https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 28 May 2026 08:37:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839587 Tue, 14 Aug 2018 07:49:14 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2839587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Those are great tips! I do that with her, but after this post, it was interesting to observe how DH interacts with her, and it was really noticeable (I can't believe I didn't see it before!) He's definitely more eager to please rather than focusing on the structure, so I have some great tips if he finds himself struggling with her again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839537 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 20:21:49 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2839537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: While I agree kids respond differently to different people and can be on their best behavior until they warm off I have two suggestions for you. 1. recently, I started asking LO if he understands what I am asking of him (@Looch mentioned doing that in a reply to a thread) and it totally changed things. I repeat myself left and sometimes LO will answer he doesn’t understand and it allows me the opportunity to communicate better with him. 2. Broadcast the routine. Even though LO’s routine stays fairly the same I am constantly sharing and reminding him of what comes next. It keeps us moving. “Good morning, let’s change your diaper and clothes. Then we will go downstairs and eat breakfast, etc” When one action is done the prompts change, but keep going until we arrive at daycare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839525 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 19:44:08 +0000 wrkbrk 2839525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Dude our son is different for each of us. No idea why but it’s clearly the case! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839444 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 14:24:57 +0000 erinbaderin 2839444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had the exact same experience - my husband always does the mornings, he went to England for a week and it was all on me, and I didn’t have any of the problems he complains about with getting them to finish their breakfasts, put their shoes on, etc. I assumed it was a combination of they react to us differently and just the novelty of the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839440 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 14:17:32 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2839440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrswin: I think this is spot on, actually (and to the others' points about rigidity). I'm pretty on task to get out the door, whereas I think DH is much more lax, even for himself, so I think he has way more transitions to manage than I probably let her have. I'm also more directive than he is, usually, so that probably helps. </p> <p>@chuckles: your story made me LOL so hard! That's exactly how DH and LO are. I always think I'm the "un-fun" parent, but maybe this is evidence to why we get out of the house faster LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839412 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 13:09:06 +0000 mrswin 2839412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Haha what you described us exactly what happens every morning in our house. My SO tells me how uncooperative she is in the morning and how it takes so long and that’s why they are perpetually late for school. I never have the same issues with her when I take her periodically. Here’s what the difference is for us:<br /> 1. Momma’s home so there is some level of novelty<br /> 2. My SO allows her to make too many decision lol (she’s 3) whereas I limit what the choices are. For example I have a complete outfit picked out for her before I get her from bed whereas he allows her to pick. I prep the majority of her breakfast before I get her up and maybe give her a choice between two pieces of fruit once she is at the table. We go to the washroom and get our clothes on right away while he lets her stay in her PJs until after she eats.<br /> 3. He likes to have fun so there is more play/distraction<br /> 4. He only functions at 70% before his coffee kicks in :silly:<br /> Ultimately we do the same steps in a slightly different order so while the routine is the same it take him much longer because he allows her more control and they goof around. He has gotten much better since I pointed this out to him on a rare morning when we were both home getting her ready to get out the door. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839408 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:51:22 +0000 Chuckles 2839408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do they typically get through other routines/activities more easily than how the morning went? Does your DD listen to you and your DH equally in other situations or is one parent the person who keeps everyone on track or deals with misbehavior? (these questions are coming from my family's experience with my DS taking much longer and being less willing to move easily through a routine with my DH than with me)<br /> ETA: is your husband more likely to get sucked into fun and games than you are? Case in point: the other night my DH was doing bedtime. I had told him that DS was really tired so they should get through bedtime asap before he melted down. After awhile I went upstairs to check on them and they were *playing bongos on each other's butts* and having laughing fits for like 10 minutes. It's so cute, but then when DH tried to shift things back to the routine, DS is all confused, like, why isn't it playtime anymore? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839405 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:47:51 +0000 PawPrints 2839405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with everyone else, she probably responded to the fact that something was different (you instead of DH). Last night my in-laws put DD to bed and she was much easier to get through the routine than she is with us. It happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839402 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:45:12 +0000 hitchhiker 2839402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with Mediagirl that it's probably at least partially due to a novel routine. But, do you think there's any chance that he's distracted during the usual morning routine? I am also the morning parent, and I find that on the mornings I'm more distracted (by the news, work, whatever), the kids are more distracted, too. I also wonder how rigid he is about the routine? I basically make my kids move from bed to breakfast to dressing to hair &amp; teeth pretty rigidly, and then let them play after they are done. (And I regularly remind them that getting ready faster means more play and the natural consequence of dragging feet is less or no play). If I get wiggly about allowing play in between steps, it gets ugly fast. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839401 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:45:05 +0000 Mrsbells 2839401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: kids do that all the time; respond differently to a different parent. When I am the regular person to pick them up from school they give me a hard time but run to DH when he arrives and vice versa </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839400 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:43:26 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2839400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Great point, didn't even consider that. She's starting K in 2 weeks so there's going to be change there too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839399 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:41:04 +0000 psw27 2839399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Strange. I agree with @mediagirl: it is the change to routine that made her more cooperative. It is the same as when a babysitter tells me that my son laid right down for a nap and didn't fight at all. I think its just about routine and also knowing what they can get away with with certain people. (Not that I think your husband is letting her get away with things, just kids push buttons of their usual routine providers). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839397 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:36:56 +0000 mediagirl 2839397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: my guess is she was better for you because it's not her normal routine. I bet if you went on like that for a couple weeks, she would have the same issues with you. </p> <p>I wonder if she will be a little better this week with Daddy back in town after being away? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/helping-dh-with-am-routine#post-2839394 Mon, 13 Aug 2018 12:07:44 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2839394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I spent the last week solo parenting my 5 year old while DH was traveling for work. This is a rare occurrence for him, so this was a rare occasion for me to be on my own with my daughter and something interesting happened and I'm curious about what to do with it.</p> <p>DH and I both WOH, and because of our schedules and commutes, I leave for work before LO is up, and then I leave work earlier to pick her up from school. DH gets up with me, showers and gets ready, and then wakes up our daughter and gets her ready. If she doesn't wake up by herself by 7:45ish, he wakes her, and usually they leave the house around 9-9:15. On a pretty regular basis I hear from DH about how hard LO is to wake up, how she doesn't want to get out of bed, how she wants to play instead of eating breakfast, etc. Mornings just seem to be rough for him and her both. </p> <p>Well, I saw none of that this week. At all. I woke LO up at 7:30 every day, and she got up pretty easily within 10 minutes of me waking her up. By 8 AM she was at the table eating breakfast. I did have to nudge her to keep eating, because she gets distracted easily, but that's typical for her. We were out the door by 8:30 every day with no issues of any kind. </p> <p>I don't doubt that my husband does have these troubles with her, but I'm really not sure why we had some disparate experiences. I told him about this and he asked me for a full rundown of what I did, so I told him, and it doesn't seem very different from what he does. I might have just gotten lucky, but I would really hate for them to go back to their rougher dynamic once we're back to our old routine when he's back. He's not resistant to change at all, so I'm sure he'll try to replicate whatever I did (even though it's not different from what he does), and he's a pretty calm, laid back guy, so I can't figure out why our experiences are so different. I also realize kids react differently to different parents, but our daughter spends time with us pretty equally and we're both very hands on, equal duty parents, so I don't know if that's the case here at all. </p> <p>Any thoughts/ideas/suggestions? </p>