https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Jul 2026 00:49:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2786135 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 15:37:01 +0000 Mamaof2 2786135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@matador84: When is the session over? Did you pay for a month or 8 weeks or a year?</p> <p>I would have her finish out what you paid for but after that I would let her quit.</p> <p>We tried dance at 3 and 4 after DD asking and it was awful. We didn't try at 5 when she asked - but she asked again at 6.5 and I said yes and she loves it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2786073 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 12:15:30 +0000 codeitall 2786073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I considered signing 2yo DS up for little gym classes, my mother really cautioned me about it. She said the first few times would be fun for the novelty of it, and once it becomes tradition/expectation/routine, it won't be as fun and he'd just resist. As others have said, they aren't really old enough to see something through because they just can't grasp how long a season is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785847 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 13:48:43 +0000 youboots 2785847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that making a kid stick with something at 4 yr old to teach a lesson is too young. It depends on the kid but I think at least mid elementary. Time and commitment are still such vauge concepts.</p> <p>DD 2y8mo hated dance class the first few times - tears, covered in snot and tears and not participating (parents are not in the same room) and now loves it- it’s a sept- may program. Maybe she need a few times to get back into the swing of things. I agree about talking to her teacher. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785819 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 07:24:10 +0000 looch 2785819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was go to classes, but we couldn't really afford a ton of stuff and it was difficult for my mom to shuttle me around town. Now, my son has so many opportunities for classes and he doesn't want to go!</p> <p>The thing is that I am trying to work on my son's anxiety about new situations, so I signed him up for a science class as part of the after school program. The environment is familiar and its only an hour once a week and so far, he's okay with it. We are still working on a Saturday activity, last year it was art classes and requested those again. I think the thing is that he's not into sports, which is fine, so it's been a bit of a challenge to find other things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785813 Sun, 12 Nov 2017 06:40:20 +0000 Pancakes 2785813@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I wrote a post almost just like this a few years ago. We had signed DD up for dance at her insistence and then it became a huge battle. At the time I really felt like she should stick with it because we had just spent $$ on the shoes, leotard, tights, and also because we had started in January and I felt that the teacher/class was counting on her for the recital. It was very painful for both of us to have her stick with it though, and I don’t know what I would have done if we hadn’t had the recital looming. We definitely wouldn’t have signed up for another semester. I will say that after the recital we took some time off from doing any activities and I don’t regret that at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785804 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 23:00:16 +0000 ElbieKay 2785804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get the impulse to make your child stick with something and see it through. But I think not-quite-four is awfully young for that lesson. Does she even understand how many she is signed up for, and what that means? My son is around that age (3y8mo), and he clearly does not wrap his head around how the calendar works yet.</p> <p>That being said, every single morning he tells me he doesn't like school. And we go anyway, whether he likes it or not. Mama's gotta go to work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785755 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:54:45 +0000 erinbaderin 2785755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We’re having the same experience with science class, although I did sign him up without asking (plus I attend with him). I don’t really blame him, it’s kind of boring, (today 6 kids took turns adding ingredients to make playdoh) but I just tell him we’re going to finish out the session and then we won’t sign up again. I expect to have a lot more trouble in January when I’ve signed him up for a nonparented (something he’s told me he never wants to do) swim class (something he doesn’t like). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785753 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:38:50 +0000 hilsy85 2785753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't tell you how many things I've signed my older one up for only to have him refuse to go after one or two classes. He's now 5, and I only have him signed up for one thing right now, and that's after taking a break for about 9 months. It's not worth it to me to force him and make it a miserable experience. My son just has a hard time with new experiences as well, especially if he feels like he is not as good at something as he would like. I might have her just go to the class and sit on the sidelines, even if she doesn't want to participate--kind of keeps the point of being involved in some way since you made the commitment. But 4 is also really young to understand that lesson, so I wouldn't make a big deal of just dropping it, especially if there's no financial penalty to you for doing so! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785752 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:37:07 +0000 Alba4 2785752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had the same issue with soccer this past Spring. DS was a few months shy of 4 and he only lasted 2 practices. I think it was a combination of things: DS didn’t like the drills, the coaching wasn’t developmentally appropriate, DS wasn’t really ready to drop his nap (which was during practice time), and he just wanted to run and kick (not follow a lesson). </p> <p>We didn’t make him go. We’ll try another sport this spring, maybe T-ball? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785751 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:29:12 +0000 birdofafeather 2785751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: Agreed. DD1 wanted to do soccer but it became this whole struggle by the end so I just said well wait a while until we try something again. I was all about signing her up for things but she was into it. If she weren’t, I would bail. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785749 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 11:39:02 +0000 honeybear 2785749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think 3 or 4 is generally too young for these types of classes. And I say that as someone who started taking ballet at 3, continued through college, and dances for fun in adulthood. Honestly, I don't think it would have mattered at all to what I did if my mom had just bought me a tutu and put on some music in the living room, until about 6 or 7. At that point, it's possible to teach technique, insist upon regular practice, and get a motivated child to focus. This is the approach I took with my son for the activity he wanted to do and it's going really well. He's 7 now and we started about mid-way last year. </p> <p>Anyhow, all that is to say: I'd let the classes be for several years. There's plenty of time. You're not going to kill her interest in a potential passion because you opt out of preschool classes. There are other ways to foster an interest in dance, music, arts, or sports at that age, and they're way more fun than arguing with a preschooler! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785748 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 11:36:55 +0000 JMOM 2785748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you talked to her teacher? I’d check with them and see how she is doing in class. My daughter was the same way and by the time she reached recital, she was doing better. I was told that was a common reaction, but once they do their recital and get to dress up and go on stage, they start to enjoy it more. My daughter did it for a couple years but we decided together to do things she enjoyed more, but at least she gave it a good shot. Good luck, it’s no fun trying to force them to do something they don’t want to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785743 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 10:39:35 +0000 Ina85 2785743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did she want to want to start taking dance classes in the first place because other friends were in dance classes? Where did her interest initially come from? Dance classes aren't all fun and games, they're more structured so if you're not all about it, it's not going to be great. It sounds like at this time, she's not into it. She should want to go to these classes and it should something to enjoy, not a struggle. And like you said, it's a waste of money if it's this difficult to get her to go. I would stop and maybe try later when she's older if she wants to and look for something else she can try. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-my-child-is-difficult#post-2785740 Sat, 11 Nov 2017 10:24:50 +0000 matador84 2785740@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, let me back up this post first with saying I am certain my daughter is just stubborn, and praying this is a phase--but it's gone on since 2 and we're getting close to 4 so it's an awfully long phase.</p> <p>We started DD in Ballet/Tap in August because she had been asking us, so we enrolled her. It's just a drop-off, pick-up class. She would come out of class not particularly enthused but would tell us what she did if we really pressed it. The last 3-4 classes have been us wrestling her to even get dressed to go and I HATE having to force her to do something she doesn't want to do, but want to make a point if she starts something she needs to finish it.</p> <p>We missed the last 2 classes because we were out of town the last 2 weeks. When I started to get her ready today, she flat-out refused to go and I ended up throwing my hands in despair. We've tried bribes, consequences, etc. previously just to get her to go but I don't feel like it's worth wrestling her over and making her hysterical just to prove a point she needs to go and finish.</p> <p>Anyone else in the same boat? I want her to be involved in something she loves, but I'm not going to pay for her to do something and halfway through the season she decides she doesn't want to do it anymore. Ugh! </p>