https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 16:37:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903896 Thu, 28 Nov 2019 07:44:16 +0000 MrsSRS 2903896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: mine is from CVS and I think it's 530 mg </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903892 Thu, 28 Nov 2019 00:38:27 +0000 LCTBQE 2903892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: :heart: thanks for asking. Pretty miserable tbh. The baby has a virus or something that she came down with right when we got here Tuesday (fever, on Motrin around the clock), and can’t sleep well, she’s crying off and on right now. I’m taking her to urgent care tomorrow morning to rule out ear infection. But we’re still dragging her around town because the house is filthy and uncomfortable and we don’t want to be in it. So far I’ve dutifully been to the playground, target, Walgreens, two restaurants, and parked it all day today at my awesome sil’s house. I guess urgent care is another thing to do ?? And I’m glad you checked in because I forgot to get the valerian! Getting it tomorrow, is there a dose in mg or anything you recommend? Or are all pills the same? </p> <p>Anyone else doing all their errands? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903763 Tue, 26 Nov 2019 15:19:45 +0000 MrsSRS 2903763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: you doing ok? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903271 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 11:48:48 +0000 LCTBQE 2903271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: YOU SAINT, thank you for this!! So helpful and 100% we will do at least one or two of these things, I really appreciate you typing it out :) His parents live in Lackawanna so all the south stuff works, and then the siblings and friends are all around Elmwood and Hertel (I think?) Ave. Also thank you for the meetup offer, I might take you up on it if I don't commit myself to an asylum by Thursday. 3 pregnant mamas = :heart: :heart: people in Buffalo are so prolific! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903267 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 11:11:55 +0000 newlypregnantlady 2903267@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p><a href="https://youtu.be/VnzRFyOMD4U" rel="nofollow">https://youtu.be/VnzRFyOMD4U</a></p> <p>“It’s the holidays and Target’s got what you need the most! A big empty parking lot you can just sit in for a sec.”</p> <p>Seriously though: this is my desperation go-to. I run all the errands. More ice, wine, a different soda, butter, rolls, diaper cream, a thermometer. Whatever! Then I just wander around Target. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903266 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 11:10:20 +0000 wrkbrk 2903266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I’m dying. You get me. 😘 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903265 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 11:08:45 +0000 Becky 2903265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just saw you will be in Buffalo so thought I’d pipe in with all my time passing activities (mostly free). There are some holiday activities going on that you could take the kids to. The weather is supposed to be spring like by Buffalo standards too so definitely hit up the playgrounds. We like to do Cazenovia Park (South Buffalo) and then walk over to Dog Ears Cafe and get lunch and look at books. Takes up at least 3 hours, and you can also sneak a stroller nap in because there are paved walking trails. You could spend another 2 hours at the new Explore and More by Canalside and then walk the kids to sleep in the stroller and do some Christmas shopping. You could head down to East Aurora to see the lights at Fisher Price (or spend the whole day there: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday they’re kicking off free Christmas movies at the EA Theatre at 11am—see the lineup on Facebook—, then you can go to Parkdale or Hamlin park playground to get energy out, grab an early dinner, and see the lights—my kids love to check out the toys at Fisher Price too). Small Business Saturday is big here, so there’s an excuse to spend all day Saturday shopping in Elmwood Village, East Aurora, or Hamburg. I could go on, especially about playgrounds (Stiglmeier Park does their Christmas lights starting Thanksgiving day!), but I’ll stop now!</p> <p>ETA I know you said playgrounds aren’t very feasible but that’s basically all we did when my kids were your kids ages. They love it and it tries them out! If they need some friends to play with and you end up in EA I’ll bring our whole cousin crew to the playground to entertain (ages 4 months, 2.5 x 2, 3.5, 4.5, and 6, plus 3 pregnant mamas—it’s quite the site). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903263 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 10:43:42 +0000 MrsSRS 2903263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: yes!! I found it takes almost an hour to kick in and just makes me feel less adrenalized. Not tired or sleepy, just not anxious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903261 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 10:34:07 +0000 LCTBQE 2903261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: love this, I will be channeling you c.2014 or whatever this Thanksgiving. no excuses! I'm being proactive by writing out a schedule right now with both planned activities and escape hatch moments built in.</p> <p>@wrkbrk: "I left my cranberries album in the quad" --me to my in-laws </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903259 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 10:13:55 +0000 skiierchck99 2903259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don’t ask me...my MIL is visiting and I lasted less than 24 hours before getting snippy 🤦‍♀️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903255 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 09:48:06 +0000 wrkbrk 2903255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Ahhh thank you! This is so unexpected. I’d like to thank the folks at McDonald’s ... without whom I might never have been tardy 💁🏼‍♀️</p> <p><a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iWWCqKZZcIw" rel="nofollow">https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iWWCqKZZcIw</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903254 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 09:47:36 +0000 ShootingStar 2903254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Yeah, the double toddler stage is rough. Mine are a little further apart than yours. I'm guessing yours are both on one nap? As for the playground, bundle them up with hats and gloves and warm coats and they'll be fine for an hour or so outside.</p> <p>If you want a laugh, here's a pic of one of my greatest mom fails. This was taken on Christmas day at a playground near my parents' house in upstate NY (so it was cold). DS was 13 months and I forgot to bring his shoes. The whole trip - no shoes. So we're outside and he couldn't walk around. And we didn't bring mittens for him either so he's wearing DH's gloves. I think he's also wearing DH's ear muffs. Total. Fail. But we got out of the house! </p> [attach=2504/19/q1dl3c.600x579.IMG_3208.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903252 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 09:44:35 +0000 LCTBQE 2903252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: yes. you win the trophy for most patient daughter/DIL on hellobee. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903249 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 09:40:27 +0000 wrkbrk 2903249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: LOL exactly 😂 Like they have to take a ship across the ocean so the voyage has to be worth it or something! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903248 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 09:38:21 +0000 LCTBQE 2903248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsSRS: really?! I'm going to try it!! I'll report back :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903246 Fri, 22 Nov 2019 09:37:05 +0000 LCTBQE 2903246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: yep, roger that. I can't send my mom on errands because she's not capable of driving (she refuses to pay attention to surroundings or learn how to use Google Maps since always, and she's now in early stages of dementia). But *I* can go on errands at the in-laws :) </p> <p>@brownepiano: @periwinklebee: @cake2017: omg, naps and going to bed with the kids, GREAT idea, I like your style, guys. Part of why I dread these visits is that the house is small, crowded, dirty, and uncomfortable. But escaping to an unpleasant room where I'm at least alone is better than nothing. One thing my in-laws are great for is babysitting after the kids are in bed, so we're planning dinners or drinks with friends and (my lovely) sibling in-laws for a few of the nights. </p> <p>@ShootingStar: everything you said I'm taking note of, lady--thanks. I think it'll get easier to deal with this as the kids get older, part of the problem is that we've been in prime baby years (my older kid is your daughter's age and now I have a 15-month-old) so playgrounds and getting out in winter (in Buffalo :meh: ) have not really been feasible, esp with naps and stuff, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel as my daughter gets older. </p> <p>@pachamama: right, it's so true what you say about the kids' relationships with them, and I really whole-heartedly believe it. our parents are good people, they're just difficult and unhelpful (with the exception of my FIL who is an angel from heaven). I don't want the kids to know how the visits push all my buttons and they certainly don't need to know all the baggage. </p> <p>@wrkbrk: @pachamama: re booze: I wish. my brother's wife drinks very heavily when my mom visits them, and my SILs on my husband's side of the family drink very heavily to cope with my MIL. these are normal people! So my life goal is to NOT incite desperation wine binges in my offspring and their spouses. </p> <p>@wrkbrk: WHAT??! damn, that's like a jane austen length visit without the estate grounds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903223 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 21:47:50 +0000 wrkbrk 2903223@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Well, I was going to say wine ... :p No but seriously - following because we also have a five night trip and then they are coming here to stay with us for - wait for it - 13 more nights in December!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903209 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 19:51:28 +0000 ALV91711 2903209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Leave the kids with the IL’s and have a date night/afternoon. Go out by yourself for a bit, even if it’s just for a walk. Go to bed early and read/watch movie in bed. Get the family to do things with/for the kids and you can relax. </p> <p>We don’t see family often but when we do it is usually 5+ days. I don’t mind but I take advantage of the grandparents wanting to do things for the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903207 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 19:40:33 +0000 MrsSRS 2903207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Valerian. From CVS or wherever you buy vitamin type things.<br /> It's sold as a sleep aid but my psychologist recommended it for anxiety. The sleep aid dose is like five, but you just take one for anxiety. As needed. It's amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903186 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 17:02:28 +0000 cake2017 2903186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Any friends in the area? Meet up with them. </p> <p>I’d go to bed with the children as well - </p> <p>break away with your husband while in laws watch kids... errands.... and just small talk. </p> <p>I can relate lol. We don’t do it. I can only do 2 hours lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903184 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 16:56:17 +0000 agold 2903184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh I'm so sorry! 5 days is a long time. I just did it back in September. Take the kids away for diaper changes and bottles and just take a long time doing these things. Go somewhere else (garage, patio, basement) any chance you can get. Or leave them with your husband and then you go take a nap if you can. I negotiated naps and extended hair blow drying into my time away with the husband's family (two things I don't get to enjoy since baby #2 came). :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903177 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 16:18:38 +0000 pachamama 2903177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just read that alcohol makes you puke (😵). I actually really like my in-laws except for my SIL, but I just look at it from my kids' perspective: we don't see them that often and it's really important for them to have a relationship with the family, so I can tolerate anything for a few days. 5 is a lot for everyone tho, yikes!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903176 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 16:16:19 +0000 pachamama 2903176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Booze. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903173 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 16:10:18 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2903173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family isn’t bad, but certain members are difficult. I just smile and nod smile and nod. 🥴 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903172 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 16:01:33 +0000 ShootingStar 2903172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The older I get, the more people exhaust me. When we have visitors, or when we're visiting someone else, we essentially go to bed when the kids do. At 7pm we go up for bedtime, which takes about an hour, and then we never come back. </p> <p>When we have time off with the kids we always go out and do something in the morning. We might do something fun or just go to Target to pick up a couple things and have a snack at the Starbucks inside - they sell lots of kid friendly food like pouches and cake pops. We've also gone out to playgrounds on holidays when everything is closed. Gets us all out of the house and the kids can get their energy out. </p> <p>And then honestly, I'd probably disappear for part of the afternoon too while the kids nap, lol. Dinner will probably be the worst part. Have that single glass of wine and milk it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903161 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 15:15:10 +0000 periwinklebee 2903161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Go to bed with the kids, nap with the kids... sure, the rest of the family will gossip that it's because your KU again, but totally worth it 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903158 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 14:57:58 +0000 LadyDi 2903158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you get a “headache” or “upset stomach” to just be MIA for a day or so? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903154 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 14:48:44 +0000 brownepiano 2903154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Go to bed with the kids. 9 pm is way too late for me, 7/8 is more like it. (And by go to bed, I mean leave the party and hang out where ever you can be alone). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903151 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 14:39:57 +0000 crazydoglady 2903151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Running errands! Send them on errands! All the errands! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-family-visit-coping-mechanisms#post-2903149 Thu, 21 Nov 2019 14:38:25 +0000 LCTBQE 2903149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>People whose relationships with family are in the scope of complicated to unpleasant, give me your cheat sheet for how to get through the holidays. </p> <p>We are traveling to in-laws for FIVE. DAYS. for Thanksgiving, then my mom is coming to our house for Christmas. So far my strategy is try and stay the fuck out of the house when at all possible, focus on the kids and try to avoid talking about anything but them, planning activities with easy family members, and going to bed at 9:15pm. So mostly trying to keep busy and waiting for it to all be over. Wine is kind of a problem because alcohol generally makes me vomit after more than one drink, so, it's unfortunately not really in my arsenal. Usually my first line of defense is a 3-day-max visit, but for Thanksgiving, I lost. </p> <p>So how do you get through it?? </p>