https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 12 Apr 2026 13:58:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49335 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:01:54 +0000 heffalump 49335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: Maybe when he meets the babies he'll change his mind.... it's hard to not want to give your LO everything they could ever want. I'm always telling my LO I'll give her anything she wants. But then again all she wants now is food and love, and I know I can provide that so it's easy for me to say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49330 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:59:24 +0000 tequiero21 49330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: o, i don't care what my hubby says, they're getting xmas and birthday presents. (i was spoiled too hehe)... HE didn't get it when he was young. we don't have our kids yet, they're coming around march. he just thinks we should give them gifts every once in a blue moon or give them one gift (total, so they share!) so they appreciate it and don't feel entitled to have whatever they want. i don't know. he really likes to push my buttons - either because he just likes to get a reaction from me or he wants to "train" me so i don't get all pissed off lol. even when i know he's trying to push my buttons, i get riled up.... so obviously the latter is not working. i don't really know just how "serious" he is with everything he says. i guess time will tell. but he can be so darn frustrating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49319 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:47:53 +0000 heffalump 49319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: Off subject... but do you not give your kids birthday or christmas presents? I don't feel like it's spoiling if they appreciate it and don't expect it. But I was/am pretty spoiled so I'm probably not the person to ask. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49317 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:45:45 +0000 tequiero21 49317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: yeah, unfortunately for our kids, my hubby thinks all kids now are so spoiled and doesn't want our kids to be raised entitled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49301 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:29:31 +0000 heffalump 49301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: lol, I'm the opposite. I want my lo to go with someone who would spoil her to pieces! Good luck picking someone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49282 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:13:32 +0000 mamabolt 49282@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We picked by process of elimination. DH's mom is a widow in her mid-60s and about to retire, and my parents are approaching 60 themselves, so they are out. DH's half-sister is much older (in her 60s herself) and his half brothers aren't in his life. My brother is in his mid-20s and still lives like a frat boy. So that leaves my sister and her husband. They are about a year younger than I am, and even though they aren't ready for kids yet, they would like them in the future and have the most stable home and available resources. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49268 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:00:49 +0000 tequiero21 49268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: i know. i don't know if he says things like that to piss me off (cuz he knows it pisses me off).... but also, his parents are very frugal and i guess he wants our kids raised that way - frugal = cheapass. no xmas presents, no bday presents, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49257 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:45:03 +0000 Andrea 49257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We picked my parents. We feel like they would provide the best, loving environment for our daughter. They are in good health and still have a lot of energy so I am not concerned with their older age (knock on wood). If their health were to decline, then we could change to DH's bro and wife. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49249 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:37:36 +0000 Mrs. Bee 49249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my parents most likely since they are younger and mr. bee's parents have more of their hands full. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49150 Mon, 09 Jan 2012 07:54:52 +0000 heffalump 49150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: ummm... shouldn't the priority be who takes better care of your lo and not a name? Why does he care so much about a last name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49092 Sun, 08 Jan 2012 21:30:31 +0000 tequiero21 49092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we haven't written it in stone yet. but my husband is adamant about our babies staying with the "our last name" family. so he wants his parents to get first pick. which i find so annoying. i'd rather first pick go to my brother. his brother is no where near able to take care of my babies. and i think our parents are getting way too old (all over 60) to take care of my LOs. we still need to decide.... but i'm hoping sensibility comes into play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-49004 Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:43:54 +0000 daniellemybelle 49004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never really thought about this... we don't have LOs yet, but I would not want our children raised by any of DH's siblings. I just don't agree with their parenting styles, and they live too far away from my parents. DH's parents are too old and I doubt they would be interested in raising small children. </p> <p>In my family, all my siblings are younger and I can't see the oldest of them changing drastically enough in the next several years to be responsible enough for us to even consider it. So that pretty much leaves my parents. They aren't that old (early 50s right now) so I think it would be okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48998 Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:28:05 +0000 erinpye 48998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We picked people in the family (DH's sister and her husband), who we trust, who are close to our ages, and who we think would do a wonderful job raising our LO. I think it's important to pick people in your family, because even friends that feel like family now, just might not still be a huge part of your life in 10 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48917 Sun, 08 Jan 2012 02:57:36 +0000 SugarplumsMom 48917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO isn't here yet but this is something we should think about. DH and I both have younger, single brothers and although I trust his brother a whole lot more when it comes to children, I would hate to put that responsibility onto him. Hubs' sister and her husband are out, they're responsible but I would not feel at all comfortable with that. That leaves either my Mom, single but now renting our her extra rooms to newly divorced women that needed a place (a house of male haters ... haha) or DH's parents that live close-by. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48780 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:21:16 +0000 MegWag 48780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us, it would change as time goes by. At this moment in time, we'd want my parents to take our child. They're 60, but in great shape and seem much younger. Once they get to be too old we'd want my brother to take our kids. He's single, but very financially stable and would be very conscientious about taking good care of our kids. There's a possibility that we'd consider my husband's niece or nephew in the future, depending on their life circumstances, but right now they are 16 and 20. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48763 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:42:06 +0000 MsMamaBear 48763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We decided on my sister. His family has yet to meet Baby Bear, so she is going with the family she knows and loves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48700 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:44:07 +0000 Boogs 48700@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are trying to work on our living trust sometime in the next month or so. The thought of this really stresses me out because I feel like we have no great options and it worries me. For sure not our parents, his are older, mine have their issues and aren't super healthy. My BIL is currently unmarried, but we aren't fans of who he is engaged to. My sister has kids, but we have a little bad history with her husband, they spank (we don't want to spank our kids), they are a different religion than us, and she always says she would jump out a little if she has a third kid, lol. So yeah, this decision is on my mind a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48682 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:51:55 +0000 cyndistar3 48682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea who we would leave our children with, it is such a hard thing to decide. I honestly don't trust any of our family with them other than my grandma... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48679 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:32:34 +0000 chopsuey 48679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents would take care of our LO. We decided this because they're still young and my mom loves my baby girl and is so good with her. If something were to happen to my mom, my big sister would be next in line. She's single, but I trust her to raise my baby well. I left my beloved furbaby with her when I moved and she takes REALLY good care of him. So good it's borderline ridiculous. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48677 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:11:28 +0000 Rubies 48677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As I read this I just asked the hubs who he thinks should take care of LO should anything happen. He said my brother. I was secretly hoping he'd say that! My brother is still single but lives 5 minutes from me and loves his niece to bits. He has a very paternal side to him and I would feel absolutely comfortable leaving LO to him (I made that sound like she's an inheritance or something!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48674 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:02:29 +0000 venice4504 48674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of our parents are out (they're already in their 60's) and his sister is out since she and her husband don't want their own children. It leaves one of each of our best friends and personally I think we're leaning towards the one that lives near us now. Especially since she's starting to settle down and talking about her own kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48628 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 09:35:54 +0000 polkadots 48628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We haven't made a will yet either, but we have decided to leave her with my brother and his fiance. They are the most like us, they are financially stable and I think they would be the only ones who would make an effort to have LO see all the sides of our family. They also are the family that we see the most so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48609 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 08:26:28 +0000 MH.Abroad 48609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've talked about that, but we don't have a LO yet. We don't want to leave our future kids to either set of our parents even though they are young (40's-50's), and our siblings just aren't an option (16-22, unmarried, etc). We have one close friend who we would absolutely trust, but she's also unmarried and maybe not financially able. So we're still thinking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-who-to-leave-your-lo-to-if-something-happens-to-you-and-your-so#post-48602 Sat, 07 Jan 2012 08:03:38 +0000 heffalump 48602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I have yet to make a will, but we talk about it often. I don't know if we're ready to make the commitment of who to leave our LO to if something happens to us. </p> <p>My BIL has an ex wife who we don't like, and he always talks about getting back together with her. He's out because there's no way I'm letting that woman mother my child. That leaves my brother and sister and their spouses. Each has their pros and cons... but I think location will win out in the end. My brother and SIL live here, which would keep my LO at home close to both sets of grandparents.</p> <p>How did you decide? </p>