https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 04:41:59 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2764648 Wed, 02 Aug 2017 20:21:55 +0000 maddyz 2764648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Solo dinner and bedtime with two feels like one of the hardest things I do ever and I do it often. But it's also only slightly easier with both of us. Now that they can bath together it helps so much! 5:30-8:30 is non stop kid management and dinner making (it's still not cleaned up and it's 9:30 and I am checking hb). Lo1 had become a much better solo player over the months and that has helped so much but now lo2 gets into his stuff and he hates it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2764448 Wed, 02 Aug 2017 12:53:13 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2764448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: that looks awesome!! Glad things have gotten better. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2764445 Wed, 02 Aug 2017 12:51:49 +0000 SweetiePie 2764445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much for updating! And so happy it's a happy update! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2764439 Wed, 02 Aug 2017 12:45:52 +0000 gilmoregirl 2764439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: it totally helps! And having two, I do have a better understanding of how quickly things change with babies. But of course it gets hard day to day and it's easy to forget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2764364 Wed, 02 Aug 2017 10:55:24 +0000 JLC53 2764364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for sharing this! The logistics of having a second is terrifying me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2763774 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:44:17 +0000 Ajsmommy 2763774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gilmoregirl: I tell myself daily, this is just a phase... LOL. but honestly it does help to think of it like that (for me anyway)<br /> @josina: thanks... I'm thinking we need to do another update in our group :)<br /> @winter_wonder: me too! that's kind of why I did it. also I wanted anyone else struggling like I was to know it does get better just like the other posters said it would. We just had to reevaluate things and make some changes. We'll get through this and then have to do it all again once bedtimes/etc change. oy.<br /> @2PeasinaPod: I hear ya!! I feel so bad sometimes for being short w DD bc I have to do something w DS. And I agree, they are soooo freakin adorable when they sleep.... I seriously rock DS for some extra minutes every night bc I'm just staring at him and bc he's my last baby :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2763767 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:31:47 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2763767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So fun! It does get easier as they get older. You'll still have some bad days, but they pass and you go on with your life. Just the other day, LO2 had a fever, wasn't sleeping, and it seemed like LO1 needed our attention for every little thing. I felt like I was being pulled in every direction and needed a 5 minute break of no one touching me. Then of course, when they were in bed, I felt guilty for feeling that way, because they're so frickin cute when they sleep. We all have those days, mama! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2763757 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:06:31 +0000 winter_wonder 2763757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yay! I love when people post updates :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2763746 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 08:36:06 +0000 josina 2763746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: That is so cute! Glad things are better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling/page/2#post-2763737 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 07:53:01 +0000 gilmoregirl 2763737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: this looks amazing! I'm so glad things have gotten better. T has more of a witching hour now than he did as a newborn but I think it's just that dinner and bedtime are too late for him. Not much to be done about it so we power through...this too shall pass. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2763733 Tue, 01 Aug 2017 07:26:27 +0000 Ajsmommy 2763733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted to revisit this post... bc 2 months have passed. </p> <p>Things have gotten easier. DS is happier now, he can occupy himself more so that is a huge help. We also pre cook a lot of dinners that we didn't do before. This is also a huge help. And even better is that I talked DH into building a play area for DD out back so now she gets outside time right at home! It's working out so well!!! </p> [attach=4974/17/ou0ak3.320x240.IMG_5361.JPG] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738989 Tue, 23 May 2017 10:41:08 +0000 gingerbebe 2738989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: One random thing that helped us was to get a Bluetooth speaker and blast a playlist of DS1's favorite songs and loudly sing along along with him and that seems to make him feel like we're participating in his play when we have to get stuff done. I'll be cooking or washing and occasionally pop my head over and dance and do something silly and he loves it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738978 Tue, 23 May 2017 10:27:27 +0000 oskarsmommy 2738978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not at work yet, but I get it. It's hard to say no, I can't come play with you. I think in hindsight maybe I was on the floor too much with my first. Like I started something I cannot possibly maintain. </p> <p>I'm gonna put my head back in the warm sand until I go back to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738943 Tue, 23 May 2017 09:28:49 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2738943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: It is also very ok to say, "mommy can't come outside right now. As soon as I'm finished unloading the dishwasher, I'll come out to see your soup. Keep working on it!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738875 Tue, 23 May 2017 06:36:05 +0000 Ajsmommy 2738875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oskarsmommy: ooomph it sux!! I am just lowering my expectations and I'm going to be happy if we all get fed and go to bed at some point! HA. Even last night, which went fairly smoothly bc DS was happy was a mess. I was in the kitchen putting away dishes and washing DS's bottles while DD was outside playing (as shown) well she kept wanting me to go out and be with her while she made her "soup". It's hard not to be able to do everything but it's ok... I just have to get used to it. I'm only 3 weeks in so I am just hoping it gets better and I can get into the swing of things. </p> <p>it would also help tremendously if DS would suddenly become a better sleeper! (insert praying hands)<br /> @rnmcdonnell: DH's job is flexible but if he's home he is usually still working. For example last night he was home but he worked until 10 pm. He took a few mins to grill out our pork chops but then he went right back to work. Not much help in the kid/bedtime/bath routine. However, when he's home for DS bedtime. even if he is working, it does allow me to leave DD downstairs bc his work space is down there and he can sort of "watch" her and by watch I mean be there in case she needs or asks for something. But if he's not home I don't like to leave her alone on a different floor so I have to bring her upstairs and get her set up in our room or her room or in DS's room as I nurse and rock him to sleep. </p> <p>I think the hardest part for me is the dinner. So I am just going to do like you all have suggested and make it easier. Leftovers/eggs/sandwiches/soup/snack type stuff. I think that'll be a big help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738858 Mon, 22 May 2017 23:13:47 +0000 oskarsmommy 2738858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This terrifies me! I am still in maternity, I work until 4:45, will have to pick up my son so I am home at 5:15, and my husband works until 7:30-8, and my son is high energy and being suuuuuper defiant lately. I am terrified for when I return to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738849 Mon, 22 May 2017 21:54:30 +0000 rnmcdonnell 2738849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Similar situation and I was very overwhelmed when I first went back. Bc of our jobs and the way responsibilities and shook out, I ended up with a lot of solo parenting of 2 which burnt me out early on. My husband ended up shifting things so that 2x/week he'd come home earlier to help with bath/bedtime, and then work later or go in earlier on other days. Not sure if your husband would have flexibility but that helped a ton.</p> <p>Besides that, it was a lot of lowering expectations. No more baths on weeknights he wasn't home. Shortcuts with food like @charm54 said - super quick stuff (sandwiches, frozen veggies, soup, eggs), or leftovers.</p> <p>If I'm being honest, there might be times that are harder than this - when my youngest started solids, meals became hard to make it toddler AND baby friendly AND not end in a mess every night and I wished I could go back to milk :) BUT over time, more and more gets easier, your daughter will get more independent, and their needs will start converging. At 4 and 2, I'm still a bit frazzled when we walk in the door and I have to rush everything on the table and the 2 year old is crying, whiny, and hungry...but it's SO much easier now than it was at the very beginning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738774 Mon, 22 May 2017 18:42:52 +0000 gingerbebe 2738774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: woo hoo! Also, I was wondering - can you pick your kids up later? Like can you leave an extra bottle for your baby and cook dinner as soon as you get home and then go get the kids at 5? That way if your DD wants to play you can do that straight from daycare and then come home to dinner already made. Just a thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738772 Mon, 22 May 2017 18:40:34 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2738772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: yeah I wasn't saying let him cry while eating dinner.. just, if he's crying, you don't have to feel guilty if it takes a little bit to get to him or you're finishing dealing with your older child first. It'll all turn out ok. :happy: </p> <p>It wasn't my experience but I think I also read somewhere that boys tend to overall cry more as infants. So it probably will just get easier from here! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738718 Mon, 22 May 2017 16:02:32 +0000 Ajsmommy 2738718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Outside time success at home tonight. She asked for playground but I diverted her </p> [attach=4974/17/oqdh49.600x450.IMG_3320.JPG] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738682 Mon, 22 May 2017 15:18:49 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2738682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there, mama! My SIL used to tell me that going from 0 to 1 was hard, but going from 1 to 2 was way harder, and she wasn't prepared. I agree with her wholeheartedly! </p> <p>You just went back to work, so cut yourself a bit of slack. You're also doing most of this alone. My DH was the one who picked up the boys from day care (and still does) and I'm the one who doesn't get home until 6:30 on the days I work in the city. It's hard, for sure, but once LO2 turned a year old, it's gotten a little easier. </p> <p>You'll settle into a routine eventually, so give it some time. You'll be exhausted most nights, and hopefully DH can help even a tiny bit by helping you to prepare for the next day. Even making lunches for the next day helps exponentially! </p> <p>Lots of hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738630 Mon, 22 May 2017 14:00:33 +0000 ShootingStar 2738630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I can understand enjoying the outside time. We play a lot in our yard when the weather's nice because we don't have any parks we can just walk to. Though dinner's usually the main priority, not playing.</p> <p>You could have her play in the back yard and grill dinner (assuming you have a grill?). We do that a lot with DS. Of course the sides have to be really easy or pre-made. But burgers, hot dogs, marinated chicken, sausage, mushrooms, are all easy to make on the grill. And while stuff cooks you could feed DS or wear him while you play with DD.</p> <p>Do you have any outdoor toys DD can use? There's lots of cheap things you could get too - a mini slide, fold up tunnels, sidewalk chalk, mini golf set, over size beach ball, water table, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738608 Mon, 22 May 2017 13:37:14 +0000 gingerbebe 2738608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Get your husband on board and tell him to bring home dinner or have something delivered on one of the designated park nights! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738605 Mon, 22 May 2017 13:32:42 +0000 Ajsmommy 2738605@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: no worries, didn't think you were short at all :) sorry if you thought I was :silly: and I like that idea of setting specific playground days, I might try to do that!<br /> @megjay18: oh yes!! I can not wait for the days when they can play together alone.. ahhhhhhh it will be blissful<br /> @juli7: thank you for your input. I think you hit the nail on the head with everything. DH and I usually make "nicer" meals every night.. we just can't do that. DH is very very picky so he'll just have to be on his own for dinners while I get by with sandwiches and soup or frozen pizza with the kids. And I hate to wish time away but I am so looking forward to the time when DS can sit and occupy himself with a toy for 10-15 mins </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738590 Mon, 22 May 2017 13:15:46 +0000 juli7 2738590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there - it will get easier. I have a similar schedule and my kids are 3 and 1 now. I didn't have time to read all the responses, but what has helped me is going really easy with dinners - frozen pizza, sandwiches, jarred sauce and pasta, frozen veggies, etc. In a perfect world I'd prep and freeze healthy dinners on the weekends, but it just doesn't happen. We've accumulated a lot of outdoor toys, so I try to alternate going to the playground with staying home and playing outside. And finally, when I went back to work, we started letting my 3 year old watch a TV show at 5:30 so she stays occupied while I get dinner on the table. </p> <p>It got easier as my youngest got older - when his 7 pm bedtime became more consistent, when he could sit up and play with toys on his own, when he could sit in his high chair and eat cheerios when I prepped dinner. But there are still nights where he just sits on the floor crying while I scramble to get food on the table :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738580 Mon, 22 May 2017 13:05:24 +0000 megjay18 2738580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: omg, please don't feel like a failure! having two kids is hard, but like others have said, it definitely gets easier with time (or just different issues, lol). take things hour by hour, day by day and just get to the point where they can kind of play with / entertain each other. mine are 2 and 4.5 and let me tell you - it is GLORIOUS to let them play together and not have to be overly involved in what they're doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738571 Mon, 22 May 2017 12:57:45 +0000 gingerbebe 2738571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Sorry, I didn't mean to sound short or anything, I swear. What might work then is if you have scheduled park days. I think your daughter is old enough where you can say "if the weather is okay, we can go to the park Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, okay?" And then if she asks on a non-park day, you can say "sorry its not a park day" or whatever. That way, you can drive straight to the park on those designated days and plan ahead for those nights by having an easy snack-y dinner ready to pull out once you get home. If you do that, you can have a nice run around at the park, have dinner at 530pm and then get everyone ready for bed. The only X-factor is nursing your son and whether you feel comfortable nursing in public or giving him a bottle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738560 Mon, 22 May 2017 12:47:59 +0000 Ajsmommy 2738560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: I plan to "work" with my time. When it was just DD, sometimes we would go straight to the playground after daycare, cutting out the walking to and from. I will do this more often. However, sometimes I try to avoid the playground all together so if she doesnt' mention it on our 3 min commute I go home. Then once home she'll ask... that's when we usually walk to it. I might start planning to preempt her and offer the play ground on days that are nice and when I'm feeling up to going straight there.</p> <p>as far as eating there... I just don't think she'd do it. When she's at the playground its all about play for her. I sometimes take snacks/drink but even then she only eats/drinks when we are done and on the way home. </p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: oh I let him cry way longer than I'd ever imagine letting DD cry. It's hard but he's also much more of a crier so I feel like its inevitable that he's gonna have to cry once in a while. I just can't sit there eating my dinner though with him crying. It's just not pleasant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738539 Mon, 22 May 2017 12:17:34 +0000 Anagram 2738539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: eating at the park is a good idea. I see parents doing that all the time in my neighborhood, but I never think to bring out dinner out with us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-how-do-you-manage-2-kidsim-struggling#post-2738538 Mon, 22 May 2017 12:17:02 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2738538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: second that. My second kid didn't get tended to as quickly. He just had to wait sometimes! And we are totally bonded and he's fine! I forgot about mentioning that. </p>