https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 14:36:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379532 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 17:00:34 +0000 Jennibenni 2379532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sapphire: @hony bologna: @Baby Boy Mom: Thanks for the replies! I can definitely see how being mobile would make him more content to be on his own. I hope that's the case! I just put him on his play mat so I could go pee and he was wailing before I got to the bathroom. Sigh. It's been a hard couple of days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379527 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 16:51:54 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2379527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My experience has been very similar to @looch: . My four year old still always wants to be on the go, will ask for someone to play with him, etc. it's just the way he is and the best thing was just adjusting our expectations. (The second best thing we did was giving him a brother ;) ). It's ok to feel like you can't get anything done, I certainly couldn't for most of his first year of life, and even now have trouble sometimes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379505 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 16:17:12 +0000 hony bologna 2379505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds just like my daughter (now 15 months)! I felt like I was walking on eggshells for many months because nothing I did seemed to make her happy, and yet when she was happy, she was very much so, just like your LO. She couldn't just be held, she had to be held in JUST the right way at the right angle on the right shoulder by the right person. I think it may largely be a personality thing; I know and have read about other babies being like this and they just seem to be more intense and perfectionistic than average. They have very specific ideas about how they want things to be and complain long and loudly when they are not that way!</p> <p>For us, things got better very gradually, not overnight. I remember around 7 months being the point where I thought it was starting to get more enjoyable than not. I will echo others' comments that it got considerably better once she was on the move. She's still quite high-need, but because she can also express so much more now, it's much more interactive and enjoyable. She's so sweet and lovely and trusting of me despite her intensity and I feel like all my hard work from the early days is paying off. I hope things improve for you soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379337 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 13:43:53 +0000 sapphire 2379337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni: although overall I do t feel my LO was especially difficult, there was a hard phase between 5-6 months when she could t completely sit unsupported and she was fraud rated that she fell over and yet also could t move while on her tummy. Right around 7 months she started sitting well and learned to crawl at the same time. She has been SO excited that she can move on her own. So getting to that stage may very well help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379320 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 13:19:42 +0000 Jennibenni 2379320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@knittylady: Thank you, this gives me hope. It's not dramatic at all, actually I burst into tears when I read that part because so many people have told me how the swing/rock n play/bumbo seat etc saved their lives and they could put baby in it and go about getting things done and that just never happens for me! </p> <p>Thanks all for commenting on the food intolerances! In my case we did an elimination diet for months with no result but as of now the colic seems to be behind us and reflux is under control. Baby is happy as long as he is being held and entertained and kept moving. It's just exhausting and I don't feel like I have my shit together any more now than I did when he was a newborn. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379309 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 13:07:10 +0000 LovelyPlum 2379309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: sending you so much :heart: as well. You're really in the thick of it there. It will get better-hang in there!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379305 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 13:01:48 +0000 LovelyPlum 2379305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our story is similar to @MrsSRS: in that we had to address food intolerance (MSPI and beef) before she got better. It is so, so hard. Once we did that between 3-4 months, things improved dramatically.</p> <p>Hang in there. Colic is so, so hard :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379277 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 11:17:31 +0000 knittylady 2379277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It gets better. Promise. DS1 was very high needs and I never got it when other moms would refer to putting babies in a swing or r'n'p so they could shower or cook dinner. I just didn't get to do either of those things without DH home! It got a lot better once he was mobile, around 6/7 months - he started to crawl. I think @Cherrybee: put it perfectly - DS hated being a baby and couldn't wait to be a toddler!</p> <p>He's now 2.5 and is in such an amazing and sweet phase. He is very verbally advanced and is loving life. :) FWIW I got pregnant when DS was 6 months old (!!) and baby #2 was a breeze - and not just in comaprison. Not to be too dramatic, but it was very healing to be able to understand the things other moms had talked about that I didn't experience with DS1. (i.e. quick showers, cooking dinner while baby plays, etc.,) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379270 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 10:55:40 +0000 runnerd 2379270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: this has been our experience with LO (16 months). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379266 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 10:41:13 +0000 gingerbebe 2379266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni: I think around this age we started instituting 10-15 of independent playtime in his PNP with toys and music on. Yes he cried as first but we started at 5 minutes and we would come back and lavish him with love and attention and slowly increased as he tolerated it. It gave me time to get dressed or pee or something and then slowly we increased to the point where he got 30 minutes a day by 1 year. At some point we set an egg timer and we would come cheering out of the woodwork when it went off to positively reinforce his ability to play by himself. We just make sure he's completely safe and we are in earshot but out of sight. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379262 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 10:30:31 +0000 looch 2379262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was like this as a baby, and believe it or not, he's still like this at 5 years old. He just likes to be around people and he loves interaction. I used to walk him around for hours and he's still happiest when we're in motion. The kid does not like to be bored.</p> <p>So, it didn't get better, it just got different and I learned to adjust my expectations. So much of it is personality! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379251 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 10:10:47 +0000 Rockies11 2379251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni mine was high needs in that she always needed to be held all the time and wasn't happy in anything at all. She is 2.5 and is still like that. I have an almost 8 month old who is not like that at all - she can play on her own for hours in anything. I would ask the doctor at every appointment when her neediness was going to get better and she would say it could be a personality trait. And after 2.5 years, I have accepted that it is and don't even try to get anything done anymore. Not to be a huge downer or anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379228 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 09:09:53 +0000 Cherrybee 2379228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni: Sending huge hugs. It DOES get better. E also hated the door bouncer but loved the jumperoo for some reason. I hope the walker helps. Have you tried wearing your LO facing outwards? E used to enjoy walks facing out, where she could look at everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379226 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 09:09:05 +0000 Jennibenni 2379226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: Thank you for the response! I am nursing, but we did an elimination diet for months and it didn't have any noticeable effect except on my milk supply. The reflux and colic are both much better as of the last few weeks, but he is just not content for the most part unless he is held and played with. And of course I love holding him and playing with him but it's exhausting when I can't leave him in a spot for more than two minutes without a meltdown and we can't really go anywhere for the same reasons. I guess I thought/hoped when the colic was better that he would also be more easygoing but that hasn't been the case so far.<br /> @MrsADS: I'm so sorry! I've cried more in the last five months than in the last five years combined, it's so much harder than I imagined. I hope you and your little guy get some relief soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379225 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 09:01:59 +0000 MrsADS 2379225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DS is 3.5 months with severe reflux and food intolerance/protein intolerance and it is so hard. He's on Nexium, Zantac, and Carafate. I'm on an elimination diet (he is EBF)- no dairy, soy, nuts, gluten, seafood, corn, tomatoes, cocoa/chocolate. And even with that he's miserable. The last 4 days he's been awake from 6pm to 11:30 pm screaming in pain and vomiting. He'll fall asleep for 10 minutes and wake up, lots of crying, then vomiting. So he's uncomfortable. He doesn't sleep a lot so he's overtired and just cries a lot during the day. Honestly I am in the same boat. It's so hard. I'm exhausted and I cry a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379211 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 08:33:49 +0000 SweetCaroline 2379211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennibenni: I'm sorry! You're doing so great mama! I would check into a food intolerance. I'm not sure if you are BF or FF, but would you be interested in trying either an elimination diet or hypoallergenic formula (like Alimentum)? For us, it made a world of difference. Dairy or soy, even corn might be something to take a look at. Our DD has an intolerance to corn, which is in MANY foods (and thus my breastmilk) and in EVERY baby formula except Alimentum. Obviously dairy and soy are prevalent in both as well.</p> <p>Best of luck! It will get better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379209 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 08:25:07 +0000 Jennibenni 2379209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks all for the responses! I don't think I was very clear in my original post but I don't think at this point the problem is colic/reflux, etc. We seem to be past all that but he is just high maintenance in that he always needs a lot of direct attention, holding, soothing, etc. It seems like I can't put him down! He likes to be moving, so the car seat and stroller and someone's arms are fine as long as we are in motion. God forbid we get stuck in traffic! </p> <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: I can relate! Our friends with a baby can just set him down anywhere and he will literally hang out for HOURS. They always want to go to events and restaurants because they can't understand that our baby has zero chill haha. Last time we went somewhere with them hubby and I took turns fast walking our LO around and around the block.<br /> @gingerbebe: Thank you! He's been on Prevacid since 2 months and it definitely is better than Zantac. I think at this point it's more a personality thing, like he just wants/needs constant direct interaction and attention and I can never just put him down and let him hang out, and he's not happy sitting still in the stroller or anywhere else.<br /> @Cherrybee: We have a door jumper but he doesn't tolerate it any better than anything else. Grandma is buying him a walker like you're talking about for Christmas and I kind of have my hopes pinned on that lol.<br /> @lamariniere: He's not a good napper and I think that's what makes it harder too. Once I can finally get him to sleep for a nap there's no way to know if it will be twenty minutes or a glorious hour so I'm always kind of on edge waiting for him to wake up. He's always been a pretty good night time sleeper though, so I don't understand the crap naps! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379196 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 07:41:47 +0000 lamariniere 2379196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was high needs until about 6 months. He finally started napping around 6 months (before, he would do like a 20min cat nap for the whole day and then still wake up a ton at night). But his sleep was still horrible until just after a year. The best thing I did for myself during that time was finally accepting that he was difficult and not try to change him or force him on to a schedule. Once he hit 1 and was really walking, it was like he transformed into a different person. He was finally STTN and became a really lovely, easy little boy. It's tough, but it will get better in time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379188 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 07:03:48 +0000 autumn865 2379188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh no I know it's hard :( DD2 was colic until roughly 3.5 months but even when the severe colic symptoms had passed she was still just a total grump! She wouldn't cry but would whine ALL. THE. TIME. Things changed drastically around 7/8ish months when she started army crawling then crawling. It was like she was a new baby and her little happy personality flourished. Now at 10 months she's happy to crawl/ cruise around a room and play. She's like a little person and just so much calmer :) she was never a cuddly baby either :( but now she is getting more affectionate and will crawl into my lap for hugs and kisses. It makes my heart burst because 6 months ago I never would have imagined this baby. Hang in there! I guess some babies just don't like being babies and are just happier when they can actually move and do things! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379184 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 06:37:02 +0000 Cherrybee 2379184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds really familiar. I remember a thread I started on here titled "why is my baby always miserable?". We used to say that E hated being a baby. She hated lying down, hated the playmat, hated being held. She wouldn't even be held to be fed, preferring to sit in her bouncy seat, facing me, while I held the bottle in her mouth. </p> <p>It all changed at 5 months when she was finally big enough to the jumperoo (just). She loved that thing! Then my inlaws bought her a walker (like a jumperoo on wheels) to use at their home. I know some people say they are dangerous but she loved the freedom it gave her. But if she wasn't in either of those, she was unhappy. </p> <p>The, finally, when she learned to crawl, that's when she started being happy. We still couldn't enjoy a meal out because she just wanted to get out of the seat and explore but, in the main, she was a happy girl finally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379164 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 02:50:11 +0000 gracecat 2379164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds so rough, I'm so sorry! For what it's worth, I don't think most babies let their parents cook dinner or do their hair, even the low maintenance ones! For us, things started to feel more manageable around 1 year... but of course it's different for all babies/families. Can you get a sitter once in a while to get a break? Sounds like you could use one regularly... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379153 Sun, 06 Dec 2015 01:11:14 +0000 HLK208 2379153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest was a high maintenance baby and 5/6 months was a really hard time for me. Once he started eating solid food, he improved though. Finally by 9-12 months it started getting easier. And the toddler years were great. So hopefully you get a break soon! I'm sorry it's been hard :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379132 Sat, 05 Dec 2015 23:20:55 +0000 gingerbebe 2379132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Colic was better by 3.5 months but reflux lasted until 5.5-6 months. Prevacid was the game changer - we did probiotics and Zantac and I was on a total elimination diet with Gerber gentle to supplement but Prevacid really helped when Zantac quit working. We never went out either but sleep training really helped us get a break because he would take naps at certain times of day. We set up the pack n play and jumparoo and stations all around the house we would rotate him around and took him on stroller walks (he wanted the real stroller seat and not the car seat insert). Music kept him distracted so we had that playing all the time. Hated being worn but would tolerate it if facing forward so we got an Ergo360. We got him the IKEA high chair bc it fits small babies well and had him hang out with toys while I cooked dinner quickly. We also started solids early to help the reflux so the tiny feeding a killed a lot of time during the day (it would take like 20-30 mins to eat 2 tablespoons!). By 6 months we could give him a mum mum to keep him a bit occupied. Hang in there - he was really wonderful by 8 months, although always a bit sensitive and easily overstimulated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379127 Sat, 05 Dec 2015 23:05:27 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2379127@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us it was pretty much the whole first year. He is 2 now and I think he is strong willed and demanding but it's so much easier to deal with. Being able to communicate with him better has been huge for us, he's also become a great sleeper over the past year. </p> <p>It's so hard, I think back to our first family vacation when he was 8 months old and is literally walk 7-8 miles each day with him in the stroller to keep him happy. My nephew who was also on the vacation would just chill in the pack and play and go along for the ride. I couldn't understand why our child was never relaxed and happy. But things change so much when they are young- my nephew doesn't have as strong of communication skills as my son at 2 yrs so he's now more challenging. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379126 Sat, 05 Dec 2015 23:00:56 +0000 Winterbee15 2379126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry you're going through this. I can totally relate to feeing like you can't go do anything/get anything done without him fussing. DS really turned a corner at 6 months (had colic &amp; reflux). It sort of seemed like it happened overnight! I didn't change anything, I think once he got more mobile that helped? I felt like he was never going to change and it was HARD. I hope he gets better soon for you! Sometimes singing to DS would help. I can recall singing itsy bitsy spider over and over just to get bottles washed :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379124 Sat, 05 Dec 2015 22:50:48 +0000 MrsSRS 2379124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh you poor dear. Our son improved before that, but not until we addressed a food allergy. Some of my friends have kids who really chilled out once they were more mobile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/high-maintenance-baby-when-does-it-get-better#post-2379123 Sat, 05 Dec 2015 22:47:25 +0000 Jennibenni 2379123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is just over five months old and we are still struggling. He was a colicky, reflux newborn and is still just very high needs. He doesn't tolerate anything (being worn, swing/bouncer/playmat/etc. for more than a couple of minutes at a time, and he wants to be held and be on the move constantly. I feel like I still spend all my time bopping him around and trying to keep him entertained. When he is happy he is so happy but he gets fussy easily. I dread the grocery store and other errands because I have to try and race through before he starts crying. I can never just sit and cuddle with him, we can't go out to eat because he won't just sit in his carseat or stroller. I feel like I never get a break and never have a moment to myself!</p> <p>He's been on probiotics for months and the reflux seems better. The colic symptoms improved dramatically just past four months. I hate to complain because he is SO much better, but I thought by five months in I'd be able to cook dinner or do my hair or SOMETHING. If this sounds familiar, when did it improve? </p>