https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:51:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815970 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:23:40 +0000 looch 2815970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: fwiw, I sent my son to kindergarten not knowing how to read. He was reading within 2 months, I fully credit the teaching staff for giving him the confidence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815969 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:22:26 +0000 looch 2815969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: we went with a private program, we don’t have junior or transitional k in my area, so if I was going to do it, it was either repeating a 4s program or finding a 5s via private programs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815961 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:02:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 2815961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: I feel really lucky that i found a junior K program. Her current preK is great now but I don’t think it’s what my daughter needs for next year to fully get ready for kindergarten. I don’t know how common they are though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815922 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 13:17:59 +0000 Becky 2815922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we had the option of a transitional K or an early 5s program I would absolutely red shirt. Like you mentioned some of those fine motor skills and social/emotional readinesssare what I am concerned about (we don’t have TK or a great preschool so are sending DD1 with a 10/31 bday and 12/1 cutoff). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815920 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 13:15:25 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2815920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Former kindergarten teacher here. It totally depends on the kid but, in general, the way I always thought about it was this: you can keep them in a TK/extra year of preschool with really no consequence, but what sucks a lot more is them having to repeat kindergarten. I had a June student who was really immature, and he struggled with fine motor/academic/social/emotional skills. At my suggestion his parents had him repeat the year. He's now thriving, but they told me they wished they'd done a TK for him to begin with which I totally understand-the good news is he doesn't really remember so he wasn't upset by doing a second year of kindergarten. My second baby will be a July birthday so we'll have a similar decision to make when it's time for her to go to school. Totally happy to talk over PM if you have questions you want to talk about! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815911 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 12:44:46 +0000 Foodnerd81 2815911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is a big topic of conversation for me too. My girl has a bday one month before the cutoff. She’s very smart and I had always planned to send her but her preK teachers recommended holding her, and as I did more research and really thought about it, I am totally sure they are right and she will be doing a year of “junior kindergarten” next year. From what I have read and heard from many sources, it’s the social and emotional maturity that is the biggest reason to wait. Academically, teachers can work with kids to help them catch up.<br /> @looch: my daughter sounds a lot like your son- academically I am completely sure she could handle it, but emotionally it would be so hard for her. I just worried she would spend all her energy just trying to behave (and failing) and have nothing left to enjoy learning. Plus I don’t want her to get labeled as a bad kid or trouble maker because she’s young and immature (and issue we actually had at the beginning of this year in preK).<br /> Plus red shirting is pretty common in my area, and she’s small for her age, so I think those two things will make it a little easier for her. When I get criticism about it I just emphasize that her teachers were the ones that first recommended it- like the experts on kids this age who see my daughter in school, compared to random relative who thinks he knows better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815858 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:44:37 +0000 lioneyes 2815858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DS has a Sept bday and we plan to redshirt (he misses the private school cutoff by 2 weeks but they all said it's up to us to either push him or hold him back). When I switched schools in 3rd grade, my mom held me back for social reasons and I am so grateful she did. Academically, it didn't matter one way or the other, but socially... I would have been 16 my senior year, I was already tiny, it would have been bad.</p> <p>My nephew is NOT being redshirted and there are a lot of those issues. MY MIL keeps saying, oh he'd be bored in school if he repeated/was held back, but socially he has a lot of trouble, he's the smallest kid, and school isn't just about academics, like it or not.</p> <p>As someone above said, I think if you do it you don't regret it, but if you don't, you might. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815853 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:35:48 +0000 snowjewelz 2815853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 2 December LOs with a 12/31 cut off so this has been a huge topic. DD1 has a 12/4 birthday and currently in preschool. Academically, she is doing amazing so no concerns there. So my only concern for her is emotional/social capability. At least I think I have another year to observer her in pre-k next year. </p> <p>DD2 was born 12/20, so I am even more likely to redshirt her. She's only 16 months so we have a long way to go anyway.</p> <p>I only know that girls are usually a little mature, so they both can possibly move on normally without redshirting.</p> <p>I have an early Nov birthday and red shirting where I was born/raised is not even a thing. I was never that smart academically; and emotionally/socially I think I was fine? In that I have no idea whether delaying a year would have made a difference or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815851 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:34:03 +0000 looch 2815851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: Honestly, no, because the cut off is so late in my state, that a lot of parents in my circle hold back.</p> <p>My mother was really pushing for me to hold my son back, she was a K teacher for 17 years in a non-rigorous program and she knew he'd have issues that he'd either have to repeat or just get pushed along without having mastered the material. IMO repeating is worse, because you're also dealing with the awareness that kids have that their friends are moving on and they are not.</p> <p>Also, boredom is not a thing in my son's school, and it shouldn't be. Any good teacher will identify kids that need remediation, kids that need a little extra challenge and kids in the middle and will tailor the lesson plans so that everyone gets what they need. Some kids that present as bored are often later diagnosed with learning disabilities, so if that were the case, I'd be diving into that armed with information on early detection. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815847 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:19:29 +0000 Sams Mom 2815847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is only 2, but I have had daycare parents and other parents recommend redshirting him already. He's an April baby, so that seems very drastic for a mid August cut-off date. I haven't had to make this decision yet, but I would go with input from his babysitter/preschool teacher, and talk it over with your husband. Whatever you decide is best for your child is your decision and anyone else can suck it. </p> <p>As to naysayers, they redshirt college athletes all of the freaking time and they're some of the best ones out there (not the same and the same all at the same time) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815846 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:16:38 +0000 misolee 2815846@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh and regarding criticism, there is huge difference between being “smart enough” for kinder and emotionally ready. I think for lots of people who do decide to wait another year, it’s more maturity problem than intelligence. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815845 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:14:06 +0000 misolee 2815845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work as the children’s director for elementary school aged children at my church. Ive been in this position for 10 years so I’ve seen kids grow up and parents struggle with redshirting. But the basic consensus I realized is: each child is different. You know your child the best. Children are pretty adaptable...it’s just matter of when. </p> <p>In my personal experience, parents who do redshirt never regret their decision. But parents who don’t, do express regrets and what if’s more. </p> <p>My cousin has a late summer bday and my aunt still wished she redshirted him (he’s in college). I have to tell her to let it go. 😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815843 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:05:12 +0000 cat620 2815843@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Thanks for your reply! I'm glad to hear your son is doing so well in first grade. Did you have to deal with anyone questioning or criticizing your choices? It's not just my FIL, but even friends of mine say things that imply he's not as smart as their kids who are entering kindergarten this year </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815842 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:04:11 +0000 Mamaof2 2815842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yes to the peer coach - DS does that too - I love the concept!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815841 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:03:26 +0000 Mamaof2 2815841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: We didn't red shirt but DS missed the cut off by 20 days - he is one of the oldest in class. He has always been very smart so this worried me a lot!!! His 2nd year in Pre-K was boring for him but once he got to K his teacher challenged him everyday - which I loved! Not sure how your school works but after a few months the classes are spearated into groups - those that need extra help, those that are on point, and those that need more of a challenge. I love that they all get what they need!</p> <p>As far as maturity - that was a good reason for DS being a late starter - in 3rd grade they definitely expect you to be out of that wiggly stage and ready to work - while DS is still very smart he likes to goof off a lot! Anyway, here we are at 9.5 and his teacher said he is FINALLY showing some maturity - so in the end it worked out very well for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815839 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 08:59:54 +0000 looch 2815839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son has a December birthday with a Dec 31 cut off and I decided to send him to a 5s program before he went off to K and it was the best thing I have ever done for him.</p> <p>I can give you more detail if you want it, but basically, my son is pretty smart, but has issues with emotional control. I felt that the best thing to do was to give him time to get his coping strategies under control before saddling him with the high expectations of learning in K. He's in first grade now and is achieving above grade level and most importantly, he's a peer coach to other kids that need extra help during some of the lessons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-to-redshirt#post-2815836 Thu, 12 Apr 2018 08:52:03 +0000 cat620 2815836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a son who will be 5 at the end of June and our cutoff for kindergarten is the middle of August. I have spoken to his preschool teacher, and she thinks sending him to TK instead of kindergarten in the fall would be beneficial for him since he is still struggling with some fine motor skills (like pencil grip) and learning to sit still and pay attention for longer periods of time. I know kindergarten is more demanding than it was when I was in school, but I feel like a good teacher would work with the child and we would do what we can at home to help him succeed as well. My husband is pro redshirting, and we have several friends who are redshirting their kids (mostly sons) who are born around the same time. It seems common in this area, but I'm still concerned about him being the oldest/largest kid in his class and potentially being bored if we wait a year. How did you decide to redshirt? If you did, are you glad you decided to do it? If you didn't, do you wish you had? Also, how do you handle criticism from family/friends? My FIL has been giving us a hard time for even considering it and thinks my son will grow up thinking he's not smart or wondering why he had to go to TK. He doesn't want him to get labeled as unintelligent because of us redshirting him. </p>