https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Jul 2026 08:37:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094785 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 12:01:47 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1094785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, as a twin parent, let me quickly be devil's advocate and say that twin PREGNANCY can be wicked scary. Much scarier, in fact, than actually being a twin PARENT. You hear horror stories, everyone comments that your life is over, you'll never sleep, how they can't remember a single thing from their twins first year, etc. You spend endless hours calculating the budget to figure out how the heck you're going to pay for two of everything, from NICU bills to daycare. You worry about where to put them in the house, how to go to the grocery store, and if you'll ever be able to leave the house with your kids without your spouse. Add to that, you're super worried at every given moment that something will go terribly wrong and you'll lose one or both, have them super early, or be on bed rest for months. It's easy to not be full of joy because you're just so #$%@ scared about everything, even when there is nothing in the world you want more than those two little babies to safely be in your arms. Then you feel super guilty for not "feeling" as excited as everyone expects you to be. </p> <p>I can understand how in your fearful and overwhelmed state that you could not do a proper job conveying that what you're really trying to say, which I hope is, "I'm scared and afraid that by not feeling excited yet something's wrong with me, and I really need someone to tell me that this is going to be okay."</p> <p>That said . . . I hate pretty much everything about this article. </p> <p>I love having twins, even though it's incredibly challenging and exhausting. Our twins were absolutely a surprise as they were spontaneous, but never once during my pregnancy did I wish either of my children away; in fact, I fervently prayed daily, if not hourly, that each of these little people inside me would keep growing and developing exactly as they should, that they would stay inside me as long as possible, and that they would come home with us quickly. Never once did I not "like" my unborn babies. I fiercely loved them, which further fueled my fear that something would go wrong or that having two at the same time would keep me from giving them all the love, attention, and time I knew they deserved. To say that having twins is ruining your family makes me die a little inside; my twins are the best, most unexpected, perfect thing that has ever happened to my "family." If they hate what has happened to their family so much and they are so resentful about their twin boys, I'll be happy to find them one of the millions of couples that would gladly take on the ups and downs of having twins. Heck, I'll take them myself; the more the merrier!</p> <p>I'll be honest that I kind of hated my twin pregnancy (but never my twins) because I was just so worried all the time and felt horrible, but I think there's nothing better in the world than being parents to twins. I hope these people get it together, but I have to say I worry about one or both of those twin boys growing up a clear object of resentment. I hope they learn to love and cherish the unique gift of being twin parents. </p> <p> I liked this post written in response and shared in the comments:<br /> <a href="http://dearmollyandmaddy.com/2013/05/12/in-response-to-albert/" rel="nofollow">http://dearmollyandmaddy.com/2013/05/12/in-response-to-albert/</a></p> <p>Novella over.</p> <p>ETA: I just saw these articles are 4-months old! I was clearly too busy being in love with my 2-month old twins at that point to see this post. The sleep deprivation might have been a factor, too. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094355 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 09:20:13 +0000 pui 1094355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>These people strike me as the type who look at everything the worst way possible. After suffering through infertility, 4 IUIs amd spending thousands of dollars you'd think they'd be at least a little happy to be pregnant, even though they are going to have a harder (but totally survivable) newborn stage. But no, they're even more miserable now. You reap what your sow.</p> <p>I can understand being scared knowing that having twins is not going to be a walk in the park, in fact it's going to be hard, but c'mon. Show a fragment of gratefulness and joy over what you have overcome. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094334 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 09:10:12 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1094334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: oh man. To be honest, I find her article more disturbing than his :sad: </p> <p>The weird thing I got from reading these: I think they gave me hope to have another! O_O it was bad, but it was never THAT bad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094293 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 09:00:58 +0000 Pink Champagne 1094293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I can see how someone reading this from an infertility standpoint would be shocked, appalled and enraged by this, I feel this is a rather tongue-in-cheek way to voice some brutally honest opinions that he and his wife shared. And actually, I have a friend who had twins through IVF who felt VERY much the same way when they found out they were having twins. You cannot fault someone for sharing these feelings, because while most of us would suck it up and move on past those initial feelings of being overwhelmed, some people choose to dwell in them and focus on the negative things they see coming.<br /> And look, the negativity in the article stems completely from the fact that the couple hated the newborn stage with a passion. Not everyone is ok with the newborn stage. I didn't mind it- my husband? He HATED it. Is dreading it again for our next baby. Would probably agree very strongly with this article about the "fear of the known".<br /> Anyway, like I said, I see how people could be hurt by this, but I think it's more of a case of putting a tongue in cheek spin on airing some (more common than you might think) thoughts that are not so popular to air. There was a similar article about a mom talking about her regrets stemming from quitting her job to be a stay at home mom. Again, common thoughts, but so taboo to share because we're all supposed to just talk about the wonder, marvel and joy that being a parent is- we're not supposed to share about the times we think it sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094285 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:58:36 +0000 Adira 1094285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel so sad for their child and future children... :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094278 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:54:11 +0000 SugarplumsMom 1094278@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started reading it thinking that the author has every right to freak out and complain. Then I read about the "the free one" comment. Wth ... what a lovely man, his wife must be so proud. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094262 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:50:03 +0000 MrsKoala 1094262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: Yes, this is the part that bothered me so much. If you want your child to have a companion, buy a puppy. There is nothing wrong with only having one child! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1094238 Wed, 18 Sep 2013 08:41:14 +0000 irene 1094238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While this is ridiculous, I do appreciate his honesty.</p> <p>I am not going to state the obvious (that why would they go through IVF knowing full well they could get boys and may even be triplets...etc. while living in a 1 bedroom apartment, and these babies are not guaranteed healthy), I hope they find their peace and love for their twin sons, soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1093356 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 18:25:23 +0000 Vegmama 1093356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, SO sad. I am sorry that we all read that. </p> <p>On a refreshing note: when I was 12 weeks pregnant, we were flying home from a family visit, and a guy next to me noticed my book and offered his congrats about the baby. He &amp; his wife had 6 month old twins (from IVF) at home, and he told us what a joy parenting was for them. He said it was really hard at first (which I'm sure it is), but once you're through that, it's such an awesome experience. It was awesome, and I thanked him for his words. </p> <p>Now, this guy ... yeah, it's really sad to me. I feel sorry for his children. Why would you GO THROUGH SO MUCH FOR IF YOU DIDN'T WANT MORE CHILDREN?!?! I feel like this is either a joke (which I know it's not), or a seriously troubled marriage (ie: "Babe, if we have ONE MORE baby, it will save our marriage!") ... Just no communication, and two people who are obviously damaged. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1092670 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 13:02:26 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 1092670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Modern Daisy: I will happily take their children!!! ;-) I can't even imagine having these feelings. I would be so grateful to have one baby, let alone three children... Hopefully the article is just to get a rise out of people?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1092630 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:52:24 +0000 Mrsbells 1092630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think he sounds very worried and afraid and I hope for the kids sake that once they get past the newborn stage they will come around. I dont understand his anger about the 1 bedroom apartment though, what was stopping them from moving to a bigger place prior to trying for baby number 2? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1092618 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:49:49 +0000 wonderstruck 1092618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>And the wife wrote a post too, which is pretty awful too: <a href="http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/expecting-twins-ruined-my-family/" rel="nofollow">http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/expecting-twins-ruined-my-family/</a></p> <p>The quote that really got me? "We still wanted another child — a sibling for our son, mind you, not so much for us." Um, what? You're not doing your son a favor by having a baby that you don't want! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1092578 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:38:18 +0000 SweetiePie 1092578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Oh no, don't be! I was actually glad I found it and was able to voice my opinion, since the original post was before my membership :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1092529 Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:26:16 +0000 mediagirl 1092529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: I'm sorry you found it and it brought up these feelings again. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1091015 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 18:31:42 +0000 meganmp 1091015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: They look like they have rubber bands around their wrists. :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1091009 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 18:30:04 +0000 autumnlove 1091009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meganmp: Pudgy hands! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1091003 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 18:27:11 +0000 meganmp 1091003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got interviewed by a local news station about my reaction to that article.</p> <p><a href="http://www.komonews.com/news/health/Parents-say-they-regret-In-vitro-twins-stir-up-controversy--222991161.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.komonews.com/news/health/Parents-say-they-regret-In-vitro-twins-stir-up-controversy--222991161.html</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1090912 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 17:34:58 +0000 dc yoga bee 1090912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm seriously waiting for him to come back and be like, "Ha! Gotcha, just kidding." Like a troll or something? Because no one can willingly fork over that kind of money, know you may have multiples, know your first baby was difficult and apparently scarred you for life, and know that you will still be in a 1BR apt, and then write this??? Nah, not buying it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-1090907 Mon, 16 Sep 2013 17:26:51 +0000 SweetiePie 1090907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh!!!! I have been combing the IVF boards this afternoon since I learned today its a likely route for us, and came across this. DH sent me this article back when it came out, and we had only had one miscarriage at that point. It made both of us SEETHE with anger. Disgusting human beings. Every single thing they are complaining about is the result of a decision they made. I just can't even....<br /> I just had to add my two cents, since this thread was right before my HB membership. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753376 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:43:24 +0000 spaniellove 753376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If they were that strongly against twins, why did it not occur to them to only transfer one embryo? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753227 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:22:09 +0000 HLK208 753227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoJoGirl: most likely :-/</p> <p>That is completely ridiculous. Yes, parenting is hard but the rewards and love for your child is greater! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753211 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:14:53 +0000 fairefaire 753211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Seriously? What a fucking douchebag. (Am I allowed to say that on hellobee? If not... my apologies. But it totally applies). </p> <p>Everyone knows that multiples are a higher possibility when you're going through ART procedures, particularly IVF. I have no doubts their clinic made them sign paperwork stating they understood that (I know mine has, and that's just for IUI). </p> <p>How horrible for those children to have such assholes for parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753182 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:02:02 +0000 googly-eyes 753182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is really sad. Those poor babies, I hope the parents come around. I can imagine how terrified they must be since their first had colic. And I can sort of relate because we will be having #2 more for #1 than ourselves...but I still can't say at 5 months pregnant we'd be DISLIKING the poor babies. Wonder what happened for them to go all the way to ivf and then have such a bad attitude. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753076 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:28:10 +0000 hellobeeboston 753076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, just, wow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753003 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:06:58 +0000 MamaMoose 753003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>WHY did they even want more kids?! It doesn't sound like they very much like the one they have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-753000 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:06:47 +0000 Modern Daisy 753000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, they should just cut their losses and give the children up for adoption. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-752985 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:01:15 +0000 ShootingStar 752985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That article kind of made me sick. Especially this line, "My wife and I even both privately admitted that we don't like the new children..." You don't like your unborn children?!? They aren't even here yet. So many people would fall down on the ground and thank heaven for twins and yet those poor babies are going home to parents that don't even want them. They should be ashamed of themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-752978 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:57:22 +0000 swedishfish 752978@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me really mad. It's too bad there's not some sort of screening test in order to become parents. I put in two embryos and knew and accepted the possibilities of a multiples pregnancy. I was heartbroken when I lost one of the babies. I am starting to seethe so I think I will go for my walk now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-752968 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:55:23 +0000 PointeShoesTutus 752968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>"This time around, we're counting down -- not like expecting parents but like cancer patients with only months to live."</p> <p>Seriously?!? </p> <p>And then there is this gem:<br /> "As horrible as this might sound, we found ourselves wishing these twins away."</p> <p>This whole article just makes me rage. Why in the world would you do another round of IVF? </p> <p>I must back away before I start really ranting. What is wrong with some people?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hey-lets-try-ivf-get-pregnant-with-twins-then-complain-about-it#post-752953 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:49:46 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 752953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: I completely agree. </p>