https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 07:39:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-353172 Sun, 21 Oct 2012 22:25:26 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 353172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update on new thread: </p> <p><a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-had-the-most-amazing-experience-today?replies=1#post-353171" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/i-had-the-most-amazing-experience-today?replies=1#post-353171</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321831 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 09:00:33 +0000 babynumber1 321831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: Having a feeding tube will prolong how long he lives by providing nutrition, but he would still have an increased risk of pneumonia. Also, if it is a long term solution, it would require surgery to have the tube placed which is another risk factor. The main argument for him having a feeding tube seems to be that he would starve to death. The body shuts down very naturally at the end. He would not feel that he was starving like you and I would. </p> <p>But in the end, you have to ask yourself would your grandfather want to have a feeding tube and what would his quality of life be with a feeding tube. </p> <p>I'm so sorry your family is going throught this. ((Hugs)) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321649 Wed, 03 Oct 2012 02:22:02 +0000 MaisyMay 321649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: In some ways, hearing a time line helped us realize that it would happen sooner rather than later. Even though they said maybe 2 months, he only lived about 11 days after that. Unfortunately my dad passed away 6 years ago. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321551 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 21:58:38 +0000 Cole 321551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: I am so sorry to great about your grandfather, we are going through this right now with my father and it is the most overwhelming thingi have ever been through. We were just having the feeding tube discussion tonight and it is such a hard decision to make. We actually aren't sure if our hospice will even do it since it could be seen as prolonging life. </p> <p>It its amazing how there are occasionally people who just forget what there job is and what behavior is expected of them. I would not expect to be treated rudely at McDonalds much less by a hospice nurse! Thankfully we have had exceptional people through hospice and palliative care and it had made all the difference. My dad's surgeon was by far the worst excuse for a human being I have ever meet. Don't get me wrong he was great at surgery but he was so arrogant, condescending, and just plain mean that even his mother must struggle to like him. People like that underestimate what kind of am effect their words can have.</p> <p>If you ever want to chat about our crummy situation let me know. I know it is a challenging path, plus the people we usually lean on are trying to process it too do they sometimes can't help as much as we need.</p> <p>Lots of hugs and positive thoughts to you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321465 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 20:24:07 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 321465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He has Dementia, not sure what stage, I'm assuming two going into three. It was his recent struggle with pneumonia that brought this all about. The nurse that called today for his initial eval and was a capital R U D E! i ask "did you tell him you were from hospice?" her response, "everyone knows who we are and why we are here, its pretty obvious. I have hospice written all over me" Other rude comments IN FRONT of my grandpa go just like this. "I'm going to recommend taking him off his vitamins, no need to be on them if your in Hospice." "Obviously you know he has dementia, so you need to know and understand that this IS the beginning of the end. SOME PEOPLE just don't GET IT" "He is going to die"</p> <p>REALLY B!? IN FRONT OF MY GRANDPA?!?!</p> <p>I'm just hoping she was having a REALLY bad day because this will not fly with me!</p> <p>@missymay I hate that they have you a time line. You can never count on that. One thing that I tell my patients family is that they are not actively dying, right now &amp; that you can't predict when it will happen. Just make the best out of every visit.</p> <p>I can't imagine doing this with my mother! She was a single parent most of my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321422 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 19:45:27 +0000 jennylynn 321422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry your family is going through this. I always tell my patients families that have to make a hard decision to think about the quality of life their family member would have. If your grandpa had the feeding tube placed, and it kept him alive for a few more months or so, would his quality of life be fulfilling to him? Would he enjoy those last months? Or would it just be prolonging and dragging out the end? It's never easy to make a decision like that for someone else, and I don't think there's a "right" or "wrong" decision here, but I think it helps to feel like you are making the decision your grandpa would want you to make. I feel like I'm missing a big chunk of the story though. Why is he on hospice? Because he won't eat, or is there an underlying condition? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321286 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 16:44:12 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 321286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My grandpa has a medical directive but it doesn't say anything about feeding tubes, just no extreme measures (life support). His medical directive calls that we resuscitate him up to three times if necessary but the papers at the home say DNR. A lot of things change between the age of 70 and 95.</p> <p>I found it weird that the Hospice said we could change what his medical directive stated because we are DPA, that if we wanted to resuscitate and he clearly stated DNR that we could.<br /> We clearly want to do what he would have wanted. I just wish this would have been addressed. I'm sure we will go with no tube, doesn't make the decision any easier! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321275 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 16:26:38 +0000 MsMini 321275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family decided when we put my grandma in long term care that in the event that is becomes an issue, she will not receive tube feeds. We decided it was much easier to make the decision ahead of time then wait for when the time comes and emotions are higher, and then you are speculating what they would have wanted. My Grandma made the final decision that she wouldn't want a feeding tube. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321258 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 16:17:51 +0000 heffalump 321258@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry that you are going through this!</p> <p>My grandma was in hospice pretty recently after living on her own at home for a very long time and refusing help. She thrived when she went there and loved it, she ended up gaining a lot of weight because she was finally eating again and she was the happiest she had been for a long long time. After a few months she did take a turn for the worst though because she was old, sick, and her body was just too tired. My family opted out of the feeding tube, my poor grandma was having enough problems because she was having trouble breathing and that gave her anxiety and she also had anxiety about dying. Of course hospice kept her well medicated to keep the anxiety down, but then she was out of it all of the time. </p> <p>We had also watched my grandpa suffer for a long time years before this so I think this made the decision pretty easy for my family. He had parkinsons and that makes your body shut down pretty slowly. He had a feeding tube for awhile, but even when they took it out he lived for weeks. He was miserable, and we didn't want to have to watch my grandma go through the same thing. </p> <p>Obviously there's no right or wrong, it's different for you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321231 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 16:02:51 +0000 MaisyMay 321231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad was put on hospice when we were told he had maybe 2 months left. They were great about getting him equipment to make him more comfortable. He only lasted about 11 days after that. He didn't eat and didn't want a feeding tube. We gave him water and morphine to make him comfortable.<br /> This is a really hard situation for you to be in and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with it for your grandfather. If you want to talk, let me know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/hospice-#post-321172 Tue, 02 Oct 2012 15:26:01 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 321172@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What a roller coaster these last few weeks have been! About 3 weeks ago my 95 yr old grandpa aspirated some of his vomit in his sleep which caused pneumonia. Thankfully he has made a quick and full recovery. </p> <p>They did a barium swallow test &amp; had a speech therapist evaluate him. The ST put him on honey/pudding thick liquids and pureed food, which he is pretty much refusing to eat (according to the ST) but the nurses say he is just being himself. LONG story shortened it was suggested that he be placed on Hospice, more for comfort care then end of life care, so we went ahead with the suggestion. </p> <p>I have been in health care for over 10 years and am a Hospice volunteer in my spare time so I have a good understand of how it works. It's a lot different when it is your family, my head is telling me one thing but my heart is saying another. </p> <p>One of the things that we are struggling with as a family is the possibility of a feeding tube. It will be a while before we really have to make that decision. The problem with that is once the tube is in there is no taking it out and you can not DC feedings. At that point it would mean we are pretty much dragging out the end of life process &amp; it would take longer for the body to shut down. On the other hand when the time comes that he can no longer eat or drink then he will basically end up starving to death and the body will shut down quicker. When this time comes the patient is usually on pain medication for comfort so they are usually unaware that they are "starving". So what do you do? The DNR was the easy part because he had already signed one when he was admitted into the home several years ago.</p> <p>I have a passion for Hospice care so I would love to hear your feed back &amp; stories. </p>