https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 22:17:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-225896 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:26:05 +0000 Arden 225896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Minnie_Girl: I would love to have a home birth, but we're going with a freestanding birth center for this one. Hoping for home births in the future though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-225891 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:17:38 +0000 Minnie_Girl 225891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Arden: Yes! Are you? I'd love to chat! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224798 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:25:29 +0000 mrstilly 224798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I couldn't shake the feeling that childbirth is natural and that the majority of births can happen naturally if they are allowed to. I am not typically anti-medication or anti-medical intervention. </p> <p>However after doing research, reading books, articles, birth stories and watching some videos (including the Business of Being Born) I started to become very fearful of the medical community. It seemed like there was an overwhelming presentation of the medical profession surrounding labor and delivery being all about convenience, speed and efficiency and I was very fearful of being coerced into procedures I didn't want or wasn't informed about ahead of time. I was more fearful of not having a choice, rather than the actual procedures and interventions themselves. </p> <p>I live in a very hippie, organic, crunchy small city. I was thankful to have a local hospital that has very liberal policies. I didn't have to have an IV, I was able to eat and drink throughout labor, they encouraged me to walk and move around, and they were supportive of handing DS to me immediately after he was delivered, delaying the cord clamping, and helping to breastfeed. The hospital tour really put me at ease, as did the midwives at my obgyn practice. I also asked my stepmom, who is a 3-time mother and a registered nurse, to be with me the entire time, so she could act as a doula and help my husband and I make decisions in the moment when we might not be thinking so clearly. </p> <p>I consistently measured very big and went 10 days past my due date before I was induced. I made the decision when to be induced and felt okay about it. I had to have antibiotics for strep B and needed and IV for the pitocin, but the midwife and nurses gave me a lot of say in when/how much. (I do wish I would have known more about pitocin - I gladly would have traded an extra few hours in labor while I let a lower dose of pit work in my body for the insane, never-ending contractions I had for the three hours before I started pushing resulting from an aggressive dosing of pitocin.) </p> <p>No one suggested pain medication to me at all during the entire time I was in labor. I had to ask multiple times for something when the contractions were nonstop, because the midwife was trying to wait for a break in the contractions to find out if I really did want pain medication or not. I ended up with a spinal block, that I asked for, which gave me a reprieve before pushing. </p> <p>I did have an episiotomy, but was informed well before it happened and trusted that it was necessary to get DS out. (It totally was!) I ended up with a 10 pound 9 ounce baby whose chest circumference was larger than his huge head was. I felt respected by the nurses and midwives and don't feel like anyone did anything to push me into doing something I didn't want. </p> <p>Also, not a single person even mentioned formula, pacifiers, or supplementing with sugar water after DS was born. I had total support for breastfeeding, which was another concern I had. </p> <p>I think it's best to be informed about everything that can happen during labor and delivery and when it's necessary versus when it can be avoided. There is totally a time and place for every intervention and I wanted access to those interventions if needed, which is why I gave birth in a hospital to begin with. I just didn't want anyone pushing me to deliver faster, or end up with a C-Section, because it made things more convenient for one of the doctors. (A friend of my SIL was coerced into being induced 9 days before her due date so her doctor could go on vacation - this was my worst nightmare!) I think it's important to trust your doctor or midwife, so that in the moment you can relax and know that they will follow your wishes the best they can. If you aren't trusting of your doctor or midwife, I really advise hiring a doula to help you during labor and delivery. I was so lucky to have my stepmom there, and just her being there allowed me to relax and totally focus on getting DS out rather than worrying about what other people were doing. </p> <p>Given the circumstances, I was totally happy with my birth experience. I wish I didn't have to be induced and could have avoided all pain meds, but it just wasn't in the cards and I was able to make those decisions myself with the guidance of the midwives, which is ultimately what I wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224735 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 07:21:06 +0000 purrpletulips 224735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: that was my plan for DD as well. </p> <p>I did not research births much before my first child but knew I wanted to be pain free. I thought going into labor on my own would be a neat experience but ended up being induced for medical reasons which was fine as well.</p> <p>This time I am planning pretty much the same except I think I'll ask to avoid the episiotomy since that was just annoying during the healing process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224661 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 02:47:28 +0000 looch 224661@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read a few books, but it was the midwife that led our hospital birth class that gave me the confidence to desire and execute an intervention free birth.</p> <p>I didn't want an episiotomy, so I did perineal massage. That helped enormously. I also didn't want a epi because I wanted to move around, so practicing positions to manage the pain beforehand was key. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224247 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:15:20 +0000 brownie 224247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am terrified of needles and hospitals. So I knew I was going to do natural birth as possible. C-Section scared the tar out of me. Getting an epidural or spinal I don't know if I could have done it. If it was a real emergency, I wouldn't have a choice and that was how I approached it.</p> <p>I then became as educated as I could about the whole thing. I read a variety of books, movies and went to 2 different birthing classes.</p> <p>My birth plan was pretty much about not stressing me out. We did IVF and I had my first IV and I balled and balled. The lady who gave it was terrible and it has obviously scarred me. So I didn't want a repeat of that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224238 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:56:21 +0000 GrapeCrush 224238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: that was my birth plan too. i just wanted a healthy baby </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224229 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:43:08 +0000 Mrs. Bee 224229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i knew i wanted an epidural and that i wasn't tough enough (nor did i have any desire to) have a natural birth. it didn't go according to plan as i ended up having a c-section with charlie after pushing for 3 hours, but i think he was just too big for me to push out. i was 8 cm when i got the epidural and i was dying!!!! maybe if i toughed it out for a couple more hours i could have done it, but then he was still too big.</p> <p>with olive i had a vbac when i originally planned for a repeat c-section. i am so so happy that i had a vbac, and i had the best doctor ever guiding me thru pushing.</p> <p>overall i had pretty positive birth experiences. i didn't expect to get a c-section but i got one, and i didn't expect to have a vbac but i had one. you really can't plan what's going to happen! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224216 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:37:04 +0000 Mrs. Pen 224216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I took an amazing biology of women class in college that was taught b a certified doula. She taught a about how high c-sections rates are and that they shouldn't be that high. She taught tons of stuff about medical intervention births and how important a natural birth can be. It was soo intriguing as I've never heard any of that before. So when I got pregnant I researched some birth centers and found one 45 minutes from me. I totally fell in love. Additional research helped me decide the type of birth I wanted.</p> <p>I got partly what I wanted. I could deliver at my birth center because I developed pre-eclampsia so I had to be induced. That meant no water birth but I still was able to do it without meds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224215 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:36:49 +0000 DillonLion 224215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. High Heels: The hospital we're delivering at subscribes to all of those points, according to the presentation last night. But they aren't a member of that website. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224213 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:34:19 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 224213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire - do you know if any hospitals near where you live is designated a "baby friendly hospital"? </p> <p>here's a map for baby friendly hospitals in the US - <a href="http://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/eng/03.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/eng/03.html</a></p> <p>The criteria for a hospital's Baby Friendly accreditation include:<br /> - Have a written breastfeeding policy that is routinely communicated to all health care staff.<br /> - Train all health care staff in skills necessary to implement this policy.<br /> - Inform all pregnant women about the benefits and management of breastfeeding.<br /> - Help mothers initiate breastfeeding within one half-hour of birth.<br /> - Show mothers how to breastfeed and maintain lactation, even if they should be separated from their infants.<br /> - Give newborn infants no food or drink other than breastmilk, not even sips of water, unless medically indicated.<br /> - Practice rooming in - that is, allow mothers and infants to remain together 24 hours a day.<br /> - Encourage breastfeeding on demand.<br /> - Give no artificial teats or pacifiers (also called dummies or soothers) to breastfeeding infants.<br /> - Foster the establishment of breastfeeding support groups and refer mothers to them on discharge from the hospital or clinic.</p> <p>The program also restricts use by the hospital of free formula or other infant care aids provided by formula companies.</p> <p>Since the program's inception, approximately 15,000 facilities in more than 152 countries have been inspected and accredited as "Baby-Friendly." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224212 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:34:17 +0000 cvbee 224212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: my hospital was con-intervention. My OB said once to me 'of course we don't want to use interventions unless we have to'. But I didn't realize how con-intervention he was until I was talking to another chick who gave birth with him. She asked for an epidural and he smiled and said 'we'll see about that', and then she says he wouldn't let her have one. I'm sure she's leaving out some key details, but I'm mentioning this so people know that not all hospitals are going to push interventions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224207 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:30:26 +0000 DillonLion 224207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. High Heels: We went on our hospital tour last night, which was very obviously pro-intervention (they said they were open to various birth options, but then proceeded to say "take your narcotics"), and then I watched the Business of Being Born afterward, for the second time. I think I need to really seek out a little more middle-of-the-road information. Both experiences last night were very much heavily sided on either end of the spectrum. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224201 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:28:00 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 224201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i always thought i would get an epidural, until i met someone who was really passionate about medication-free births. i didn't know too much about it, so she recommended i watch "the business of being born" (i know it's kinda biased). once i saw that movie it made me more determined to want to try for a medication-free birth. i'm the type that never liked to even take medicine because i don't like putting too many chemicals in my body, so it just made sense to me. i started researching it, discovered bradley classes... and the rest is history! </p> <p>even though i planned to have no epidural... i knew anything could happen so i wanted to keep an open mind and would've been ok getting one if needed. luckily, things worked out and i was able to have the medication-free birth i hoped for. i still wanted to do it at a hospital though. i didn't feel safe just being at home in the case complications arose. knowing doctors and other intervention methods were available to me made me feel safer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224126 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:30:02 +0000 Pipers Mommy 224126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: you are not alone, That was my philosophy going in :) The only thing I really wanted to avoid was a C section if I could. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224112 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:18:15 +0000 plaidpants 224112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted as little intervention as possible, but I wanted access to everything if I needed it. So I went with midwives and a doula, in a hospital setting. </p> <p>I definitely wanted to try to do it unmedicated because I was worried about complications from the epidural, but I wanted to be able to change my mind. If I decided I wanted drugs, I wanted drugs! </p> <p>In the end, I was induced 18 hours after my water broke and I had my LO without an epidural. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224108 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:16:14 +0000 cvbee 224108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@photojane: I had a kidney stone at 33 weeks pregnant so I know what you're talking about. I needed morphine. I also needed morphine 3 weeks ago when I had a kidney infection (same kidney). BUT I was able to have a medication-free birth. It's true what they say: kidney stone is worse than labour. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224096 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:55:42 +0000 lemondrop 224096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I am very happy with my experience. Not everything went as I wanted, but I'm very happy with the outcome. </p> <p>We briefly looked at birthing centers, but my husband was more comfortable with a hospital with a NICU, so we went with that and ended up using the NICU so it was a good choice. </p> <p>Very briefly- Water broke, I tried laboring naturally, ended up wanting an epidural, got a light dose, let it wear off during pushing. My doc kept me informed and asked my preferences, but by the end I didn't care about anything except evicting the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224082 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:40:05 +0000 mediagirl 224082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was scared to death of labor and scared to death of the pain. I was also scared to death of the epidural. Haha. I knew deep down that I would get an epidural when I went into labor, though. My birth experience was great. I wanted the epidural and I got it. It was done properly and I was able to feel when I had to push. They used a vacuum on the baby at the end which I was also okay with then and now. I was exhausted and I trusted my OB. I got the baby as soon as I could (there was meconium in my water so, they had to take her for a few minutes). Overall - very happy with my drugged up labor and delivery. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224052 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:21:08 +0000 photojane 224052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: i'm with you there. bring on the drugs! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-224019 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:01:37 +0000 MsMini 224019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have worked in NICU and have watched a ton of births. I knew I just wanted to do whatever it took to ensure a safe entry to the world for my LO.</p> <p>I was induced due to PIH complications, and my LO went into distress, so I had a c-section. Sawyer couldn't tolerate even the smallest contractions, I never even dilated.</p> <p>Sawyer arrived healthy, and I recovered remarkably quickly, so I achieved my goals. For my next birth, I will be having a planned c-section, as the fetal distress was quite stressful for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223985 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 13:33:03 +0000 Smurfette 223985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: Ditto!! I just want an epidural and my baby to be healthy. Whatever else happens I will leave up the experts. I trust my doctor know what they are doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223976 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 13:29:39 +0000 yoursilverlining 223976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't have any real plan. I wanted to deliver however was safest, and quickest for both me and baby. I trusted my OB who delivers hundreds of babies a year, and has decades of experience - whereas, I have no experience. So, I planned to do basically whatever my OB and the other professionals suggested. My OB and delivery hospital were very open to whatever the woman wants and provide lots of non-traditional laboring methods. I had no vested interest in doing things "my way" because of any particular belief system I read about, although I read about some different birthing methods. </p> <p>I ended up having a c-section, and have no regrets about it. Everything went smoothly, and that's what my OB and I ultimately decided was best/safest for baby and myself. </p> <p>Being in a hospital was never a question. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223917 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:58:32 +0000 sorrycharlie 223917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might be in the minority, but my birth plan consists of epidural and healthy baby, lol. I don't particularly care about anything else..the only things we want to make sure we express is immediate skin to skin bonding time, but my hospital advertises that anyway :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223907 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:55:50 +0000 photojane 223907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my birth plan is based mostly on my past medical experience. i have a history of kidney stones, and they are AWFUL. the pain is an out-of-body, throwing up, unbearable, shaking, cold sweats, screaming and cursing kind of pain. so, knowing how that feels, and that i can't handle that pain without IV medications, i knew i'd want a medicated birth. </p> <p>i also trust that my doctors have my best interests in mind. they do not want to put me through anything more than what they believe is medically necessary. they want my baby to be healthy just like me. they are educated and experienced, and know WAY more than i will ever know about birth and medicine. i trust that this education and experience will provide me with a safe and healthy birth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223895 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:50:36 +0000 cyndistar3 223895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never wanted anything other than a med free water bith at the birthing center because I get really stressed in hospital settings and am 100% terrified of needles. I got what I wanted with #1 minus the water birth but ended up with a c-section with #2 since she was breech. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223892 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:48:59 +0000 Arden 223892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Minnie_Girl: You are having a home birth?! Awesome! I'd love to chat with you more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223881 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:46:10 +0000 DillonLion 223881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, these are really., really helpful!! Anyone else want to share? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223803 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:04:10 +0000 Minnie_Girl 223803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I starting researching childbirth when I was like 15 because my mom scared me so much with her horror stories, haha! I've researched/read a lot since then. I always had a feeling that something wasn't right with the usual perception of birth, and that maybe I didn't understand my own body. </p> <p>My realization, ultimately, was that giving birth in the average American hospital is completely unconducive to normal birth. My best bet was to birth at home with a midwife who's trained in normal birth, where I wouldn't be subjected to unnecessary procedures. (Drugs that interfere with the labor, laboring on the back, IVs and catheters, internal fetal monitoring, and episiotomies, to name the big ones) In addition to that, home birth has some comfort/privacy aspects that I think will be extremely helpful to the process. </p> <p>Baby and I are doing great, and I'm looking forward to a normal, prepared labor! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-what-kind-of-birth-you-wanted#post-223761 Tue, 17 Jul 2012 11:15:55 +0000 cvbee 223761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read a lot of people's birth stories and I reflected on what I know about myself. </p> <p>Since I noticed the main theme in the birth stories was that people rarely were able to follow their birth plans. </p> <p>So I decided to 'go with the flow'. </p> <p>Reading (mostly random forums on the internet) about natural births did give me some clues about how to try for a birth with the least amount of intervention. So, when my water broke and contractions didn't start, I knew that walking around and being upright was important to try to get things going. (they did) And I had a few friends tell me that they progressed well on the toilet and when I was on the toilet it felt amazing. I would try things people told me felt good to them and if it felt helpful I kept it up (toilet) and if it felt wrong I stopped (sitting in rocking chair). I listened to my own ideas too, spending an hour in the shower with the hot water hitting my back (yay back labour), and at that point I tried to remain upright even though it hurt. </p> <p>When I was in the transition and pushing stage I did a mix of following the ideas of the nurses and my own. For example, I thought I would love to push in a squat, but in reality when I tried that I found that I liked it better when I was in a position where the nurses could tell me about my progress better (laying on my back with nurse and DH holding my feet). The nurses were AMAZING. </p>