https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 09 Jun 2026 17:14:10 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2733765 Tue, 09 May 2017 13:47:34 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2733765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Cereal: Aww I love this, thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2733762 Tue, 09 May 2017 13:44:36 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2733762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This might help, it has helped us... There is a book called the kissing hand. It basically has you kiss the palm of your child's hand and they kiss your and then the two of you have something to "hold onto" while you are apart. My daughter and I do this almost every day and it does seem to help her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2733744 Tue, 09 May 2017 13:05:42 +0000 littlejoy 2733744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: I know. It's hard!! On really hard mornings, I usually end up texting her teacher to see if she's ok. It'll be like 15 minutes later and she's happily playing with friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2733738 Tue, 09 May 2017 12:57:22 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2733738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I totally lost track of this post, thank you for responding! A job is a great idea. </p> <p>@littlejoy, her sleep has been fine, no issues there. I'll keep an eye on her growth, and hopefully that's it. I just feel bad that she always says she doesn't want to go, even though everyone says she has a great time once at school. </p> <p>@ALV91711, I've been trying to talk up all the fun stuff they do at school, and she just says that it's not fun and she'd rather be home. She's approaching her 4th birthday in a couple weeks, and told me today that she'll be happy when she's 4 LOL I hope it passes too, thank you!</p> <p>@Kemma, good to hear your experience thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2731680 Wed, 03 May 2017 08:57:22 +0000 looch 2731680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know this is an older post, but I just saw it and one thing that was recommended to me from a much more experienced mom was to give your child a job to do when they arrive. It could be to bring something to the director, pass out papers, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2730701 Sun, 30 Apr 2017 23:47:06 +0000 ALV91711 2730701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS is just 4 and recently says every morning before we leave that it is going to be another boring day and he'd like to stay home. </p> <p>On the way I try and talk about the fun things they will do. When we get there if he's clingy his teachers let him go to the front room and wave out the window. </p> <p>I notice they do this with a lot of kids in his class when the have clingy days. They are also good at distracting and I usually here them reassuring someone that mom/dad will be back soon. </p> <p>With all the eating maybe it is growing? I hope she passes through this clingy phase quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2730540 Sat, 29 Apr 2017 20:09:17 +0000 Kemma 2730540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My big girl is 4.5 and is just coming out the other side of a clingy phase at dropoff and I definitely think it's related to growing an an awareness that she's getting older! Miss A has been attending kindergarten and preschool / daycare for almost two years (we're in New Zealand so our kindergarten is more like your preschool) and even with a change in provider (I went back to work so she went from just morning sessions to 2.75 days of daycare each week) she was fine up until the beginning of this year.</p> <p>For her, I think the clinging has been in response to her realisation that she's not a baby any more and that she's growing up. There's been lots of talk about going to school next year and she's made big strides in her "academic" development over the last few months so clinging to me is her way of coming to terms with her growth. My girl is also big on routine so changes to the dropoff process upset her (I have to park in the same spot each time!) but we have some special hand signals that I do from the car as I'm leaving and that seems to help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2730507 Sat, 29 Apr 2017 15:44:07 +0000 littlejoy 2730507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I seriously think it's a growth spurt. How's her sleep?</p> <p>Our LO was just having a ton of issues (dropoff anxiety, peeing her pants at school (she's been potty trained for well over 1.5 years), and general unhappiness. </p> <p>I measure her each month or so (little notches on the wall), and she grew over an inch that month. I assume that had something to do with it?</p> <p>We have to keep dropoff super routine. I say, "I'll see you at 3:30! Would you like a hug? (yes or no) Ok, I love you!" and I have to leave. SOMETIMES she requests to wave to me out the front window (they are dropped off through the play yard in the back). But at that point, she's already inside and can't cling. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2730280 Fri, 28 Apr 2017 12:31:53 +0000 erinbaderin 2730280@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was like this for months, my husband would have to carry him into daycare and physically pass him off to another teacher (he's 3). What helped for us the most was having a second baby who started going to the same daycare - drop-offs did a 180 literally overnight once his brother started also going.</p> <p>You may not want to have a second child just for this purpose, though. :wink: Another thing that seems to have helped was my husband introduced a goodbye routine that lets B have some say - he decides how many goodbye hugs and how many goodbye high fives are given, which lets him delay the leaving a little bit (sometimes he needs 11 hugs) if he needs a little extra time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-4-yo-with-dropoff-anxiety#post-2730244 Fri, 28 Apr 2017 09:39:05 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2730244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kiddo is coming up on her 4th birthday in June, just for age reference. She's been with her daycare for almost 2 years, and a home daycare before that from the time she was 3 months old so she's no stranger to daycare. She usually loves going, has a great time, and was moved up to the 4 year old classroom in February because her teachers thought she's ready for an older group. According to her teachers in the 4s group, she's doing really well "academically", gets along with all the kids, eats well, naps well, etc. </p> <p>In the last couple of weeks, she has been really clingy and upset when we drop her off. She's very verbal but won't tell us if anything is bothering her. My husband does dropoff and pickup 95% of the time due to our commutes, and talked to her teachers to see if something might be happening, and they were just as puzzled. They say she's usually fine after we leave, and has a great time all day, doing well, etc. We also have a hard time picking her up in the afternoon, because she's busy with activities and doesn't want to leave so it's even more weird that she doesn't want to stay. However, she always says that she didn't have a good day when we ask her afterwards, but again, won't give us anything specific. </p> <p>I know dropoff anxiety is normal, but this is new to us so I'm wondering if there are any good tips to manage this. We do all the usual things that are recommended - we try not to linger, her teachers will help distract her, etc., and I don't have any concerns, especially after talking with her teachers, that something is going on at school that's upsetting her. We haven't had any transitions in our lives recently or anything I can think of that would bring this on suddenly. I went with them today for dropoff thinking maybe if I was there it would be easier, but that didn't help either. </p> <p>Possibly related but probably not, we have noticed that she also wants to eat a lot more than usual lately. Her teachers mentioned she usually asks for double lunch (they feed them lunch and two snacks and she has a full breakfast at home). Yesterday she inhaled 3 slices of pizza (minus crust) and a bowl of oatmeal before bed. She's a fairly small kid from birth (currently 32 lbs at almost 4 year old) so this might be a growth spurt/development thing, but coupled with the dropoff anxiety, I'm not sure if there might be something bigger? She's a super happy kid overall, sleeps well, no other issues that I can tell. </p>