https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 11:52:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable/page/2#post-273875 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 17:15:13 +0000 Running Elley 273875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so scared of this….but what has to be done will be done!</p> <p>Ladies who had to have an episiotomy but didn’t have an epidural- did the doctor put anything on you to try to numb before they cut? Or by that point did it not even matter because of the pain of labor? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable/page/2#post-273858 Tue, 28 Aug 2012 16:53:39 +0000 kml636 273858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm starting to really freak out about tearing. LO is 10 weeks away. From what I read, it seems everyone with an epidural ends up with a tear from pushing laying on their backs? I'm scared because I don't know which is worse, the pain of labor or a terrible tear? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable/page/2#post-267201 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 21:12:39 +0000 runsyellowlites 267201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an unmedicated birth and didn't tear at all. DD was 6.1 oz &amp; was a VERY rapid delivery while lying on my side... I said I felt like I needed to push (after 5 contractions bearing down) and 6 minutes later she was here. I didn't feel the ring of fire either. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable/page/2#post-267190 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 20:54:12 +0000 Shimmer 267190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coco Bee: Hey! Yeah, it's pretty hard to believe that I was able to do it! I was told that all factors aligned just right so I could achieve the birth I wanted for my boys. The episiotomy was totally worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable/page/2#post-266181 Wed, 22 Aug 2012 03:41:32 +0000 808love 266181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel any tearing but I surely did need stitches. Perhaps not having to push for three hours straight would help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265885 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 16:21:46 +0000 Honeybee 265885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tore slightly with both babies, and even though I had an epidural, I totally felt the ring of fire with my second. It was super intense! Recovery was a breeze, though; I only needed a few stitches each tima, and I never needed anything stronger than ibuprofen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265877 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 16:16:08 +0000 MegWag 265877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd meant to do perineal massage, but never got around to it. I didn't tear at all and only had a couple of small "grazes". I had Remifentanil (on a self-dosing pump) during the last bit of of my labour, but it ran out and was out of my system for the pushing. I laboured down and only pushed about 5 times for a total of 15 mins or so.<br /> The most important thing was listening to the midwife when she told me to stop pushing and pant as I was crowning. It burned, but was bearable and so worth it not to have any tearing or stitches! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265711 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 13:40:07 +0000 stiffaknee 265711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didnt tear and didn't get an episiotomy...and I had an epidural. My midwife had me stop pushing as LO was crowning and just kind of hold it for a minute. It made the recovery (and the first trip to the bathroom) a breeze! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265618 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 12:07:33 +0000 Arden 265618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My last client did perineal massage for a month leading up to delivery and used oil and hot washcloths during crowing, as well as pushing slowly and taking "breaks", and she didn't tear at all. Big baby too! It is completely possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265541 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 11:06:01 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 265541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tore and by golly did I feel it. That ring of fire is no joke. I ended up getting over 30 stitches. :( LO was 7 lbs and posterior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265537 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 11:03:09 +0000 Mrs. Pen 265537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shimmer: omg you're back!!! You were seriously able to deliver twin boys vaginally?!? You are superhero mama!!! Amazing woman!!! Contests :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265532 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 10:55:18 +0000 Mrs. Pen 265532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm seriously laughing at all the advice to "labor down". I know I'm the minority here, but with a 4 hour labor when you go from 5cm to 10cm on one hour there is no such thing as laboring down lol the baby comes when it comes!!!! :):) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265516 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 10:38:45 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 265516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*Face: Palm* Thanks for all your awesome answers ladies....but some things I wish I never asked :/ I just went from super impatient to "this baby can stay forever!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265513 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 10:35:57 +0000 purrpletulips 265513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had either a 3rd or 4th degree episiotomy (can't remember which) with an epi and didn't feel it but did feel the stitches afterwards since the epi had been turned off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265503 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 10:29:35 +0000 rachiecakes 265503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remember saying to my doctor, "I'm going to tear, right?" at one of my late appointments, haha<br /> I needed an episiotomy (DS was huge and posterior) with a lot of stitches and didn't feel it. It wasn't bad healing either though it's now numb and has weird sensation where the internal scar is, no external scar at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265425 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 09:23:39 +0000 Mrsbells 265425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From what I researched, if you labor down and dont push right away you reduce risk of tearing, also certain excercises and perineal massage are supposed to help. I know people that gave birth and didnt tear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265409 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 09:09:51 +0000 Shimmer 265409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I ended up with a 3rd degree episiotomy with an epi. They gave me a bolus so I wouldn't feel it and I didn't! I had to deliver my boys via forceps so the episiotomy was necessary since Benjamin's heart rate was too fast at the end.</p> <p>Honestly, less than a week later with Percocet, motrin, and the comfort measures they gave me at the hospital, I'm moving around pretty well and feel discomfort rather than pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265347 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 08:03:53 +0000 LivsMama 265347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Shudder. Im so glad I had a c-section.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265285 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 04:41:51 +0000 cvbee 265285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>GOT AN EPISIOTOMY AND DIDN'T FEEL IT: NO EPI<br /> It actually felt amazing because then the baby flew out!!!! He did a little freezing before the cut and said I would feel a 'pinch' but compared to the labour pains, i felt no pinch.<br /> Didn't even hurt when healing up, by the way. Only issue was the scar tissue (or that the doc made the hole smaller?) for the first month of sex...I felt like I'd never be able to fit a penis in there again, but now it's all good. </p> <p>How do you not tear? Have a 5 pound baby. My aunt had twins vaginally and did not tear because they were tiny. Edit: but I see that was not the case for Mrs. Bee! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265284 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 04:20:17 +0000 Penny Lane 265284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had minor tears on the inside of the labia minora, the midwife said they were basically grazes. They were debating whether to bother doing stitches or not. My midwife supported the perineum while I was pushing which probably helped. I had no meds until the stitching at the end, when they gave me a local but I still totally felt the stitching. </p> <p>I did push on my back and only pushed for an hour before he was out </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265270 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 03:08:32 +0000 looch 265270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did perineal massage every day from 34 weeks. I didn't tear in the lower area, but I did tear in the upper area and needed about 4 stitches. I didn't feel the tearing at all, but I did feel the stitching. It wasn't painful, but the pulling of the sutures was tough. I winced a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265269 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 03:05:42 +0000 DigAPony 265269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Labor down and practice perineal massage before and during labor! Also second what @Minnie_Girl wrote: "Try to avoid birthing on your back, because it doesn't allow your pelvis to open up fully...making it more likely a doctor will tell you that you "need" an episiotomy to make room. Our bodies are designed to stretch, if they're given the chance!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265265 Tue, 21 Aug 2012 01:58:05 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 265265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>None here. Laboring down = good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265241 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 23:46:35 +0000 BoogieBea 265241@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tore both times, no epi. I didn't feel the tearing either times. I only felt the tugging and pulling of the stitching but didn't feel any pain. Perhaps I was so desensitized from the pain already. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265237 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 23:23:09 +0000 Mrs. Bee 265237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i had a second degree tear with no episiotomy with olive, and she was only 4 lbs 15oz! I didn't feel the tear, but boy did I feel the stitches. Ouch!!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265232 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 23:04:15 +0000 mrs. wagon 265232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my first, tore but not towards the rectum... I tore up. Much easier to recover from since the pee doesn't hit it. Many stitches. Huge head, 8 lb baby. Epi failed but I didn't notice tearing... Just lots of pain. Pushed for 3 hours without crowning, so I tore when they pulled him out with the vacuum. </p> <p>Second time around I felt zero! Spinal cath worked great. One tiny tear, one small stitch. Again big head (but not nearly as big as the first), 8 lb baby, pushed for 15 min on my side then delivered on my back. </p> <p>Did kegels religiously both pregnancies, in the last weeks only. I'm convinced this is why I tore upwards with my first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265204 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 21:58:37 +0000 HabesBabe 265204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel the actual tearing (LO was 8lb, 13 oz and I had 2nd degree tears), but I sure did feel getting stitched up afterwards... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265202 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 21:57:14 +0000 EloiseKE 265202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tore, but only needed 2 little stitches. Honestly, if you plan to push without pain relief you're going to be feeling so much pressure, pushing is a relief and you can't really tell if you're tearing. I couldn't anyway. My midwife used something that looked like olive oil to help me out when my daughter was crowning.<br /> ETA: My daughter was almost 9 pounds, tearing varies so much from person to person. But don't worry about it now! Once you're in the moment it's all just leading to the grand finale :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265200 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 21:49:54 +0000 PrincessBaby 265200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Muggle Born: I learned to google "vaginal birth with epidural" and it made a BIG difference in how traumatized I was. The epi vaginal birth videos were not as scary/loud/intense. I liked them:) I googled C-section too just to cover all my research, and that freaked me out too. I'm open to one, but they are not the "no big deal" that I thought they were. YouTube = Traumatizing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-can-you-not-tear-it-seems-inevitable#post-265191 Mon, 20 Aug 2012 21:37:08 +0000 twinmama 265191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Had an epi. Progressed quickly and only pushed about 15 min. My OB worked the tissue as she could and had me blow through some pushes, but still had a pretty jagged second degree tear that took a good while to stitch back up. My bigger baby was 6-12. Oh and didnt feel the tear or stitches.</p> <p>Honestly the healing hasnt bothered me much and I havent taken more than ibuprofen. No pain sitting or peeing. My hemmrhoid bugs me more ;) </p>