Hellobee Boards Topic: How did you decide where to raise your family?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How did you decide where to raise your family? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 19:56:39 +0000 charm55 on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871679 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 20:46:38 +0000 charm55 2871679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I love where we live - right on the ocean, with family nearby and a low cost of living. We are a small community with no big cities around so sometimes it’s harder to get certain things, but it’s a great relaxed quality of life. Littlebit7 on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871671 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 20:04:40 +0000 Littlebit7 2871671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is a tough question. I always enjoy reading all of the responses. For us, it was DHs job that brought (and keeps) us here, mainly, as the epicenter of what he does is in NYC. It is hella expensive, we have no family support (zero, nada). But we love the community we are in, and the friends we are slowly making. Emphasis on slow. The killer of our community is that it tends to be a stopover point for people leaving manhattan. They move here, spend a few years and have a kid or two, and then leave to the suburbs. It is challenging to build your village and for everyone in the family to make friendships when everyone keeps leaving. But we are here to stay for a long haul. It’s hard to be away from family but DH would essentially have to start a new career in a totally different field in finance if we moved to be close to family. Sams Mom on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871635 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 15:57:24 +0000 Sams Mom 2871635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @pachamama: It does make it so much better for the kids! My mom's parent's let my parents choose any 5 acres of their land as a gift to build on. So growing up my mom's parent's, her brother, and her sister were just a walk up "the path" from us. Like we could go to Grandma and Grandpa's house without an adult at like 4. My dad's mom lived in town so was really close too (saw her at least weekly). pachamama on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871634 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 15:46:28 +0000 pachamama 2871634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I live 5 minutes for my mom, and a half an hour from the other two sets of grandparents and I will say it has made our lives tremendously easier, better and less expensive 😂 So that's my vote! Sure, it comes with some emotional baggage but I think my kids' lives are better and definitely definitely my parents' lives are enhanced by being close to their grandkids. (my husband's and my siblings all live far away and it makes our parents sad). also my mom literally gave me a piece of family land to build my house so that influenced my decision! periwinklebee on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871633 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 15:43:39 +0000 periwinklebee 2871633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I really don't like where I grew up and would not consider moving back, despite the fact that having my parents close would be wonderful. And it is not where I would want to raise LO. We are in our current city for work, but we also happen to like it and think it's a good place to raise kids. I expect we'll be here long term. JennyPenny on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871628 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 15:00:00 +0000 JennyPenny 2871628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH and I both went to college close to where our parents live and have stayed here ever since. We have a good COL, close to our parents (10-15 min), and it's a good area for our career field too. We've looked at moving for different job offers a few different times in the past (all pre-kids) and none of the other places were able to pull us away. Now that we have kids we're so glad we stayed close to home. Kaohinani on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871625 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 14:52:57 +0000 Kaohinani 2871625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The military has always dictated our moves up until 2017... Then it was DH'S new civilian career (and an available Reserve unit) on a nearby mil post which influenced our location. When we lived on-point, DH'S rank played heavily into our housing. I was pleased DD was attending a school on-post as military schools must align with both state and national standards and benchmarks for education. She was learning materials 1-2 grades ahead of the children in surrounding areas off-post. With our most recent move, many things influenced our decision to move where we did. Education (DD attends a highly rated school) and a quiet, safe HOA subdivision were two influences. Another was the home we chose: It is 2x larger than all of our military homes and is located on a lake. All bedrooms have a split plan (so DS has a playroom affixed to his room and DD has an "art studio") and we still have a gym, office for DH, and guest room. Oh, and the price fit our budget with DH's new job, military separation pay, and bonus with his new job. It is also close enough to a few colleges and universities so I was able to find part-time work teaching. We are almost 4 hours away from my in laws, 7 hours from DH'S family in FL, 6 hours from my old best friend, and 20 hours from my family (who I rarely speak with) in the NE. Sams Mom on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871623 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 14:37:02 +0000 Sams Mom 2871623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I ended up settling in my college town. It's not where I would live if I could just pick and everything would fall into place, but it's not bad either. My husband has a good job, mine is a little unstable and am actually looking at a career change. We are about 100 miles from my parents, and about 25 miles from his parents (but we're no contact). We chose where we bought based on budget and school district. We do plan to buy land further outside of town when our kid(s) are older, with the plan to pay it off then build our final house once school districts don't matter. petitenoisette on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871619 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 14:26:48 +0000 petitenoisette 2871619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We live in our state bc it’s where my family is (who help us out w childcare) and where my job is. I imported my DH from NJ - it was never really a consideration for me to move there. I had a better job and am closer to my family. When we bought our house it’s bc it was where we could afford and in between-ish our two works. The schools are very good. It’s close enough to my family but not too close. I wish it were more diverse but otherwise we like it here! wrkbrk on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871609 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 13:38:42 +0000 wrkbrk 2871609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I live 20 minutes from where I grew up in a large midwestern city and my (local) parents and sister are not the least bit helpful with our son. I’d be fine to move actually but we don’t have a pressing reason to. Both DW and I have good jobs here. Her family is in the south which is sad because it’s far (and I love them)! dc yoga bee on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871590 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 11:33:26 +0000 dc yoga bee 2871590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I will have to check that show out! We lived in Smyrna and Vinings and DH is from Duluth. Yes, I’m sure our experience would’ve been different in Lithonia or other places but I wanted to be in north Atlanta for schools and that’s where my life was! Mrs. Toad on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871583 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 10:49:36 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2871583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We live where the military has sent me. Hopefully, when I get out, I can settle in southeast Texas or Louisiana as that is reasonably close to family with good jobs. I don't mind the weather and hate winter although I'm getting used to snow. I am ready for spring though. Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871570 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 10:25:03 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2871570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @dc yoga bee: not much has changed in 7 years then :bummed: Hulu is featuring different cities for Black History Month and Atlanta was the first one up. I just sat there thinking this is not my experience and honestly, I shouldn’t have to be surrounded only by people of the same hue to feel welcome. I don’t think I’d know how to act if I had the chance to move back to the DMV. :silly: smuckers on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871563 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 10:07:48 +0000 smuckers 2871563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Both my DH and I are in the area that we grew up in. I do not love it, almost entirely because of the weather (I would much prefer a milder climate). However, COL is low, crime rates are low, and we are within 1 hour of both of our families. Schools are... fine. Diversity is almost non-existent, which makes me so sad. If it wasn't for family, I would move in a heartbeat. But honestly, they're such an important part of our lives, they make the terrible weather worth it. My dream is for both of our families to decide to pick-up and move to somewhere like Virginia or North Carolina, so I can get my milder winters but still have 4 seasons. dc yoga bee on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871555 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:49:59 +0000 dc yoga bee 2871555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: This is why we moved from Atlanta. While COL is low, Dh family is there, and all our friends, good weather etc it’s just still not very progressive for minorities. We still experienced a lot of racism in 2012! I knew I wanted to raise our kids in a multi-cultural environment with lots to do, excellent schools, and good job prospects. My parents moved to NOVA and so we decided to as well. It’s been awesome. The trade off was much higher COL. But, we both have advanced degrees and were lucky to get good jobs with great benefits. So, we don’t get to live in the city ($$) but, we are happy. Anagram on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871553 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:47:04 +0000 Anagram 2871553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We moved here for DHs job. My husband grew up in another country (he lived through s civil war in his childhood and has ptsd from that and I can’t even get him to visit there, so living there ever again is out of the question). I also grew up in a place that I would never live in willingly as an adult. There’s no perfect place for us. Our families are spread in opposite directions (his all in Canada now, mine all over but my mother is in Georgia). So we just make home where we are. For now. It’s been less s conscious choice and more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants adventure. I would totally move somewhere else if the right job came along (abroad or another city), but I’m definitely a city girl at heart (even tho I grew up rural). bhbee on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871552 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:46:31 +0000 bhbee 2871552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We moved to TX for a few reasons - mainly a good job move for DH that would also mean I could SAH, lower overall COL, bonus my brother and family also moved to this area for work so they’re 45m away. Honestly we don’t love it, the weather especially, but it’s a good place to raise a family at this stage. We had lived in a couple cities up north before moving and knew we had to move somewhere due to COL and not knowing how to manage the cost of two kids in the city. We talk about moving again but I don’t know how realistic it is. Someone would have to find a great job. Our families live within 4 hours of each other in the Midwest so that’s a thought, especially as they get older. Our hearts are in the Boston area where we both spent many years but not sure that will ever make sense. Foodnerd81 on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871550 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:40:07 +0000 Foodnerd81 2871550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Just adding to my answer- I wish we were closer to family. But i don’t actually want to live where my family is (NJ, suburb of NYC). MA is just a better fit for DH and me and our family, but the downside is we are far. erinbaderin on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871548 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:33:14 +0000 erinbaderin 2871548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don’t love where I live - I’m outside Toronto, and I’d rather live in Ottawa, plus it would be a lot better for my career - but my family is here (well, here-ish - they’re 3 hours away, it would be 7 from Ottawa) and our friends are here. It’s basically where I grew up. Mommy Finger on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871547 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:29:18 +0000 Mommy Finger 2871547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I grew up outside of Chicago. Though we moved around a little bit growing up, we always ended up back here. Both my parents grew up here too so we have family around. I didn't go far for college (Milwaukee) and always knew I'd move to Chicago after graduation. I met DH in the city and when it was time to make the cliched move to the suburbs, we moved near my parents. We're lucky that we have that option as I don't know how we would do this without family near by. Mrs. Carrot on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871541 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:12:44 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2871541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ The key requirements for us are being near a major city and diversity of population. We moved to DC from NJ 16 years ago because we were both going into public service careers - him in government, me in nonprofit - and we've really settled well here. We're still deciding, to some extent, about where we'll live longer term in this area because we bought a condo 10 years ago in an area that suited us 10 years ago but now with a school-age kid, we need something a little different, but we anticipate being in the DC area for the long term, though aging parents without much financial stability might not leave us much choice about moving back to NJ, which neither of us want. skinnycow on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871539 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 08:56:30 +0000 skinnycow 2871539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DH and I grew up in different suburbs of Dallas. Our college was in a smaller town - so I guess we did the opposite of you. We met in college and never had any intention of staying there because there isn't much of a job market beyond university-related positions. Long story short - we initially settled in another major city but decided to move closer to home when I was pregnant with my daughter. We don't live in either of our hometowns but we're within 30-45 minutes of my parents and in-laws and the schools are great where we are. It was really stressful trying to move and find new jobs when I was pregnant but I'm so glad we decided to do it. muffinsmuffins on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871538 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 08:56:08 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2871538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DW and I met in university which was 3 hrs from my hometown and 5-6 hrs from hers. I don’t really recall why we chose to move to the city we are in now, but it’s 45 mins to her hometown and 3 hours the opposite direction from mine! I got a job straight out of uni here and she made a connection shortly after we moved and got a great job with the government. That was 7-8 years before we had kids and I honestly don’t recall thinking about the future kids we would have in determining where we settled. But our city is massive, diverse and full of opportunity for work and education so I guess it wouldn’t have been a concern. The area of the city we settled in a couple years ago when my older son was 18 months became super important for commutes and schools and we put a lot of thought into that. I do regret a little that we aren’t in the same city as family. I wish so much my parents lived closer. My in laws are retired and 45 mins away and they do a lot for us and with us. My hometown doesn’t have a lot of opportunity so it isn’t feasible for us to have the careers and pay we have there, not even close! My in laws live in a very very small town with no jobs basically. Almost everyone there commutes to the big city we live in for work, so same thing. Looking back, I would rank family proximity as a high factor in choosing a location. Also cost of living. Lots of our friends stayed near our uni town and are being priced out of the housing market and commutes and daycare costs are literally crazy. It was great when we were young to live there and have a crappy rental and go out to eat and drink all the time, but they’re now all moving out of the city since having kids. I’m extremely happy with our city and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else really! We are here for the long haul and are in our forever home now. Lahela017 on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871537 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 08:52:11 +0000 Lahela017 2871537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I moved to a big city in my state after college for a job. My sister and some high school friends also live here. I met DH here, and his family is all here, so we ended up staying, and bought a house last year, so I think it's where we will be long term. I'm a bit sad because I loved the smaller city I grew up in that is 2-3 hour drive away, but I'm going to be a SAHM and DH loves his job here, so it seems fair that we stay. I also love that my sister is close, and to be fair, my parents are still close enough that we visit each other every couple of months (my guess is once baby arrives in April, that will increase). MrsADS on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871536 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 08:51:47 +0000 MrsADS 2871536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't like where we live and I would give anything to be closer to family. But we are here because of my husband's job, which is quite specialized. So... we're here due to work. Foodnerd81 on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871528 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 07:58:42 +0000 Foodnerd81 2871528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We met in college near a big city in the north east. I moved back to NYC after college, he stayed in Boston. I eventually moved up to Boston and we really like it there and had our first kid there. We knew we wanted to stay in the area but after the second looked for the right suburb and right house for us. We are about 5 hours drive from most of my family, and a cross country flight from DH’s parents, so we don’t have as much family support as we could, but we both feel like this is the right place for us. And we have made a lot of good friends in the area for support instead. Being near Boston still has enough job opportunities for DH, although he works from home for now anyway. catgirl on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871518 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 06:48:05 +0000 catgirl 2871518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Last year we moved back to the area we both grew up. Most of our family is within 30 minutes. DH was able to transfer with his company, though it will likely put a stop on moving up within the company. DD was 3.5 when we moved and it feels amazing to finally have some family support. It felt like such an impossible choice though. We both loved where we grew up and there is a lot we still love about the area, but there is a lot we aren't crazy about as well. If our families weren't here I really don't think we would have moved back for a variety of reasons. Becky on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871510 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 05:22:02 +0000 Becky 2871510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It also took me moving away for grad school to learn I needed to be by family to raise a family. I love the town we live in, but I’ve also realized how much I miss the beauty of where I grew up (in the Catskills which is part of the NYC watershed, so lots of incredibly fresh water, swimming in creeks and ponds, beautiful small mountains). We picked the specific town we live in because it has great schools and a great community. Bonus is that DH grew up here so a lot of his family is here. I love living so close to them and raising my kids alongside their cousins. Mrs. Lemon-Lime on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871509 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 04:05:09 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2871509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It took moving away to a new state for me to realize my (second) home state is home. I’m not sure where ultimately LO will be able to for sure call his home since DH and I move for work and (weather). I can probably peg what I don’t want more in a place to live than what I do. Recently someone asked me if I skied 🎿 because he doesn’t see any POCs on the slopes. I first responded that he probably doesn’t see many POCs during his entire stay on his vacation- airport, hotel, restaurants, around town etc and he agreed. I finally answered his question and explained yes I have gone skiing as a kid/ teen and he would know that POC ski if he lived and vacationed in other places that have more POC. That is what I don’t want- my LO to be such a minority that someone genuinely would think my son didn’t have a certain experience just because the person hadn’t seen it for himself. hummusgirl on "How did you decide where to raise your family?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-where-to-raise-your-family#post-2871504 Tue, 12 Feb 2019 01:15:13 +0000 hummusgirl 2871504@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We fell in love with our college town and always knew we wanted to live here long-term. We got out for a decade (first to my hometown and then to NYC) and moved back 4 years ago. My company has an office here, but I work with people in NYC and travel there once a month for 2-3 days at a time. It's worked out great for us and I still feel really lucky to be living where we do. The job market here isn't great but I'm not super ambitious - it's not too high-pressure and I make a good income so I don't really care that I'm moving up the ranks slowly. We have lots of friends and bought a house which is so nice after moving every couple years since high school. Our families are now a few-hour drive away instead of a plane ride. The cost of living is reasonable. It's relatively diverse (at least, our neighborhood and school is). I don't want to move ever!