https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 20:26:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-110020 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 09:14:08 +0000 daniellemybelle 110020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so interesting seeing all the different perspectives! While I am not a big fan of yelling, I guess I really don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as that is not your go-to parenting technique. My parents didn't yell a lot, but sometimes they did either to get one of us to stop right away (usually little ones) or to show us they really meant business. It never made me respect them any less or feel like I was not respected. It was a way of them asserting their authority and taking control of the situation. Again, this is not screaming the roof down, but more of a strongly raised voice.</p> <p>I think it also totally depends on the child. I was a negotiator and a whiner! My brother was much more docile so he never got yelled at. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109896 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 03:27:26 +0000 SugarplumsMom 109896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There was a lot of yelling in my family when I was growing up - I hated it! I still hate it (my Mom hasn't changed). One of the things I made sure to teach my students (right before they left for HS) was how to be heard without having to raise your voice. I intend to do the same with my kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109888 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 01:49:15 +0000 looch 109888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I raise my voice when my son is doing something dangerous, like pulling a lamp of a table or sticking his fingers in sockets. He's too young to understand reasoning at this point, but he knows when we say "fertig" sternly, he has to stop what he is doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109725 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:07:24 +0000 DigAPony 109725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither of us are yellers, and I think it's just pointless--would you actually listen to or respect someone who was yelling at you?</p> <p>I think when I have children, I'll have to be careful about not speaking to them in a snotty tone of voice when I'm angry with them--I'm bad about that, and I don't want to belittle them or pass that tone of voice on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109657 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:12:40 +0000 BoogieBea 109657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents were yellers so I grew up with it. I'm trying very hard not to do the same to my kids. I do raise my voice at times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109576 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:48:47 +0000 regberadaisy 109576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are not yellers and don't come from a family of yellers.</p> <p>However, sometimes my dog gets me so frustrated I've yelled at her! So I hope to be able to keep it in check with our kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109575 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:43:48 +0000 daniellemybelle 109575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting that many of you have made the distinction between "raising your voice" and yelling! When I said the word yell, I meant raising your voice essentially... perhaps an emphatic, loud "Stop it!" like @banana said. I don't think any of us would advocate for screaming at your kid like a banshee! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109572 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:32:33 +0000 Modern Daisy 109572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that I will be the yelling parent and DH will just melt and give into whatever our child wants, lol! Seriously though, I see myself losing my cool after no sleep and continued misbehaving and yelling every so often. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it has the effect you intended and you aren't teaching your kids to be yellers or to act out on purpose to get your attention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109563 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:28:10 +0000 mrsjyw 109563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is definitely not a yeller, I can be... just because my voice is loud and tends to carry! :) It's def something that I need to scale back. But, as far as yelling around/to LOs, that is a big NONO in our household. Neither of our parents yelled at or around us (esp when we were younger). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109383 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:37:29 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 109383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are against yelling in our relationship. I hope that we won't need to yell when we have a LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109371 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:32:55 +0000 sorrycharlie 109371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we haven't talked about this yet but will soon. we tend to get loud with each other because we're both generally loud people.</p> <p>my mom used to yell (because i did) but my dad was quiet, and that scared me more!! (not that he ever hurt me..but it was more the disappointment v. anger thing). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109354 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:28:54 +0000 banana 109354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After I just wrote the post, I realized I forgot to define what "yelling" is. For me, it's a very strong and loud tone of voice. Like "Stop it! Now! Put it back!!!!" in a loud, raised voice. I don't know if that constitutes as "yelling" but that's what I mean by it. Is that what yelling is for everyone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109348 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:26:39 +0000 yoursilverlining 109348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We both think when you get to the point of yelling, you’ve lost your control of the situation, which most kids (except babies/toddlers) will know. We don’t yell at each other, so we don’t plan to yell at the kids (although it probably will happen from time to time for sure). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109343 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:24:09 +0000 banana 109343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had a very similar conversation a few months ago. I complained to my DH that he yelled at my LO too much and he disagreed. But now I kind of see his side of the story. My DH is a yeller when he gets frustrated. But he's also very loving and gentle towards my LO when he's not frustrated so I think it balances out. The interesting thing that I've learned is that because my DH is so gentle towards my LO, when he does yells at him, LO totally listens. I think he sees my DH as the alpha male so he's intimidated of him. LO is much better behaved around my DH than around me cause I'm the softie. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109315 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:11:25 +0000 volksgirl64 109315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We yell when she doesn't listen. I'm sure there are better ways to get her attention but when you say her name and "No" 3x and she's not stopping, yelling is where we go. Sometimes I feel like it's all we do but I'm sure we just have good days &amp; bad days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109314 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:10:59 +0000 chopsuey 109314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I don't yell at each other when we fight. We do raise our voices though--well, I do anyway. HAHA.<br /> We don't plan on yelling at our kids. Will be firm and may raise our voices though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109311 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:09:47 +0000 Lozza 109311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I can get pissy with one another, but I honestly don't think we ever yell. It's just a foreign concept to us. Our parents really aren't yellers either. Apparently we'll just get bitchy with our kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109303 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:06:01 +0000 heffalump 109303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hate when people yell at me, so it's rare for me to yell at others. But I'm sure every parent yells, and I'll end up doing it sometimes too. My husband isn't much of a yeller either because he knows how I feel about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-amp-your-so-feel-about-yelling#post-109292 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 12:57:55 +0000 daniellemybelle 109292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH &amp; I were dreaming about when we have kids this weekend, and talking about what kind of parents we hope to be. We were telling each other things we thought the other would have to work on (mostly silly stuff like not cursing) and I told DH he would need to work on being patient and not getting angry. He said, "Well, if I need to get a little angry to get my point across, I will!" </p> <p>This didn't surprise me because DH comes from a background where if the kids don't mind the first time, the parents often yell to get the kids to behave. I don't think that it makes you a bad parent if you yell at your kids - my parents yelled at me on occasion and I honestly deserved it! But I hope that we will do our best to discipline without losing our tempers, or taking our emotions out on them. In the end, I think my more gentle personality will balance out DH's more disciplinarian style, and our kids will of course always know that they are loved, even if we are frustrated.</p> <p>How do you feel about yelling or getting a little angry with your kids? Do you &amp; your SO agree? </p>