https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 08 Jun 2026 01:18:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1999666 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 11:08:18 +0000 AmandaB8 1999666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hang in there. I agree with survival mode, but you can still try new things!</p> <p>Have you tried having daddy put him to bed, with you not being in the room? DD HATES going to sleep for me, even at 11 months. IDK what I do wrong... lol! </p> <p>Also, you say you rock him to sleep - do you ever just put him in bed awake? Let him get comfortable with his surroundings? </p> <p>Maybe watch over MIL's shoulder as she gets him to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1999453 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 07:23:35 +0000 looch 1999453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a big believer in beginning as you mean to go on, so I didn't do any car naps or use a swing...but you know what, my son inherited my husband's poor sleep patterns and at 4 years old, I can still count on one hand the number of nights he has slept through.</p> <p>Just hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1999434 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 05:50:27 +0000 miramira 1999434@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with Littlejoy: what you're doing isn't "sinful", you're just attending to your baby! Your baby might find it easier to sleep on his own when someone else puts him down because he's not having to separate from the person he loves best (you!). Things that once helped my 12-week-old to sleep like rocking, swaddling &amp; white noise no longer work as well, so I'd say some babies develop in such a way that means certain techniques no longer cut it as far as getting to sleep is concerned. Don't worry, you're not going to end up with a 5-year-old who'll only sleep in a swing!!! As babies mature, so does their ability, and inclination, to sleep.</p> <p>I'm of the opinion that you can't spoil babies. They're driven by a sense of necessity rather thsn desire. And they aren't like owning a dog that you can condition to act in a way that suits you (rather than suiting them)... they're constantly evolving as people, so what worked yyesterday won't necessarily work today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1999314 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 22:53:18 +0000 BabyTsMom 1999314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meridian: Agree with PPs in that you have to do whatever it takes to get baby to sleep. It's ok! Unfortunately, he really is only 5 weeks old developmentally, so you may have a bit longer of this stage to endure.... my LO was a bit early as well and it was really hard in the beginning! The problem I had, though, was when exactly is it *not* ok to do whatever it takes?? For me, that was about when the "fourth trimester" was over. I started trying to create or teach good habits and crossed my fingers that they stuck. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1999299 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 22:39:10 +0000 snowjewelz 1999299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 3 week old and we are just surviving for now too - we cosleep, nurse to sleep, let her nap/sleep on us, etc! I'm hoping to start introducing better habits starting from maybe 4-6 weeks... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997494 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 20:40:24 +0000 mrs. wagon 1997494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I only skimmed the responses but I agree with most-- you're in survival mode, do whatever it takes to survive and whatever it takes to get him to sleep as much as possible. I'm a believer that you can't spoil them in the first 3 months, and after that, once they've gained enough weight to be able to skip a middle of the night feeding, you're clear to start sleep training and building good habits then. But until then they're Just. Too. Young. Some may disagree with me but that's how I feel! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997402 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 18:01:00 +0000 Mrs. Twine 1997402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my mind there's only what you do and what you don't do. No rules. I think you are doing wonderfully if everyone is able to get enough sleep and stay sane. That alone is a huge accomplishment in the early days! Nothing is ever set in stone, either, so if you decide to change how you are doing things later on, you can do that. You'll find the right path for your family. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997387 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 17:35:09 +0000 Zbug 1997387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just survive. I stressed abt my daughter nursing to sleep, but she stopped doing it (unless exhausted) on her own by 6 mo. I miss it bc bedtime was so much easier! She puts herself to sleep every night (I do stay next to her until she falls asleep but no rocking, etc), which is supposed to lead to better sleep according to "the rules." She still wakes up numerous times a night. I think sometimes you just need to roll with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997286 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 15:43:30 +0000 Mrs. Garland 1997286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first 3-4 months are total survival mode. I truly believe you literally cannot create bad habits that early - he's still learning how to live in the "real world"! We didn't even think about sleep training or making good habits until J was at least five months old and he's a total rock star sleeper now at 11 months! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997285 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 15:41:52 +0000 Mamasig 1997285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your baby is only 10 weeks old! Honestly, you shouldn't expect so much out of him. He's a baby! He wakes for you and not the night nanny or MIL because you are his MOTHER. It makes total sense he wants to be by you. He just spent 9 months next to you! I say do what works for now. But I'm not a big rule follower. I have 2 kids which I have treated the same - one is a good sleeper and one is not. You can do everything "right" and they might still be crappy sleepers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997273 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 15:18:57 +0000 gingerbebe 1997273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Once we got his reflux meds figured out and switched to EP-ing, we started nap training with 10 mins CIO at like 6 weeks. We didn't really have to CIO at night - once naps got settled he naturally started to be ready for bed in the evenings and would wake about every 3-4 hours to eat in MOTN. He's 14 weeks now and goes to bed at 730pm, has a dreamfeed at 10-ish and wakes up at 730am. He takes 3-4 naps a day. I've realized that our son actually has high sleep needs When in the beginning we thought he had low needs because he never slept but he was always crying and never ever happy. Now hes a happy baby as long as he has his rest and so we guard his sleep schedule really closely, which annoys relatives to no end but when they see what a banshee he turns into they quickly change their tune. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997272 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 15:16:54 +0000 Mama Bird 1997272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're not doing anything wrong! Most babies will react differently to their mom. I think they can smell the milk, so they're on to us the second we put them in bed and tiptoe off! I can't believe how little sleep you're getting though... hope it gets better soon!</p> <p>Not sure it will help for such a young baby, but someone suggested to me that putting a bottle of warm water into the crib to warm it up helps make it more comfortable, and the baby is less likely to notice they're not being held any more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997261 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 14:58:23 +0000 littlejoy 1997261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your baby is so, SO young still. Sleep training isn't advised before 12 weeks, and some would say 6 months. I know that's not what you're doing, but it's just hard to count on a baby to have a solid sleep schedule or routine before a certain age. </p> <p>You aren't doing any sleep sins, btw. You're just trying what you can to see what works for you. That's amazing!!</p> <p>For us, we held her for every nap (that's a freaking sin, haha), and rocked her down to sleep every night. We'd then transfer her to her bassinet after she was asleep. I wore her ALLLL the time from birth to 12 weeks. At that age, she just wanted to be held. </p> <p>We bottle fed, too, and around 12 weeks, it became our bedtime ritual (which we had to change once she was about 6 months). 12 weeks was the magic spot for sleep. It's all very relative, but I feel like if you just comfort and snuggle baby now, in a very short time, baby will start developing a bit more of a consistent schedule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997253 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 14:42:23 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1997253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not following any rules with our 5 month old. Usually he's a good sleeper -- 7pm-7am with one to two wakings a night, but the past couple of nights have been like every 2 hours :-/ He also sometimes does the thing where he wakes up as soon as his head hits the mattress -- I think he can tell he's not in mommy's warm embrace anymore.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997199 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:51:22 +0000 Meridian 1997199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: I tried to be a rule follower too... I thought that if I followed all the rules, that everything would be ok. Unfortunately not the case :(</p> <p>@Modern Daisy: Did that work for you? All the sleep books/websites say the opposite, and that "sleep begets sleep". I am not opposed to waking him up to eat on the rare occasion he sleeps a longer nap in the swing. </p> <p>@Espion: Not breastfeeding, exclusively pumping. Wow, your LO only ever took 1 nap a day, even when he was an infant? Amazing how different kids have different sleep needs!</p> <p>@gingerbebe: How old was he when you started sleep training?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997191 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:47:50 +0000 lemondrop 1997191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do what works to survive now and trust your mommy gut. Babyhood is rough. Put it in perspective- I don't know any 18 year olds that still sleep in their parents rooms. We are big "rule" breakers, but once he started walking, our first started sleeping awesome. I stressed and cried and got very worked up over his sleep, but the second time around I'm putting my sleep priorities first and worrying about independence later (same routine, just not worrying about it). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997168 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:12:13 +0000 gingerbebe 1997168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly we sleep trained our son super early because he literally didn't sleep more than 8 hours at most a day. He was screaming the rest of the time and chronically overtired and after spending days holding him in a recliner I couldn't handle it anymore. We did everything you did and had his reflux meds switched twice, tried supplementing with 4-5 different formulas, and I'm still on a super bland diet. We felt that since he was crying all the time anyway, CIO wasn't going to be all that different and perhaps he would get some more rest. After about a week, he started taking 1.5-2 hour naps during the day and started sleeping longer stretches at night and now he's pretty good unless he has a Wonder Week going on or something (leap 8 was 8 days of nonstop screaming hell). I will say that your theory about being relaxed really was true for us. The days I'm extremely tense and upset at him he will not sleep, but when I'm patient and loving and calm he is more apt to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997162 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:08:50 +0000 lady grey 1997162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meridian: Do what you need to do to survive this difficult newborn time. Then sleep train later. Thats what we did and ended up sleeping training( CIO) at 5 months. LO has slept great since then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997153 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 13:04:34 +0000 Espion 1997153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Meridian: Are you breastfeeding? I think that some babies just like to be really close to mama. E did basically all the same things, but he mellowed out little by little until we were able to start him out in the co-sleeper at night, and by 2 am, he'd end up in bed with us. And just after 6 months, we put him in his crib on a whim and he has been sleeping through the night since! </p> <p>I don't think we did anything magical or "right", I think it all depends on the kid and we got insanely lucky. And I thought he'd never sleep until that magic 6 month mark. And he's only ever taken one nap a day, which didn't start until he was 10 or 11 months old. Not perfect, but it works for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997142 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:51:57 +0000 gilmoregirl 1997142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I broke (and continue to break) most of the sleep "rules" and my 8.5 month old sleeps like crap some nights and awesome other nights. There's little rhyme or reason to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997119 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:33:08 +0000 Modern Daisy 1997119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our pediatrician told us to keep him awake as much as possible during the day, especially at that age. This way he has no choice but to sleep more at night. If he's sleeping better for other people maybe they are calmer and he senses this? We also were good about sensing when he was capable of doing a longer stretch and having mini CIO sessions to get him to drop a wakeup. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997111 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:27:21 +0000 meredithNYC 1997111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a crazy rule-follower, BUT I do think you're fine in the early days - like younger than 3 months? I think it's around then that habits start to form. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-im-committing-all-the-sleep-sins-will-it-be-ok#post-1997108 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:24:08 +0000 Meridian 1997108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 10 week old guy (5 weeks adjusted) just will not sleep for us! We've tried everything - multiple swaddles, white noise, elevating one end of the crib, adding an ounce of formula to his night time bottles. He used to be pretty gassy, so he's on probiotics and gas drops. For his first 3 weeks home, he used to at least give us one sleep cycle, about 45 mins to an hour. Now he will always start wailing 10 - 15 mins after we set him in the crib, sometimes sooner. We can't pat/shush him back to sleep, and he will continue to escalate if we don't pick </p> <p>So now we're committing all the sleep sins: holding him to sleep, rocking him into a deep sleep (he'll still wake up a few mins after being set down), letting him sleep in a swing, and bringing him into our bed when we're desperate. None of these guarantees us much sleep either. </p> <p>The crazy thing is that when the night nanny or my MIL come to do an overnight shift (they each come about one night a week), he sleeps JUST FINE FOR THEM. WTF!? Fine as in he will sleep in his crib for 2, 3, sometimes 4 hour stretches, and occasionally whine/whimper, but they don't have to hold/comfort him. What are we doing wrong? I've discussed night time procedure with the night nanny and she does the same thing we do. I'm less sure of what my MIL does, but according to her, she feeds him, holds him for a few mins, then puts him in his crib. Voila, apparently it works. His mom thinks we must be doing something wrong. </p> <p>What sleep "no-no's" did/do you do... and did it turn out OK? I'm so paranoid to create bad habits, but right now I feel like we have no other options :crying: </p>