https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Jul 2026 17:44:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334257 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:47:24 +0000 mrsjyw 334257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: ditto!</p> <p>Id tell my gf if I was in the position. Sounds like a good plan w them trsting her and then naturally having it come out. Good thing she has you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334255 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:45:56 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 334255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She should have been in counseling long before now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334237 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:34:59 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I spoke to my friend. I didn't outright tell her but asked what her plan would be if she found out she was smoking marijuana. She told me they did surprise checks on her since that incident. They buy kits from Walgreens, but they haven't checked her in months. She said they'd force her into counseling if its positive.</p> <p>I encouraged her to buy a kit. She's gonna do it this weekend. It's pretty late here and I'm gonna wait until tomorrow at least before I say anything about her Instagram activity. I think I want to talk to her daughter myself first and get her to tell her mom about her marijuana use. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334176 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:50:21 +0000 LemonLong 334176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Mrsmenow. She could be rebelling even more because of all the rules and punishments. Family counseling might be helpful to create an open dialogue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334144 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:40:22 +0000 mrsmenow 334144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont' think boarding school is the answer. I just think they may need to be trying different parenting techniques. What works with some kids doesn't always work with others. Maybe family counceling would get them to a place that they can all communicate.</p> <p>If this were my kids, she would be on lock down until things get better. No door to her room, no going anywhere but school and home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334142 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:39:43 +0000 blackbird 334142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>last resort, man. maybe some family therapy or something would help? They could learn to understand her angst (or why she acts out, at least?...) and some methods for coping with her? </p> <p>I just don't know. This is one of my biggest concerns </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334128 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:28:15 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: I looked it up. Holy crap! $2450 - $4500 a month!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334124 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:22:12 +0000 blackbird 334124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, they certainly do. My parents looked into sending my brother to one when he got into smoking some unsavory things </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334122 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:19:46 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She's already beyond grounded now after the car incident. They have to go to court for it! Her excuse after her mom found out about the marijuana, "I just wanted to try it!" So technically her mom knows about the marijuana.</p> <p>I'm gonna suggest a boarding school. Damn, I don't even know if they have that in Southern CA. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334119 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:15:33 +0000 blackbird 334119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ugh that's so sneaky. Obviously she's finding ways to do things when she's not supervised...she's 16, though, she can't be watched 24/7. </p> <p>If you don't want to tell the mom, give it a week and talk to the daughter. If you don't see an improvement, I'd let them know. It's only going to get worse without intervention </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334118 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:15:21 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"There's no electronics in her room." -- is what my friend thinks. Ack ... dammit, I should call her back soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334111 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:12:16 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsmenow: That's the thing. She's only allowed to do her homework downstairs and there's not even a phone line in her room. She must have gotten a phone from someone and using it secretly! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334109 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:10:22 +0000 mrsmenow 334109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would recomend to our friend that she get on instagram and facbook and monitor her daughter's profiles. I would let her know that I saw pictures that weren't the most appropriate and let her go from there. Maybe the mom can put the computer in an area where she can monitor the use while the daughter is doing homework. My kids won't have a TV or computer in their individual rooms for this purpose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334106 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:08:53 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: she's not supposed to have those either. She used to take dress-up pics with her hair curled in her closet. I always wondered why it was in there, now I realize it's cause she's not supposed to have a phone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334104 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:07:03 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's totally her parents responsibility, but she's not listening to them at all. They seem to be doing everything they can, even meeting with teachers, trying to setup a reward system. But it's going downhill. She just switched schools and I know she had a bf. She's been wanting to go to a certain HS since Jr High but they lived near a different one. Well her parents just bought a house that's closer to the HS she wanted to go to so they allowed her to transfer at the start of the year. She now wants to transfer back and her mom's has spoken to the both schools to try and make it happen by next school year but now she's FAILING her classes!</p> <p>She's not listening to them and totally not caring! I feel like she would listen to me, even if its just a little. But there's no way shed even want to talk to me if I tell on her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334099 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:02:27 +0000 blackbird 334099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would you want to know if your child was doing these things?</p> <p>You could always talk to the mom and ask her to pretend she didn't hear it so you could have a chance to intervene. In case it works. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334094 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 16:59:26 +0000 anonysquire 334094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could she have an ipad or ipod? You can post on instagram with those as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334092 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 16:58:39 +0000 MamaMoose 334092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And yes I would absolutely tell her mom she has a phone and is on Instagram. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334089 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 16:56:27 +0000 chopsuey 334089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I were her mom I would want to know about the Instagram and being high. :T you could try to step in and help, but it's really your friend's responsibility..<br /> Tough situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334088 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 16:56:02 +0000 MamaMoose 334088@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes. It seems like your friend has really tried to set limits and consequences and they just aren't having an effect. Is there ANY possibility of sending her to a private or parochial school? It seems like at this point she needs to be totally moved out of her current environment in order to change. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/help-teen-advice-needed#post-334085 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 16:53:10 +0000 SugarplumsMom 334085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just found out my sweet godchild is going through a stage (we hope)! LSS: she's 16, got caught joyriding her parents car, got a speeding ticket and for driving w/o a license. The cop was understanding and luckily the car wasn't towed! My friend msged me with all this and I couldn't help but LOL. But then she tells me more! I just got off the phone with her and supposed to call her back and need some advice.</p> <p>She told me that her daughter (my goddaughter) hasn't had a phone for a year. That she's been grounded and has been stripped of her phone rights for ages now and she was going to get it all back by this Dec if she worked on her grades ... ummmm ... She's on Instagram! I have her on my Instagram and FB for ages now. The FB, she can access on their computer when she does her homework, but not Instagram.</p> <p>She then tells me that J (goddaughter) got caught with marijuana months ago! They went through a whole ordeal and even got the school's VP involved in finding out who sold it to her. So right after I hang up with my friend I check Instagram and really look through her pics ... there's a pic she posted just 1 week ago, on the couch with another girl with the caption "Omg, I'm high". Waaaaaaah?! </p> <p>Do I tell her Mom? It would eliminate all chances of me being able to step in and "help" somehow if I do. This is my first godchild, my friend had her really young, but she was never like this! </p>