https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 09:34:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it/page/2#post-441861 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:27:41 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 441861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: omgosh honey-I HATED BFing. It was so hard and...just inconvenient. I basically kept telling myself it would get better so to stick it out. I can finally say that at 8weeks, it is AWESOME. I can't believe I just wrote that. I went through hell and back with BFing, so I never thought i'd like it. But now it is super easy and really, very nice:)<br /> I'd do exactly what you're doing....just take baby steps and keep extending your goal. Pretty soon you'll get to the point where you are both naturals at it. Seriously-I promise. If it worked for me, it'll work for anyone!<br /> *But, I do pump whenever I can as well...just so if I have my moments when I need a BFing break, I can thaw some milk and give LO his bottle. I always need that option. Hey-I even have formula in the cupboards just in case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it/page/2#post-441852 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:20:52 +0000 kakimochi 441852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this is my 2nd child; i'm at the 2 week mark, and she was &lt;6 lb, and had lost 10 oz in the hospital, and since bf was a lot of exercise for DD who would doze in the middle of a feed, i was told to supplement with my pumped bm. we at first used the syringe, but resorted to a bottle. i was happy that i got to give bf a break because it was so hard and painful. i've been pumping, and using formula, and i'm much happier than the stress i was putting on myself to bf. i went through the same stress with my 1st one (who is 2 now), and i just didn't enjoy her for 2 months. now with this one, i promised myself that i wouldn't stress myself out so much over bm/bf/formula, and to JUST enjoy her, so i've given up on bf'ing, i'm going to pump til' the end of the month, and then completely switch to formula. i'm so much happier with my decision, and instead of cringing when i see my baby, i can truly honestly love and enjoy her, and smile when i see her. and honestly, it's great that my husband feeds her, and i can get those breaks too, and i'm not the sole source of her nutrition. </p> <p>i feel a wee bit of guilt, but really, for the most part, now that this is my 2nd baby, i know that she'll turn out just fine whether she's formula fed or breast fed, and I'm so much more relaxed and happier this time around. i don't see anything selfish in the act, because at the end of the day, you're doing what's best for you and for your baby, it's YOUR baby, it's YOUR body, it's YOUR sanity. and it's not like you are neglecting your baby, you're still waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, and doing all the things you know your baby needs to grow and flourish. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it/page/2#post-441851 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:20:30 +0000 prettylizy 441851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're doing great mama, and I agree with PP's, it gets easier, the first few weeks are a real was IMO. I remember sitting on the couch, smelling like ick, covered in milk dripping everywhere and just thinking this is awful. I was there, sobbing while she was trying to eat, killing myself over how much she was getting, then finally it just seemed to get easier and easier. Give it time, it does get easier I promise! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it/page/2#post-441845 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:16:46 +0000 lollipop 441845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bfing went pretty well for me for the first month and i was patting myself in the back and then something happened and it went all wrong at the second month. LO went on a nursing strike and refused to nurse etc. long story short, i was crying after every feeding attempt (every 2-3hrs) for 4 weeks before i called it quit. I kept telling myself one more day, one more day but i was completely miserable. I went to see a lc who thought i should call the mental health crisis hotline so i could talk to somebody. When i finally quit at 3.5 months, i felt like a rock has been lifted off my shoulders. The guilt was and is still there somewhat but looking back, i think the bfing issues really prevented me from bonding with my daughter. You need to do what is best for you and your little one and there is nothing wrong with formula. You gave it your best shot. Having a happy mommy will be best for your LO in the end too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it/page/2#post-441837 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 17:09:28 +0000 ninja 441837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't love breastfeeding for the first 4 weeks, but I just kept telling myself that I would just do one more day. Now at almost 7 weeks, I enjoy our time together nursing and the pain stopped around 5 weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it/page/2#post-441744 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:43:39 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 441744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I hate washing bottles. I hate worrying if they are clean, if they have soap spots on them, if I have the right nipple size, if I have all the parts when I need to go somewhere. I hate it. The idea of getting up in the middle of the night and getting a bottle out gives me hives. This is probably one of the main reasons I still nurse! I also like not having to take anything with me to feed him. Yes, it is a pain to find a place to nurse in public but equally annoying to find water to put in a bottle, a place/way to warm it up.....ugh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441741 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:41:39 +0000 yoursilverlining 441741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you switch to formula 100%, don't ever feel like you're making a selfish decision or not doing what is best for your child. Formula is not subpar food for babies; it gives them every bit of the vitamins and minerals that they need. Women have always had issues breastfeeding; so you’re certainly not a failure in any way if it doesn’t work out for you. </p> <p>IRL I've never had any comments whatsoever about formula feeding, and when I read ridic comments here about how women should cut everything out of their diet and plow ahead with something that isn't working for them, isn't working for their LO, is painful, etc. - basically go to the ends of earth to breastfeed if they really want to provide the best options for their LOs...well I mentally tell them to go pound sand and move on with my life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441735 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:37:01 +0000 littlebug 441735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no experience yet, as I'm still 4+ weeks away from baby's arrival, but I just wanted to chime in and say that quitting breastfeeding is NOT selfish! If it makes you feel better and feel like a more confident and connected mama, then it is the right decision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441714 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:29:34 +0000 smocks 441714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bebefly: Sorry to hear about your brother :( but I agree with your point, it really is different from person to person.</p> <p>Same goes for "intelligence" - being breastfed isn't going to MAKE your baby smarter or less smart. My DH is a year away from becoming a doctor and he was completely formula fed as a baby. </p> <p>Good luck! Hang in there, and try not to feel guilty over whatever decision you make, there is no wrong choice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441708 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:27:31 +0000 Beebug 441708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: My goal right now (LO is between 7 and 8 weeks right now) is to make to it Jan 1st. Just get through the holidays (we will be traveling, and I don't want to do bottles and formula traveling) and go from there. I may set a new date after that, but we will see.</p> <p>I had a freak out around the 3w mark where the pain, and all of it was effdamn awful, I also don't like the nekkid part and feel like a blob. </p> <p>Day by day, I think you have had it really tough, no matter what you do, you are doing the best you can, don't worry, there is no one right answer, go with your gut. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441705 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:24:55 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 441705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding sucks the first six weeks. There is no way around it. I don't know anyone who enjoyed it in the beginning. I feel like 6-8 weeks is the magic number(s) and once you reach it, you and baby get in a groove. It's like the hump and once you're over it things really change.</p> <p>I think six weeks is a good goal to have. If you still are struggling and miserable by then, then switch to formula and don't feel bad about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441701 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:21:52 +0000 loveisstrange 441701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@meredithNYC: You are not exceptionally thin-skinned. Those comments and the holier-than-thou attitude are very hurtful sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441670 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:08:03 +0000 meredithNYC 441670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I so understand where you're coming from. My story was pretty much the same as yours and I supplemented LO with formula (1-2 bottles per day) until she was 2.5 months old, at which point I switched to formula completely.</p> <p>Most days I am extremely happy with my decision - especially when I look at my happy, healthy, super sweet baby who adapted to formula wonderfully. However, sometimes guilt will creep in. Often, it comes from reading comments on Hellobee, unfortunately. Now, I don't come across these comments all that frequently, in fairness, but when I do they really sting (you know, stuff about formula being poison or people reading the label of formula and deciding they would NEVER feed their baby such trash). It might be that I'm just exceptionally thin-skinned, but I would say that if you decide to formula feed, just be prepared for some of that judgement because it can hit you at unexpected times and really hurt.</p> <p>Aside from all of that, I wish you luck whatever you decide to do. In real life, I have been very lucky to be surrounded by super supportive people, and I hope you are equally as lucky. And last but not least, I know a lot of breastfeeding moms think that formula feeding is more work, but I just don't. I always felt like breastfeeding took so much time and effort, but again - that's just me. Definitely not a reason in and of itself to make the switch, but I did have to throw that in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441622 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 15:50:24 +0000 SleepyMonkey 441622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i absolutely DESPISED breastfeeding in the first month too. like to the point where i resented LO everytime she wanted to feed and giving DH dirty looks when he would bring her to me when she was hungry. totally irrational, but that is how much i hated it. i really think setting short term goals works and then you can re-assess when you get there. 4 weeks was my first goal, then 6 weeks. at 4 weeks, i didn't hate it anymore, just disliked it. at 6 weeks, i kind of like it sometimes. my next goal is 12 weeks. i honestly don't think i'll ever love it, but i have this weird relationship with it now....kind of a like/dislike simultaneously thing. i don't know many women in real life that actually love it. take it in short chunks. but if you get to one of your goals and still hate it, then go with formula and don't look back and feel good about your decision. ultimately, baby will be happier if mommy is happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441596 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 15:36:49 +0000 runsyellowlites 441596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I stuck it out solely for P. Knowing breastfeeding was what she was designed for was enough for me to "get happy" despite all the initial trouble we had, although it wasn't always easy in the moment.</p> <p>This post on kellymom helped too.... I read it often:</p> <p>Are mothers supposed to love breastfeeding 24 hours a day?<br /> AUGUST 28, 2011. Posted in: COMMON NEWBORN CONCERNS,WHAT IS NORMAL?<br /> More Sharing Services<br /> by Glenda Dickerson, IBCLC.<br /> Reprinted with permission from the author.</p> <p>If there is a day or week where you no longer feel like you are loving or even enjoying breastfeeding, does it mean that this is the right time to stop?</p> <p>I have felt for years that many mothers wean because they thought they were supposed to love and/or enjoy breastfeeding 24 hours a day. Some of the mothers I have admired the most are mothers that breastfed in spite of not being in love with the act of breastfeeding. They breastfed because they knew it was the right choice for their babies.</p> <p>Our culture has become so addicted to the concept that we are supposed to only do what makes us happy or brings us immediate joy, that we lose a lot of the good stuff along the way–pride in accomplishment, joy in fulfilling a commitment, feeling of achievement through meeting a goal. I don’t think this means people are more selfish today than they were in the past, I just think they have been taught to have different expectations about what they are supposed to feel and how they should respond to those feelings.</p> <p>Breastfeeding is the ultimate gift a woman gives her baby–because she chooses everyday whether to continue or to stop. Don’t look at breastfeeding as something you will enjoy or even like all the time, but as a commitment to your child’s health–similar to the commitment of staying married even when you don’t particularly like your husband for a few days, or staying in college when it is really rough for a while. There are peaks and valleys with breastfeeding and sometimes you will thoroughly enjoy it, and sometimes you will resent it–but in the end you will not regret one day that you stuck with it, even though you were not feeling that joy 100% of the time. When you are in a valley, rest assured that the joy you have felt with feeding in the past will reappear and you will be glad you waited it out.</p> <p>Breastfeeding - It's too important not too</p> <p><a href="http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/love-breastfeeding-24-7/" rel="nofollow">http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/love-breastfeeding-24-7/</a></p> <p>I also pretty much lived on her site for troubleshooting issues &amp; found a very pro-breastfeeding group bc I knew being "all-in" was vital not just to my success but to me changing my outlook on it all. </p> <p>Best advice I was given was to not give up the first 6 weeks because those were the hardest parts. Get past those &amp; aTHEN make a decision then. It's not easy, but it is worth it! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441530 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 15:15:54 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 441530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had issues for the better part of two months. I agree with all the others about mini goals- some of mine were only 3 days apart: just until the weekend, just until our ped. appointment, just until so and so comes to town. Somehow the days which seem so slow end up passing and before you know it you've made another mini goal.<br /> The other thing that worked for me personally, was spending lots of time reading about the health benefits of breastfeeding, literally one article after another. Doing it for LO's long term benefit was the only reason I stuck with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441525 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 15:12:17 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 441525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just know that whatever you decide, you are doing a good job. I can't imagine how hard being a new mom is. Don't beat yourself up too much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441519 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 15:09:50 +0000 sera_87 441519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i don't know if this will make you feel better or not, but I'll just say it: my oldest brother was breastfed, and still passed away at age 10 from leukemia. healthwise its all just a crapshoot :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441496 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:55:41 +0000 Andrea 441496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to stop due to my own health issues and I have no regrets. I agree with @leelee - no one is going to care what your LO ate once she is older. DD is 2.5 years old now and the only reason why people ask me now is because I'm having another baby so they just ask if I'm planning on trying to breastfeed #2. I will, but if it makes me miserable, then I won't feel bad about stopping since I had to with #1 and she's very smart with a strong immune system. </p> <p>As other people have said, set mini goals but don't feel like you need to force yourself to continue for a year or whatever if it doesn't make you happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441494 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:54:57 +0000 MrsHotDog 441494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A wise woman once told me, "there is nothing more important to your baby right now than her mommy's smiles". That came from my OB during one of my PP check-ups. I was having such a horrible time with breastfeeding and it was making me miserable. Once my OB told me that, a little part of me let go of some of my guilt and I quit breastfeeding not long after. Once I finally stopped BF and quit pumping (I tried to exclusively pump for about a month), I finally felt the bond with my daughter. I was in such a miserable state trying to breastfeeding that I didn't enjoy the first two months of my daughters life. I still felt guilty feeding my daughter that expensive formula but I always look back and remember the emotional state that I was in and remembered I gave it my best shot. That's all you can do. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your beautiful baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441473 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:41:59 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 441473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I'm just going to reiterate what everyone else has said, and say that you have to do what makes you happy. I never felt like breastfeeding was a bonding time for me, and I did it for almost 10 months. If you feel like you bond better when you're feeding her formula, and it makes life happier when you feed her formula, then I would say to go ahead and stop breastfeeding. It's not like you're just giving up. The path you had to take is MUCH harder than those who just pop the boob in the mouth when the baby needs it. I can only imagine the exhaustion you're going through... Do what makes you feel better. There is more to the mother-child bond than just breastfeeding ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441468 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:40:11 +0000 BananaPancakes 441468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree to make short goals, then see how you feel when you reach each one. I initially said just to make it through 2 weeks, then 6 weeks, then 12 weeks. Once he went on a nursing strike, I gave myself two weeks to try and get him back on track, but when I was still stressed and upset at the end because he would not nurse well, I made the full switch to formula. I was only upset at myself for a few days, and now a 8 months, we're both perfectly happy with formula. No regrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441466 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:38:13 +0000 Mrsbells 441466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took me about a month to really get the hang of breastfeeding and before then I did struggle with it, but for me I really wanted to breastfeed so like @leelee: I set mini goals, I would say one more week or atleast i'll try to get to 3 months, and now at nearly 8 months we are going strong. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441465 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:36:58 +0000 loveisstrange 441465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@leelee: That's true, actually. There have been studies done that found that by school age, kids all even out. In the long run, what they eat as a newborn doesn't matter one bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441456 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:33:54 +0000 leelee 441456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do what is best for you because a happy momma = happy baby. I hate bf and feeling engorged. What I did was set a goal of 3 months then now 6 months. I feel a little guilty about stopping at 6 months but frankly I am ready to feel like myself again and not have to worry about having to pump and feeling engorged when I miss a pump. Someone on the boards said something that really resonated with me. They said that as kids get older no one is gonna care if they were breastfed or formula fed. Do what is best for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441443 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:28:28 +0000 loveisstrange 441443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: I had tons of issues with BFing. My daughter lost tons of weight in the first week, we supplemented, I tried pumping, same story as you basically. I also hated having my boobs out all the time.</p> <p>When my daughter was 6 weeks old, I wanted to quit. My lactation consultant told me that when breastfeeding is causing an interference with your bond with your child, it has to go. The MOST important thing to your newborn is the bond between mother and child. That takes precedence over what she's eating. </p> <p>Everyone is going to tell you to wait it out, keep going, etc. If you feel like quitting is what is best for you, then quit. There is no shame in it. Your baby will be happy because you are happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441441 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:27:19 +0000 DillonLion 441441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all the responses so far! My original goal was one week, then I extended to two weeks (which is tomorrow) I'm not sure what my next goal will be.maybe a month? Ugh lol that is so far </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441427 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:22:14 +0000 MamaG 441427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I quit at about 10 days and the only time I even looked back was when she had bronchitis at about 4 months (not severe - no hospitalization). I wondered if she would have had a stronger immune system if I would have kept breastfeeding. </p> <p>I've read many people say it gets easier after the first 10-14 days. I was so exhausted emotionally that I didn't have the perseverance to continue. Whatever you decide is the BEST decision for YOU! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441414 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:11:24 +0000 sorrycharlie 441414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>nothing was easy with breastfeeding here (except that my milk came in 3 days post partum), until 8 weeks! we had latch issues, two hugely differently shaped and sized nipples (so, I had to buy bigger pump flanges for ONE side..lame), blocked ducts and oversupply, forceful letdown, mastitis and thrush, etc. Somehow, I didn't hate breastfeeding and plowed through and things are a world of difference now. I swear, one day it just all clicked and worked.</p> <p>BUT! but.</p> <p>if you don't enjoy breastfeeding, you don't have to! formula is NOT poison, or they would not be allowed to sell it. the mom I nanny for is super organic, healthy etc and both her girls were formula from day one. they are gorgeous, healthy and SMART as little whips. whatever choice you make that makes YOU happy is most important - your baby doesn't know yet about any benefits of either BM or formula. she just knows when she's happy and when mom is happy.</p> <p>that said, I agree with some PPs that maybe setting a date to decide might work. I've heard lots of people say "okay, one more week!" then they get to that day and think, hey i'll try a few more days. and then it just flows from there. </p> <p>but if you decide to formula feed, please don't feel terrible or guilty. everyone being happy is most important! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-convince-yourself-to-keep-breastfeeding-if-you-hated-it#post-441413 Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:10:53 +0000 twinmama 441413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are still in the very early days where life is just so challenging. Breastfeeding, especially under the conditions you've experienced, is SO hard. I've been there, I get it. I thought I was going to lose my mind in the days of nurse one, nurse the other, pump, power pump, wash bottles, wash pump parts...omg. Using formula is not a failure, and you are still a wonderful mother, no matter how you nourish your child. But, I just want to put it out there that it doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. My kids are mostly formula fed, but I still nurse them a few times a day.</p> <p>As much as I thought about giving up nursing, and sometimes still do, I'm glad I keep with it. My give up point was stopping all the supplements, power pumping, and so on and just letting my body make the milk it was going to make with my kids nursing as much as I could during the day. And it makes me happier. We all get the benefits of breastfeeding without the constant stress of it.</p> <p>I wish you the best, whatever you decide to do! Hang in there Mama! </p>