https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 06:13:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-this-friend#post-1155861 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 14:53:46 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1155861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shutterbug: Totally makes sense! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-this-friend#post-1155859 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 14:52:59 +0000 Shutterbug 1155859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: I think you are in the right mindset (be there for her, no suggestions) and actually, being in another state might make it easier for her to open up to you or talk to you about it since it won't be in person. Another thing I'd do is follow her lead on tone... in other words, don't be too optimistic if she's ready to move on, and don't be too sad/pitying if she still has hope. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm not making sense :)</p> <p>ETA: oh, and just for your own peace of mind since you can't really ask her about it, having zero sperm in a semen analysis doesn't *necessarily* mean there are no sperm up in there, just that they aren't getting out. So there's definitely still hope for them. Hugs to your friend, and to you for being there for her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-this-friend#post-1155777 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 14:24:58 +0000 Mrs. Polish 1155777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rainbow Sprinkles: I agree with @justdarling: a friend told me once that she hated infertility and that we were going through it and I kid you not, it was the best thing anyone said to me. The same friend would often text "thinking of you" and her support was exactly what I needed. She never asked what was happening or if I was pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-this-friend#post-1155723 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 14:09:21 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1155723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@justdarling: awesome, thank you. I definitely don't plan on asking questions or dare utter the "just relax" advice that people seem to think is so helpful. </p> <p>Even though she lives in a different state, maybe I will just send her a text or call her and let her know that I am thinking of her and am always available to talk. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-this-friend#post-1155713 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 14:07:31 +0000 justdarling 1155713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who has battled IF for almost 2 years, I think the best thing that you can do is ask her how she is doing. Let her know that you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to. Don't really press it to much, but just be there for her. Knowing that there is someone that you can talk to who isn't going to tell you to "just relax" (or other such crazy advice) is so comforting. It's really the small things that really mean a lot. </p> <p>I had one friend tell me that she was very sorry that we had to go through all of this. That may sound like nothing, but it really touched me. She acknowledged it, didn't press too much, didn't offer suggestions, but in this small way let me know that she was thinking of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-i-support-this-friend#post-1155687 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 14:00:15 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 1155687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH and I are friends with a couple who have been trying to get pregnant for three years. When we first met them, they were in the early stages of TTC. I bought her TCOYF and we talked about our plans of hopefully having babies one day.</p> <p>A year ago, they moved away and had still not gotten pregnant. Three months ago marked three years of actively TTC.</p> <p>I found out last week that her husband's recent sperm analysis showed that he had zero sperm. ZERO.</p> <p>Obviously she is heart-broken and I have no idea what to say to her or how to support her. </p> <p>Is there anything I should say or do? When we talk, what should I say? I just feel so horrible and I know this must be terrible news for them. </p>