https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 02 May 2026 12:17:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310895 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 08:42:45 +0000 mrsjyw 310895@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: awww sweets. that would probably be the same response we'd get from my mil. "apology" with a whole followup of why we should go with her reasoning and that ultimately "her way" is right. UGH. feel your pain!!!!</p> <p>i'm glad he talked to her! and i hope it won't be a problem in the future. poor LO's tummy. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310848 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 08:17:53 +0000 T.H.O.U. 310848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow that is a crazy response. My MIL has a bit of this (thinking LO can eat anything). I just kinda turn into helicopter mom when I am around her. She can hold and play with LO when we visit but I am always within sight so I can monitor what is going on. </p> <p>Maybe think of some "exciting" foods you could bring and feed your LO around your MIL? I know my MIL was excited to get to feed her black beans for the first time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310837 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 08:11:53 +0000 travelgirl1 310837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Oh my gosh, you are so good to keep your calm through all this! Her response is terrible. It's none of her business whether you put her in daycare, these kind of decisions are hard enough, without all the granny guilt too!!! I hope she's at least learned her lesson! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310832 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 08:09:17 +0000 autumnlove 310832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I don't think she is aware or cares about listeria. We have told her about how I can't eat sushi during pregnancy and it makes her roll her eyes. She ate sashimi every day during her pregnancies! Pollution issues probably weren't that bad back then?</p> <p>@jholler25: Yeah, sometimes she can be really mean! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310421 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 19:02:47 +0000 Grace 310421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Ugh, her response was terrible. I like how your DH handled her though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310414 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:57:22 +0000 birdofafeather 310414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: with that kind of answer i would definitely not leave her alone with your LO. boo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310401 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:46:44 +0000 PrincessBaby 310401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I sounds like she still questions your parenting choices A LOT and she was just saying what she thought she needed to say, a weak apology, to smooth things over with your DH. I don't like how she kind of back-handed insults you?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310396 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:44:22 +0000 mrbee 310396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: oh and btw, I would never give cold cuts to a baby because I'd worry about listeria. I know some doctors are ok with it, but I don't see the risk being worth it.</p> <p>Is she even aware that listeria is an issue? Another reason she shouldn't be in charge of feedig your little one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310393 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:42:47 +0000 oliviaoblivia 310393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I'm so sorry that that's how she handled the conversation. She owed you and your LO a proper apology not a string of excuses and more accusations about the quality of your parenting. Ugh! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310392 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:41:27 +0000 mrbee 310392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Glad he talked to her!</p> <p>Boo on her answer though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310389 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:34:44 +0000 autumnlove 310389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH talked to her. He says she was apologetic and concerned and wanted to make sure I didnt just drop LO off at daycare and ignore her....serious? She says she won't disobey our parenting guidelines again but she said LO needs more food and the bland stuff we feed her isn't enough! She reminded him that he ate flavorful food starting at 6 months and never had diarrhea issues....we are sheltering her, etc.<br /> She also asked him if I was planning to go back to work after baby #2 because the thought of two of her grandchildren in daycare with strange women makes her sick. DH told her that we will make the best decision for our family and we don't need her input...we already know how she feels about daycare.<br /> I'm not really convinced by her apology. We don't want to prevent her from seeing LO so we will have to watch her closely because I don't want LO getting sick like this again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310326 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 17:31:06 +0000 keiki_mama 310326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hell no! Someone needs to put the smack down on Grandma. If DH doesn't step up to the plate, I don't see anything wrong with you having a word with her. Nothing harsh, just a simple request to stop feeding LO foods that may make the baby sick. I would be livid if my MIL pulled off shenanigans like this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310176 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:43:17 +0000 blackbird 310176@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>completely 100% unacceptable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310161 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:39:55 +0000 SugarplumsMom 310161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Oh man! I understand why your husband has a hard time talking to her about these things then :/ Mine is the same. Perhaps you can try bringing it up casually instead of being so serious (although it is serious, she might be more willing to actually listen this way). So instead of saying how she can't feed your LO this and that, start it by mentioning how worried you are about your LO's tummy and diaper rash. Tell her how he's been crying, has diarrhea and how the daycare thinks it's because of the lunch meats he was fed. Don't accuse her of giving it to him, just focus on how sick he was because of it. That way she doesn't feel attacked and instead will just realize how bad of an idea it was for her to do it. </p> <p>Then don't leave LO alone with MIL until she shows she can be a responsible adult. After this initial "talk" you can be more blunt if ever it happens again.</p> <p>There is a chance that she will react defensively regardless of much you avoid blaming her. Then it can get ugly. </p> <p>MILs like that remind me of Jr. High School all over again :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310075 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:06:53 +0000 PrincessBaby 310075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I can't believe she did this to you again! I was so pissed at her when she pulled the ice cream stunt! I'm so sorry this happened again! And your poor LO, her tummy must have hurt her so bad- all that super-processed crap:(</p> <p>Your daughter is not a dog. She doesn't eat scraps. I hope your DH resolves this with her! Our in laws always feed our chihuahua table scraps (he has an ongoing weight problem and we spend a fortune on Rx food for his "diet") and it drives me insane because our dog will get so fat when they are here and it's just...cruel. When they come in January, I am going to have DH tell them not to feed the dog AT ALL, and I'll lose my sh*t if they do. So I can't imagine how I'd feel if they did the same thing to my baby! I think your MIL does not realize how CRUEL it is of her to ignore your LO's diet and feed her like she's feeding a dog scraps from the table. It tears her little tummy to shreds. It's hateful to put her through that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310069 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 15:02:56 +0000 Modern Daisy 310069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitley talk to her, but if I were you I would be prepared for more eye-rolling and her getting defensive. I wouldn't make the argument about what is medically best for LO, I would center it around what YOU have decided is best for LO. </p> <p>Like "I know you have good intentions and you clearly did a great job raising DH, but as a parent I need to be able to make decisions about LO and have others respect my wishes". That way the argument isn't about what is best for LO it's about respecting your parental wishes. Then tell her how LO had problems with the ice cream and sausage and make a point to say "LO could have been just fine eating those things, every child is different, but the point is it was against my wishes and unfortunately I found out about it because of the violent reaction LO had afterwards" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310037 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:44:10 +0000 hilsy85 310037@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>She might not realize that LO is actually getting sick from eating these things...she might just think that you're being overly protective. That's why I think it's importan for someone either you or dh to say something--so she actually knows theres a reason that LO can't eat those things, you're not just a killjoy (not that you should have to justify yourself but it would make it easier for her to understand I think). So someone needs to talk to her for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310021 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:38:57 +0000 littlebug 310021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would ask Hubs to say something, and if he refused, then I would. I would also tell her that if it happens again, she won't be allowed to watch LO again. Yes, she is the grandmother and she can spoil him, but she should also make sure that he's safe and protected. Feeding him food that he clearly cannot digest is not keeping him safe! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo/page/2#post-310013 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:36:44 +0000 brownie 310013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a great relationship with my MIL do that definitely colors my perspective. Personally, I wouldn't let MIL have baby unsupervised until she can follow your rules. If she asks why you can tell her that she has been getting sick from food that isn't BM and you need to make sure that doesn't happen. You don't blame her for it just point out the problem and solution. I don't let my in laws watch my baby because they don't change his diaper and don't feed him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309994 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:31:59 +0000 autumnlove 309994@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks guys. I am going to talk to DH and tell him that I really want to talk to MIL about this. If he wants to talk to her instead, I am ok with that too.</p> <p>@Crumbs: DH's entire family has the same dynamic. His mom rules FIL and all of her sons! Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309972 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:21:48 +0000 Rescuemom10 309972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say something, I think Grandma needs to know its making her Grandbaby sick...if she knew that it may help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309958 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:17:06 +0000 Freckles 309958@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree, your DH should be the one to talk to your MIL. I would be livid if my MIL did that though, and i would hope that my DH would back me up on it. Diarrhea and stomach issues is not something to dismiss. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309925 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:07:35 +0000 Mrsbells 309925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Wow I would be really angry. If I were in your shoes I would tell my husband that I wont leave my baby alone with MIL since we basically cant trust her when it comes to feeding the child. I am all for being respectful to your MIL but she is crossing the line by feeding your child food that you dont want your child to have </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309896 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:57:11 +0000 MrsSPB 309896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Frankly, if I was you, I would say something to my MIL. I don't see why you need your husband to say something. This woman's refusal to respect your parenting has led to your child getting sick twice now. It's unacceptable. Your LO deserves to be protected from your MIL's selfish, careless behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309889 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:53:29 +0000 heffalump 309889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be pissed. My mom also has the "I'm the grandma so I should be able to spoil her" attitude" and she'll do things like give her ice cream at 7:30 at night and her bed time is 8. And then of course she's rolling around in her crib on a sugar high for an hour before she falls asleep. So I very nicely tell her that it's ok to give her ice cream and spoil her, but not a lot and not that late at night because it's not good for her, and I tell her what happens when she does. My mom is fine with that, she likes that she can still give her a little something and spoil her and she doesn't mind doing it on our terms knowing that she's doing what's best for our LO.</p> <p>Maybe if you (or like others say, your DH since it is his mother.....) just try talking to her about it, she will be reasonable? If not, I wouldn't leave my LO alone with her. And I would tell her that. It's just not worth it for her safety. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309849 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:38:35 +0000 Boogs 309849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would hope DH would say something to his mom since she is his parent. He doesn't have to say it in an aggressive way, but more as a heads up that she made LO really sick. Hopefully she would feel guilty enough not to do it again. I would also watch her like a hawk in the future, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309841 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:37:04 +0000 matador84 309841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like something my MIL would do...ugh. I wouldn't say anything...somethings are just better left unsaid. BUT, I would NOT leave LO alone with MIL w/o supervision, like pp. If she had a problem with it and wanted to know why, then...I would say something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309831 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:33:20 +0000 LivsMama 309831@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Im against the grain here too in that I would speak up and not wait for DH to say something. If I were in your situation, I would be blunt and say "I know you mean well, but you fed her against our will and it made her very sick" and explain what happened. And I would have a huge problem with her passive aggressive talking to you through the baby like that. my MIL did that once and I looked at her and said "dont do that." This is not a grandma being grandma situation. Grandma can be grandma and give her cookies before bed when shes older, or let her stay up as late as she wants one night when she babysits, also when she is older. THAT is when g-ma is g-ma. But now, while she is still on BM and her tummy clearly cannot handle the other foods, I would speak up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309830 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:32:45 +0000 Lozza 309830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm typically pretty relaxed about the "grandparents will be grandparents and they get special rules," but I'd be REALLY pissed if a grandparent on either side contravened a direct request. I know that my parents will let LO watch a little TV here and there, and I know they let him have a pacifier when he's grumpy as opposed to just in the car (which is what we do), but I expect that if I specifically say "no, he can't have that," they'll abide by those rules.<br /> ESPECIALLY under the circumstances you described- I don't worry about it when my parents babysit for a cranky LO and let him just eat bananas and bread for dinner, because a.) it doesn't really hurt him, and b.) I'm not there to deal with the fallout if LO is being difficult. It's not like your LO was screaming for salami, and even if your LO was, you were there at the event to deal with that fallout... your MIL giving her that food didn't make anyone's life easier, and it was not only disrespectful, it had negative consequences that you and your LO had to suffer and MIL didn't.<br /> If we couldn't trust our parents to use good judgment about respecting our preferences, and treating our rules as rules, we wouldn't leave LO alone with them, and we'd let them know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-i-stop-my-mil-from-feeding-my-lo#post-309807 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 13:23:42 +0000 Andrea 309807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't leave DD alone with my MIL if she did that! DD has a nut allergy and we have to read all labels before feeding her anything. I can trust my mom to do that but my MIL might forget, although I don't think she would do anything on purpose. She just doesn't think as much. </p>