https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 00:36:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2178307 Thu, 14 May 2015 13:13:40 +0000 raintreebee 2178307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@andthewildones: My brother is older. Our oldest brother, who recently passed away, was two years older than him. They were never close, but I was always close to both of them. I couldn't have been closer to them really, despite the 5 and 7 year age gaps. The only thing that was tough was feeling a bit lonely in high school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177865 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:41:25 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2177865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My two are just under two years apart. It's been surprisingly easy. We'd like a big family and I'm 34 so we've got to get to it.<br /> My career and our bank account will take the hit for a few years but I figured in 25 years I'm not going to regret having a smaller savings account, but I would regret not having a large family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177833 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:33:57 +0000 andthewildones 2177833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raintreebee: who is older? i'm so anxious to see the dynamic between these two. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177817 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:27:21 +0000 lamariniere 2177817@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: very similar. Mine are almost exactly 3 years apart. Initially I wanted to TTC LO2 earlier, for a 2-2.5 year gap, but it just wasn't the right timing. Ultimately, the 3 year gap has worked really well for us. The older LO was potty trained, in full time daycare and a bit less dependent than he would have been at 2. They are now 4yo and almost 18 months and they actually play together and seem to enjoy one another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177764 Thu, 14 May 2015 09:02:16 +0000 raintreebee 2177764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@andthewildones: My brother and I are five years apart, and we've always been super close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177761 Thu, 14 May 2015 08:59:50 +0000 photojane 2177761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no interest in an age gap less than 2.5 years. 3-4 years is ideal to me. My brother has 3 under 3 and it looks exhausting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177752 Thu, 14 May 2015 08:53:49 +0000 andthewildones 2177752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscobee: man, i might be the only one around here with two that will have an almost five year gap. nervous! :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177745 Thu, 14 May 2015 08:50:43 +0000 kristinleigh 2177745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are probably going to start trying for #2 when our first LO turns 1.. just because it took 19 cycles to concieve and if that happens again, at least there won't be a huge age gap.. and if it does happen right away, then that's fine too! But LO #1 isn't even here yet sooo things could change, haha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177739 Thu, 14 May 2015 08:46:01 +0000 raintreebee 2177739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In an ideal world, I would probably like a 3 year age gap so that the other one is more independent. But I am newly pregnant with #2, and they will be almost exactly 2 years apart. We felt we didn't have a choice to wait since I am 37 and plagued by fertility issues (it took me 2 years to get my first). I am so thrilled but also scared! I am a WOHM mom though so I won't be dealing with them 24/7. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177599 Wed, 13 May 2015 23:08:57 +0000 jedeve 2177599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: I read that when I was pregnant with #2. (He was a surprise so I didn't choose the spacing.) and he did come early at 36 weeks. He has done really well though, so far! I did wean lo1 in the next few days after I read that. I think I "bounced back" but I've also been pregnant and/or nursing every day for over three years. I could use a break! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177082 Wed, 13 May 2015 14:00:37 +0000 Mrs.Scientist 2177082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with LO#2, who will be 18 months younger than LO#1. We ideally wanted an 18-24 month age gap and it ended up happening immediately for us when we decided we'd start NTNP. Like @lawbee11 I am a full-time WOH mother with a pretty demanding career, but I guess I have a different perspective. For me I would rather get the years with all the illnesses out of the way as quick as possible earlier in my career rather than drawing it out over a longer period of time. I figure there will be a lot of times where both are sick at once (which will suck) and for times when one or both LOs are sick enough that they can't go to day care but not that sick (e.g. mystery fevers), we plan to have a handful of on-call babysitters (part-time staff of our day care) to come so neither DH or I have to take time off from work. As far as day care costs, it's going to suck having to pay for two at the same time, but we have been setting aside money specifically to help pay for the cost of LO#2 so it shouldn't be too much of a financial hit for us if we can continue setting aside at the same rate we are now.</p> <p>Since LO#2 hasn't arrived yet I don't know how I will feel about caring for two 18 months apart, but I figure no matter what the age gap there will be challenges and I'm mentally preparing for it to be hard. So far being pregnant with a 1 year old hasn't been bad and my second pregnancy has actually been easier thank my first, aside from the MS I had in the first trimester. </p> <p>I think it really is a matter of preferences and there is no right or wrong answer. It's just a matter of weighing your perceived pros and cons to different spacing options and doing what you think is best for you mentally and physically, as well as for your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2177013 Wed, 13 May 2015 13:13:39 +0000 jhd 2177013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always imagined having two close together, especially since I planned to SAH for a few years. LO is 12.5 months and has had some major health concerns so the idea of #2 is not off the table, but DH and I aren't in a place to really discuss it yet.</p> <p>I really like to hear everyone's perspectives on this. But it is definitely a "do what is best for you and your family" type of situation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176960 Wed, 13 May 2015 12:44:09 +0000 skipra 2176960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 20 months apart and I feel like it's hard in different ways from having twins so you can't really compare it. I love the gap but I do kind of feel my first was still too much of a baby when he became a big brother and it forced him to grow up too soon. Our relationship changed a lot and it kind of makes me sad. We will probably try for a third but with a 2-2.5 year gap this time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176947 Wed, 13 May 2015 12:38:46 +0000 avivoca 2176947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always wanted a 2-year age gap, but when H was a year old I was nowhere ready to have another baby. Now I'd like around a 2.5-3-year gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176914 Wed, 13 May 2015 12:22:34 +0000 kjpugs 2176914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm excited to have kids 22 months apart for some reasons, but I am nervous for others. Twins, in many ways, are easier than close together siblings, as they have different needs and abilities. When feeding one infant twin you don't have to worry about the other climbing the cabinets. You don't have to feed one solids and clean up after all their messes (omg the toddler messes.) You don't have to worry about one twin HITTING the other one because they think it's funny to wake up someone by hitting them. (OMG I NEED TO BREAK HER OF THIS.) But, as they get older, I do think having kids closer together is easier, as they can become close and each others' playmates. I would have preferred a little more spacing (more like 2.5-3 years) if I REALLY thought about it but I have back problems, a difficult pregnancy with #1, and it took us a while trying for #1. We were shocked and thrilled to get a BFP on our first month trying for #2. A little closer together than we anticipated in an "ideal" world, but I am excited! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176903 Wed, 13 May 2015 12:18:04 +0000 NurseDMB 2176903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>2 years apart was my minimum. I can't imagine having kids any closer than that, but everyone is different. I think it probably depends on your first kid's temperament, too. </p> <p>My DS is 21 months (birthday end of July) and I'm due with DS #2 in October, so they will be a little over 2 years apart. I'm a little scared, not going to lie! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176715 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:42:59 +0000 mrscobee 2176715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamasig: Yes, you never know. Luckily my pregnancy has been pretty easy thus far (knock on wood), though I have a ways to go. I'm thinking if something is hard for me, I will just try to stick to the plan anyway, but you do never know! Just crossing my fingers that all goes well enough for me to try for that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176713 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:40:25 +0000 Mamasig 2176713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscobee: Before kids DH and I decided that we wanted our kids close together. Well my 1st pregnancy was super hard (no complications just huge and EVERYTHING hurt), and I just dreaded being pregnant again. But we stuck with the game plan and my 2nd pregnancy was 100 times easier though I did have complications (GD and low fluid). And like I said before I love age gap (20 months). I got off the pill when DS2 was 9 months, gave myself a couple of months, and bam pregnant by DS1's 1st bday. </p> <p>My point is you just never know! I wanted to get the baby stage over with too. I didn't want to be out of the diaper stage and have to go back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176673 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:20:08 +0000 Alba4 2176673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm newly pregnant and my kids will be @ 2 years 4 months apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176670 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:19:18 +0000 BlueWolverine 2176670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted them to be about 2 years apart, but it took forever for DH to decide he actually wanted a second one (DD was 18mo) and we're having issues with secondary infertility. If I do manage to get pregant, they'll be at least three years apart. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176663 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:16:23 +0000 travellingbee 2176663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine will be 34 months apart. We were shooting for closer to 2 years apart but now I'm glad for the bigger gap. He's a handful right now. 2 is no joke! Hoping he'll be potty trained and less explosive by then!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176656 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:12:13 +0000 mrscobee 2176656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Ha! I'm opposite! I had the option to have kids in my 20s but didn't. I have way way way more patience at age 30 that I ever did at age 25! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids/page/2#post-2176649 Wed, 13 May 2015 10:08:15 +0000 looch 2176649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I was in the position of having children when I was in my 20s, I probably would have had them in quick succession. My logic for that is that I was able to bounce back physically much faster and I had much more patience than I do now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176629 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:55:07 +0000 twodoghouse 2176629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well my first and second are nine minutes apart. :wink: If we were to have a third it would be a long time down the line - like 3 years at least. We are sort of traumatized by the first year with twins with sleeping issues (exacerbated by eating issues) and need a break. I'm not done breastfeeding yet, but I want a good long break before I'd have to turn my body over to another human being again. I want to be able to eat and drink what I want without having to worry about it affecting my kids. Also, I would want my older kids to be old enough to enjoy a younger sibling, of that makes sense? Like have enough awareness to know they are getting a younger sibling and be excited. My friend had children 3 years apart and her son was just in love with the idea of getting a little sister. We are probably done so this is all moot, but my thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176619 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:45:59 +0000 mrscobee 2176619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: I'm due in early September. I get that it could totally change my plan for sure :) . And I get that no matter what my plan is, TTC could be difficult, although hoping it wouldn't take more than a few months like it did this time (4-5 months). </p> <p>DH and I always just envisioned having our kids close together, so even if I am miserable (with caring for the infant), I feel like I'll still just tell myself to go for it (that is if my body is ready physically and I'm able to get pregnant fairly easily again). </p> <p>We did wait several years into our marriage to try for LO#1 based on the premise that we would try for 2-3 kids really close together and then be done, so we are pretty committed to trying to follow our plan :) . I'm 30, and DH is 29, so we have time, but maybe not as much as if we had gotten started 3-5 years ago? </p> <p>It is amazing how many I know IRL who have like one a year for 3-4 years, and then they are done, and it all turns out fine, so we never thought our goals for 2-3 in quick succession were unreasonable, but then I started reading here more and realized it isn't always so simple!</p> <p>But it sounds like from reading the comments there are many pros and cons to many different levels of spacing, and you just do what is right / possible for you and then make it work. </p> <p>I think I am going to approach it that I am thankful for this first child, and then will try for another one when he is about 8-9 months old (barring anything major or unforeseen happening) and then I will go from there as far as making a decision about a 3rd... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176617 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:45:49 +0000 ShootingStar 2176617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We originally wanted about a 2 year age gap, but I think we'll end up with more like 2.5-3. When we had DS we had a much smaller and less expensive house. We've since moved and we realized there was no way we could swing daycare for 2 on top of everything else unless we waited a little bit longer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176596 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:33:45 +0000 catlady 2176596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We wanted to wait until 18 months before TTC again because we read the same thing that @daniellemybelle mentioned, that it is healthiest for a woman if she gets at least 18 months to recover from pregnancy before getting pregnant again. Now that LO is 19 months, I'm glad we waited. I am in awe of people who do 2 under 2, because we are just barely making it with one. We're thinking of trying for an age gap between 2.5 and 3 years, and we still feel kind of crazy for thinking about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176591 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:31:44 +0000 mrsrain 2176591@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrscobee: When is LO#1 due? Sounds like you have a good plan, but if there is one thing to take away from this thread it would be that having a baby may completely change your plan! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176582 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:28:11 +0000 mrscobee 2176582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsrain: These are a lot of my theoretical reasons for wanting them close together (even though LO#1 isn't even here yet)! Except I won't be SAHM, so daycare will be financially hard, but not so hard that we can't make it through that temporary situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-close-together-would-you-have-your-kids#post-2176581 Wed, 13 May 2015 09:27:40 +0000 Keybee 2176581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Less than 2 years is my goal. I hope that if they are close in age they will be better friends. </p>