https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 01:06:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883536 Tue, 07 May 2019 08:51:11 +0000 babycanuck 2883536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaBear87: Thank you for this!</p> <p>@graceandjoy: He can never give me a real reason why. He wouldn't do marriage therapy either years ago when I wanted to go, so I went for myself. He comes from a family that doesn't really talk much, and doesn't understand mental illness or what it means to get help. </p> <p>@jape14: Thank you for your perspective on this - definitely a lot of great points for me to think about.</p> <p>@muffinsmuffins: &lt;3 Thank you</p> <p>@wrkbrk: &lt;3 &lt;3</p> <p>@Littlebit7: Thank you! I'll look into it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883479 Mon, 06 May 2019 19:40:06 +0000 Littlebit7 2883479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If he won’t go see a therapist maybe an app like talkspace could be a compromise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883478 Mon, 06 May 2019 19:36:15 +0000 wrkbrk 2883478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Following. Not at all the same, but I need ideas to help my friend who just lost her husband to a freak accident. She’s needless to say in a depressed state. I am at a loss of what to do.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883451 Mon, 06 May 2019 15:39:02 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2883451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with supplements, especially vitamin D. I see a naturopath who has helped with mood stuff including some breathing/meditation techniques. Even an app like Calm or trying journaling could be helpful. I know there are some self care books I think I saw on HB before like the anxiety toolkit. CBD oil can also help.</p> <p>It was myself who struggled with anxiety/depression and ultimately therapy was the most helpful. I was willing because I was overwhelmed and I didn’t know where to start... and I didn’t want to pile my crap on DW any longer. It was so incredibly helpful. I think @jape14 makes a good point about it not being about him and only his decision to make. It’s not fair for him to not seek help when this is negatively affecting you all. I would try supplements, books and meditation but I would also not hesitate to eventually present an ultimatum if it’s not improving or if he won’t do any of the above. Also just so you know, it’s not on you to make him better so don’t feel like you need to shoulder that on top of your own worries :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883439 Mon, 06 May 2019 14:06:31 +0000 jape14 2883439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband was in a not great place after our second was born - he was in the process of switching jobs, had a lot of work stress, and we had two little ones. He's always struggled with anxiety/depression to some degree, and basically life circumstances made it so the things he usually did to cope weren't working or he didn't have enough time to do them (e.g., exercise, sleep). I think part of the problem with not wanting to seek help is that when you have anxiety/depression issues, it's just another thing to add to the list that already seems overwhelming. I basically gave my husband an ultimatum and told him we could go to marriage counseling together, or he could see someone on his own. I researched places that accepted our insurance (making sure to find providers with the ability to prescribe meds) and gave him a list, so all he had to do was call and go to the appointment. </p> <p>It might sound harsh, but refusing to seek help when it's needed and you have a family to think about is ultimately a selfish decision. My husband went, saw someone, and eventually got medicated and it made a world of difference. He's really happy and wished he had done it sooner, which made me glad I spoke up even though it wasn't easy and caused some tension between us to start. I totally understand wanting to tread lightly while your husband is grieving, but it sounds like he could really use the help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883428 Mon, 06 May 2019 12:51:16 +0000 graceandjoy 2883428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does he have a reason why he doesn't want to go talk to someone about it? Grief is a very real thing and grief counseling can really do wonders. Maybe even just a grief support group? Could you also use LO (and you) as a motivator? Pitching it so he can be fully present and be there for his family instead of just constantly only having part of him, on top of worrying about him constantly? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883427 Mon, 06 May 2019 12:42:49 +0000 MamaBear87 2883427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is he open to taking some supplements? </p> <p>My husband gets seasonal depression (ironically in the summer because we live in Phoenix) </p> <p>He takes vitamin d and just recently started 5-htp to help combat it even more. Both seem to help quite a bit and you don't need to see a doctor to get them </p> <p>We're also really open about it to each other and he knows he can talk to me about feeling down. Sometimes it's issues pertaining to us and I've had to really make sure that I can be a bit neutral when he needs me to be rather than getting defensive </p> <p>Photo attached of exactly what he's taking as there are several, some of them have a ton of extra stuff I wasn't totally sold on but this one works great (inistrol the other ingredient is also fantastic for anxiety and depression) </p> [attach=6228/19/pr3fvd.300x600.Screenshot_20190506-103947.png] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-deal-with-being-in-a-funklowdepressed#post-2883426 Mon, 06 May 2019 12:22:25 +0000 babycanuck 2883426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Back story:<br /> In October, my hubby's best friend died unexpectedly. He was 38, running a somewhat successful business, leaving behind his fiance, her two teenage boys, and their 3 year old daughter.</p> <p>It hit my husband really hard. He's been in a depression ever since. On top of that, some major issues with his dad (us not speaking with him anymore because he's a piece of work, to put it kindly), I don't know what I can do to help get him out of his funk.</p> <p>Nicer weather is definitely helping. I wanted to plan something for his 40th birthday (next year) and he told me last night he doesn't want me to because his friend won't be there. I completely respect that. However, the man won't go talk to a therapist or anyone else, he never goes out with friends anymore (though talks to them all daily), and I want to do something to help raise his spirits.</p> <p>Has anyone dealt with their partner being in a bad place, and not wanting to get help? Any ideas of what I can do?</p> <p>I'm feeling pretty lost :( I've always been in a mild depression/anxiety but I take something to help me cope. My son also helps me keep going, because he's my world. I wasn't sure where else to ask. I can't ask his mother anything, and I don't want to say anything to his friends. </p>