https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 12:43:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2800018 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 14:43:42 +0000 crazydoglady 2800018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: I've been taking zoloft for nearly 13 years (on and off at times) and I haven't noticed any notable side effects. The important thing is to start on a lower dosage and work your way up to the dosage that works for you. I know there are quite a few bees on here who have taken zoloft. I will say that being on zoloft doesn't make my to-do list any shorter, it just makes my ability to deal with it SO much better and I am less likely to ruminate over things. In the past, I didn't like the label of taking behavioral meds but, now, I don't care. For me, it's part of self-care. Obviously, this is a personal decision, I just wanted to share my experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799999 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 14:20:39 +0000 MrsSRS 2799999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really helped me if I could just move around a bit. So I would try to vacuum the house first thing in the morning or something like that. Also Bach's Rescue Remedy, St. John's Wort, and trying to just focus on one task at a time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799903 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 10:46:29 +0000 jennlin821 2799903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: I solo parent during the week (DD is 13 mo old) and I work full time, so I can understand how crushing all the responsibility can feel. </p> <p>Is there something that you can let go of, stop doing something?<br /> For example, I stopped sweeping and vacuuming during the week. I live in Maine, so we trek in salt, sand and snow and DD is eating on her own, so cheerios are constantly on the floor. It was so draining and defeating that I would sweep every night after her dinner and it would be a mess again 12 hours later after breakfast AND THEN have to do it another 10 hours later after dinner.<br /> We never had guesting during the week, so besides any huge or very wet, staining messes (spaghetti, oatmeal, etc) I just leave it. Its not ideal, but it was a huge relief to me once I decided it didn't need to get done. </p> <p>So if you can think about something that you can 'let go' of, that may help. I hate it when I'm spending my precious few minutes with DD thinking about what else I 'should' be doing. </p> <p>One more thing, it sounds like you don't have any time for self-care. With a new job it might be tricky, but could you take a day off (or a half day) while the kids are in daycare?<br /> Then do what you need to do to feel refreshed... go for a walk, sleep, clean, read, etc.? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799880 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 10:20:34 +0000 babybunnylove 2799880@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: my doctor has prescribed me Zoloft however I’m scared of the side effects. Even husband is worried of the side effects since I’m alone with the kids 99% of the time. I do go to therapy. But with job change we have a few weeks with no insurance. I love my kids and being with the but just wish I was happier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799844 Fri, 26 Jan 2018 05:04:12 +0000 ElbieKay 2799844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really did not enjoy parenting an infant. I think I would have liked it for 6-8 hours per day, but the relentless nature was really hard for me. I felt guilty to be relieved to go back to work, and then I was so tired and overwhelmed by my life that I was distracted and ineffective at work.</p> <p>I had no idea when I would stop feeling that way. I reached a few milestones on that: (1) when my son turned 10mo he started to be a lttle more fun (2) when he started talking he started to be a lot more fun (3) when I finally killed my last nursing session at 14mos, it was really freeing and (4) a few months later, I joined an expensive gym with a shmancy locker room and left the house at 6am twice per week to exercise and shower in peace.m before work.</p> <p>Those were the milestones that got me on to a path towards feeling like a human being instead of a baby slave.</p> <p>In hindsight, I wish I had (a) given myself more breaks sooner (which frankly felt impossible at the time due to nursing coupled with an intense hatred of pumping) and (b) understood how freaking awesome my kid would eventually be. During the slog, I had no idea how very worth it all that effort would eventually be.</p> <p>I am pregnant again now and pretty worried about this issue but I think/hope that I will have better perspective this time. Plus I will have to spend less time focused exclusively on the babies because I can't just ignore my son. And with twins there is no way I can do it all, so I may as well just take some breaks and hang out with someone who speaks English!</p> <p>I don't know how old your child is, or how long you have felt this way. But I am certain that you will find your parenting sweet spot eventually. I wish I could have had faith in that when my son was so young and demanding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799840 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 23:08:09 +0000 crazydoglady 2799840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: Sorry if this has been mentioned but have you looked into an SSRI like Zoloft? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799839 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 23:03:15 +0000 babybunnylove 2799839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With two now in daycare we can’t financially swing anything extra. It seems like everything is just very hard right now. I’m stressed out and it’s affecting my pumping output which makes me stress more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799809 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 19:16:14 +0000 lamariniere 2799809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another list maker here!</p> <p>I sometimes struggle with panic disorder, so a lot of my symptoms are my body but not my mind. What I do is find a 10 min youtube video and do a guided mindfulness meditation. It can really help calm me down and help me refocus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799806 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 19:05:44 +0000 MamaCate 2799806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: I am so sorry you are struggling! My survival toolkit includes:<br /> -deep breaths<br /> -cursing<br /> -saying over and over again “this too shall pass”<br /> -rewarding myself with little treats for making it through the day like chocolate or beer or both<br /> -sometimes trying to get through the next 5 minutes, next hour, next email, next meeting when it all feels overwhelming can help it feel not so bad.</p> <p>You will find your groove eventually so try to be patient with yourself. I remember being so overwhelmed when I went back to work and now we are 6 years into the work/family juggle</p> <p>ETA: we couldn’t afford to hire outside help when lo1 was a baby so we tried to find cheap ways to catch a break, like take and bake pizza on Fridays instead of delivery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799805 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 18:59:34 +0000 hellobeeboston 2799805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I, like everyone else it seems, feel a little better with a list. Going back and getting into a new routine is so hard. It will get easier. Are there any areas you can make easier somehow? Order out for dinner? Have a cleaner once or twice a month? A mother’s helper for an hour or two when you get home?</p> <p>Lightening your load in one area could really help.</p> <p>A new job is stressful but you will settle into it!</p> <p>Good luck. My other suggestion would be to take a day off for a mental health day (even to just lay around all day and do nothing, I just did this)... but hard to do in a new job. Maybe next month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799788 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 16:13:44 +0000 Mrsbells 2799788@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babybunnylove: Just know that going back to work is hard for every parent. Its never an easy transition. Its ok to be struggling with the balance and not have it all figured out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799638 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 10:08:35 +0000 babybunnylove 2799638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: that would be nice. However I live in a very cold weather state. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799624 Thu, 25 Jan 2018 08:13:22 +0000 irene 2799624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Take a walk in the sun. Or just get out and get under the sun. The sun takes your troubles away. That was the best advice I got when I was in a chaotic hell the first few days/weeks after child birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799456 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 13:05:01 +0000 jennlin821 2799456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two suggestions:</p> <p>1)<br /> Stop whatever you are doing.<br /> Stand up and stretch your arms up over your head, then shake out your body.<br /> Take three slow deep breaths (count of three in, count of three out)<br /> Say (out loud, if possible) "I can do this"<br /> Deep breath (count of three in, count of three out)<br /> repeat two more times</p> <p>2)<br /> Then ask yourself, what has to get done right now - ie prep for work meeting, finish writing email, etc.<br /> Only think of one thing that needs to get done, and do that. After that one thing is complete, move on to the next one.<br /> Its impossible to get everything done that you want to get done, so just do what needs to be done right now, today only.</p> <p>This is how I helped my husband get through graduate school and how I handled the really rough days of newborn and heading back to work. (and how I still handle any rough days!)</p> <p>I am a list person, so writing a list to check things off helps me 99% of the time. This little exercise I use only on the 1% day where the list is 100 items longs and impossible to accomplish anything on it and even writing the list seems overbearing. </p> <p>Good luck, we are all here for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799435 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 12:40:29 +0000 babybunnylove 2799435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the suggestions so far. I have PPD and PPA. Just went back to work after maternity leave in January and just start a new job last week. Husband works a different shift so all kid and home stuff falls on me. I’m just trying to take one hour at a time but it’s rough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799392 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 11:23:58 +0000 psw27 2799392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others about lists. I also find that writing it all down helps me, "I feel so anxious today because I have xyz to do and I'm nervous about xyz" Also, I have to go outside. When I feel anxious I need fresh air. Even 10 minutes of a quick walk outside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799385 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 11:02:31 +0000 shabang 2799385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's probably counter-intuitive, but I tell myself "Today is going to suck, but it will get better." Then, I adopt what I call the West Wing-mentality, after every task, "What's next?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799384 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 11:00:22 +0000 erinbaderin 2799384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Be kind to yourself, and take anything off your list that isn't necessary. Can you get takeout and eat it from paper plates, so you don't have to cook and clean? If you can relax when the house isn't tidy, do that. Put the kids to bed without a bath. Let anything that can wait wait. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799371 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:31:08 +0000 snowjewelz 2799371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hugs :heart: </p> <p>I def have those days. It really depends what relieves you. For me, making a list helps. When I'm REALLY anxious, I make a list of every little thing I have to do. Then checking off that list little by little made me feel good. I also de-stress by cleaning/organizing so at home I'd tell DH not to bother me so I can clean to my hearts desire. And the other part is if he can help relieve some of my stress, I'd ask him to so I have less on my plate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799368 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:26:27 +0000 yoursilverlining 2799368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. It helps me to make actual hand-written lists that break out the things I need to do into concrete, small steps. That way, even when I accomplish something small, I get to check off a box, or cross out an item, which makes things feel like they are more within my control and that I’m moving forward. Also, mindful breathing helps me when I’m feeling very anxious or having a mild anxiety attack. Mantras also help me, repeating something like: “I know I feel overwhelmed, but I am in control of my anxiety” helps me to focus again when I feel under water. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799367 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:25:40 +0000 Adira 2799367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Things that helped me was trying to limit my focus. Focus on just this day, just this hour, just these next few minutes. Trying to limit thinking about everything happening today, tomorrow, this week, this month gave me so much anxiety, so focusing on just the immediate and getting through the next few minutes, then the next few hours was key for me.</p> <p>Also, have you talked to anyone about PPA or PPD? I think my anxiety was probably more on the "normal" side and not as extreme as many people experience, so you may need to extra help. &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799366 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:24:27 +0000 lioneyes 2799366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To do lists including everything, even the small stuff (shower, get dressed, makeup). For me it’s very anxiety relieving to be able to cross stuff off and see my list of tasks decreasing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799364 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:23:38 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2799364@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Trying to stay in the moment and not jump ahead too much. I will allow myself a few minutes to make a list of things that need to get done or I’m stressing about and then move on. A walk after that also helps or get a tea or treat to just take a breath. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799359 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:19:05 +0000 Pollywog 2799359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two solutions: The first is to take a few hours of PTO and to go for a walk/run/nap. I believe mental health is super important and even a long lunch can help. The second thing is baby steps. I do the bare minimum that is essential and just focus on doing what is absolutely necessary. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helpful-suggestions#post-2799357 Wed, 24 Jan 2018 10:16:20 +0000 babybunnylove 2799357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need suggestions of how to make it through the day when you are having a bad anxiety day and you have work, meetings, kids, etc. a full schedule to handle but you don’t feel like you can do any of it but have to. </p>