 2020 20:56:47 +0000 wrkbrk 2919516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well this sounds like my son everyday and I don’t think he’s particularly defiant. I think it’s just the age! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919514 Mon, 12 Oct 2020 20:09:40 +0000 LemonJack 2919514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone. It really helps to know we aren’t alone. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919510 Mon, 12 Oct 2020 17:14:43 +0000 Littlebit7 2919510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>just chiming in to say you aren't alone. My almost 5 yo could be moonlighting as your child, I'm not sure. I could have written this.<br /> She is back in school which is great in the sense that I don't have to break up fights with her little brother every 15 min, however the overststimulation and fatigue at the end of the week makes the weekends practically unbearable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919502 Mon, 12 Oct 2020 06:16:42 +0000 caitcat 2919502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My almost six year old is a lot like this, and it's been so much harder through these months of not getting out of the house regularly. I've felt lately like a lot of the hard-won progress we made pre-covid with behavior in public, expectations about following directions when it's time to transition or go, etc. have been backsliding with our very limited outings now. It's like she's out of practice when we get out of the house. In fairness, my husband and I are out of practice, too...and I feel like the stakes are higher whenever we take her somewhere now, so I'm sure she also feeds off of that. </p> <p>We had a disaster of a trip to a local farm to pick a pumpkin last week and ended up leaving very early without pumpkins because behavior issues. We got home, calmed down, talked it through, and ended up having a "do over" trip later in the week. She helped make a list of "dos" and "don'ts" for the outing ahead of time and was super clear on expectations. Along the way, we really talked up the positive behavior we saw, the ways it was different than our first outing, the good choices she was making, etc. At one point, she started to lose it a bit, but actually caught herself in the moment and was able to adjust. It felt like more mental energy than I've put into an outing in a long time...but I think it helped her to frame the trip a little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919501 Sun, 11 Oct 2020 22:25:14 +0000 Nutella 2919501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: literally just taking five from having to nearly pull out all my hair with my 6yo: not listening, whining and borderline facetious and starting crap with his younger brother. Sooooo kills me! We’ve returned to school here so I think I’ll hazard a guess that it’s an age thing...painful to the core. I get so frustrated and mad I just hate that the only reaction from me that gets a reaction from me is anger and shouting. He also does this thing where if he asks for something and doesn’t like the answer we give him, he’ll annoy his brother to get a reaction from us. Charming hey! Praying it’s a stage as it’s awful and killing my peaceful parenting spirit :bummed: :bummed: :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919500 Sun, 11 Oct 2020 21:56:22 +0000 ChitownRo 2919500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last year we started a point system for my son. (He is turning 7 in November). It’s been super effective. Each day he starts at 0. He gets 1 point for listening the first time we say something, eating veggies, points for cleaning toys/putting away laundry, 1 for each zoom class. We take away points for talking back, being sour, and of course being mean to his siblings. He needs 5 points for small dessert and 10 points for big dessert and staying up late to play a board game w DH and I.<br /> Before the point system, I felt like I was constantly taking away dessert or other privileges when he didn’t listen.<br /> Bonus - helps build mental math skills ;)<br /> Just what worked for us 🤷🏻‍♀️<br /> Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919499 Sun, 11 Oct 2020 21:36:01 +0000 Miss Ariel 2919499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No suggestions, but right there with you. </p> <p>Dh found a sad note today that dd (almost 6) had tried to hide in the car. I was trying to tell her we were more upset about hiding the note than the reason for it (being loud at naptime), and to prove a point tried to reiterate. She stopped me to say, “ You said that already.” Yeah... neither dh or I could keep a straight face. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-defiant-6-year-old#post-2919498 Sun, 11 Oct 2020 20:25:21 +0000 LemonJack 2919498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest has been a bit more challenging since birth. She has a very strong personality and is incredibly stubborn. Despite the fact that we aren’t pushovers, and are pretty firm, she pushes all boundaries and has a way of making me feel like a complete rookie at this parenting thing. She’s six now, and the last few months her behavior has been really exhausting. She’s much more defiant and combative, and I feel like I’m turning into a more reactive and angry parent as a result, which I definitely don’t want. It’s a cycle.</p> <p>We allowed her to play at a friend’s house last week, which was a big deal since we’ve been so careful due to Covid. When she was told it was time to pick up, she just looked at my friend’s husband and calmly told him, “No”. </p> <p>I’ve told her she won’t be going back over there anytime soon and it’s because of that. She was warned ahead of time that she had to be a listener.</p> <p>At home, a lot of what happens is minor stuff; needing to be asked multiple times to do things, etc. But she digs her heels in and is so defiant that it’s difficult to know what to do. I’m sure part of this is that she’s home right now full time, which isn’t easy. </p> <p>I’m feeling a little defeated at the moment. Any suggestions? I worry that not breaking this cycle will just cause more issues, and I also worry about its affect on her relationship with her sister. Our younger daughter is the complete opposite personality wise, and although I am careful not to compare them, it’s clear she picks up on differences in how we react to them and things they do. </p>