https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 00:28:36 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863767 Fri, 28 Dec 2018 00:42:46 +0000 PurplePeony 2863767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: my DD’s Santa gifts have been Craigslist finds the past couple years. Last year was her big girl bed (new mattress but secondhand frame) and this year was a secondhand American Girl doll. I have no guilt, she doesn’t know the difference and I am happy to buck consumerism at least a bit. Stocking stuffers (also from Santa) are practical things like undies, socks, hair clips, toothbrush... We only got her like 4 or 5 other gifts, which we thought was plenty. Kids get overwhelmed by too much all at once. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863745 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 21:21:03 +0000 wrkbrk 2863745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jhd: Same. 5 gifts. 3 from Santa and 2 from us and it still felt overboard somehow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863729 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 17:32:25 +0000 nana87 2863729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We do Hanukkah, which was really early this year, but I commiserate with a lot of you and had similar frustrations! We do a gift each night and dh didn’t plan any of them, and gave me shit about buying too much even though each night was very small (like, lo1’s favorite gift cost )5, another night$3 lol). We said no gifts for each other since we had both bought ourselves stuff on sale on Black Friday, but after I told him I was annoyed I had done all the work to make the holiday special, he got me a gift and it’s like dude thAts not the point and now I feel bad since I didn’t get you a present!</p> <p>Also my birthday is in a couple weeks and he’s already botched it but in a way that I feel bad complaining. Like, he told me we’re going out to dinner which is nice (we also haven’t had a date night since I think August...) but also going to a comedy club which is suuuper random— definitely something he wants to do but I actually don’t really like. Wtf? He also let slip that he bought me a scarf— I’ve been saying I want a new one but have really particular opinions about what I want... he gave it to me early and I don’t really like it but feel bad about exchanging it even though he does that with gifts I give him so 🤷‍♀️</p> <p>Also he has to work this week so I’m taking off to watch the girls while daycare is closed and he needs to step up and watch them more while he’s home so I can do some work tasks and he’s just not stepping up and distracting our kiddos who keep finding me while I desperately try to cram some work in...I have a work trip and job interview next week and a big deadline next month that I’m trying to get on top of before the semester starts....plus syllabi to write...and if I steal away for 5 mins the toddler bangs at my door.</p> <p>All extremely first world problems but I’m stressed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863717 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 15:42:02 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2863717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: It really does. I'm having trouble getting excited for Hawaii, and I've been looking forward to this post-adoption trip for years! I powered through the holiday with dayquil but I didn't take any this morning and I'm paying for it. UGH. Really need some kid free time to clean up the house, get things in order, make room for the new toys and clothes they got, etc. Kid free time and energy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863712 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 15:30:06 +0000 paigeface 2863712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for venting in sharing. It really helped me. I did not care for the holidays this year and our 3yo is over stimulated, over tired and crabby. Getting him back on track has been a nightmare. Honestly my husband and I were just saying we would have preferred to skip out this year on the festivities (I know we sound like grinches it was just too much!) hugs to everyone going through stressful situations right now :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863709 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 15:12:06 +0000 Foodnerd81 2863709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Turtle: solo parenting, sick, amid the chaos is extra extra tough. I caught a cold a week before Christmas but was more or less on the mend before the holiday, and my kids are coming down with it now. It’s “just a cold” but it really makes it hard to do anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863708 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 15:05:38 +0000 psw27 2863708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread has really helped me. I was having a little pity party because our trip to see my parents was ROUGH. DH and I just didn't get along the whole time and we were fighting and arguing in front of my parents and the kids were just wild and over tired and over sugared. </p> <p>The whole trip made me so, so bitter because like so many of you - I did MOFO everything to make Christmas special for our 2 DS, DH, his parents, his step parents, my parents, etc. and all DH did was order me a coat that I sent him a link to. Not one surprise from him to me, not one stocking stuffer, nothing. Plus I did all the packing and wrapping and airline ticket buying and wore the very large 19 month through the airport and held him all flight.....and yet he was the one who needed to take naps and was acting all grouchy and exhausted. Every year I say I'm just not going to do this crap anymore.... and every year I get suckered back in. So anyway ----I hear ya ladies. I really do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863704 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 12:58:18 +0000 808love 2863704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@crazydoglady: Yes I didn't open/read it until this morning....it actually helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863703 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 12:54:32 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2863703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can I just say the post Christmas let down is rough this year. For all of us. I'm sick, the kids are a little sick. 3yo is a mess after so much excitement, sugar and over stimulation. Baby is great but so very stuffed up. I feel like my head is going to explode but I went to work this morning just to get away from the kids. And I have to somehow figure out how to fit about 74797346 new toys into our tiny cabin before we leave for Hawaii next week. And I'm solo parenting until we leave. Really looking forward to the end of all of this holiday chaos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863702 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 12:46:24 +0000 crazydoglady 2863702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@808love: Same! Confession: When I saw this post initially, I was like "here comes the bitch fest," but this has been downright therapuetic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863690 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 11:04:05 +0000 808love 2863690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just read through and somehow feel not alone in this world without a soul to vent to. Let's just say- I finally closed a tab to search a hotel night after I read the vents. I'm with you! Reality is tough pill to swallow on Christmas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863687 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 10:05:35 +0000 Foodnerd81 2863687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: he actually did put a lot of thought into my gift- this year- although I’m not sure how it will work out in the end. He is getting me art classes at a local place. I used to do a lot of art and the idea is something fun for me to look forward to away from the kids every week while working on something I enjoy. So I’m not sure this particular class/ school will be the right fit but the idea is a good one.<br /> And I did remind him we haven’t seen his mom yet, who he knows I gave my good gift idea too (a thinner packable puffy coat). He doesn’t mean to harp on it but it’s also making me feel crappy. </p> <p>BUT my kids are totally loving the gifts I thought they would! And even sharing them. And two of their bigger Santa gifts were actually hand me downs to us which is even better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863684 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 09:43:46 +0000 looch 2863684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Every year, December sneaks up on me and I end up rushing around like a crazy person. After it's all over, I vow not to repeat that but inevitably, it happens over and over. I got caught unprepared with my son's advent calendar, so now I made a list and will add and purchase items as I think of them. I also had the usual Christmas Eve panic about not having a sufficient Santa gift for my son, but he was pleased with the one item and hasn't expressed the desire for more.</p> <p>We also decided not to pack away our stockings and to do Christmas in July (stockings only) so that we're doing something low key but still fun in the summer when we don't really have gift giving opportunities.</p> <p>I also explained to my son that he's got to cool it on the birthday party favors. I don't even want to disclose what I spent on plastic themed junk. It's relevant because he's got a December birthday and I basically told him it's either that stuff or an additional gift from us for his birthday. I think he got it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863683 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 09:40:22 +0000 Adira 2863683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: That's so frustrating! Can you just be like "We haven't seen your mom yet - I'm sure she got you something. Stop complaining."</p> <p>Curious - did he get YOU something awesome this year?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863681 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 09:36:21 +0000 gotkimchi 2863681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I would not feel bad and I would sort of tell your husband to get over it. Like I get it but I also think that’s Christmas as an adult right? As you saw above my husband didn’t get me anything and I can guarantee you he doesn’t feel bad about it. So I would approach this with the confidence of a middle age white man and not take it on. We do enough </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863678 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 09:31:17 +0000 Foodnerd81 2863678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is such a dumb vent, but DH is feeling bummed that no one really got him gifts. I told him early on I was just going to do small things for him this year and had given my good bigger idea to his mom to give him- so she would pay for it, which is part of my gift (not spending money), right? My parents sent us a wine club thing which is really nice (my suggestion), but it came before. I gave him small thoughtful things that he seemed to like. But last night and this morning he’s been all sad he didn’t get anything fun, and I’m like, dude. You are putting this on me. I bought gifts for our kids, my five nephews and niece, my parents, your mom, one of your brothers. And now I feel shitty that I didn’t get you a bigger gift. We haven’t even seen his mom or brother yet. I don’t want to go bringing this up but last year he got “me” Adirondack chairs that we had to assemble and finish ourselves, meaning he did t himself in September of this year while I watched the kids alone the whole time, and a waffle iron. And he’s like, I was hoping someone would get me a new shirt or something. Oh, really? I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT YOU A SHIRT IF YOU HAD TOLD ME THAT.<br /> So now I feel crappy that I didn’t do enough for him. I worry we did too much or too little for the kids. I’m just kind of annoyed about it all. Plus we did Christmas with my family this year after doing it with his for the last 3 years, and my family just doesn’t do as big gifts as his- which i prefer because i feel like his family just buys random crap to have a gift to give. </p> <p>Another tiny smaller vent- my family doesn’t do gift receipts. Why? My sister actually said, no, I’m confident in my gifts, I nailed it. Ok then, but has it occurred that someone else may have done the same thing? Just, weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/4#post-2863668 Thu, 27 Dec 2018 07:08:06 +0000 brownepiano 2863668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: I had the same problem this year! Our house is small and the kids have plenty of toys. In-laws and extended family always give them tons of gifts so we decided to just do stockings and a book at home. They each got one stuffed animal exploding out of their stockings and a few other small things.<br /> Problem is BIL has cancer (found out on Thanksgiving) so we didn't get to see the inlaws and I felt really bad that the kids wound up having a really small Christmas at home because we couldn't go see anyone.<br /> We just had family drop off all the rest and we're going to Skype and open in 2-3 days. I'm not sure my 4 year old is going to survive the suspense. It made me feel more sure of our small Christmas in retrospect. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863652 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 22:08:50 +0000 jhd 2863652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: don’t feel bad! My kids each got five (small) presents. I was doubting my decision to keep things simple, but ultimately I’m glad I did and so was my DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863649 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 21:40:37 +0000 Anagram 2863649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: oh gosh! Don’t feel bad about that!! Our kids got exactly 3 gifts. Total!! 2 from Santa, 1 from us (this is because at some point, I told our kids Santa only brings 2 gifts, and they have amazing memories and never forget that stuff, so now they constantly tell ME that Santa only brings 2 gifts. </p> <p>This was our tree, with my gifts to DH and his gifts to me—you can see we have about 9 gifts total. And it still felt like a lot! Like once the kids had opened the small Target-1-spot stuff in their stockings, visions of landfills and plastic waste were dancing in my head. And then I realized the cheap Aldi wrapping paper is bought was also not paper but some type of odd plasticky paper that will probably never degrade and will be releasing toxins offgassing into our water supply 1000 years from now. Anyway, somehow it still felt like too much when there are kids in this world without shoes, you know? My husband is always a good reality check on these things—he was collecting the larger pieces of wrapping paper and trying to roll it back into the rolls to use again in the future—you can take the kid out of the developing country, but you can’t take the developing country out of the kid. </p> <p>Anyway, my goal last year was to consume less and produce less waste and I pretty much failed miserably, but I’m excited to try again this year. That was my little pep talk for you.</p> <p>[attach=2976/18/pkdjfp.450x600.F00D1BFB-6927-49DE-B05A-E989542467BC.jpeg] </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863638 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 18:59:15 +0000 LBee 2863638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: my kids got 3 gifts each from Santa and 1 gift from us. I wasn’t embarrassed at all. They got exactly what they asked for and each toy has been played with extensively already. Be proud of what you did and don’t let social media make you doubt what’s right for you.</p> <p>ETA: and as I mentioned in my gripe, my kids didn’t get to experience any of the Christmas parties etc due to being sick. My eldest still said it was the best Christmas ever (and he actively had the stomach bug during it)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863632 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 18:16:45 +0000 Corduroy 2863632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@smuckers: I almost had the opposite thinking. We did almost all the gifts Christmas Eve. I was almost embarrassed how overboard it looked. Then Christmas morning we did stockings and two Santa presents each. Those were the pictures I wanted to post. I wish I had stuck to that kind of minimalism. Goals for next year. </p> <p>We're at the ILs now and they went way overboard. Not much more than me but we flew here. A ton of toys and a glass baking dish on a plane or packing and shipping everything home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863629 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 17:19:48 +0000 smuckers 2863629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, this is a random gripe, and entirely one of our choosing. Yesterday, everyone on my social media was posting their tree selfies. Basically pictures of their Christmas trees with all of the presents underneath after Santa came. Every single one was BURSTING with gifts, overflowing.</p> <p>DH and I made a conscious decision this year to keep gifts small. She doesn't need a lot, she's not old enough to know any better, we don't have a ton of space for a ton of gifts, and the money could go to other things (like DH's car surprise car repair). I'm super on board with all of those things. But then I see all of these amazing tree selfies, with tons of gifts just like I remember from when I was a kid, and I just feel bad. Like if I post my tree selfie, with a full stocking, a tent, and 2 gifts under the tree, that I would be judged for not making Christmas "magical" enough. Even though she's gone to 3 parties, had 3 Christmases separate from the parties, and I spent weeks hand-sewing her a felt Advent calendar that she loved doing every morning, it still feels like not enough.</p> <p>It's totally me doing it to myself. No one has said anything to me. I just felt sad about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863627 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 16:28:00 +0000 lindseykaye 2863627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. My holiday venting has more to do with work/HR/benefits nonsense I'm dealing with over the holidays because my rewards manager has told me the wrong thing or given me info that is not specific enough while I am doing my FMLA/short term disability and adding my newborn to insurance. I thought I had everything sorted out and everything has been not quite right at every turn. Annoying.</p> <p>Holiday venting is minimal - we're home just the 4 of us with our newborn so there's minimal family stress and just normal newborn days stress :p</p> <p>My main gripe is that yesterday DH took our older daughter to our neighborhood friends holiday open house in the afternoon and I was able to get a nap while the baby napped... but then they stayed for like 3 hours because LO was having so much fun. The nap was amazing, I was happy both of them got out and saw friends and LO got some energy burned off... but after like 2 hours of being alone with the baby and unable to *do* anything since she was needing to be held I was feeling very lonely and more than a little annoyed. Like - MAKE her leave. You are the Dad. Just make her leave and come home and help me or at lease hold the baby while I make the entire xmas dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863626 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 16:21:24 +0000 lindseykaye 2863626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: If it makes you feel any better Santa only brings our kids one gift each year - the thing they ask for (or one off the list). Mommy and Daddy give the rest because we enjoy being generous with her this time of year and we work hard at our jobs and save and plan for Christmas (what we actually tell her haha). I dunno, it works for us and keeps the Santa expectations reasonable, letting us do what works best each year for all other gifts/$$. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863624 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:57:24 +0000 pachamama 2863624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: @Foodnerd81: same. I left a family party legit saying "apologies if my son physically hit you or personally offended you tonight" 👋 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863591 Wed, 26 Dec 2018 08:49:01 +0000 SweetCaroline 2863591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: @skinnycow: same. I'm convinced sugar is the root of all evil. The in-lawd basically had an IV of sugar in DD. I should have been more firm, but they would ask her if she would like a fruit roll up, etc. And then send her to me to ask permission. Very disrespectful of DD and of me, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863579 Tue, 25 Dec 2018 21:53:36 +0000 Foodnerd81 2863579@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: @skinnycow: my kids were total brats for a lot of today. They were appreciative of the gifts for a while, but just out of routine, traveling, lots of people, eating crap, getting to bed late and not sleeping in... not their best selves. Definitely told them Santa can still take their presents back. I’m hoping a good night sleep helps. </p> <p>But I cannot complain too much, since they are sleeping at my parents and DH and I are at a nearby hotel (he’s allergic to their dog)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863578 Tue, 25 Dec 2018 21:45:29 +0000 skinnycow 2863578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: Same. No nap today or yesterday for my toddler and way too much sugar. Not a good combo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863576 Tue, 25 Dec 2018 20:52:03 +0000 wrkbrk 2863576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can we go twice? My son (3) is now apparently a tyrant. The end.<br /> ETA: No nap whatsoever today, tantruming, wanting more presents than the 162829 he got, and currently overly tired and crying his eyes out upstairs because he wants to have a “sleepover with mom.” FML. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/holiday-vent-post/page/3#post-2863574 Tue, 25 Dec 2018 20:28:24 +0000 LBee 2863574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Solidarity. If it makes you feel any better, our fever broke (both kids had it) after 48 hours. </p>