Hellobee Boards Topic: How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 04:00:24 +0000 pachamama on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888502 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 20:15:54 +0000 pachamama 2888502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @lady baltimore: omg your 1st paragraph is EXACTLY my son. 😭😭 We have a 5 month old too who's a bad sleeper so we need to make some changes. Following! JCCovi on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888479 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 16:34:43 +0000 JCCovi 2888479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We turn on lullabies and will cuddle for 2 songs. After the second song we will stay in the room but sitting over by the door where we can work on our computer or just look at our phones. Still pretty hands on but better then cuddling until they fall asleep! misolee on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888475 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 15:53:23 +0000 misolee 2888475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I did a gradual change. We were all living under one room at my parents house while our house was being built so that’s all my daughter knew and expected (she dropped the crib while we were living there). So at 4ish, I told her I was sleeping on floor. I would slowly creep out. And then couple of months later, I laid down by door with my foot in where she could see until she fell asleep. And talked repeatedly that by 5, I would kiss her goodnight and that would be it. And it worked. But my seconds 3.5 and I’m still sleeping with him :meh: Mrs. Turtle on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888457 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 14:45:55 +0000 Mrs. Turtle 2888457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We do about half and half. Some nights she falls asleep during songs, so we are sort of laying with her in those cases. The night's when she is more wound up, we usually tell her we are going out to use the bathroom, or get water, or get her a stuffed animal. In other words, we make up a task that won't take too long. We, um, move very slowly during that "task" and go back in every 5-10 min or so, sing another song and repeat. Usually once we are out of the room she falls asleep within the first 10 min. We couldn't do cry it out because she shares a room with baby, who is already asleep. And because it scares the crap out of her to be left. So we do a gentle method that gets us out of the room without a big meltdown. It works great for us about 95% of the time. Petitduck on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888456 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 14:45:09 +0000 Petitduck 2888456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @catgirl: we still have a video monitor for my 3.5 year old. So handy to watch for fooling around and know when they actually fall asleep. And it was super cheap. PurplePeony on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888445 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 13:19:07 +0000 PurplePeony 2888445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @catgirl: yeah, I never saw the need for a video monitor when she was a baby but it would be great to have one now! catgirl on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888440 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 13:01:36 +0000 catgirl 2888440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @lady baltimore: So we don't have this exact issue. But when we moved last summer DD was 3.5 and the bedtime routine blew up for awhile. We were caving in to so many random requests, staying in the room longer, and coming back to her room many times. She was having a rough adjustment to the move so I think we rationalized doing it all. But after 2 months of the craziness we decided we had to go cold turkey - with her personality a long drawn out process would have been much worse. We talked about what the new routine would be all day leading up to it and then at bedtime I had her tell me each step. The first few nights were rough but we didn't back down, after a week we were back to normal. @PurplePeony: This is a large part of why we still have a video monitor in DD's room even though she is 4.5. She would read books and play with stuffed animals for hours. This way we can see what she is doing, tell her it's time for bed, but not have to be in the room. Especially because I think it winds her up more when we are in there. PurplePeony on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888437 Fri, 21 Jun 2019 12:52:38 +0000 PurplePeony 2888437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wish I knew. DD is going to kindergarten in the fall and one of us (usually me) still has to lay with her. However, in our case, it’s because she hates going to sleep and will be sneaky and turn up her light to play quietly or look at books if we aren’t paying attention. The kid can easily stay up until 11 or later and the only way to make sure she doesn’t fool around is to actually be present in the room until she’s out. I’m at my wits end so I understand, but don’t have any advice! Petitduck on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888354 Thu, 20 Jun 2019 21:19:25 +0000 Petitduck 2888354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would suggest using a timer. Have a visual timer you bring in with you if need be and agree with her what the time is and then leave. My kid isn’t a snuggler and we always used to just say goodnight and peace out without issue, but we did go through a rough patch a month ago where she was taking 45 minutes to fall asleep and coming out of her room tons and saying she didn’t want to be alone and stuff. Now we say one of us will stay with you for 5 minutes, give her l the requested number of hugs and kisses and then we leave. There hasn’t been any arguing or sadness and it has worked great. When I introduced the idea I made sure we talked about it while getting into pjs every night. She chooses if it’s me or her dad as long as we’re both home. He actually sets a 5 minute timer on his watch. I just tell her when there is 1 minute left and then hug and kiss and leave (I’m out in about 3 minutes). Haha. But the selecting the parent and the number of hugs and kisses seems to work well as it is her controlled stuff. My kid is the same age as yours. BUNBUN on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888352 Thu, 20 Jun 2019 21:17:05 +0000 BUNBUN 2888352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I basically re-sleep trained. I lay down on the floor for a few minutes, then moved to a stool by the door for a few nights. Then just outside the door. Then I did checks: kissed him good night and said I’ll check on you in one minute and went out and held the door shut. Walked him back to bed without engaging, repeat at 2 min, 5 min, 10 min and repeat until asleep. The first couple of nights, I said I wouldn’t come back in unless he was in bed. You got this, mama! lady baltimore on "How did you drop laying down with your preschooler at bedtime?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-drop-laying-down-with-your-preschooler-at-bedtime#post-2888350 Thu, 20 Jun 2019 21:02:40 +0000 lady baltimore 2888350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DD is 3.5. We moved her out of a crib last fall, and dropped the pacifier right after her third birthday, both with little fanfare. Over the winter sometime, the bad habit of laying down with her while she fell asleep crept up on us. The current bedtime routine is brushing teeth, using the toilet, changing into pajamas, reading two books, one story/chat with each parent who is home (usually both of us, but sometimes only one), and then whoever went second telling a story lays down with her until she falls asleep. Some nights she passes out fairly quickly, but other times it seems to take FOREVER for her to fall asleep, and the parent's presence is clearly a stimulation/distraction. I am so ready to drop the cuddling-to-sleep, but I am not sure which strategy to use. I know that I have to start being firmer about obvious stalling techniques (I have definitely been letting some things slide for the sake of not escalating late at night, but I am now on summer break and ready to dig in), but I don't know whether to go with bribery, gradual change, cold turkey, etc. If you have weaned your preschooler off of having a parent in the room until they fall asleep, what worked for you?