https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 03 May 2026 22:01:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2766955 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 08:16:08 +0000 snowjewelz 2766955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Elle_watson: It's really sad that people will abandon friends dealing with infertility issues :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2766929 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 02:18:34 +0000 Elle_watson 2766929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: you this is the time when you actually get to know who your real friends are, trust me you will actually know now who are there to stick around in the worst of times, you sil is really sweet i wish mine was like that :P but then that's how life is only a very few lot of people are kind and thoughtful </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2766925 Fri, 11 Aug 2017 01:52:04 +0000 Elle_watson 2766925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: support them by referring them to people who despite the problem have made it, she can also have an option where she can adopt that would be great, by including her you definitely have done a very touching thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2760268 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 10:36:52 +0000 snowjewelz 2760268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all :heart: </p> <p>Just sent me two friends a text this morning that I'm thinking about them and asking them what fun plans they have ahead! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2760215 Thu, 20 Jul 2017 07:42:45 +0000 ElbieKay 2760215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What @SweetiePie said. I would be ok with "thinking of you" types of sentiments but would definitely not want a gift/card/memento. If intimate details have been shared and you know, for instance, that a test result is due, it's fine to check in but do not pry for details. And be an information vault. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757215 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 15:12:12 +0000 bhbee 2757215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: oh wow. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757197 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 14:35:49 +0000 FaithFertility 2757197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I understand, it is my best friend who I literally talk/text every day </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757196 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 14:35:24 +0000 FaithFertility 2757196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: ohhh my goodness!!! Beautiful </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757157 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 12:49:55 +0000 NorthStar 2757157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: :crying: This brings everything back. Trying to not start crying at work! This was beautifully done :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757148 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 12:27:36 +0000 snowjewelz 2757148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: That's awful, I am so sorry! I feel like in general people tend to just shy away from things they don't know and/or are uncomfortable with. I owe it all to HB that I know and I am comfortable with the topic so I don't shy away from the details!</p> <p>@HeartAbandoned: I am so thankful to this community for making me more aware, more educated in all matters that infertility touches. </p> <p>@FaithFertility: It's def harder to keep up when I have 2 little ones too and work; but I really want to try harder to make those little moments count!! </p> <p>@Mrs. Starfish: This, wow yes this. I'm gonna share it on my FB... I think maybe seeing visuals can help people get a little more insight into just what it is like. </p> <p>@snarkybiochemist: Thank you for being so detailed and so honest! I am totally afraid that sometimes I almost act like I know just b/c of all the information I know and all you ladies that share your experiences. But you are right, I don't know and can't know and I def hope to be more respectful of that in the future! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757115 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:24:56 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2757115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HeartAbandoned: @2PeasinaPod: I know, right? It's really well done I think. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757113 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:22:35 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2757113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: Gah...this got me in the feels :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757109 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:15:23 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2757109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As everyone has said it really depends on the person both what helps and what makes them hurt worse. I found that getting information about someone else's pregnancy over email or text as impersonal as it might feel to you was amazing for me. I could process my emotions and not burden someone who was happy with my sadness. Also don't say I know how you feel, I always lashed out at that, either to the person who said it, or my husband later. Finally while infertility can be all consuming and obviously you think about it constantly while going through it, it was really nice to still be a person. I loved when people wanted to talk about work or my dog or whatever else was happening in my life. My favorite question was "how are things?" If I wanted to talk about infertility I could if I wanted to talk about everything but infertility I could, and tactful people understood that if I started talking about work or whatever it meant not to push the infertility conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757097 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 11:02:01 +0000 HeartAbandoned 2757097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Starfish: That is so beautiful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757093 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 10:52:02 +0000 Mrs. Starfish 2757093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just saw this ad the other day and I thought it did a really good job of showing what infertility feels like, and the best way to provide support. Like some others have said, just letting the person know you are there for them if they want to talk is the best in my opinion. A card or flowers on a tough day meant a lot when I was going through the really rough spots. </p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6F_7-sijLA" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6F_7-sijLA</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2757071 Tue, 11 Jul 2017 09:59:21 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2757071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @SweetiePie: in that it depends on the person. I felt really abandoned by my friends and family when I was going through all of my miscarriages. Close friends knew, and my family definitely knew. There was one time where my SIL gave me a card that talked about how strong I was, and that meant the world to me. Anytime I felt down, I read her card. Periodic check ins just to say, "how are you?" were so crucial to me. Unfortunately, my friends acted as if I had the plague, and that was really hurtful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2756816 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 14:07:30 +0000 FaithFertility 2756816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: that is so kind!<br /> It meant the world to me when my friend would check up on me even after a blood draw if she knew in had one that day, little things mean alot!!!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2756801 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 13:40:01 +0000 HeartAbandoned 2756801@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Thank you for asking the question, and @SweetiePie: thank you for answering! I'll be following this post to see what others have to say, as I want to be a sensitive friend, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2756798 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 13:35:03 +0000 snowjewelz 2756798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! No kids for either of them; and I think the toughest part is when you're in church and just surrounded by moms/kids and yeah inevitably I think they get sucked into conversations. I'm taking your advice to heart and will do more of the "Thinking of you" vs asking questions! And maybe try to remember to send random flowers! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2756769 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 12:55:31 +0000 SweetiePie 2756769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really think it just depends on their personality, which only you can judge. I personally didn't like a lot of questions. Just the occasional "thinking of you" text that I could ignore or respond to in as much detail as I wanted was nice (I could ignore, say a simple thanks, or launch into an update if I felt like it).<br /> VS "how are you? Any updates?" I still dislike those texts even from friends and close family. I'm very much a "don't ask me, I'll tell you if I feel like it" kind of person. I don't want to feel like I'm gossip or entertainment or satisfying some kind of curiosity. I like just knowing someone is there when I'm ready and not feeling pressured into talking. </p> <p>One friend did send me flowers after my 2nd miscarriage. That was nice. But I am very close with her and she knew everything. And she knows my personality so she just let me talk when I was ready. </p> <p>Hope this helps! Some people like attention and want to talk a bunch so just try to gauge it by how much they volunteer. </p> <p>Also, if neither of them have kids at all yet, try not to talk about yours a lot. I know it's hard. But I wanted to bash my head into a wall when I'd see a friend and they just talked (or worse, complained) about their kid or pregnancy. That might seem like common sense but you'd be surprised how many do it! Of course I love them and their kids - but it felt like a club I wasn't a part of and felt very lonely when I couldn't contribute anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-my-friends-going-through-infertiliy#post-2756715 Mon, 10 Jul 2017 12:05:46 +0000 snowjewelz 2756715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two real life friends going through infertility. One is pretty open (to us anyway) about it; basically after doing rounds of clomid/IUI and what not, she went to a new doctor and he said she had thin lining so they're trying t amp up the lining. I've checked in with her here &amp; there.</p> <p>I have another friend that so far just has diagnosed infertility due to a few miscarriages. She is definitely feeling bitter/sad, esp now since it was just the due date of her 2nd lost pregnancy. I also just tell her I'm here for her, check up on her, etc. </p> <p>Anything else I can say/do? On mother's day I gave her a gift that I was prepping for all moms at our church and she said she was so touched to be included. </p>