https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 07 Aug 2026 06:49:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085460 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 16:23:39 +0000 teawithpaloma 2085460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: wow wow Anagram, i am so glad i read your post! We are the same. It's been challenging especially during sleep training and when he wants to go out and about during the weekend which causes messed up nap schedules!! I'm glad to know someone is in the same boat as me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085446 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 16:17:57 +0000 petunia354 2085446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Better than me! So patient and gentle with our son. He loves bringing him into bed with us and definitely coddles him a lot. He did more wakeups than I did and I felt like was more "motherly" than I was. I felt self conscious about it for a long time actually. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085430 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 16:08:50 +0000 Bubbles 2085430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think DH adjusted to fatherhood quicker than I adjusted to motherhood, and he definitely bonded with our LO much quicker - despite me EBFing and SAH. He was always willing to do whatever was needed - but he did look to me to take the lead very much at the start. We started bottle feeding at 7 months and that did help DH feel more confident in caring for LO, as he felt like he could meet any need that arose. Now at 14 months LO loves playing with his dad - he can have him in fits of giggles in seconds. I am away for 2 nights next weekend for my sisters hen do (first night away from LO!), and DH is so excited about looking after him alone for a weekend. It's very cute although I think he will be surprised by how tired he is by Sunday afternoon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085426 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 16:06:20 +0000 photojane 2085426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He did great. He only ever held one baby before we had LO, so he was super nervous, but he took to it so well. He let me take the lead in the early days, but he was so helpful to me and sweet with our daughter. He's only gotten better as she's gotten older and more fun. Of course we all have our struggles as parents, but bonding was never an issue. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085424 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 16:04:58 +0000 youboots 2085424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: J is such an amazing Dad. He is so creative and fun with your girl. Whenever I am around you three I hope we can do as good job as you do. Tear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085420 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 16:02:23 +0000 littlejoy 2085420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catomd00: @youboots: Totally agree. We had some extra stressors (not baby related), but it was still the greatest year of our lives. It was hard. SO HARD at times, but it was hard in a good way ... It was work I wanted to do. The obstacles were manageable, and we both really fell into our roles. Last week, we were sitting on the couch before bed, and he just said, "I really love being a dad!" -- It made me cry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085414 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 15:59:46 +0000 littlejoy 2085414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Overall, it was amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better transition into parenthood/motherhood/being first time parents. He did literally everything, which I think was good for him. He saw that we both needed him, and it gave us all a huge sense of purpose. </p> <p>He was able to take a really long paternity leave, which helped a lot.</p> <p>I think I expected him to take a bit to warm up to the baby. While we planned our pregnancy, he just didn't express an overwhelming excitement before she was born. He was excited, but obviously, he wasn't carrying her, so I think it meant he had to wait until he met her. The moment he caught her, he started sobbing (which he never does). It was a switch. - The two of them are going to be trouble!</p> <p>Physically, the first week was really hard on him. He's always done really well with little sleep, but he was literally doing everything (I tore &amp; was in bed recovering, and having extreme BFing issues). He almost got in a car accident because he briefly spaced out/fell asleep at a stop light on his way to get me nipple cream. </p> <p>So, emotionally, it was awesome. He was awesome. Physically, I was surprised the beginning was so hard on him. After a week or so, he was good, but he really took a beating that first week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085398 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 15:52:44 +0000 autumn865 2085398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With DD1 I had post delivery complications so I was taken away to the OR leaving DH alone with the baby for a few hours. I think having this time they were able to bond immediately. But in terms of stages, DH definitely enjoyed her when she got older and more interactive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085113 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 14:03:19 +0000 catomd00 2085113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: just to give you hope, we just completed our first year of parenthood (second of marriage) and it was the best year we have ever had together! I know a lot of people can be downers about it sayin how tough it is but that was not the case at all for us. A lot of people think I'm lying when I say that! Good luck and enjoy the ride! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085111 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 14:02:30 +0000 Mae 2085111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Going to be a bit of an outlier here and say... it was really rough. I think his transition into fatherhood was the hardest thing our marriage has gone through so far. I think first we both had a really hard time because we had a really hard newborn. She screamed for hours and hours every day for the first month of her life. We were both sort of terrified of her. Like if her eyes were open she was pissed off so we lived on tiptoes trying not to wake her. And then once we got over the worst of it, he was back at work but she was still really cranky in the evenings so he would come home to a crying baby and a stressed out wife. Add to the fact that I was suffering from c- section complications that put him in the position of having to take care of some not very pleasant medical needs for me (which he did like a rock star and never complained, but still) and some serious eating issues from our LO that left me bleeding and literally crying through every nursing session... I think that he sort of grew to resent how hard she had made our lives. And especially how hard my life was. He saw what a hard time I was having with feeding her and how much pain I was in and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it and that was really hard for him to watch. So yea. The first few months of her life were not good for him. He was a good dad. He did all the stuff he needed to do. He was there for her and there for me. But (un?)fortunately we have an extremely honest relationship and he was NOT bonded to her initially. He felt obligation and commitment to her, but not love. He did not look forward to coming home from work every night. </p> <p>And I couldn't be mad because he was doing the right stuff and he was trying. But I could tell he was acting out of obligation and not love and it really bothered me. Because I DID fall in love with her (probably around the 4-6 week mark) and it was hard for me to understand how he didn't love her yet. </p> <p>So yea. It was just really hard. But we got through! LO is 9 mo now and DH is an awesome dad and he does love her. I think he is still not as adjusted to the realities of our new life as I am, but overall I think he is happy and it is getting better all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085108 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 14:02:20 +0000 MrsMccarthy 2085108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a rough start. My husband got very depressed and distant until about 6-8 weeks or so and from there is was gradual. He is an amazing dad now and has been for some time but the initial process of bonding and losing my attention was hard for him. He basically had PPD at first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085103 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:59:39 +0000 catomd00 2085103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He loves kids and was great from the start! However, since we nursed I do think he took a bit of a back Seat and waited for me to come to him since I sort of took control. He has always been interactive buy now that she is older and much less dependent on mommy, he is mich more proactive in taking control and doing things (eg early on he would wait for me to tell him she was fed and I needed him to take her from me so I could sleep. Now, he gets up with her in the morning and feeds her and plays with her and gets her dressed). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085065 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:48:44 +0000 MapleMoose 2085065@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He bonded immediately because the moment he spoke LO1 turned her head and looked right at him. He was so happy that she recognized his voice. Plus she had low blood sugar and we were supplementing with formula to raise her blood sugar levels so he got to feed her a lot in those first few hours. I think it helped him bond with her quickly. I also pumped fairly early on so he fed her a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2085037 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:39:58 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2085037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is super bonded to our toddler and is a wonderful dad, but I don't think he enjoys the newborn stage. I mean, to be fair, it's my least favorite too ;) But since I EBF and SAH I spend soooo much time with the boys in their newborn stages, and I'm just more comfortable with them at this age than he is. He really started to enjoy parenting when LO1 hit 4 months or so. I think he's cherishing it earlier this time with H, who just started smiling a few days ago and isn't colicky like our first, but he still says he can't wait until he can play and interact more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084985 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:22:06 +0000 Chillybear 2084985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dont want to speak for my husband but from my perspective we really struggled with him taking an active role in parenting. I was very hurt for many months that his life seemed unfazed by having a baby. He was only home with me for a few days before going back to work. I did all of the middle of the night wake ups, because i was breastfeeding. I would give him options like "do you want to wash the dishes or give her a bath?" and he always chose the non-baby task. He would get upset if i didnt sit and watch tv with him because i wanted to go to bed early or had to get a jump on things for the next day. Because of all this she had a severe mommy preference. </p> <p>I would say somewhere in the 6-9 month range he really started interacting with her on a regular basis, around 12 months she started coming out of her mommy preference and would ask for "daddy" let him do things for her. and only in the last 2 months (she's 17m now) has he offered and successfully done a wake up and gotten her to go to sleep. In the last month he's had 2 days he had to stay home with her while i went to work. </p> <p>Hindsight is 20/20 but if i could do it again there's a lot I would have done differently from the beginning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084948 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:10:04 +0000 LuLu Mom 2084948@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I will say that pregnancy has been our worst time in marriage. This one has been better, but my first pregnancy I had quite a bit of anxiety so it was an added stress to our marriage. But honestly we had other friends who delivered within days of us and they talked about how rough it was and they were bickering a lot...but we just didn't have that. Sure we had our moments like anyone but overall it was great. That was even with a reflux baby who vomited (not just spit up but puked through 4-6 outfits a day) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084942 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:08:51 +0000 catlady 2084942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think DH bonded with LO faster, and we learned together. He jumped right in and really does do 50% (or sometimes more!) of the parenting. In terms of actually adjusting, the newborn stage was hard for us, but I think he adjusted faster. But that might be because he was actually able to get away sometimes while I stayed home with her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084941 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:07:43 +0000 looch 2084941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 4, I still consider my husband and I to be first time parents....it's an evolution.</p> <p>We're still adjusting, with every new stage, there are new issues, challenges and celebrations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084931 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:04:40 +0000 youboots 2084931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LuLu Mom: I'm hoping this is what happens with us. I feel like being parents will give us both a more important purpose, I don't mean to be naive but I think it could be the best year to date. Thanks for sharing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084924 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:01:43 +0000 Mamasig 2084924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He had zero problems adjusting. It came completely naturally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084913 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:00:36 +0000 LuLu Mom 2084913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He adjusted great, we frequently talk about how the first year of her life was our best year of marriage to date. Most say it's the hardest, but we just really fell into a mold and love with our new family/life and it suited us. He's a natural too, I was worried because he refused to hold babies before she came, but once it was his own he really just stepped up and did all the duties with me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084897 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:57:15 +0000 LAZB 2084897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was instantly bonded with both of our babies. He doesn't normally handle sleep deprivation or stress all that well, but does an amazing job and doesn't let those things bother him so much when it comes to being a dad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084874 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:49:31 +0000 snowjewelz 2084874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I too think DH adjusted faster &amp; better, since I have to deal with all these physical things pp, and was very emotional the first few weeks. Even now at 12 weeks I'm the one that worries and has anxiety about everything while DH is more at ease. But I'm still the more patient one :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084849 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:40:20 +0000 MarieJ 2084849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, it took him a while with our first daughter. I know he loved her right away, but their bond grew stronger when she was around 4 months and out of the newborn phase. That's when he became awesome!</p> <p>With our second daughter, he adjusted easier of course because he was used to the whole idea of parenting and all it entails :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084825 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:32:52 +0000 sarac 2084825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fatherhood came very naturally to my husband. So much that the nurse in the nicu asked if he had another child, because he acted like a 'second time dad'. He just knew right away what to do and how to act. It was amazing. I'd expected him to be more excited for a kid he could play with, but he loved having a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084785 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:15:19 +0000 Cherrybee 2084785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH adjusted really easily. It's me who wasn't at all prepared!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084770 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:08:33 +0000 birdofafeather 2084770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>he did great initially as DD was pretty easy and portable, but kinda had a harder time as she got to be a toddler and we have to really be parents now with discipline, etc (rather than just meeting her basic needs of sleeping, eat, pee, poo). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084764 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:03:34 +0000 avivoca 2084764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's still learning. He definitely loves H, but right now especially he's having a hard time with not being able to get everything he wants immediately. I think that now that she's older, it's really setting in that he isn't able to do everything that he wants to do (hobby-wise) because we have H now. He used to go mountain biking for hours every weekend and could just buy a new bike/parts when he felt like it, and that's just not feasible with a toddler and a wife who also has her own hobbies (I'm a runner). It's slowly getting better, but it's been rough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084760 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 12:01:17 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2084760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think he adjusted better than me. He seemed to just figure it out naturally, and was much more confident than me, even though I had more baby experience! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-did-your-so-adjust-to-being-a-first-time-parent#post-2084745 Wed, 25 Feb 2015 11:55:39 +0000 Adira 2084745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He went through phases. When Xander was a newborn, DH was a rockstar and seemed more patient and understanding and caring than I ever was! Once I finally got the hang of things though, DH kind of took a step back and stopped being so hands-on and even seemed to actively avoid spending time with the baby. But as Xander got older and more interactive, DH came back around and got more and more into it and has fun playing with Xander and entertaining him and is back to being even more patient than I am! </p>