https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 13 Jun 2026 06:37:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-cope-with-my-2yos-tantrums#post-2767173 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 17:23:52 +0000 gingerbebe 2767173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have used a kitchen timer with great success. We will say okay it's time for bath. He says no and starts having a fit. We say okay, 2 more minutes or whatever and make him say okay to acknowledge what you just said. Then set the timer and when it goes off you say okay, it's bath time and now transition. He will probably have fits anyway but over time it sinks in. </p> <p>We use these: </p> <p>Uigos 2 Pack Digital Kitchen Timer II 2.0 , Big Digits, Loud Alarm, Magnetic Backing, Stand, for Cooking Baking Sports Games Office (White) (2 Pack) <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01L8XF7AK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_d2IJzb06C995D" rel="nofollow">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01L8XF7AK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_d2IJzb06C995D</a></p> <p>They are loud and easy to use and we keep one in the living area and one in the bathroom (he stalls on the toilet or won't get out of bath). </p> <p>We keep a rigid routine. At almost 3 my son loves to repeat his schedule all the time. Like on our way home from school he says "Wash hands, eat dinner, play toys, takin a bath, brusha teeth, read books, and go nigh night, right mama?" He may fight the exact timing of the transitions but he knows what happens every night and gets with the program eventually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-cope-with-my-2yos-tantrums#post-2767138 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 15:21:52 +0000 maddyz 2767138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have found especially around meal times that if I can stay ahead of his hunger (but not let him constantly snack) it really helps. Like watching a little baby for sleep cues, at the first sign I stick something heathy in front of him and then get dinner on the table asap. It's hard to be ahead of the curve and there are days where I start out behind (the morning can be full of screaming) and just stay that way all day,</p> <p>The other thing that helps us a lot is reading books, when hes upset he will often come out of that place he's stuck in for a book. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-cope-with-my-2yos-tantrums#post-2767134 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 14:58:25 +0000 Woolly Mammoth 2767134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The thing that has always worked best to defuse my son's tantrums is to repeat what he wants, then acknowledge the feelings. I think it's called "emotion coaching."</p> <p>So if he wanted a pouch for dinner, I would say "You want a pouch for dinner. You don't want chicken. You're sad that you can't have a pouch. I get sad when I can't have what I want, too."</p> <p>If he kept yelling I would just continue to repeat "You want a pouch. You're sad." I would avoid repeating that he can't have a pouch, because in my experience, that ramps up the tantrum again. </p> <p>If it doesn't seem to be working, I try a different emotion, like "mad" or " disappointed." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-cope-with-my-2yos-tantrums#post-2767081 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 12:35:10 +0000 Mrs. Microscope 2767081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been thinking about you guys a lot, and when my friend (who has an almost 4 year old) said he was having a tantrum regression, I thought that her methods might help you! her son needs lots of planning to avoid transition meltdowns, and just talking about them wasn't enough, so she started using the system that is used at his preschool. She made magnets to go on the fridge with pictures (and the words underneath) of activities that might happen during the day. Things like "inside play time", "Clean up time" "outside play time" "ride in the car" "potty break" "lunch" "go on errands" "on on fun outing" etc. She lines them up the night before on the fridge for the next day, and the family talks about what tomorrow will look like, and all the transitions that will happen, and generally what to expect. Then, as they move through the day, her son can reference the picture chart, and know what is coming next. He still gets upset, but she says it seems to help, now that he has a VISUAL cue as well as just the verbal cue from her. And yes, it takes while to set up, and commitment to going over the schedule the night before, but she says it has helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-cope-with-my-2yos-tantrums#post-2767049 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 11:34:28 +0000 MrsADS 2767049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son will be two in 13 days and he is a very intense, strong-willed child. He was extremely colicky, bad reflux, and a challenging baby too, to say the least, so I guess I should not be surprised.</p> <p>His tantrums have been AWFUL the last 6 weeks or so, and seem like they are getting worse daily. He is very verbal and every day learns new words and puts new strings of words together, so I would definitely say he's going through a language explosion.</p> <p>The tantrums are LONG (not just a few minutes - often 10-20 minutes!) and he is just so intense. Constant hysterical screaming and basically nothing calms him down. Impossible to console. I don't give in if he's tantruming about something he wants (i.e. last night wanted a pouch instead of dinner). Often the tantrums are related to transitions (even though we give lots of advance notice, talk about what to expect, etc.). He has a REALLY hard time and has a tantrum nearly every time we have to come inside from being outside, go upstairs for bed, go into his room for bedtime, leave the park, etc.... and it is exhausting. It is to the point I don't want to take him anywhere. And he is very sensitive to being tired or hungry so at night time and mealtimes/snacktimes it is 1000% worse. </p> <p>I am trying to channel my inner Janet Lansbury, be very zen and nonchalant, but in reality I am totally miserable to spend all day with a screaming toddler. I often have to just physically wrestle a screaming, flailing 27 lb toddler to come inside, carry up the stairs, etc. and it's horrible. I guess it's normal but it sucks. I am jealous of my friends with easy kids. I dread days when I'm alone with him (which I hate to say!) because he is so difficult to manage.</p> <p>Please tell me I am not a terrible mother. And if you have any suggestions - either for dealing with the tantrum or to keep me from jumping out a window - I would love to hear it! I've heard that 3 is worse than 2 and I don't know how I can handle it. </p>