https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 08:55:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1311772 Wed, 01 Jan 2014 15:32:52 +0000 lilyofthewest 1311772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How about this article? <a href="http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/PressRelease/pressReleaseId-109364.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.wiley.com/WileyCDA/PressRelease/pressReleaseId-109364.html</a></p> <p>It is a meta-analysis of most prior research on physician care vs midwife care outcomes. With the conclusion that midwives have better outcomes and their clients are happier with the care that they receive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1311735 Wed, 01 Jan 2014 14:54:07 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1311735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Confetti: what's the "whole thing" that he's closed off to? The title of Midwife vs OB? My midwife (who was part of an OB practice &amp; delivered at a hospital) was a CNM, Certified Nurse Midwife. These women have training, experience, &amp; can offer many things an OB may not (more time, attention, natural-leaning practices). </p> <p>Since it doesn't seem like your husband has "real" reasons to not have a midwife, I don't see why you should have to convince him. HE should convince you. </p> <p>For what it's worth, I was induced at a hospital with my midwife. She stayed with me through 4 hours of pushing &amp; never once suggested that something was wrong. She had a doctor come to make sure the baby hadn't become turned around &amp; another to do a vaccuum extraction at the very end. I loved my experience with her and told my husband we can't move out of town until we have our 2nd child with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1311702 Wed, 01 Jan 2014 14:32:55 +0000 looch 1311702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I gave birth abroad, but I had an OB during my pregnancy. He "released" me to the hospital at 36 weeks and I delivered with midwives. There was an OB on call that day, as everyday, and I saw her when she came in to give me my 4 stitches. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1311699 Wed, 01 Jan 2014 14:30:36 +0000 Mrs. Deer 1311699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I delivered with a midwife in a hospital and loved it. I felt really supported, she was in the room a lot and very encouraging. After LD was born I wouldn't stop bleeding and she handled it. I think an OB came in (too many people to tell and I was on the brink of passing out) but she coordinated what all the nurses needed to be doing and stopped the bleeding. I like that there was less interventions yet since she was working alongside ob's I felt completely safe the entire time. Maybe having your husband talk with the midwife at an appointment (when the time comes) would be helpful, I think he would find it reassuring to see just how knowledgeable and awesome they are. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1311339 Wed, 01 Jan 2014 08:19:01 +0000 avivoca 1311339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Confetti: I feel that care by a midwife during labor is actually better than with an OB. I was in the hospital for the last four hours of my labor and had a midwife with me the entire time. The nurses also did not offer pain meds per my birth plan. My friends who delivered with OB's said they rarely saw them during labor, only when they were pushing out the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1311283 Wed, 01 Jan 2014 03:24:12 +0000 lamariniere 1311283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another midwife story here. I live in Austria and it is very common to have a midwife throughout pregnancy and for the birth. I actually chose not to have a midwife, but an OB throughout my pregnancy. However, when the big day arrived, it was the hospital midwife, who I had never met before, who was there for my labor and delivered my baby. My labor progressed so fast and furiously that my OB didn't make it to the hospital in time! I was only in labor for 45 minutes and had a med-free birth (which was not the plan!). The midwife was completely amazing and calm and really encouraging throughout the whole birth experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310860 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 18:18:34 +0000 Happygal 1310860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he's more conservative, I don't know if The Business of Being Born is a movie to show him! Plus, you'll be in the hospital, and that movie mainly focuses on home births and shows the rest of the medical field in a negative light.</p> <p>I hope you can come to an agreement on this! I want my husband to be involved, but I would also hope he would trust and respect my desire for how I would want to give birth and be taken care of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310849 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 18:04:46 +0000 mrsjazz 1310849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I switched from an OB to midwives. While my OB was great, he had a ton of patients and our appointments were short. With my midwives they really focused on me as a whole person, not just a woman carrying a baby. They cared about my all-around well-being and my appointments lasted a lot longer because they took the time.</p> <p>I ended up delivering at the hospital with a C-section so ultimately LO was delivered by an OB, but I met this OB 15 minutes before the surgery. My midwife was there at the hospital (she has privileges there) and I was her patient. So, she took care of me the whole way and was also in the room during my c-section.</p> <p>Midwives are trained medical professionals. And if you'll be delivering in a hospital anyway, I don't see why he wouldn't be okay with a midwife. Is he going with you to every single appointment? I understand he has a say in this, but seems like there's no valid argument on his part against a midwife, especially if you'll be at a hospital and there will be an OB on call should you end up having complications and needing a C-section. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310846 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 18:03:07 +0000 anandam 1310846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're planning a hospital birth you'll have a CNM or CM - here's their professional organization's site aimed at clearing up some misconceptions:<br /> <a href="http://ourmomentoftruth.midwife.org" rel="nofollow">http://ourmomentoftruth.midwife.org</a></p> <p>All of them have some sort of collaborative relationship with surgeons in case the need arises for that. All of them are trained in common complications (including hemorrhage, newborn resuscitation, etc) and your average midwife is actually BETTER qualified than your average OB/GYN surgeon to manage and troubleshoot labor and vaginal deliveries, because it's what they've focused their training on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310815 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 17:26:32 +0000 anonysquire 1310815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I am lucky. I told my husband I am birthing with midwives at a birthing center and that was that. My body, my choices. But it also helped him feel better to take a tour of the place and meet the midwife. Also we watched business of being born and I often show him birthing videos or stories online. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310774 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 17:02:54 +0000 MrsMccarthy 1310774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe just find a midwife you like and have him agree to meet with her? He can see if he feels good in her hands or not and ask questions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310648 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:55:07 +0000 SweetMamaM 1310648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just another point of view here; midwife delivery is actually the norm in New Zealand and you are only likely to see an OB if there are high risk factors. We have a much lower rate of medical interventions than the US. Even if you are delivering in a hospital, you will only see a OB if you are having an intervention (ventouse, forceps, c-section) or if you already fell into a high-risk category. To see an OB privately (without referral) is very expensive and therefore rare in our socialized health system. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310593 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:39:26 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 1310593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband was unsure about going the midwife route (also having the baby in a hospital). But he agreed to come to the first meeting with her and he was really impressed so we went that way. If he meets a midwife and she impresses him, maybe that will help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310592 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:38:50 +0000 septca 1310592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a MW hospital birth. My practice is OB and MW, so I could have switched to an OB the second I needed one. All of the L&amp;D rooms and nursing staff are shared, so it would have been a non-issue. My primary reason for seeing a MW was that I wanted a low-intervention, med-free, vaginal birth. My area has a ridiculously high c section rate, so going with a MW was key. I ended up getting what I wanted, under circumstances that would have required a c section with an OB. </p> <p>When I made my decision, I was really focused on the birth experience. Being with a MW ended up being really important for my birth, but what left the most lasting impression on me was how different my prenatal care was with a MW. A MW treats pregnancy and childbirth as something completely natural and beautiful that your body was built for. With doctors, that isn't always the case. I wanted a care provider who wouldn't treat pregnancy like an illness.</p> <p>All due respect to your husband, but I find his argument insulting. MWs who deliver in hospitals are highly trained nurses with masters degrees and specialized experience in their field. Their years and hours of training isn't that different than an OB. It's not like you are calling some old lady who has seen a few births to come deliver your baby. </p> <p>An important note: my husband was NOT on board with a natural birth. He just didn't get why I wanted to do it "the hard way." It took him quite a while to get on board - for him, it was understanding the importance of being able to move around during labor and how I likely wouldn't be able to with an epidural. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310585 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:36:16 +0000 catlady 1310585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I gave birth with a midwife in a hospital setting. My reasoning for wanting the midwife as opposed to an OB was that I feel like pregnancy is a healthy condition, so I didn't feel that I needed a doctor unless I or the baby developed some complication. Since my midwife works in a hospital, I knew that if anything went wrong, I could immediately have access to care from an OB. But I didn't end up needing one, and I am very happy with my midwife experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310559 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:26:17 +0000 sarac 1310559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a great story of midwife ob collaboration!</p> <p>I had a hospital based midwife through my uneventful pregnancy. At 41 weeks my fluid was too low, and I needed an induction. My midwives managed my induction for the first 24 hours, and then called a surgeon to consult when I wasn't progressing. He said a csection was an option, but that we had other interventions to try first to hopefully preserve a vaginal birth. He actively discouraged me from choosing a section. My midwives worked with the ob to do additional things, and I delivered my daughter vaginally 24 hours later. </p> <p>Her birth was traumatic, though, and she was born distressed. The neonatal code team was waiting outside my door, they worked on her, and she spent a week in the nicu. Then she went home perfectly healthy and has remained so. </p> <p>My birth was basically the model of ob, midwife collaboration. I got many aspects of a med free birth, and my daughter got all the medical care she needed. You too can have this! This is one of the best things about hospital based midwives, IMHO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310556 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:25:35 +0000 Vegmama 1310556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is a really beautiful resource ... We switched from an OB to a midwife at 17 weeks, and I am so happy about our decision. Our journey has been so laidback, and I feel like I am in the best, caring hands. Good luck!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310536 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:18:06 +0000 jedeve 1310536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I delivered via midwife in a hospital! </p> <p>I had an uncomplicated birth with an epidrual, but I pushed for three hours because of the baby's position in my pelvis. After 2.5 hrs, the overseeing OB (that's something for your DH to note - there will most likely be an OB on the floor or that she is checking in with) wanted to do a vacuum delivery. She convinced him to let me push for thirty more minutes. Granted, I was yelling "suck it out" (epidural had long worn off at this point!) but she kept reminding me natural was better. I'm very thankful for that, because if it hadn't have worked, I would have had a c-section. Later she mentioned that it had been a diffent overseeing OB, I would have had a c section much earlier, even though there was no medical need. </p> <p>Of course, that is all anecdotal. But you should look into c section rates for a midwife vs. OB. Granted, they are somewhat skewed because midwives don't generally take high risk pregnancies.</p> <p>Here is why I went with my midwife:</p> <p>I had been seeing another OB in the same practice. He was very busy and flippant and had long waits due to his popularity. </p> <p>My midwife didn't rotate call with the other OBs, so if I went into labor, she would be the one there, not whomever was on call. </p> <p>Lower c section rates. </p> <p>She was in a larger practice, so if my pregnancy was complicated I could just switch to another OB. </p> <p>She had pushed a baby out herself. </p> <p>Most of labor the nurses take care of. The attending really just catches in a normal delivery. I didn't feel like I required much more. </p> <p>I watched Call the Midwife on PBS. (JK...sort of) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310528 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:13:19 +0000 Cole 1310528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Confetti: Another way to think about it is that he trusts you to find a regular health care provider for yourself, someone you trust, feel confident in and are comfortable with. If you had been seeing a midwife all along for well woman care he probably wouldn't have batted an eye. </p> <p>A friend's midwife practice reassures patients that if anything is ever slightly "off" that the midwives check in with the doctor and the doctor will come in to check on the patient (all through pregnancy and labor), midwives are more likely to catch these nuanced little things since they spend more time with their patients. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310505 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:03:43 +0000 Beyond2 1310505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Try searching the midwifery model of care to build a case. I had a homebirth which I am planning to do again in April. I know that's not the route you are looking to go but I could sing praises about the way my midwives cared for us all day :-). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310438 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:43:14 +0000 Mrs. Confetti 1310438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: sadly he is so close-minded to the whole thing that his argument is, "if we are in a hospital, why wouldn't we have an OB?" Basically he has no valid arguments except that OBs are doctors and of course it should be a doctor...um, no?</p> <p>@bpcmarj: @loveisstrange: @evansjamie: @Cole: thanks for sharing your experiences. We don't know anyone locally who has used midwives so I am totally going to share these great examples. :heart: </p> <p>@MrsMccarthy: I feel like the business of being born is going to be a bit too doom and gloom/harsh. I don't have anything against OBs or the hospital system, I just personally want a midwife. Plus I doubt he would sit through it. Hoping I can sway him via written argument and my crazy hormones alone. </p> <p>@HolisticMama: great idea Re: informational visit - nanotube sure if our local midwives group does this, but I am going to investigate this! Thanks!</p> <p>@spaniellove: our local mw practice does have both - hoping this will help away decision :) thanks!!</p> <p>@Espion: thank you for the link and for your perspective - I think both will help immensely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310387 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:26:40 +0000 Espion 1310387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, here is <a href="http://20birthtips.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">http://20birthtips.blogspot.com</a> from an L&amp;D nurse in Seattle. Obviously, the posts are her opinion, but tip #14 and #20 are applicable because they lay out the differences (and benefits!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310309 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:07:26 +0000 Cole 1310309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some things that have helped my husband be on board whenever we get there were The Business of Being Born, chatting with a doctor friend who hated his ob rotation because the pay was better the more services you could bill for, my gyn does not deliver anymore and when I asked for a referral to an ob she said to go to a midwife instead unless I have any risk factors. Both our Dr. friend and my gyn said that midwives spend a lot more time, are more supportive of natural birth and are more calming influences. </p> <p>Can you call the practice you were hoping to go with and ask for an informational meeting? We will be waffling between home and hospital birth with midwife when we get to that point and that is my plan. </p> <p>I would also ask specifically what his concerns are, it might be easier for us to help you find some data to help ease his fears if it is more then just his gut reaction.</p> <p>ETA: Do you know anyone in your lives who had a birth with a midwife? Sometimes knowing other people have used one helps to normalize it a bit. With my husband normalizing things really helps (he seems to think part time elimination communication is normal because we had two family members who did it so he is totally on board with it despite it being a fringe practice.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310295 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 14:04:37 +0000 PawPrints 1310295@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Yeah exactly. When I first explained the concept of a midwife to my DH, I think I said something like "A midwife's whole job is to focus on people having routine births, whereas a doctor's top priority is always going to be anybody in any kind of medical emergency or complex situation." I think that helped him get the idea that the midwife would spend a lot more time helping a laboring mom through the routine part of birth (which of course feels anything but routine to a first-time mom.)</p> <p>(I may have added something like "For the midwife, I am the most interesting part of her day.") :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310269 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:57:02 +0000 Boheme 1310269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was going to respond, and then I read what everyone else posted... and I echo @Espion: wholeheartedly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310254 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:52:42 +0000 Dandelion 1310254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: that's what I was going to say. All the technology is there and if a concern arises there are OBs there that can swoop in and help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310252 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:51:52 +0000 HolisticMama 1310252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsMccarthy: I second this. The Business of Being Born is wonderful. You can see it on YouTube. </p> <p>@Mrs. Confetti: I would actually schedule an appointment with a midwife and let DH ask questions and have her (or him) explain the differences in care between a midwife and an OBGYN. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310246 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:49:19 +0000 Foodnerd81 1310246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I delivered in a hospital with a midwife practice. I saw midwives throughout my pregnancy, which was uncomplicated. The midwife was with me throughout the relatively short time I was in the hospital (4 hours from arrival to birth), as well as an amazing nurse. When baby's heart rate wasn't responding well to the contractions, they called in an OB, who ended up using a vacuum to assist on the last push, as they didn't like the heart rate issues and wanted her out fast. Once she came out screaming (obviously no issues with oxygen) they went back to the more natural approach and I got my skin to skin, etc, before she was cleaned or weighed. </p> <p>So, there is an example of a midwife birth where there were some minor complications and the OB came in at the end. I guess technically it was an OB delivery but she was only there for half an hour. </p> <p>I will absolutely go with a midwife again. They were so supportive, offering different pain management techniques, never brought up epidurals (at my request) and when I asked for one, they checked me and confirmed I was in transition so encouraged me to keep going without-- again, since they knew that was what I wanted, not that they were forcing it on me. </p> <p>I wouldn't personally be comfortable at a free standing birth center, as I wanted the security of a hospital, with the more natural, hands off approach of a midwife, so the midwife practice in a hospital was perfect for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310241 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:48:11 +0000 Grace 1310241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't midwives have a lot of schooling? That could help him feel more confident that they know what they are doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-me-make-my-case-to-dh-for-a-midwife#post-1310196 Tue, 31 Dec 2013 13:26:18 +0000 avivoca 1310196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I LOVE my midwife! I delivered with a midwife in a hospital and had a great experience. Throughout my pregnancy, I was always informed and felt like a partner in my care. My practice works with an OB office and is very low intervention. I had GD and was never pressured to induce or told I may have a large baby. I really noticed the difference when I had to visit MFM and the OB pressured me to have genetic testing done to rule out Downs and other Genetic disorders. </p> <p>For books, I recommend reading Birth Matters by Ina May Gaskin. </p>