https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 27 May 2026 20:33:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-2181808 Mon, 18 May 2015 12:45:33 +0000 Bea 2181808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Looks like you have a lot of good responses here. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-2181716 Mon, 18 May 2015 11:22:20 +0000 sera_87 2181716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One word: </p> <p>Ninjas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-2181650 Mon, 18 May 2015 10:29:13 +0000 cat620 2181650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just wanted to say that I've been in the same situation numerous times. My father died suddenly, and I got asked all the time how he died. I thought as I got older people would take less interest in his death, but even now that I'm married with a child, I still get asked by friends and my husband's family about his death. I sometimes say that he was sick, which he was, but then they ask what he was sick with. Some people aren't very sensitive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1988092 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 09:57:16 +0000 raintreebee 1988092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone for your condolences and good advice. I think I now have enough respectful but straightforward responses that I won't dread talking to people. Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987703 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 22:59:02 +0000 Trailmix 1987703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so so sorry. No experience but seems like others have some good advice. *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987698 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 22:55:22 +0000 birdofafeather 1987698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987642 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 22:02:44 +0000 stiletto_mom 1987642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I 100% agree with Lulu. </p> <p>People who ask about it are just trying to wrap their minds around it so they can connect to you. I really think what she said would be the best response if you aren't comfortable with sharing it.</p> <p>"We lost him/her suddenly and I'm not ready to talk about it." Should be more than enough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987633 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:52:06 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1987633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987620 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:39:21 +0000 winniebee 1987620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987606 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:24:40 +0000 littleblessings 1987606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lost my cousin to suicide. I keep getting: why did he do it? How old is he? How did he die? It's horrible </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987499 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 19:52:44 +0000 Ree723 1987499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. Loads of other pp have given you great suggestions, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987307 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 17:21:21 +0000 alohaorchid 1987307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss :heart: </p> <p>I would just tell them that you don't want to talk about it and leave it at that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987269 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:59:30 +0000 spaniellove 1987269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm very very sorry for your loss. That's inappropriate for people to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987196 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:22:51 +0000 FliegepilzHut 1987196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so terribly sorry. :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987194 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:20:56 +0000 MrsKoala 1987194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so so sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987192 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:20:38 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1987192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> <p>Agree @LuLu Mom: @lamariniere: this is a common question that people ask trying to make sense of someone's passing. For a close survivor though, it's hardly a question that one wants to answer. "Casual" mourners should really seek out people other than immediate family or super close friends to get answers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987189 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:20:05 +0000 BSB 1987189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what I would say. Hugs to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987178 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:13:31 +0000 lamariniere 1987178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: Totally agree. I lost my mom when I was in my late 20s and it was also sudden/unexpected. I find that people who asked questions were genuinely trying to process and show empathy. Like others have said, I would go with a brief, "it was an accident" or "it was very sudden" and leave it at that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987158 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:02:02 +0000 mrs. wagon 1987158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. If I were you I would keep it to "it was very sudden" and if they pressed you on it, I would just say "that's all I feel comfortable sharing" or just a dirty look... if they aren't sensitive enough to get the hint after the first sentence then they don't deserve a composed response. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987149 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:58:17 +0000 LuLu Mom 1987149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think this question happens when the death is sudden and people are trying to figure it out and wrap their head around the situation. I don't' think they mean to be rude or insensitive but it is hard not to take it that way. I've lost 2 people due to unfortunate circumstances (one to suicide and the other to a freak accident that was a huge local news story at the time.) And when I wasn't ready to talk about either I would say "we lost him/her suddenly and I'm not ready to talk about it." most people backed off seeing it was a sensitive situation. If that didn't work I would just say "honestly it's a family matter and I would rather not discuss it" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987148 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:57:19 +0000 kentuckygirl 1987148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raintreebee: I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you &amp; your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987142 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:54:13 +0000 edelweiss 1987142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i'm so sorry. i think the above suggestions and anything along the line of "i'd rather not discuss it" is fine. i'm sorry that people are asking you that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987134 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:51:18 +0000 pui 1987134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>I'd just answer with "that's personal". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987122 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:42:32 +0000 .twist. 1987122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: I agree. There is nothing wrong with telling them you don't want to discuss it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987109 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:37:17 +0000 rachiecakes 1987109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: I'm so sorry</p> <p>I would probably say something like, "it was sudden and I still am not comfortable talking about it" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987094 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:31:47 +0000 sweetooth 1987094@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss. :heart: </p> <p>I think I would say something like, "I'm not discussing the details of this personal event. Please don't ask again." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987092 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:31:14 +0000 MapleMoose 1987092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for your loss.<br /> I would just say "I don't want to discuss the details, but thank you for your sympathy." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987085 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:27:30 +0000 blackbird 1987085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh i'm so sorry for your loss</p> <p>One of my biggest regrets was not telling people to MYOB when it was fresh. Because I quickly learned that people were just nosy, and didn't really give a shit. .</p> <p>Now i just say, "i really don't want to discuss it" or "it's quite personal" if i don't want to give them a simple "it was a car accident". Sometimes people still push that and now I just truncate that conversation. </p> <p>You do NOT owe anyone an answer. AT ALL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987083 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:27:12 +0000 Ajsmommy 1987083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd avoid the question and just say it was very sudden. if they don't get the hint then I'd just stare at them. It's a very personal question and situation and you should only say what you feel comfortable saying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-he-die#post-1987081 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:24:30 +0000 Greentea 1987081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just lost my dad to suicide. I am sorry for your loss.</p> <p>If someone asked and I didn't feel like saying, I responded that his health declined in the last year, which in our case was true. </p>