https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Jul 2026 07:00:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2085859 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 21:12:03 +0000 vnvdvci 2085859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Hmmm, well granted I don't know your LO, but when mine acts out like that it's usually from feeling insecure. If I were in your position I'd try to start teaching her that some things are hers, some are mine, and some things we share. We have a game too, similar to @Rockies11's--LO (22 months) goes around the house and points out what item belongs to who. Now her communication pattern for most things goes by 1. ID color, 2. ID owner--her life is pretty much defined by this lol. Another thing I did to encourage sharing was to share a treat (smoothie) with her on weekends, which for some reason she found extremely amusing. Maybe that could work for you as well? Along with learning about this, your LO will have to learn that while you are her mommy, she needs to share you too!</p> <p>Hope some of this helped. I know it's not one size fits all with these (adorable) monsters. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2085701 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 19:21:36 +0000 Adira 2085701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I noticed that Xander started acting out a lot more the month or two leading up to when I was due with #2. Then the acting out continued for about another month after Logan was born. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2085691 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 19:07:58 +0000 Rockies11 2085691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 19 month old did a lot of "mine", but we went a lighthearted route where we run around the house and claim things and yell "mine" and then laugh, so it's sort of silly and a game and it takes the serious possessiveness out of it. We have her baby doll and the dog do it too. Now she only does it when she wants to play a game. In terms of sharing, I have read that they're too little to understand sharing until they're about three, and that taking turns works better, with time limits. So it's only "mine" for two minutes, with a one minute and 30 second warning, and then we let the other person take a turn, etc., which sounds like it's already working for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2085655 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 18:34:37 +0000 Corduroy 2085655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@vnvdvci: We tried taking away things she called mine and giving them a time out a few months ago when 'mine' started. At the time I thought it helped and decreased her possessiveness of toys but it's gotten so much worse with other things I could be totally wrong. We haven't done the time out thing in a few months since she progressed to declaring things like the house, living room, and mom as "mine" and I didn't figure out a way to give them a time out.</p> <p>We have introduced sharing. She's not great at straight up sharing (e.g. I have six crayons, you can use three crayons. I have six you can maybe use the white one) but she is pretty good at respecting turns. </p> <p>@Adira: Sounds like Xander is doing well with the transition. I'm terrified because I don't even know if expecting LO2 has any impact on LO1's behavior yet. LO tells me 'baby brother' is her 2 month old cousin (her cousin's baby brother). She gets a little jealous if I hold him but has learned from experience that he goes back to auntie's house and is really no big deal. We've been trying to explain the real baby brother but somehow it always comes back to my nephew. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2084741 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 11:54:10 +0000 vnvdvci 2084741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You didn't give a comprehensive picture maybe, but do you think the taking away of things she calls "mine" might be making her more rather than less possessive? I noticed when LO played with a 3 yo cousin (who had the habit of grabbing things out of her hands despite LO saying "mine") that she became a LOT more frantic about "mine" for a while afterwards and needed a lot of assurances that we weren't going to snatch everything away from her.</p> <p>Also, have you introduced sharing? When LO started with "mine", we always confirm it's hers (assuming it is), but can she needs to share (if appropriate). And if it's not hers we correct her (Mommy's/Daddy's/etc.), but we can share (if appropriate). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2084735 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 11:52:14 +0000 Adira 2084735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Xander (2 years tomorrow) learned to say "mine" just before his brother was born!</p> <p>I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not, but with Xander, I try to reassure him while also encouraging him not to be so possessive. For example, when I would pick him up from daycare, if another kid talked to me (or heaven-forbid, gave me a hug), Xander would immediately run over and be all "No so-and-so! Mine! My mama!" or something like that. I'd try to reassure him with "Yes, Xander, I'm YOUR Mama, but it's okay if so-and-so gives me a hug!"</p> <p>After Logan was born, the few times I would pick him up from daycare and bring the baby, Xander would be very possessive. The little girls in his class are always so excited to see Logan, but Xander would always try to push them away or move Logan's car seat away from them, saying "No! Mine! My baby!" Again, I just reassure him with something like "Yes Xander, Logan is YOUR (or OUR) baby, but so-and-so can look at him! He's coming home with US!" I THINK it's working. Yesterday when I picked up both boys from daycare, Xander let me get him dressed while the girls in his class mooned over Logan, and he didn't seem bothered by it.</p> <p>Good luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-mine-is-out-of-control#post-2084718 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 11:43:14 +0000 Corduroy 2084718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My just-turned-2 DD has been experimenting with saying "mine" for a few months. At first we were pretty tough on it. We told her we didn't like it when she said that, took away anything that was claimed as "mine" and had some time outs. The use of mine only seemed to grow. She then moved on to "mine" house, "mine" living room and tried to not let us in. Obviously we didn't go along with that either. Despite our efforts pretty much every sentence now starts with "mine."</p> <p>Surprisingly, for all her talk of "mine" she isn't too bad about actually sharing things at daycare or with other friends. </p> <p>The biggest issue at the moment is "mine" mommy. If another kid talks to me at daycare pick up she runs and knocks them down and screams at them. Again, obviously unacceptable and daycare and I reworked the pickup routine.</p> <p>Last night LO progressed to another level of concerning. When DH opened the front door coming home she jumped in my arms and screamed "mine mommy" more in a scared way then a territorial way.... same thing when DH got up this morning. </p> <p>I am expecting (due in June) and I'm not sure how much she understands at the moment. </p> <p>I'm lost as to whether I should be reassuring her when she feels someone is threatening her claim to 'her mommy' or treating it more like when she says a toy or the living room is hers. Since it's just getting worse all around I feel like I'm doing it wrong on both accounts. </p> <p>Any suggestions or similar experiences? I'm not seeing so much "mine" behavior in other similarly aged LOs so I don't know how bad it is. </p>