https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 15:23:34 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574523 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:41:58 +0000 MamaBehr 574523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My journey into being a SAHM wasn't planned. When my second baby was born I wasn't offered FMLA and would have to go back after 8 weeks, which I hated because I was a teacher so it was the difference of putting an 8 week old in daycare or an almost 6 month old. So I quit. I looked for other teaching jobs that are close and a school I want to work in, but haven't found anything. I do have two part time jobs as tutors, so I supplement our income a little. But, at this point with two children I would have to make a lot of money to pay for two in daycare and actually bring some money home. We are having to be a little bit more frugal than I would like, but it isn't as hard as I would have thought. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574516 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:38:35 +0000 Silva 574516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided that it was important to both of us before we started TTC. Basically we worked backwards from the decision.</p> <p>So that means we waited until my husband was out of school to start TTC (he graduates this spring, and will start his new job in June).</p> <p>As far as sacrifices- we don't buy anything we don't need (so that means driving old cars, Craigslist furniture, that kind of thing), we are paying down student loans more slowly than we would like (we don't have any other debt), and we are staying in our really tiny apartment with the baby to avoid higher rental costs in a larger place.</p> <p>We do have a lot in savings, although we try not to touch it because we are working on our deposit for building a house in a few years. But that adds a safety cushion- I probably wouldn't feel as comfortable with the decision if we didn't have the savings to fall back on if we over spend one month, or something happens (like a car breaks down). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574508 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:35:35 +0000 Honeybee 574508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't know I wanted to stay home until DD was born so our plan was always for me to return to work. When we had DD and I realized I wanted to be at home, it took almost two years in order work it out. Even though DH could have supported us from the beginning, we had some financial things to do first (graduate DH from grad school, buy a new car, and build up some savings for my grad school). Plus I've always planned on only being home for a couple years. I think it's very possible I'll go back to work part-time next year, sooner than we had originally planned. So it took a lot of work and time in order to reach our goal, and even then it's very limited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574491 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:25:28 +0000 Dandelion 574491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a temp job over the summer and in July I had my bfp. We decided the timing was good for me to stay home cause ds was starting kindergarten and I got ku. Dh makes enough to take care of us but we're not extravagant people. </p> <p>Its important to both of us that I stay home with lo at least a year after shes born. Plus I could never get a job right away where sending her to daycare would be affordable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574490 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:24:54 +0000 heffalump 574490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH actually told long before we got married that I wasn't going to be able to be a SAHM, we wouldn't be able to afford it. I was crushed, but I understood and figured that was just life. </p> <p>But when we were engaged I was working at a job that I hated to a point that it was giving me health issues and starting to give me depression. It was so so so stressful and I just had to get out. DH encouraged me to quit. It was 6 months until our wedding, so DH said not to look for another job because we were just going to go on our honeymoon. And then we were going to TTC and since I get crazy migraines we both thought that pregnancy and migraines and working wouldn't go well together (wow were we right, I was on the couch my entire 1st and second trimester, I could have never worked!) so I wasn't working for a long time and we were living off of DH's one income and doing fine. </p> <p>Meanwhile by now DH had realized that my income wouldn't have made enough to pay for daycare anyway and we would be able to make it work with just his. It's not easy all of the time..... we have to budget and I'm always finding ways to save money like making my own laundry detergent and I don't get to go out and buy clothes whenever I want. But I don't care, I'd rather be home with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574477 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:17:50 +0000 hilsy85 574477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH luckily makes enough to support us both without me working...it's important to him that I be a SAHM, and it worked out well, as I was laid off from my job a few months before LO was born. Plus, I worked in social work/mental health, and my salary would have been basically paying for daycare, so it didn't make much sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574227 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 00:43:34 +0000 Running Elley 574227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been a priority for us for me to stay at home with eventual children since before we got married. Because of this we started planning for it way in advance and always budgeted/lived off of just my husband's income, even when I was working (which was until DS was born last October). Since we did that we were able to save my income and build an emergency fund/savings and we were already used to living off of just what DH made.</p> <p>We make sacrifices and our budget is tight some of the time but it's been an experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574221 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 00:39:23 +0000 cyndistar3 574221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: That is exactly what I was about to type!</p> <p>Dh doesn't make much money at all, we are in fact way below "poverty" but it was very important to us that I stay home with the kids so we make it work. Sure we don't have extra money to just buy stuff all the time but we survive and have what we need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574220 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 00:39:16 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 574220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always assumed I would stay at home. I've always wanted to and we both thought it was important. Plus, we would have to pay for daycare, so it just wouldn't be worth enough. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was the only option in our minds so we make it work. People are surprised by how little we live off of sometimes (we rent a little house and only have one car) but we are nearly debt free because we don't have a mortgage or car payments. Or student loans.</p> <p>Also, we've never had two full incomes, I was supporting Mr SH through school and he started working full time a month after I went on mat leave. So it's not like we had to make some big lifestyle change.</p> <p>We aren't saving anything right now, but I know it will come, this is just the season we are in while they are little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574085 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 23:54:24 +0000 immabeetoo 574085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've always stayed within our means off one budget and knew I'd stay at home. So were losing my salarys worth of savings but otherwise were still on the same budget with less savings from his regular salary due to increased baby costs. We hit our emergency an house savings goals before TTC just in case. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-574024 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 23:30:55 +0000 sarac 574024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Basically, our entire life together (I was 18 when we met) we'd planned for me to stay home with a baby one day. It was that important to us. Before getting pregnant, I was in school, out of school working low wage jobs, and then back in school full time and working. So, I never made a ton of money at any of these things, and we never depended on what I did make. We always geared our lifestyle to my husband's one (relatively high) income. This means that we live a very different life than many of our friends, and that's something we're ok with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573963 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 23:08:06 +0000 tysonja 573963@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that probably most people would think we don't make enough to live on one income, but being frugal and (unfortunately) not saving as much as we'd like help to make me as a SAHM possible. I was 28 and DH was 25 when we had our 1st LO and some might choose to wait a bit longer, but we really believe in babies and would like to have 4 more or less close together, so we decided to start! We also both agreed that it was our desire for one of us to stay home with them before they got to school age, so it was a given that we'd make it work somehow. We're super happy with our decisions, although of course we continue to try to increase his income so we can save for a place of our own (not easy in this crazy expensive city!) LO is 9 months old and we've got another on the way :) Sometimes we laugh and say we're probably crazy, but super happy being so :)</p> <p>I'd say that to do it on a small income and have a happy home requires that both parties WANT it and agree with it 100% :) I would definitely not do it this way if DH wasn't practically the one suggesting it. It's not bad to wait, either!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573885 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 22:40:33 +0000 aprk 573885@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started financially planning for me to stay at home even before we got married. It took about 2 years for us to pay off our debt (except for student loans) and during that time we "practiced" living only on his salary. So, by the time we got married and pregnant (honeymoon baby) we were basically ready for me to quit. Definitely takes discipline though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573879 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 22:37:52 +0000 Bao 573879@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH doesn't make a lot of money, but looking at the cost of what daycare would be, I would be working to put LO in daycare. We cut back on some things. We pretty much just figured it out as we went.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573870 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 22:35:15 +0000 littlecasita1122 573870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH started making enough to support us (cover my salary) in the past year, probably when I was about 4 months pregnant. We thought I would work part-time after LO arrived. The biggest thing that helped us prepare was to put my paychecks away right into savings and forget the money was in that account. So we paid all the bills using my husband's paychecks. It forced us to create budgets and rearrange some money but it was a great way to determine if I could truly SAH full-time. And then we quickly built up an emergency savings fund from my paychecks. We did this for my entire pregnancy until I stopped working at 8.5 months. Even if you try to put away a whole paycheck and realize it can't work, you can try putting away half so that way you can see if you will need to still work part-time.</p> <p>Also I'm really surprised with the low costs associated with having a baby. Yes, diapers and wipes are expensive. But we've basically traded going out to dinner 2-3 times a week for the cost of baby necessities. I don't buy as many clothes as I used to since I'm home, don't spend as much money on hair stuff and make-up since I've simplified my routines, don't have to fill up the gas tank in my car as often. So for us it's balanced out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573273 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 19:55:34 +0000 sunny 573273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided that I would be a SAHM for a specific time frame and we made sure that we had enough in savings prior to even TTC. We already live a fairly frugal lifestyle so we don't need to make too many lifestyle adjustments to make it work financially! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573244 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 19:42:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 573244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A big part of it was that we waited until we were in a financial position (well, until DH was making enough money) to have a baby. I knew it was important to me to stay at home for a few years and we were both will to wait a little bit longer to make it happen. There were a lot of other factors in our timing but that was a big one. </p> <p>He hasn't always made enough for me to stay home-- it's only been in the last year or so that we would have felt comfortable to make it work. Before that, we probably could have cut back in a lot of places in order to do it, which I suppose is what we would have done if we had an unexpected pregnancy, but it would have been a lot harder. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-being-a-sahm-was-a-possibility-for-you#post-573219 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 19:30:13 +0000 MrsTiz 573219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Has your DH always made enough to support the household? Dis you have to give up anything to save money? Did you save up beforehand? Is a baby as expensive as I think it will be?</p> <p>This is my dream, but I'm not sure we could swing it. If DH made just a liitttlle bit more I could work part time. He'd have to make almost double what he does now for me to stay home full time. </p> <p>How did you make it work? </p>