https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 06:27:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-192890 Sun, 17 Jun 2012 10:39:03 +0000 MrsH 192890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Father's day makes me really miss my Dad :(. Not to take away from any other dads in my life but my Dad was the best and he is sorely missed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-192888 Sun, 17 Jun 2012 10:32:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 192888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think part of the problem stems from the fact that men (especially white men) have always been the arbiters of power in our society. So as we progress toward equality, maybe there is a component of marginalizing the previously powerful group. I just think about the commercials and sitcoms that make dads out to be buffoons. (think of Phil on modern family).</p> <p>Mr. Jacks has experienced prejudice pretty acutely as a stay at home dad with comments like, "dad's day out, huh?" or "where's your wife today?". It's as if there is an assumption that any guy who is by himself with kids has nefarious motives. I think that the feeling might be even stronger for the gay dads in our group of friends.</p> <p>So while I'm glad that women are headed towards more equality (we're not there yet!), I wish it didn't have to be at the expense of men. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-192840 Sun, 17 Jun 2012 08:34:05 +0000 looch 192840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't celebrate either with much fanfare, to be honest. We've decided not to exchange any gifts, all we do is spend the day together as a family. We do make a special breakfast and when our son is old enough, we'll do appropriate crafts for gifts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-192673 Sat, 16 Jun 2012 20:51:21 +0000 eeh 192673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've felt the same way about how men are treated for years now. I absolutely hate the way movies, cartoons, children's shows, books, etc. treat men. The dad is almost always the deadbeat moron who isn't capable of anything. Even listening to commercials drives me nuts because it's "oh dad's worthless, better call the plumber" type stuff. It sets a horrible example and doesn't teach children to respect men. </p> <p>I've never thought of it in relation to Father's Day though..we always celebrated just as much as Mother's Day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-192664 Sat, 16 Jun 2012 20:41:14 +0000 mrbee 192664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Yah on Saturday mornings, it is mostly dads on weekend duty at our playgrounds too.</p> <p>I am referring to more busy times at the playground, or to areas outside of the playground. Anyway it's great that your husband has such a positive sense. For whatever reason, at times I can be pretty sensitive to people's expressions and thoughts which can lead to painful moments like I described. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-190250 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 19:58:07 +0000 mrs. wagon 190250@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I talked to Wagon Sr. about it and asked him if he's ever gotten dirty looks or anything like that on the playground. His response was "I don't think I've ever looked at a mom's face while at the playground." He also mentioned that there are also always dads at the playground, and one Saturday morning it was actually ALL dads and no moms at all. When I asked if it might be possible that he could be getting suspicious or dirty looks and he's just not noticing, he said that the general feeling he gets when he's among moms is a general sense of respect, admiration, and appreciation. </p> <p>@Mr. Bee do you tend to be the only man on the playground? It kind of surprises me that moms are so suspicious of a guy at a playground... I would just assume that it's a dad. Then again, we live in very different areas... you live in the city, and maybe people are more suspicious/vigilant in metropolitan areas? We live in the suburbs, and Asians are rare here, so it's almost always evident that Wagon Sr. is Wagon Jr.'s dad. Our playgrounds are also probably not as busy as yours... there's usually only a few other families around. Maybe 8 other kids at the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189703 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 17:12:10 +0000 autumnlove 189703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH doesn't really care about Father's Day and I believe him because he is a son of a florist and Mother's Day is most important day of the year! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189682 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 16:31:53 +0000 MegWag 189682@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: Nothing in our parenting education classes irritated me more than the constant talking down/patronizing way they treated the men. It was a constant stream of "Oh, those men... what are they like? Aren't they silly and useless..." I was always said with a smile and you could tell "good-naturedly", but it really pissed me off. It's one thing to offer information that men might not have, but another to treat them like 2nd class parents. </p> <p>My husband has said a few times that he's not that bothered about Father's Day, but I still got him something from me and from our son (I got a gift from each of them on Mother's Day). He's not huge on holidays in general, but I'm working on converting him :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189672 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 16:18:30 +0000 daniellemybelle 189672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This was sad to read, but I think you are right, Mr. Bee. Great dads like you don't get enough credit. I think it's a shame that you get dirty looks just for being a man. I have never made any of those kind of negative assumptions myself, but I know that I can be kind of patronizing without realizing it. When I see a dad wearing a baby carrier, or with his child by himself, I always give him a huge smile and think to myself, "How great is he?" But that is pretty condescending when I think about it!</p> <p>I hope you can get excited about your Father's Day. I know your kids adore you and are excited to celebrate you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189648 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:59:07 +0000 MamaMoose 189648@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I agree with you that men get a bad rap these days as being clueless in general. Unfortunately I think when it comes to parenting in particular this has been the case for a long time. My mom always said she didn't like reading the Berenstain Bears books to us when we were little because they always made the dad look like an idiot.</p> <p>BUT... I still think you should enjoy father's day. Don't worry about whether or not society treats it as an afterthought. Think about the fact that YOUR wife and YOUR kids are celebrating the fact that they know YOU are a great husband and father! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189637 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:53:49 +0000 lilteacherbee 189637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some of your post really hit home with me. We both celebrate Father's Day with our dads and when we have a LO, I'm sure we'll both be excited for Mother's/Father's Day. </p> <p>The part that struck me though is that men are clueless, useless, etc. The reason is this- DH has been recommended to the Board of Ed to be hired as a permanent teacher. He has experience teaching 2nd grade, but the position will either be 2nd grade OR kindergarten, depending on how the other teachers in the school move around.</p> <p>He's really nervous about the possibility of teaching kindergarten. I'm excited for him because I teach young kids too. However, these days men are judged for working with kids. I've worked at 3 different large daycares/preschools (about 15-20 teachers each) and there have only been 2 male teachers. I guess people assume men can't be nurturing/caring and must be pedophiles if they work with little kids. Ugh, it drives me crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189612 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:38:58 +0000 Mrs. Pen 189612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: haha yeah that's true - good point. Just like in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.</p> <p>It has upset me how in recent years men can be bashed publicly, but women definitely can't. Especially when you watch talk shows, all those women do is bash and trash talk men and it's awful. But all the women in the audience laugh and nod their heads. It's not right.<br /> If it happened where a women was getting trash-talked by guys on a talk show, the nation would be in an uproar, it wouldn't be tolerated.<br /> It's almost like some type of reverse discrimination going on, gender roles are so blurred now too.</p> <p>DH hasn't seemed to notice/mind that fathers day is kind of like an after-thought to mothers day. But I couldn't definitely see how it can be viewed as such.</p> <p>In my family my dad wasn't into holidays, birthdays and gifts. So fathers day was disregarded anyhow, even though we always buy him something or make him dinner, so it was always "second" to mothers day just because of my dad's attitude about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189539 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:00:01 +0000 mrs. wagon 189539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's awful and depressing. I wonder if Wagon Sr. feels the same way. I will ask him today. </p> <p>I don't think, however, the attitude of "men are clueless" is a new one though... I know many an older generation of woman who preaches the whole "the man is the head, the woman is the neck" idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189537 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 14:59:53 +0000 Andrea 189537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I can see how you're not excited about Father's Day. People in Brooklyn sound mean! DH has never complained about these issues when out with DD. Maybe he is clueless -- just kidding!! </p> <p>I think that Father's Day does generally play second fiddle to Mother's Day. We grew up making a bigger deal out of Mother's Day. I don't agree with that though and have a gift ready and made plans for the DH this weekend since he does the same on Mother's Day for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189535 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 14:59:04 +0000 heffalump 189535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aww that makes me sad. I'm excited about father's day. DH is an awesome dad and I think he deserves to celebrate that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-andor-your-so-feel-about-fathers-day#post-189530 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 14:56:19 +0000 mrbee 189530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always been a fan of Mother's Day, but actually this year Mother's Day got me feeling down. I just got this sinking feeling that Father's Day is sort of a consolation prize given to dads a month after Mother's Day has come and gone. I guess I hadn't thought too much about it before. </p> <p>It's interesting, because I've felt strongly most of my life that women are undermined and not supported by society. But in recent years, I've started to feel the same way about men — or maybe just dads, I dunno. The vilification of men seems pretty bad these days. Maybe this is just my perception. But it's now fashionable to say terrible things about men and it's often considered OK. Men are clueless, they are idiots, they are useless... bleh. Men.</p> <p>I generally don't care so much about what people say though. What people do affects me much more. If I'm at a cafe by myself, I see how other moms instinctively protect their kids from the male stranger. (I am now always careful about smiling at a toddler without a mom's permission.) If I'm at the playground and Charlie wanders off, I see the looks that other moms give me sometimes when they wonder if I'm an unaccompanied adult. Unless I'm with Bee, I prefer to go to the same playground over and over... so that people know me and these things are less likely to happen.</p> <p>Once, I gave my son a big friendly kiss while I was carrying him and a woman shot me a dirty look. She would never have reacted that way to a mom kissing her child! It made me feel like I couldn't be affectionate with my kids in public.</p> <p>Anyway I just don't feel supported by society as a father. So it's hard for me to get excited about Father's Day. That's how I feel.</p> <p>How do you and/or your SO feel about Father's Day? </p>