https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Jul 2026 12:52:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253270 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:32:14 +0000 Cherrybee 253270@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Update, 8.31pm UK time:</p> <p>DH has been home from work for three hours now and he's not mentioned it at all. He's glued to the Olympics coverage on TV and chattering on to me about "this blokes fastest time" and "this person got a medal". And I just want to scream "I don't care, can we have a baby or what?!". Yet I know I have to wait for him to "process" it and for for him to bring it up next. He's clearly not "thinking about it" now because he's thinking about who runs fastest....! I've been thinking about it every second since I raised the subject and I want an answer NOW! Sob, sob! </p> <p>Meh, this is so frustrating! I hate the not knowing, I can't cope with things being up in the air! I never go to bed on an argument, I hate things being left "undone" as it were.... </p> <p>Oh.... I HATE waiting!!!! LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253233 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:02:08 +0000 howjoyful 253233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was the one that brought the baby subjet up too. I knew I wanted us to try before I got too old (I am 4 years older than him) so a year before we actually started trying we had a conversation and he also said that he will think about it. A few months after that he was the one asking me when should we start officially, so I guess it king of grew on him =] After I took my Implanon he kept asking me when it would be the best time, and what days of the month where our "baby making days" I didn't really charted, so I only had the weeks span idea. It was fun to only try by not preventing, even tho I did start taking pre-natals as soon as I took my birth-control. So it was a very fun process for both of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253137 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 12:48:35 +0000 Charm54 253137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Such an exciting time! I am so ready now (I have been for a while!) but DH may be transferred for work next spring. We will find out this fall if we will have to move or not. If we can stay here (I hope so!) then we can buy a house and get this TTC business started. If not, then I will be dealing with a move across the country, trying to find myself a new job, etc which will likely delay things even further :(</p> <p>In the meantime though I've gone off the pill (feels fantastic!) and am charting so when the time is ready, my body hopefully is too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253132 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 12:44:36 +0000 JoJoGirl 253132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ali: DH takes a while to come around to big decisions, so while we didn't have a strict timeline in mind when we got married, we knew it would be "soon" due to our ages (I am 34 and he is 38). I was ready to start trying 6 months after our wedding and he was ready around 3 months after that. It took MANY MANY conversations for us because he needed to get used to the idea - it's a huge life-changing decision! So definitely don't expect this to be an impulsive decision or that he'll be exactly on the same page as you. </p> <p>Also, as a note, approaching TTC conversations with anxiety about my age was a huge turn-off for my DH - and something I needed to work on within myself. He didn't want to feel pressured to make such a huge decision so I had to learn not to pressure him. I realized (after a while) that it was also healthier for *me* to make the choice to start TTC from a place of hopeful anticipation and excitement, not a place of fear and anxiety. That completely changed the way we talked (and felt) about it for the better. </p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253123 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 12:37:50 +0000 Modern Daisy 253123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Earlier this year, I was 'so over' being on BCP's because I knew we eventually wanted a family and it would most likely take us a while to conceive. So I had a quick discussion with DH and decided to stop taking them. For us it was the right decision because we found out that I have PCOS and actually do need to see a RE. </p> <p>We still aren't officially TTC yet, but we are NTNT and going through the motions to try fertility drugs. I know it will take the doctor a long time to perscribe them and I'm almost 31, so even though we aren't 100% ready I'm thinking ahead and getting things started. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253080 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 12:02:20 +0000 Adira 253080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ali: For sure!!! I figured if my husband wasn't quite on the same page, I was going to do the same thing as my mom - it would've been a guaranteed way to get pregnant because there was nooooooo way Hubs was going to manage the birth control! I was lucky in that I didn't have to, but it's something to think about! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253065 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:52:40 +0000 Cherrybee 253065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@YOURSILVERLINING Yeah, you're right! I did throw it at him like a bolt out of the blue! I've been thinking (read: worrying) about it for a while so I'd gotten used to the idea gradually whereas for him (I'm chuckling to myself now) it must have been such a shock! </p> <p>We're totally on the same page about our "eventual" family. We want two - maybe three - children (we'll see how we get on with two and then decide if a third is for us), we have the plans to extend the house when required, we've had the childcare conversation..... it's just a matter of when, really. </p> <p>As for things he wants to achieve beforehand - I really don't know, great question! I don't think so but I'm going to ask (when he brings this up again) coz that's really important. </p> <p>@ADIRA Just lol, basically! If he had to manage the birth control we'd've been accidentally pregnant years ago! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253044 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:40:17 +0000 Adira 253044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You could try what my mom did! Their conversation went something like this:</p> <p>Her: "I want to have kids!"<br /> Him: "What for?"<br /> Her: "Umm... I'm going off the pill - if you don't want kids, you'll have to provide the protection."</p> <p>Shortly after that, she was pregnant with my older brother and my dad got on the bandwagon. :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-253040 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:30:23 +0000 yoursilverlining 253040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for something as life changing as a baby, it probably makes sense to have several conversations and to keep the dialog open and low pressure for at least a couple of months. Instead of expecting a resolution at the end of a single conversation; if both parties are not on board equally at the same time, just know that it may take a bit of time. Its a huge adjustment to think you don't have to worry about a baby until 2013, and then to have your spouse tell you they want to get pregnant as soon as next month. Does your husband have set goals he wants to meet before kids? Are you basically on the same page about how many kids to have?</p> <p>I'm sorry to hear your friend had trouble conceiving...but I would caution a little on being too worried about missing your window because you are 31. Some people act like your eggs magically dry up after 30, or that you should assume it will take you a long time to conceive. I was 30, my husband 45 and we conceived the first time we didn't use protection. Friends of ours also conceived very quickly and BOTH are over 40. On the other hand, I have friends in their 20's who are unfortunately having trouble. You really never know, but you can get pregnant without issues well into your 30's and beyond. :)</p> <p>Hope you and your husband come to a resolution you are both happy with soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252957 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 10:39:17 +0000 ladyfingers 252957@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also had a bunch of smaller conversations starting when we were engaged. More than a few times I joked that I wanted to get off BC right away and just do it already, and my husband would say back that he was all for that, I was the one who had a wedding dress I wanted to fit into :) Then once we got married, I tried to hold off as long as I could but ended up going off BC in December (we were married in November). It took him by surprise a bit when I said I wanted to start trying because I had waffled back and forth so much. I wanted to wait a year, then I wanted to try right away. I was mostly afraid of not having enough money saved but once I got over my fear of that, and then we made the decision to start looking for a house to buy in January, we took the plunge. He just wanted to make sure that it was a smart decision we were making with our finances, and it seems to have been just fine so far :)</p> <p>We did end up having to hold off on trying starting in February. It was the funniest coincidence, I had been planning all along for a 100% unpaid maternity leave so needed a certain amount in savings to cover my share of expenses for that time period. But then my company announced that they were going to be adding a short-term disability plan that would pay partially for things like maternity leave. We immediately stopped trying (I couldn't be pregnant when signing up and it wouldn't take effect until April) and 2 days later I O'ed! (I was charting). The timing was just weirdo. But now I'm a lot more relaxed knowing I'll have at least 6 weeks of salary coming my way during my 12-week leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252955 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 10:38:16 +0000 StrawberryBee 252955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's funny, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I worry that he doesn't want a baby as much as I do (he just turned 40 and has two children from a prior marriage) but this isn't a surprise to him by any means lol. Throughout our dating I would routinely check in with him that he was still okay with having another baby. I gave it a year...a whole year after our wedding, with the clock ticking louder and louder!...before bringing up the subject. I'll be 33 in November, and I just don't want to wait any more. Neither of us are getting any younger, and while my mother had myself and my brother fairly easily, my sister was a 10 year journey later, with assistance.</p> <p>So I mentioned it to him. And he asked why so soon, and mentioned that he had FB friends turning 40 who were having babies (just bringing up the fact that it wasn't like you turn 35 and your uterus shrivels up. I don't think he was suggesting that we wait that long. At least, I hope not!). And I pointed out all of the other factors in place. So we did baby steps (no pun intended!). I signed up for short term disability when it came up in my company's annual enrollment period in December. When my bcp's came up for renewal I asked him if he wanted me to renew, and he said not. When I reached the end of June's pills I asked him if he wanted me to take the last pill packet on vacation with us, and he said not to. </p> <p>I just want him to be as excited about it as I am, and I worry that he'll do anything to make me happy. But I think I'm also doing him a disservice by assuming that his lack of communication on it indicates a lack of interest. I think it's all too abstract for him now. So I'm feeding my fever by reading HelloBee and just waiting for that BFP:3! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252925 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 10:19:15 +0000 oliviaoblivia 252925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took a while for Mr. Oblivia to get on board. He wants four kids and I'm 31. After many conversations I finally drew up a time line of how feasible it would be for us to have that many before I hit 40. Once he realized that it takes time to get pregnant, cook a baby, breastfeed, then wean a baby before getting pregnant again, he was on board about six months after I first brought it up. Those months were torturous. Then when he was ready our EDD conflicted with my BFF's wedding so we had to postpone.<br /> When we did get a BFP he was and is over the moon, but it was frustrating for me to be SOOOO ready and having to wait for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252917 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 10:13:28 +0000 Minnie_Girl 252917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were surprised, so we never had a conversation about the timing. I didn't want to think about kids for another few years. I'll admit, for most of the pregnancy I've been the LEAST excited person. My husband, after the initial shock, was most excited!</p> <p>I think it can be hard for pregnancy/parenting to feel real to a man. For DH, it was the announcement that we ARE going to have a baby, that a child was a definite reality, that got him pumped. That surprise flipped the switch from "Sure, I'd like to be a father someday" to "Holy frack, I actually got a woman pregnant and the time is now!" It may be that your husband simply won't give a lot of thought to kids unless it's a "real" option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252895 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:59:48 +0000 DillonLion 252895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Welcome!</p> <p>We knew we wanted to start TTC shortly after we got married but hadn't discussed an exact timeline. About two months after we got married I started suggesting that maybe I wouldn't start a new pack of birth control pills the following month. In the last couple of weeks of my pill pack, I casually brought it up a couple of times, and he said he was okay with me not starting a new pack. </p> <p>I had a regular period and then started my first cycle without BC. We were debating on using another barrier method at first, but then in the middle of the night one night, he just woke me up and said "Let's do it. Let's have a baby". And then we did the deed. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252893 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:56:32 +0000 Mrs. Blue 252893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Welcome! Mr. Blue and I had MANY discussions about when to start TTC. I think my first 4 or so posts on the blog basically revolved around that. Mr. B wanted to wait at least a year after our wedding. I did not. Our first anniversary is in a little over a month and I am 6 weeks pregnant. Obviously, he eventually came around. :)</p> <p>I think you really have to evaluate what's right for your situation. We struggles with timing, too, bit there's never a perfect time. We picked what we thought would be the best timing and started TTC then.</p> <p>Sidenote: I'm 30 and was terrified of having fertility issues because two of my besties tried for 5 &amp; 7 years (one finally adopted and one is pregnant now). I got pregnant on the second cycle. While it's always a possibility that it will take you a while to get pregnant, it could also happen right away, so factor that in!</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252884 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:48:42 +0000 Cherrybee 252884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SPANIELLOVE What a story!! I'm so happy for you that he eventually felt like it was something he really wanted to do!! I hope I don't have to go down the spare room route!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252874 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:43:41 +0000 Cherrybee 252874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for all you replies, everyone! </p> <p>@ARTBEE You know, you're right, he does have every right to be shocked by my change of timeline and it was actually a really cool thing for him to go away and think about this big decision - it shows he really cares about it. </p> <p>@ADRIA and @SHIMMER I've actually no idea if he's the kind of guy who mulls things over or if when he says "I'll get back to you" he does!!! He's never said it before! He brought up getting married, it was his idea to buy the house.... this is the first big life changing thing I've approached him about! We'll see! </p> <p>@SHIMMER, as far as the meds go, he didn't know about the contraindications until I showed him last night - one of the drugs is the same drug they use to give chemical abortions so it's really nasty stuff (lowers sperm count and causes birth defects when men take it). I guess it was a shock, poor guy. </p> <p>@SLONEANDPUFFY Thanks for the different perspective. I do need to keep it in my mind that his health is the most important thing and make sure my language when discussing it with him reflects this. Great tip! </p> <p>I'm loving the "oh, I just came off BCP, to see what might happen..." stories! I've been on BCP for 14 yrs and never missed a pill! Its, really, coming off BCP I want his blessing to do - if he thought I was taking my temperature and appraising the consistency of my "CM" (giggle) he'd run screaming from the house!! </p> <p>@MRSJYW - Congratulations on the BFP (I know what that is now!). </p> <p>Again, thanks for all your replies and your lovely stories! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252869 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:41:28 +0000 spaniellove 252869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like we are a little different in that we originally planned to TTC sometime after the wedding and then it didn't happen. We had an unexpected pregnancy, and then a loss, and then I really wanted to start TTC badly. At the time I was 26 and DH was 29, but he didn't feel ready so I agreed to wait and we got a dog instead. Somehow the wait turned into "we're not having kids", partly because of my health issues.</p> <p>By the time we'd been married 5 years, I started to feel like it was unfair that I didn't really make the choice not to have a child but even people I knew who didn't want to be parents got to have one. When I brought this up to DH he kind of saw it coming because we'd just heard about someone getting pregnant. I talked to him about how we had everything we wanted in life. I admit there was some crying and I did get so mad that I slept in the guest room and did not talk to him. </p> <p>Honestly, it has taken him the few months that we've been TTC to really want this in his heart and not just be doing this because I want it. He carries around a parenting book that he reads in his spare time, and talks to me about private vs public schools. So give your DH time, he will come around! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252861 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:37:01 +0000 Mrsbells 252861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we planned to start TTC a year after we got married. but we ended up getting pregnant within 2 months of the wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252860 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:36:12 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 252860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We talked about having kids before we were married and brought it up more seriously after our wedding. I didn't have a set timeline in my head, but my husband did. So we waited until he said he was ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252857 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 09:34:32 +0000 ShootingStar 252857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had lots of talk about it before we were married because I was worried about my age. I'm 34 and he's 28. So we had a lot of discussions about needing couple time vs. missing out on having a family. </p> <p>Our original timeline was to go off BC after our wedding in May and then start trying in the Fall. But in reality we kinda sped up that time frame. In April or so, I decided I wanted to stop taking BC before the wedding. BC kills my sex drive and I wanted to be able to enjoy our honeymoon and not feel guilty and put pressure on myself to do something that I wasn't feeling. So I talked to DH about it, and he was fine with it. Originally we thought we'd use a barrier method for a while, but we ended up not bothering. We kinda figured if it happened, it happened.</p> <p>What really changed was that in June I had a really long cycle (43 days) where I kept testing every so often. At about 40 or 41 days, I got a really strange result on a blue line test that ended up being an evap line. But for a little while I thought I was likely pregnant. And when I was freaking out and told DH, he was so happy. When it turned out to not be positive we were both pretty sad, and decided we would start trying for real the next cycle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252792 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 08:54:43 +0000 LuLu Mom 252792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had planned on waiting one year after getting married and then start TTC, we decided this when we were engaged. We were married in May 2011. I went to the doctor for my annual in December 2011 and we discussed TTC and I mentioned we were planning on trying in a few months, she ran some test. </p> <p>We were told we might have a difficult time getting pregnant due to my irregular/short cycles, she wasn't sure I was ovulating every month/or at all. </p> <p>This freaked us both out &amp; it hit us like a lightening bolt that it could take much longer than we thought, the pull to become parents became super strong and we knew we didn't want to wait any longer. Luckily I had came off BC 2 months before our wedding due to complications it was causing me, so we were just using condoms, easy enough to pull away. </p> <p>We had a trip planned in january to the Bahamas so we said no better time than to start then and move it up a few months. We were a lucky couple that we both had the pull to become parents at the same time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252770 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 08:47:56 +0000 Shimmer 252770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I knew we wanted to have kids from the very start and started seriously talking about it after we got engaged. We talked about it again right before the wedding and decided that we wanted to TTC right away, since my doctors told me that I might have trouble conceiving. I went off BC 5 months prior to the wedding to regulate my periods and ended up pregnant 2 months after the wedding.</p> <p>Even though we talked about it frequently and were on the same page, it was still the scariest moment when we "went for it" finally. </p> <p>You do have some very legit concerns on your hands regarding the medications he's going to be required to take. Does he know about them? Is he one to mull things over for a long while before making a decision, or can you gently bring it up to him again? </p> <p>Also, I would choose my words carefully when talking about others' experiences with TTC. I know my DH would not respond well to "well so-and-so had a hard time getting pregnant, so I don't want to wait just in case." He would do better with "Hun, I'm concerned about my age and your health status affecting our ability to TTC on our original timeline." That way it would be about our situation vs someone else's. *Not that you're approaching it in this way - I just thought of it when you mentioned your friend's struggle*</p> <p>Just my 2 cents :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252766 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 08:44:46 +0000 mrsjyw 252766@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we changed our timeline by a year! we orig weren't going to try until after our 2 year anniv (sept 2012), but both of us went thru diff phases of baby fever during our first year. we ended up with our BFP March 2012... and will now be expecting our LO this Nov! :)</p> <p>Aside from the orig timeline change, we didnt have any official convos about when to officially start; it kind of just happened gradually... went of BC to see how long I'd regulate, then we tried NTNT for a couple months, then actively TTC. </p> <p>I think the seed has been planted, I'd wait a lil while and bring it up again later... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252747 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 08:31:33 +0000 regberadaisy 252747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For us we had always wanted kids and we didn't TTC for a variety of the same typical reasons. Save some more money, get a better job for my husband, blah blah blah.</p> <p>Then we suddenly lost our BIL and it made us realize how short life really is and all our reasons of waiting was just not important. At all. So we mutually agreed to immediately start TTC.</p> <p>Maybe give him a couple more days to think about it then bring it up again casually. I certainly understand your concerns; did you bring them up to him? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252707 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:55:16 +0000 looch 252707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We changed our timeline, we just started TTCing a few months before we originally planned. We didn't discuss it too much, my husband doesn't believe in worrying about things you can't control, so no matter how I tried to present the information about being less successful with age, he wouldn't budge. For him, it was an emotional trigger that caused him to change his mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252692 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:34:32 +0000 mamimami 252692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had talked before we got married and more or less stuck to the timing we'd discussed.... </p> <p>I know this does not help at all but you have time, so don't get so worked up that your husband starts to think that TTC is more important than he and his treatment are. I don't know how he feels but that was one thought that crossed my mind while I was reading your post. Be sure you're putting him first.</p> <p>(Sorry! Unsolicited advice. Take it for whatever it's worth.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252686 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:26:40 +0000 Adira 252686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I don't think I have any advice for you. After Hubs and I got married and were on our honeymoon, we talked about when we wanted kids, and we agreed on when we were 28 (we were 25 at the time). I really started having baby-fever at 26, but I had this huge Vegas trip planned already for right before my 28th birthday, so we just agreed to wait. I kept saying "When I come back from Vegas, it's BABY TIME!" and he'd roll his eyes at me and ignore me. Well, after I came back from Vegas, I said "I'm going off the pill!" and we just started trying.</p> <p>I don't know your husband, but is he the kind of guy that when he says he'll think about something, he'll get back to you soon? My husband isn't like that - I would have to keep bringing it up in order to get an answer. So you may have to do the same, depending on your husband. Give him a couple days, and then bring it up again. Maybe point out how long it can take to get pregnant, and that if you start trying now, you may end up having to wait until after his treatment anyway - trying is no guarantee you'll get pregnant right away. Point out that you feel ready and that you think he'll be ready too, and that even if you DO get pregnant right away, you still have nine months to prepare.</p> <p>Good luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252685 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:24:14 +0000 MrsTiz 252685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're kindof the weird ones here, we never really had "the talk", one night we just got caught up in the heat of the moment ;) and then afterwards we both looked at eachother and said "are we doing this?" and he said "Yeah, I think it's time" I stopped taking BCP and we started trying actively </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-that-now-was-the-time-to-try-and-how-did-the-conversation-with-your-partner-pan-out#post-252675 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:14:02 +0000 Mrs.B 252675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubby and I had been talking about having a baby for a long time. We both knew that we wanted another child at some point. I am 23 Hubby is 39 so his age was a factor in our timing. I was a runner before getting pregnant and wanted to run a marathon in Washington DC this October so we had planned on waiting till after that. As the months passed I just couldn't wait to start trying. We briefly talked about trying sooner then just kind of went for it and got pregnant on the first month of trying. Now I will be having a baby in October instead of running a marathon :). We have always had a very open conversation regarding children so that really helped us both feel comfortable and confident in speaking with each other about our wants and fears. </p>