https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:38:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions/page/2#post-1948336 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 21:01:22 +0000 LindsayInNY 1948336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depends... DH and a friend of his are completely open with salary and whatnot. They're in the same field but different levels. He also is open with his parents about income. I am not. My family thinks were like Scrooge McDuck rolling around in money when that's hardly the case! I'd rather not give them any ammo. They don't see how we spend, save, etc. </p> <p>The same friend above's wife loves to ask me about my engagement and wedding rings. I'm proud of my rings but she will blatantly ask the size of them. And has done this more than once. She did this past weekend and was like what is it X carats? She guessed smaller so I felt like I had to tell her the real size even though I have nothing to prove. It drives me insane. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions/page/2#post-1948331 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 20:55:48 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1948331@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not comfortable with money questions that have NO purpose except being nosey. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions/page/2#post-1948300 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 20:34:54 +0000 fairy 1948300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom does our taxes and was an accountant, so she knows everything about our finances. I don't really consider that to be super personal with her or close family, and I have no problem sharing it. I think it depends on the person asking. I am pretty much an open book, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions/page/2#post-1948256 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 20:11:05 +0000 Bao 1948256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very open! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions/page/2#post-1948179 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:44:02 +0000 Kemma 1948179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind talking in "round figures" but I don't generally give out specific numbers unless it's a close friend or for a particular purpose. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1948169 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:36:37 +0000 Mrs.KMM 1948169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind those kinds of questions from family and close friends. Heck - my MIL is an accountant and does our taxes. Clearly she knows all about our finances! And my family has always been pretty open about finances and such which I think has helped me learn how to better manage my own money.</p> <p>I wouldn't appreciate those types of questions from strangers or co-workers or whatever though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1948108 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 17:24:12 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 1948108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alohaorchid I just tell my parents "we aren't comfortable talking about such topics". Eventually they get tired of asking. Maybe you just need to be blunt with your mom? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1948054 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 16:26:58 +0000 Ra 1948054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm an open book. There isn't much that makes me uncomfortable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1948047 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 16:22:54 +0000 Astro Bee 1948047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@AlohaOrchid: Ugh! That sounds like she wants to know just for the sake of knowing (or judging, if the case may be). I'd be uncomfortable about that, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1948021 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 16:03:14 +0000 Raindrop 1948021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alohaorchid: Ah okay well that's different. Sorry to hear she's giving you the third degree! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1948003 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:55:22 +0000 alohaorchid 1948003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: My mom has no advice, she's just nosy. She's never worked and doesn't know a thing about money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947992 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:51:19 +0000 BKCaribBaby 1947992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't talk about the specifics of any money related activities with friends or family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947985 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:47:14 +0000 PurplePumps 1947985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alohaorchid: I think how much you put down and how much your mortgage is is public information too, at least in my state it is so I'd have no problem sharing that. If they REALLY wanted to know, all they have to do is go look it up in the registry of deeds.<br /> I won't share my income or how much we have in savings/assests, but I would share what I paid for anything. I don't share about my personal health issues either... no one knows we are doing IVF except two of my friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947980 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:45:45 +0000 Ms.Badger 1947980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both my DH and I are very open with our families about all financial things. My dad and sister are tax accountants and one does our tax return every year. We both are also pretty well aware of our parents' financial situations, including approximate salaries, home values, mortgage, and retirement plans. My parents have also been very honest about how carefully they had to budget while we were growing up. I think being from a family that is pretty open about all money matters helped teach me how to correctly and incorrectly manage money and how to make responsible money decisions. Plus, I have a sense of freedom knowing both my parents and DH's parents have saved well for retirement and, barring extreme unforeseen circumstances, will not need financial help for a long time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947966 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:40:45 +0000 Raindrop 1947966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it's my mom... I would definitely answer her. I think she probably just wants make sure you are making the right choices and maybe *might* give you advice if she feels should could be helpful. At least that's what our parents do. I think as a parent you are always watching out for your kid... which is why I think your mom is giving you the third degree. Haha.</p> <p>Now people outside of my direct family... Yeah I would not be comfortable with telling. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947962 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:38:37 +0000 Adira 1947962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Smart. We don't even make more than the in-laws and they make comments like this. But their house is paid off and they don't have a kid (almost two) in daycare, so they just don't get it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947960 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:38:01 +0000 Astro Bee 1947960@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are okay with telling our parents what we paid for a house or a vehicle, but not finer detail about downpayments or payment schedule. We definitely don't discuss what we pay for other luxuries, such as vacations. </p> <p>Our salaries are both online (Gov't of Canada), but I still don't advertise them. I did tell my mom what my cousin's husband makes (same job and pay as us, more or less), because she kept saying how her sister is always saying how little money my cousin and her husband have. It was driving me crazy. My aunt is very clueless about finances - my uncle gives her what she "needs." Whether my mom shared that info with her or not, I really didn't care, as long as my mom stopped relaying my aunt's concern to me. In any case, it's all public information, anyway. Suffice it to say, they are doing quite well, but are using money as an excuse not to visit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947959 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:37:56 +0000 erinpye 1947959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alohaorchid: it makes you feel uncomfortable because she's crossing your boundaries. Any time someone's question makes you uncomfortable, flustered, sick to your stomach, nervous, angry, etc, it's your body telling you they're crossing your boundaries. She has no right to that info, and you're under no obligation to ignore your body's reaction and answer her. </p> <p>It depends on who it is, but I'm a fairly open person with those who are close to me. There are some things though, like finances, arguments with DH, things I feel are very private, that I'll only rarely discuss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947950 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:33:09 +0000 blackbird 1947950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: aaand this is why we aren't open with family, especially DH's. We know we make more, so we are tactful about keeping it to ourselves </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947939 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:26:22 +0000 Corduroy 1947939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I were always very private about finances until my parents offered to help us with our home purchase. We essentially opened our books to them completely. I had the need to show them that we could do it on our own and desire to show them the difference their help would make. They've never asked any follow up questions. </p> <p>It would bother me if someone just wanted to know out of curiosity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947938 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:26:07 +0000 Adira 1947938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm generally pretty open about this kind of stuff, but sometimes it does backfire. Hubs and I both make a decent amount because we're engineers, but some people seem to think we have a swimming pool full of cash and don't seem to realize that things like our mortgage + daycare eat up a big chunk of our take-home pay. So it can be annoying talking to people sometimes because they'll keep saying "You can afford _____!" when we really can't. But I feel weirder refusing NOT to tell people (family/friends) if they ask. I don't want it to feel like I'm keeping a secret, because I don't feel I have a reason to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947924 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:21:49 +0000 sunshineandsushi 1947924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind sharing how much our house was because like others have said, that's public record anyway. I do not share DH or my salary info with family or friends. It's just private to me. My dad used to know when I was more fresh out of college, but I have stopped telling him. I share news when I get promotions or raises, but I don't say how much in $$ amounts. I have said it what the raise % was though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947912 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:17:33 +0000 ShootingStar 1947912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really care about finance stuff. I talk about that stuff with my parents no problem. They know exactly how much we paid for the house and how much we put down, and even gave us a good chunk of money for the downpayment. But I don't really want to go into how much ;). However I did find it uncomfortable when DH's aunt and cousin were over to our new house for the first time and started asking personal questions about our double shower :meh: . </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947901 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:13:41 +0000 looch 1947901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not very open, especially with finances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947897 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:12:33 +0000 sunny 1947897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am pretty open. I love sharing a good deal if someone asks or needs help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947895 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:11:51 +0000 Anagram 1947895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have no problem telling our parents those things. I would tell friends, too. Randoms or people who are barely acquaintances, I would skirt the issue, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947888 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:10:37 +0000 Ajsmommy 1947888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pretty open here.. except about my salary... Idk why. But when we were buying our house everyone and their mother knew how much it was and everything else! I even mentioned it to my husband how we dont' know what our friends paid but they know what we paid... I guess it just depends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947886 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:10:25 +0000 Shutterbug 1947886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@alohaorchid: I don't think it's so bad! At least not on your part, I mean. It's all about the person's motives for asking, and how they react to the answers they get, to me at least. If they're asking so they can condescend to you about your answer, or tell you you're dumb for doing xyz, etc, it makes you not want to offer up that info. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947879 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:08:35 +0000 alohaorchid 1947879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents know everything about my brother and his wife and their finances. What they make, what they put down on their house, what their monthly payments are, the amounts of their car payments, credit card limits, etc. They feel that as parents it's their "right" to know this kind of stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-comfortable-are-you-with-personal-questions#post-1947875 Mon, 17 Nov 2014 15:07:47 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 1947875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mind the personal questions if it's for a purpose. Like, you are looking in the same neighborhood and want to know what to expect, etc. I don't like those kinds of questions if you are just being nosy. I think information is important so I don't mind sharing of it'll help you, but if you just want to judge and compare, I'm not cool with that. </p>