https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 03:34:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856595 Wed, 14 Nov 2018 11:14:20 +0000 Ajsmommy 2856595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is tough for me. I tend to feel that sending a gift just to send a gift isn't worth it.... however I have a nephew (my brothers son)... my brother doesn't even see him--a whole different story, but my mom does. My brother never even really dated his mom, it was a one night thing. Anyway, my mom is very involved and sees him and gives him gifts. I've met him a few times and in the past I've sent him gifts for bday and Christmas. He's 8 now, his mom remarried and she had twins and they have a nice "family" now. I sent a gift last year and got no response and they didn't send DD or DS a gift in return either when in past years they'd sent DD a gift (prior to DS).</p> <p>Anyway, this year I am tempted to not send a gift but I don't want to seem terrible..... so I'm stuck... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856569 Wed, 14 Nov 2018 10:30:52 +0000 psw27 2856569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I've sort of been in this situation. For a very long time I sent my SIL gifts - a wedding gift, a baby shower gift - and then my niece birthday gifts and Christmas gifts. I finally stopped because I didn't even get a text saying thank you. Then I found out that my SIL was going through a really sh*tty divorce. So I think this year I will go back to sending my niece a Christmas gift and a birthday gift. I want my niece to know we are there for her even if she is only 4 and we see her once a year at most. I don't expect anything for my kids because my SIL has no money and a sh*tty ex-husband. But I will be mad if we don't even get a text, I will say that. Cause manners matter and don't cost anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856538 Wed, 14 Nov 2018 09:12:48 +0000 Mamaof2 2856538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with @ALV91711: Do they acknowledge the gift? If not, I would stop sending </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856527 Wed, 14 Nov 2018 01:16:20 +0000 Kemma 2856527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I’ve only seen or spoken with my brother once in almost six years and his wife is legit crazy but I still send them a Christmas card and something to my niece for her birthday in January. My husband doesn’t understand why I bother but it’s not the child’s fault that we don’t keep in contact and I want to leave the door open for her to maybe have a relationship with our family in the future.</p> <p>I vote for continuing to send something small even if it is just to keep the door open. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856516 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 21:25:43 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2856516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would send a holiday card to the family and no gifts. I loathe buying gifts just for the sake of giving gifts so have phased that out with members of my family who I don’t ever see/don’t seem to be interested in our family. I have no hard feelings but I don’t get or give gifts to any of my aunts/uncles on my dads side. I understand it can be different with kids but I would just send a card and nothing more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856514 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 20:57:31 +0000 ALV91711 2856514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do they acknowledge with a thank you when you send gifts? If yes I'd continue sending something small. If not I'd send the family a Christmas card and be done with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856508 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 20:34:34 +0000 jhd 2856508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't feel obligated to keep sending gifts! I would just do what you feel comfortable with and what causes you the least amount of stress.</p> <p>And I hope this doesn't sound creepy, but I was thinking of you recently and hope you and your family are doing well! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856468 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 16:45:59 +0000 mediagirl 2856468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have been estranged from my husband's sister and her family for 5 years now. We used to send gift cards and money to the boys (she has 3 sons) but stopped when we didn't get thank you cards or any recognition that we sent something. Now we don't communicate at all. I'm cool with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856459 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 16:27:00 +0000 lioneyes 2856459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should still send gifts. Doesn't have to be anything extravagant, I always make sure DH sends his brothers' kids Amazon or itunes cards at least. On my side, I only have 1 aunt/uncle and while we aren't estranged, we don't see them or speak frequently and they rarely acknowledge stuff (not even talking about bdays, but like the birth of my child) and 2 of my 3 cousins still haven't even emailed/texted/facebooked about DS existing (he was born 4 years ago- and we are super close with one cousin, their brother, and go on family vacations together, so it's not like they don't know). As an adult, it kind of sucks so I would do what you can to ensure your kids have some semblance of a relationship w/ their aunt and cousins even if it's superficial. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856456 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 16:02:17 +0000 macintosh 2856456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: Do you think it would be petty if I just sent a card and no gift/$? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856455 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 16:02:16 +0000 JCCovi 2856455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would keep sending gifts to the kids. I don’t know how likely it is, but maybe hearing your name and seeing your gifts every year will mean the kids at least know who you are. Then maybe a relationship with them will be possible one day.</p> <p>I would definitely not send anything to the parents! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856454 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 16:01:13 +0000 macintosh 2856454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: I hear you, it sucks. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856451 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 15:58:21 +0000 skinnycow 2856451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have been estranged from one of my husband's half sisters for several years. She has two sons (our nephews obviously) that we have not seen for probably 4-5 years. </p> <p>We stopped sending gifts for our nephews last Christmas. I feel bad but they never see us and sister-in-law has never sent our daughter a present. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-gifts-and-estranged-family#post-2856448 Tue, 13 Nov 2018 15:52:11 +0000 macintosh 2856448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pondering what I'll do about Christmas gifts for my 2 nieces. I don't have a great relationship with my SIL (some of you have heard the loooong story). Status quo for a while has been that I send either physical or Amazon gift cards for her daughters birthdays. She sends a gift for our DS on his b-day. We did exchange small gifts for the kids last X-mas.</p> <p>I don't do much besides a text on SIL and BIL's birthday. Heck, I didn't even send my own brother a gift card this year, and I really like him! However, my DH is her brother and he's disabled. She didn't so much as call him on his birthday or even send a card. She sent him a text message. She hasn't seen him in 3 years and that's the best she can muster. At least his Dad sends him a card.</p> <p>How long do I keep up this charade? Her kids have never even met our son, their cousin. The younger one hasn't seen us in person since she was a toddler. Would you keep sending gifts for the kids if you were me? </p>