https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 05:58:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200/page/2#post-2667806 Tue, 20 Dec 2016 00:09:11 +0000 sapphire 2667806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: it's too bad that it seems so many of you feel that you are expected to do so much or gift so much. I really don't feel that way! That's why I was wondering where it was coming from because then maybe you could figure out how to change things to not feel that way... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200/page/2#post-2667805 Tue, 20 Dec 2016 00:04:01 +0000 sapphire 2667805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@newlypregnantlady: that sounds really frustrating. I think if that was my family, I'd just skip gift giving entirely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200/page/2#post-2667735 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 21:13:58 +0000 808love 2667735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: agree w/ you about your finances comments </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200/page/2#post-2667591 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:59:43 +0000 MrsStar 2667591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've definitely spent that on lo1 and probably pretty close to it for lo2 - in fact I don't even want to calculate the total amount I've spent on them. But I've been buying throughout the year, haven't paid full price on anything and apart from birthdays my kids don't get anything other than needed clothes throughout the year so I definitely like to spoil them for christmas and birthdays. We will have 3 kids next Christmas and have decided to do the want/need/wear/read to reign it all in.<br /> Also, we pay insane prices here in New Zealand for everything eg. The hatchimals are $50/60 in the U.S. from what I've seen but they were $120 here when they were available (and people are paying $300-400 online for them currently since they're unavailable everywhere) so even for one toy it gets pretty expensive quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667566 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:23:34 +0000 looch 2667566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Right, I think there are a few things going on, one with the article itself and the very real fact that families are using credit or dipping into/borrowing against retirement accounts, and the other is the reaction to amounts spent. </p> <p>Financial education is something that's lacking in our current society. A lot of people don't understand what it means to earn, have to make a budget, do an analysis, readjust, use credit, etc. It's something where unfortunately, a lot of us make mistakes along the way and I wish we wouldn't talk down about people that make those mistakes...does that make sense? It's almost like people want to one up each other with how anti-consumerist they are at times too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667543 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 15:04:18 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2667543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I definitely came from one of those families who went into massive debt for Christmas. And as an adult those memories make me sad because just as much as I remember the Christmas magic, I remember my parents constantly fighting about finances. </p> <p>My husband and I aren't big gift givers and we actually don't even celebrate each other's birthdays because it's just not important to us. So it's easy for us not to go overboard on our own kids. </p> <p>@sapphire: Our biggest pressure comes from family whose love language is gifting and feel like that's the only way to show love. It's a big issue with us because when we try to pare down the gifting with Secret Santa or something else, we get accused of just trying to "make Christmas lame". Because to them, more gifts = better Christmas. It's frustrating but it's an issue larger than Christmas because it's a fundamental difference in our views of the world. To us, gifts aren't important because they're largely just junk we don't use or want but to them gifts are how they show love. It's something that I don't think will ever be resolved. My husband wants to skip Christmas every year because of the pressure (but when I come up with lots of real and legit reasons to skip Christmas he always backpedals and we end up doing the same stuff that stresses him out and makes him hate Christmas). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667487 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 13:59:18 +0000 Anagram 2667487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the larger conversation here isn't so much about Christmas. And I don't mean it to be "judgy", but the article specifically talks about people getting payday loans, dipping into retirement accounts, etc. So my response to the article in general is just based on those figures.</p> <p>Our society is obsessed with spending and keeping up with the Joneses. I read that other article earlier this year that said the average American doesn't have more than $300 in any type of savings. The average American is 1 small disaster away from total financial ruin. A totaled car, a serious illness, a job loss. And yet, people are taking out payday loans to buy more stuff. I have a hard time understanding that. This article featured a well known writer and published author who made a decent living but was now reaching retirement in near poverty--after putting his kids through private schools and private universities and on and on. </p> <p>And I am not immune to the lure of consumerism, AT ALL, although I think my parents did a good job teaching me that Christmas isn't really about what kids get to open on Christmas day.</p> <p>We have a budget and we try hard to keep to it. But even so, our kids want for nothing. They have so so so so much when other kids their age in Syria are dying and being bombed and there are unaccompanied minors making their way into the US from central america illegally because they are escaping drug cartels and violence. Even though we do try to reign in our gift and spending habits compared to other people we know in similar income brackets, sometimes I still feel kind of sick over how much STUFF we have. </p> <p>And I wonder if people would have more savings if they just reigned in their spending a little. I'm not talking about hard working people who work low paying jobs. I'm talking aboutmiddle and upper middle class people who feel compelled to give their kids these fantasy holidays because Santa doesn't have a budget. I'm not judgy I'm just...sad. You can have amazing holidays and make a lot of magical memories even if your kids don't get the latest gaming system or the most expensive doll or the latest most realistic toy kitchen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667477 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 13:39:32 +0000 birdofafeather 2667477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i haven't come close to that amount, but i definitely could see it for kids 8-14 and if we have the money, i don't think i'd be against it for big ticket items and a few small things. it's the debt involved there that i don't agree with, but i know that not everyone feels that way since consumer debt is a huge issue in the US. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667407 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 12:27:31 +0000 Freckles 2667407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sapphire: We make a good living so i feel like people on the outside would feel like we're cheap by not spending $xxxx on gifts. But in December we had 4 birthday parties plus all of the charity Xmas gift donation requests. Things can get tight financially and for me personally, xmas pressure is the worst reason for us to take on debt.</p> <p>@looch: i understand where you're coming from, but if you look at the title and content of the linked article it's hard for people not to make such comments. I don't care how much people spend (it's all relative), but i also don't think many people think it's a financial mistake to go into debt because of christmas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667384 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 12:12:53 +0000 snowjewelz 2667384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, what? That's crazy (to me)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667374 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 12:02:37 +0000 JennyD 2667374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sapphire: it's the expectations to do everything yourself - like at our compnay potluck this year, 3 people asked me why I didn't make something (from scratch). The last several years I've made tins of homemade cookies for all my siblings and my husband's siblings and parents. This year, that's off. But I feel like people will comment. </p> <p>I definitely feel like on my side of the family I will get the side eye for only getting one gift per kid. My sister and mom go so overboard and expect us to do the same. </p> <p>I think the main thing is just that there's SO much to do. Even stuff I want to do - cookie baking with good friends and ugly sweater parties and gift stealing parties. But there's so much to do to prepare for them. </p> <p>It just seems like you can't please everyone no matter how much time and money you spend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667307 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:59:33 +0000 psw27 2667307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sapphire: I don't think it comes from anyone, just the pressure to get it all done or participate in so many things or make it special for my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667306 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:58:41 +0000 psw27 2667306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: I totally agree/get it. I feel all the same pressures. I always say yes or sign myself up for so many things. And there is just never enough time. Ever. But I enjoy doing so many of them, that I don't want to say no either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667292 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:46:15 +0000 sapphire 2667292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: for you and others who said they feel a lot of pressure...pressure from whom? Who or what makes you feel this way? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667284 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:36:54 +0000 littlebug 2667284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yes, thank you! I am one of "those people" who has overspent on holidays. I like to get things for people, I enjoy giving gifts. I have worked REALLY hard on reigning in my spending and sticking to a budget, and admittedly am still not perfect at it. So to come here and see comments like some of these is hard and I do feel ashamed. I feel like something's wrong with me that I can't control my spending. </p> <p>I don't understand why anyone cares what other people spend, anyway. Or why anyone cares if other people take out huge debts. I just don't understand why anyone has any right to make comments or judgments about anyone else's credit card bills when it doesn't affect them in the slightest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667283 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:36:48 +0000 JennyD 2667283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: yes! This is my issue!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667282 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:36:26 +0000 JennyD 2667282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: the pressure for me is partly financial. I. Can certainly afford it but it kills me to spend $50 on a brother I see once a year etc. </p> <p>The pressure is from being so busy with things I don't feel I can say no to and all the things I want to do. Parties and potlucks and cookie baking and hosting dinners. It's so much! And on top of it, I work full time and my husband works out of town! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667269 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:27:02 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2667269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: yeah, I thought I was doing well with keeping things low key and just realized a neighbor cookie exchange party is tomorrow...I have no time to shop for &amp; bake 3 dozen cookies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667262 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:23:09 +0000 sunnyday 2667262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: AGREE! I definitely spent more than that, however I blame Canadian dollars, lol.</p> <p>But on top of that....I do not buy for my kids anything on a weekly or even monthly basis. We are occasion buyers only and I would rather spend more money on a few big ticket items at times like now versus either poor quality, short lifespan/playspan, gratification type toys.</p> <p>ETA.....I actually just read the article....and did not spend more than $422 PER kid.....but just above that for the kids for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667259 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:21:31 +0000 JennyD 2667259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I feel SO much pressure. I don't even want to get into it. But the one thing I do love about Christmas is buying gifts for my husband and daughter and spending a few days together with just them playing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667255 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:18:30 +0000 Greentea 2667255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is this in part the culture created by "santa?" To spend so kids don't think they were not "good?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667254 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:17:03 +0000 psw27 2667254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I could see how you could easily spend that much on your 8-14 year old child (ages of kids in survey in the article). Not so much a little kid - my 2 year old certainly isn't getting $422 in gifts from me! But, I was watching some young pre-teens in Lululemon the other day and all I could think was darn, when I was a kid I would have wanted that $128 sweatshirt and the matching $108 pants... and that's $236 right there. And my brother totally wanted playstation or whatever the cool gaming system was. So not that I am spending it NOW but I could see how it happens.</p> <p>Also, I would never go into debt, touch my retirement or take out a loan to make those things happen. That is not financially responsible. </p> <p>@JennyD: I agree with you. The pressure/expectations are crazy. I really hope as my kids get older, maybe we can forego gifts and the hoopla to just go on a nice trip together and experience something. It's all just exhausting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667251 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:11:12 +0000 MrsKoala 2667251@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're nowhere close. I think we spent about $200 on the kids max? Our other family members probably spent a lot more on them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667250 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:10:08 +0000 looch 2667250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: That's interesting you wrote that, about feeling under pressure. I feel like I don't do enough, I am not taking my son out to see Santa at the mall, we don't go to the polar express, we don't do any parties beyond what is offered at my husband's employer, etc. We make an effort to do one big thing on a quarterly basis (this year, for Oct/Nov/Dec it was going to see the Great Pumpkin Blaze) but I do feel guilty we didn't do anything for Christmas specifically. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667245 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:05:54 +0000 JennyD 2667245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MOMTOLITTLEB: we bought a big doll house from santa this year for my daughter. And a few other toys. And clothes and books and little things. </p> <p>Christmas always makes me feel under pressure. Financially and domestically and with respect to time. The expectations are enormous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667243 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:05:14 +0000 Mamaof2 2667243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Spend what you can afford - these stats made me cringe though<br /> -----<br /> One quarter of the parents surveyed have taken drastic measures to fund their purchases: 11% have dipped into their retirement account, 14% used funds from their emergency savings and 11% have taken out a payday loan.<br /> ----- </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667241 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:04:45 +0000 ShootingStar 2667241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I think you have some good points. I never mention the amounts I spend on things here because I'm sure it'll get met with criticism.</p> <p>But to be fair, the purpose of the thread wasn't really to talk about financial mistakes and how we've learned from them. I'm happy to have that conversation though, because I've made a lot! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667237 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 10:01:51 +0000 JennyD 2667237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: great points. </p> <p>We're a two-income family with one child. I guess that makes a huge impact on why we do the things we do (financially and emotionally) </p> <p>We also have absolutely made mistakes and have learned from them. Money was always an issue in my household growing up. I can remember worrying about money as a child. That really affected me. In fact, I grew up with the idea that I needed to go to school and get a good job so I could make sure that I wasn't at the mercy of someone else, financially (or otherwise). And I've done that. I've worked hard to get to where I am and I like it. We made mistakes along the way (borrowing money for RRSPs?!?!?) but learned from it. </p> <p>So, we spend a lot at Christmas time because we do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667211 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:31:40 +0000 looch 2667211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A couple of things....</p> <p>First, I really dislike spend shaming and I feel like I mention it over and over again. No one ever comments on the people that spend a small amount, saying it's not enough, or to use some of the words in posts on this thread, call it ridiculous and absurd. Why does anyone care and why do they feel justified to use those words? I'd love to hear more about it. FWIW, the money I spend on my son's birthday present alone would make some people freak out, but it provides another family with a source of income. It's not always about physical objects, but also about experiences.</p> <p>Second, has no one ever made a financial mistake? I know it's very easy to sit back and make judgements on people when we come from a position of plenty, but isn't it better to talk openly about why we do certain things, so we can have a discussion about it? No one's going to come to this thread and say, you know what, I've done that and here are the circumstances and what I learned from it now or better, what can I do so I don't fall into that trap again? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-budget-busters-parents-spend-on-avergae-4200#post-2667206 Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:10:03 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2667206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: agree.<br /> While it seems a little absurd to spend over $422 PER KID (I can definitely see that happening if the family has just one kid.. maybe two..), the biggest issue is those who have to put it on credit cards to afford it... and those cited who dip into retirement accounts?? That is taking it way too far, IMO.<br /> I had a rule this Christmas of setting and sticking to a budget and spending only money I physically have.<br /> This is the first year we've been a two income family, so it was easier this year.<br /> In the past, I do remember the stress of holiday spending and so I can sympathize with people who still want to buy fun gifts even if they're short on cash. </p>