https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 15:08:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169675 Fri, 25 May 2012 21:25:25 +0000 Sweet T 169675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: My experience was exactly the same. The girl that was my closest friend hasn't even met my LO. We lived in my hometown until he was 4.5 months old. It's really inexcusable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169672 Fri, 25 May 2012 21:14:06 +0000 woodentulip 169672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One of my closest mom friends has totally disappeared. And it breaks my heart! We both have two now, so I get being busy, but they are practically the same age, and I would LOVE her to meet the new babe, and meet hers! And not to mention let our older ones play! But I feel like I must have done something to seriously offend her! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169669 Fri, 25 May 2012 21:02:12 +0000 SleepyMonkey 169669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm am pregnant with my first now, and I felt like that already happened with one of my close friends. I've heard from some of my friends with kids that it is common for single or childless friends to take a step back from the friendship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169655 Fri, 25 May 2012 20:05:04 +0000 calsmom 169655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have many friends where we currently live, but my 2 previous employers (used to nanny) have shown so much interest in seeing us and making sure we are all okay and offering to help us out however. We have turned our employee/employer relationship into a friendship which I am very happy about. All of my close friends live far away from us, but they have all checked in on me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169648 Fri, 25 May 2012 19:48:55 +0000 chopsuey 169648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My friends visited us at the hospital and gave us space. Got the occasional email and text asking how things were though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169638 Fri, 25 May 2012 19:24:13 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 169638@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yup!!! it's actually made me really sad, but I figured I had to let it go. Sure they were all excited that I was pregnant... the first time around they came to the hospital, and a few times at home, the second time around, they only send me a txt saying congrats!</p> <p>I understand that we aren't in the same "stages" but still its disappointing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169613 Fri, 25 May 2012 18:55:20 +0000 heffalump 169613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some of my close friends, that I used to consider best friends, didn't see my LO until she was over 2 months old. It made me really sad. They also showed no interest in my wedding. They aren't married and don't have babies, so they have no idea how important these things are to a person. But I just don't get how they can not know that a baby is the most important thing in the world to a person, and want to meet them. Needless to say, we're not BFF's anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169287 Fri, 25 May 2012 13:16:46 +0000 Grace 169287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the other posters are bang on. We (those that have no kids), hear so many stories about sleepless nights and other assorted craziness, that we think that we will be a bother. Or that the time we visit or phone will be the one time that you and the baby have gotten to sleep. Ask them to come for coffee the next day (and that they should bring the Starbucks). They'll probably be glad you did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169262 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:45:43 +0000 skibobrown 169262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I agree that it's probably that your childless friends just don't understand that you need help and instead think that you probably want your space. I look back on how I treated my friends with new babies before having one of my own, and I'm kind of appalled. Now I know that the best thing is to visit with food in hand, do some chores, say hi to the baby, listen to the mom talk about whatever she wants to... and then leave before your visit becomes overwhelming. I never would have known to do most of those things before having a baby of my own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169260 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:42:21 +0000 autumnlove 169260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a ton of friends visiting us after LO was born....every weekend for a month! I hope they will do the same for any future babies but I doubt it! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169256 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:36:23 +0000 mrsjazz 169256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: That's horrible! I don't get it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169254 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:33:34 +0000 plantains 169254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: that makes me really sad :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169250 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:28:23 +0000 Andrea 169250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: That makes sense then. People with no kids...they don't know sometimes....</p> <p>I am sure some of your friends with no kids will respond to specific requests a lot better!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169248 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:23:51 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 169248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>almost every single one of my friends has basically acted like I don't exist since I had a baby. In fact, even my best friend hasn't made a single visit, even though she said she was soooooooo excited to meet her "niece." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169244 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:22:11 +0000 Pipers Mommy 169244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>my friends with children have been great, my childless friends not so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169243 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:18:04 +0000 mrsjazz 169243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope it's that they assume I want space. These friends do not have children. I only have a couple of friends in the city who have children and they have all been great, giving me breastfeeding and newborn tips.</p> <p>I guess because I'm the kind of friend that asks if my friends need help, I assumed they would do the same for me. I have<br /> asked when they were coming to visit and I get "next week" but next week comes and goes. I am going to specifically ask for help<br /> and see what happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169236 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:02:47 +0000 Andrea 169236@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe people assume that you want your space? I can see that happening. Everyone kinda left me alone and I liked it that way! Do your friends have kids of their own? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169235 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:02:09 +0000 Mrs. Pen 169235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>do they have kids of their own?</p> <p>I feel like it may tend to be the norm, people change so much after having a kid that kidless-people shy away or think that their friend would no longer be interested in their childless life now that they have a baby to worry about. I don't know if that's it, but there are a couple of my friends with which our relationship hasn't stayed as strong since I became a mom and they're still single. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169230 Fri, 25 May 2012 12:00:19 +0000 MamaMoose 169230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still preggers so I haven't had experience as the one having the baby. But I can give you some perspective from the other side. When friends of mine have babies I would jump at the drop of a hat to help if they just asked me. But sometimes I hesitate to reach out to them because I'm worried that I'm being more of a bother than a help. Some people want to be left alone when they have a newborn so it's hard to know what to expect as an outsider. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-friends-treat-you-after-you-gave-birth#post-169220 Fri, 25 May 2012 11:55:55 +0000 mrsjazz 169220@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Because everyone was so excited about me having a baby, I thought that excitement would continue afterwards, but it hasn't. I'm a bit disappointed by some of my friends. They have not been in touch (except for congratulation texts or FB messages). A couple of friends have been over to meet the baby once, but that's it. These were the same friends who told me that they would love to come give me a break or were going to be visiting the baby all the time. I have had to reach out to a majority of them just to say hi.</p> <p>It's interesting because the people I least expected (like the girlfriend of a friend) have come by to bring me food, run errands for me, or hold the baby so that I can shower. And she contacted me to ask if I needed help, but none of my close friends who live in the city have even asked.</p> <p>I'm looking into joining some mom groups, but I feel sad that it seems my close friends don't care. </p> <p>Has anyone else experienced friend let-down since having children? </p>