Hellobee Boards Topic: How did you know you were done having kids?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How did you know you were done having kids? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 19 Jun 2026 00:25:31 +0000 snowjewelz on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794560 Tue, 02 Jan 2018 12:42:37 +0000 snowjewelz 2794560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Alba4: I think DH is really looking forward to having more time for each other too with DD2 out of the baby phase! Ajsmommy on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794519 Tue, 02 Jan 2018 10:12:51 +0000 Ajsmommy 2794519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Both DH and I always wanted 2. I felt like 2 would be manageable but 3 would be too much for me. We had a hard time getting pregnant with #2. My age is also a huge factor. For all of these reasons I knew/know I am done. Our family feels complete. I honestly couldn't handle having a 3rd kid, I give every one with big families kudos. I go cray cray with my 2. kiddosc on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794511 Tue, 02 Jan 2018 09:56:47 +0000 kiddosc 2794511@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just feel done. Two makes sense financially and logistically for us. We have a boy and a girl. I certainly miss baby snuggles, but can see a future on the horizon where we have bigger kids and I can have more autonomy again. I also worry about the environmental impact of having more kids and don't think that large families are a sustainable model for the world anymore. Kemma on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794374 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 21:04:01 +0000 Kemma 2794374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @QBbride: Both DH and I come from big extended families (we each have about 20 cousins!) and I’ve always had this vision of my grandchildren having lots of cousins and enjoying big family gatherings which is part of why I can see myself having a bigger family. It makes me sad that my children will only ever three cousins and they’re not going to get to experience the big family love that DH and I had as kids. I’m pretty sure that having four kids is tough but I think the rewards would be worth it (although four does complicate the logistics!) @Cherrybee: 💕💕💕 GoGoSnoGirl on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794333 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 13:28:38 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2794333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My one is a handful & given I had her at 41 I didn't really ever get my heart set on more. We ntnp for a while, and I got excited a few times I was a day or 2 late, but recently am just feeling like our family of 3 is complete. My sanity, our semi-frequent travels & our financial situation are better off as a family of 3. That said, I'm envious of all the mamas with baby bumps that I encounter & would love to see my DD as a big sister. :bummed: ladybee on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794328 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 12:16:54 +0000 ladybee 2794328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Foodnerd81: it’s weird how it works out. We probably won’t have anymore for all the logical reasons but my heart wants one more because it has convinced my head it would be lit girl. Foodnerd81 on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794326 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 12:02:05 +0000 Foodnerd81 2794326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @ladybee: it’s funny- I truly don’t know how I would feel if we had two boys. We both always had a feeling we would have two boys and I was fine with it. Then our first was a girl and I had this overwhelming feeling of “of course I always always wanted a girl and how could I not have known!” But I wonder if it was flipped if I would have felt that way anyway. ladybee on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794317 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 11:02:15 +0000 ladybee 2794317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Foodnerd81: I feel like I’d feel 100% done if we had had a girl. But that desire for a girl makes me want to try again birdofafeather on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794315 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 10:07:41 +0000 birdofafeather 2794315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I’m pregnant with #3 and i know without a doubt that this is it. I’m looking forward to loving on this babe and taking in all the lasts. Because i knew that #2 wasn’t the end. I don’t know that I’ll feel like #3 completes us as a family but i do know that we’re tapping out after this no matter what! Foodnerd81 on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794303 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 08:59:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 2794303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just feel done, which is wonderful since logistically and financially it also works out best to have two. Obviously there are loads of objective reasons that two is better- normal car, two parents and two kids means everyone has a parent at their soccer game, normal tables at restaurants... but this aren’t really good enough reasons if you do want a third! We just feel like our family is complete. Plus I feel like I couldn’t handle a third pregnancy and having a third infant. I couldn’t handle splitting my attention between yet another kid and the two I already have. I don’t feel like it would be fair to my kids I already have because I know what it does to me. The only thing that ever gives me pause is seeing DH rough housing with little boys. He always wanted a boy and we have two girls, who are awesome but are not as into rough housing and boy things. Of course having a third doesn’t mean t would be a boy and if it was doesn’t mean it would be a boy who likes the kinds of things DH envisions doing with a son anyway. ElbieKay on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794289 Sun, 31 Dec 2017 07:25:26 +0000 ElbieKay 2794289@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Well we are older parents. I always wanted a second and it has taken two years of trying. I am now pregnant again after two miscarriages since my son was born. But we found out this week that my pregnancy is twins. We were definitely NOT planning on a third kid! Assuming this pregnancy works out -- it is still early, and it is high risk -- we will DEFINITELY be done after this! I actually hate the baby stage and am already looking forward to their second birthday. But two identical babies will be adorable! Shantuck on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794277 Sat, 30 Dec 2017 21:10:30 +0000 Shantuck 2794277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I’m currently going through this debate as well. My younger one is only 13 months, though, but I’m 38 and was diagnosed with a diminished ovarian reserve so I don’t have a lot of time to make a decision. I had issues conceiving my second so we had decided to just to NTNP and just see what happened with having a third when I ended up pregnant that first month. I ended up miscarrying a couple weeks ago at 9 weeks. I was definitely conflicted the entire time - worried I was taking on more than I could handle in a two working parent household, worried about the age gap being less than two years and this not letting my baby be a baby for long enough, etc. I had always envisioned having three so I vascillate between wanting to try again and not wanting to deal with another loss, pregnancy, newborn, etc. I know I don’t have to decide today but I also want to know what my life plan is and whether I should get rid of baby and maternity stuff. It’s hard. QBbride on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794260 Sat, 30 Dec 2017 18:38:27 +0000 QBbride 2794260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I desperately want a third (we already have a boy and girl) and maybe even a fourth too. I lovvve babies but worry about the logistics (bigger car, family holidays etc). I also wonder whether I really want 4 KIDS or just babies, you know? Like 4 teenagers...? My youngest is 2.5 and the timing never seems right so I’d say there will be a 3.5-4 year age gap between a baby and my current youngest. Then I worry about whether that’s too much of an age gap? All this to say, I don’t know how to tell when you’re “done”. I don’t feel done in my heart. Alba4 on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794183 Sat, 30 Dec 2017 06:55:05 +0000 Alba4 2794183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @hellobeeboston: I pretty much agree with everything! We are very similar in situation! While the idea of having another beautiful child seems lovely, I personally don’t feel like I can handle a third. I don’t always feel like I can divide myself enough for my kids already, and I think I’d feel overstretched. My teaching job is demanding too. Luckily both my husband and I are happy and thankful for our 2 healthy boys. I’m really starting to feel like myself again. My body is back. My relationship with my husband is the best it’s ever been. I’m so happy to be moving out of the baby phase. That’s how I know I don’t want a third. It’s pretty personal though. snowjewelz on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794026 Fri, 29 Dec 2017 10:33:18 +0000 snowjewelz 2794026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Cherrybee: Amen sister, me too! God ever only gave us two girl names so we always joke if that means we don't have to do anything to prevent pregnancies :silly: snowjewelz on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2794025 Fri, 29 Dec 2017 10:32:14 +0000 snowjewelz 2794025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Pickle: What your MIL say is so true! If money/age/energy etc are not factors, I'd be having ALL the babies but still you gotta be done at some point! @Becky: I am so there with you! But I had our 2nd thinking we're done, and I am mostly just accepting that we're done and mostly happy but then there are days when I wonder too. I think I'm just gonna assume I'm done for now. DD2 is only 1 so we def aren't pressed for time Cherrybee on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793990 Fri, 29 Dec 2017 05:29:45 +0000 Cherrybee 2793990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Kemma: ahh, congratulations! You're my mummy hero - you always have the best advice and great perspective. You're going to rock 3 (and 4....5.....6...?) I always wanted three children.... In fact I'd go one step further and say that I KNEW I would have three children - two girls close in age and a boy a few years later. My girls are here, exactly as I had imagined them. But right now I can't see that we will ever add number three. It's just not viable financially, then there's all the logistics - bigger house, bigger car etc. But the most important factor is that neither of us enjoys the baby stage and I'm not sure we could survive any more sleep deprivation! I don't *want* to do it all again. Yet my family doesn't quite feel complete. I'm just putting it in God's hands. His will be done. Maybe we will have a surprise? Maybe we will feel ready one day. Maybe we will adopt? Maybe child #3 will be a pet! I don't know. But that's how I'm making peace with it. Im giving it to God. Kemma on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793988 Fri, 29 Dec 2017 03:46:17 +0000 Kemma 2793988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Don’t ask me, I’m pregnant with #3 and already considering #4! cyndistar3 on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793985 Fri, 29 Dec 2017 01:16:14 +0000 cyndistar3 2793985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm pregnant with #4 and I just pretty sure this is our last biological child. Last time I felt like we couldn't possibly be done, this time I'm very much preparing myself for the probability that I won't be pregnant again and while it is bittersweet I feel rather at peace about it. We plan to do foster care once our little are older and moving out. Becky on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793977 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 22:25:52 +0000 Becky 2793977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am so conflicted about this too so definitely following this thread. What some said about not dealing well with small children, being stretched thin, and never feeling done in your heart resonates. I went through pregnancy and babyhood with #2 assuming we’d have another, vacillated for months about whether we’d have a third, spent a few months in the 2 and done camp, and now am back to wavering. Our plan is to wait and see how it is with our girls in school (or at least one in kindergarten), and also ask for their input. We work full time and I feel like their opinion at probably ages 4 and 7 could be a true test of whether or not we could handle another. If they say yea right we don’t see enough of you as is, then no #3. I also want to try a few trips before then and if we enjoy it a lot then maybe we don’t sacrifice those experiences and stick with 2. Mrs. Pickle on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793969 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 21:57:32 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2793969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My MIL told me in your heart you are never truly done, so you have to listen to your head. I can see why she says that. I hate pregnancy, but I love having a baby. I adore the baby stage. Once I’m past it for good I will definitely be sad but I can’t keep having babies forever! bhbee on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793952 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 20:49:32 +0000 bhbee 2793952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Also i know a lot of people who had their first two close together and then waited even 5 years before having another, and were ready because they had reset on all the baby stuff and still wanted to try again. Most of those people gave away their stuff though!! bhbee on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793951 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 20:45:35 +0000 bhbee 2793951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It’s a tough one, but it was in my heart to try for a third from the moment #2 was placed in my arms at birth. I had to convince my husband a long time (he was on the logistics side which is also totally valid), we tried and lost a baby at 11w and had to convince him again, then I started to lose faith during months of bfn and he had to convince me to keep on trying, and now we are early pregnant again. I feel like it was the right thing ... but i also feel sure we are done after this. Maybe even if this pregnancy doesn’t work out. I think if your heart is not totally in it, at least wait and see. Seems like many people become more sure as they get away from the baby phase but that was not true for us. skipra on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793949 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 20:31:30 +0000 skipra 2793949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am like 95% of the way to accepting that we are done. The reason is because when I think about it, I just do not want another baby. I love my babies and all that came with them but I don't want to go through it again. We have 3 boys and I feel like people love to ask if we will try again for a girl and my DH said something that really resonated with me...if we were meant to have a girl we would have by now. So for those two reasons I feel done with having babies. Jennibenni on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793947 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 20:08:17 +0000 Jennibenni 2793947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @meredithNYC: I’m so glad you posted that, I never thought about it so concretely but I realize I am the same. We’ve decided to stop at two but of course a part of me is questioning if that’s right and this thread is helping me be sure. Mamatimes3 on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793929 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 16:50:20 +0000 Mamatimes3 2793929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ About a month after I had my second, I very much knew I wanted a 3rd. I knew that I had a third child in my heart as crazy as that sounds. When she was born, my family felt 100% complete. All I can say is that it was a strong feeling. I still get sad at the thought of no longer having a baby. But it’s more the aspect of them growing up, not necessarily wanting another child. catlady on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793921 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 16:09:25 +0000 catlady 2793921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This may sound dumb, but how would you feel if you unexpectedly found out you were pregnant tomorrow? Pre-baby 2, I would have been happy (and WAS happy, because this actually happened to me!). Now, after 2 kids, I would feel way more conflicted. We would make it work, but I think it would take me a long time to come to terms with it. That's how I know that 2 is right for us. wrkbrk on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793917 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 15:51:49 +0000 wrkbrk 2793917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Easy in some ways because DW only wants one :P So it did feel nice to clear out and donate everything as we finished with it! I do think about having another tiny baby around (a lot actually) but I don’t ever think about having another kid. Does that make sense? I think the question is answered for me personally because multiple children doesnt appeal - just multiple wee newborns does ;) Give me all the babies!! Haha. meredithNYC on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793916 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 15:50:30 +0000 meredithNYC 2793916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I just finally accepted that I'm not great at emotionally dealing with all the demands of young children. I'm happy with my two and just don't want to stretch myself too thin. Other reasons: my age, my hatred of pregnancy, my love of sleeping through the night and this heinous political climate which actually, legitimately scares me most days. LemonJack on "How did you know you were done having kids?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-you-know-you-were-done-having-kids-1#post-2793914 Thu, 28 Dec 2017 15:36:09 +0000 LemonJack 2793914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't have a good answer for you. I'm in the same boat. We have two girls and I love that, logistically, life with two would be easier. We could travel more, divide our time more easily, etc. At the same time, sitting around our dinner table feels a little lonely to me. I grew up as one of three so that's how I envision a family. Logically I want two, but my heart says three. But, pregnancy and the newborn stage again??? Ugh.