https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 21:24:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977429 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 16:30:41 +0000 Chillybear 1977429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would give my left arm for teleportation to be a real thing..... my commute with daycare drops is over an hour each way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977284 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:18:39 +0000 Cherrybee 1977284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to commute 80 miles each way three days a week and WAH two days per week before we had LO (and during pregnancy). It was okay.... </p> <p>When I went back to work after my mat leave I took a new role at a nearer office 25 miles away - but I'm in the office every day. It takes about an hour to get there from home but my in-laws, who have E 3 days per week, live half an hour in the opposite direction so it takes me two hours most mornings to do drop off. Its..... hard. But you get used to it. If you can drop off nearer to home/work, it would be totally doable! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977215 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 14:55:49 +0000 bushelandapeck 1977215@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was able to flex my schedule to work two ten hour days so I leave my house at 6:15 and get home around 6-6:15pm. I work 7-5pm and the commute is 15 miles but takes at least an hour. We have a nanny because I wasn't able to find alternative childcare where I could drop DS off that early and I really only wanted to work two days/week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977166 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 14:32:32 +0000 mamabolt 1977166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a commute of an hour each way when LO was first born. After 9 months it was weighing on me so much, keeping me from having any free time, so I found a new job with a 20 min commute instead. So basically, I couldn't deal. Probably doesn't help but for me it improved my quality of life so much to not have the commute I'd never go back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977161 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 14:30:02 +0000 Anagram 1977161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: yeah, if you have them then it should be fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977085 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:51:46 +0000 BeachMama 1977085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we live outside LA, so we know traffic and commuting well. DH drives at least an hour to hour and a half everyday to/from work. He leaves early around 6:30am to avoid most traffic, works out at the gym at work, showers and gets dressed there. He usually doesn't get home til around 7pm. I do all daycare drop offs and pick ups, unless i have a meeting or something afterwards, then DH will leave a little early to get her. It can be difficult on me sometimes, because I come home and am trying to get dinner ready while dealing with DD. Sometimes if he's running late I end up doing her dinner and bedtime routine by myself. My parents also live close by so they can usually get her if we need them to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977041 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:28:26 +0000 mrs. wagon 1977041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: the 8-4 schedule has been wonderful for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977040 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:26:59 +0000 avivoca 1977040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: What I'm thinking is that I would have my parents pick her up if she is sick. My mom doesn't work and my parents live in the town we are considering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977019 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:17:54 +0000 Anagram 1977019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: So your LO would be in daycare in the city where you live, and you would be commuting without her?</p> <p>Commuting solo for an hour isn't so bad--I did it last year after my mat leave (my commute is 50 minutes, but can be longer than an hour if traffic is bad).</p> <p>But this year, I commute WITH LO and it's kind of a nightmare. I do it because daycares are cheaper near where I work (Like, $800/month cheaper) but it's been really tough and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone that doesn't have a really good reason for doing it. Plus, since I do drop off and pick up, that adds another 10 minutes each way. </p> <p>The one drawback to having your LO an hour away is that if she's sick, it takes you an hour to get to her. To me personally, that's preferable to picking your LO up sick and driving with a sick baby alone for an hour (been there, done that, it's awful). Would your husband pick her up when she's sick?</p> <p>The only other major drawback is the time it adds to your day. I would have a very manageable work day if I weren't in the car 2 hours a day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1977010 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 13:12:55 +0000 avivoca 1977010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I wish I could work remotely, but my boss is not open to the idea unless I'm sick. I work for a historical society, so we don't have any satellite offices.</p> <p>@mrs. wagon: I may try to get my hours shifted if this becomes something we actually do. My husband can work odd hours if needed, but I work 9-5 and work late 1x a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976967 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 12:51:23 +0000 autumnlove 1976967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I made calls and listened to the radio occasionally but I am a big fan of silence in the car when I'm driving alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976935 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 12:33:06 +0000 looch 1976935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I live about 50 miles from my long commute office...it takes me 1.5 hours door to door because of different methods of transportation to get here and back. We leave super early, like 6:30 am, but on the flip side, I leave by 4 most days. Is shifting your hours an option? Or working in a remote location, like a satellite office?</p> <p>I deal with it for a lot of reasons, I like the job, number 1 and they pay me a nice salary to do this commute. I also have a lot of experience and history with the firm, which is what made all of this possible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976929 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 12:30:11 +0000 mrs. wagon 1976929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We drive in together. Our usual schedule if we're not late is:</p> <p>Leave house 6:45am<br /> daycare dropoff 7 am<br /> Arrive at work 7:45am, drop husband off at train (he takes the subway 4 stops further into the city)<br /> park and arrive at my desk at 8am</p> <p>We were both able to shift our hours to 8-4 which helps us avoid the worst traffic and get home in time for dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976904 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 12:10:20 +0000 alohaorchid 1976904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My commute is about 1 hour in the morning and around 45-55 minutes after work. My only real ways of dealing with is having a car I love and love to drive, and listening to good music. I am also reminded when I get home how much I love living in the area we do and why that commute is necessary.</p> <p>I work a little earlier to avoid the crazy rush hour both going to work and home, but the rush hour in this city is now more like 6:30-9, and 3-6:30 so it's hard to totally avoid it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976874 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:56:32 +0000 808love 1976874@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a very short commute but I love listening to tons of free podcasts like Freakonomics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976873 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:55:55 +0000 MrsLilybugg 1976873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: when I was driving LO into the city for babysitting (my sister was watching her), the commute was over an hour. We had to wake up earlier than usual, but usually she stayed asleep in the car until she got to my sister's house. It wasn't so bad! Traffic was annoying but I got to listen to my Pandora. I guess if she was cranky and crying, dealing with Traffic with a crying LO was not fun. BUt that didn't happen all the time!<br /> now my commute is still about an hour total (walking to train, waiting for train, etc.), but MIL comes to the house to watch her. I jsut started listening to SERIAL and I swear I got to my Train Stop in record time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976867 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:52:01 +0000 Modern Daisy 1976867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I'm about to deal with this! We just moved to the burbs' of a new city and the only job I could find is in the actual city, about 30 minutes by train (45-1 hour total). I was trying so hard to get a job in the burbs but no luck. Very grateful to have a job though, don't get me wrong. Anyway I am really hoping my new boss is flexible about me working from home and having a staggered schedule/leaving early as needed. If he isn't then I will have to quit. DH and I both have demanding jobs so if I can't help out in emergencies, w hich there will definitely be, then something will have to give. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976866 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:51:40 +0000 avivoca 1976866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kentuckygirl: @jetsa: I'd love to talk to you ladies more about the commute with kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976857 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:48:32 +0000 kentuckygirl 1976857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hey, we could definitely speak more offline if you want to share email addresses since I have experience with this and the city where we both work. I live outside the city and during off peak times and when I don't have to do daycare drop-off, I have a 45 minute commute to work. With rush hour and daycare drop-off, this is my schedule.<br /> 4:30 am - Wake up, shower, nurse baby, finalize prep to leave (I need to get up earlier &amp;/or shorten the time it takes us to get out the door.)<br /> 6:30 am - leave home<br /> 7:15 am - arrive at daycare, do drop-off<br /> 7:45-8:00 am - arrive at work downtown depending on current traffic/construction hell<br /> 5:00 pm - leave work<br /> 5:35 pm - arrive at daycare for pick-up (occassionally cut it close to 6:00 with traffic/construction hell)<br /> 6:15 -6:30 pm or sometimes later - arrive home</p> <p>I love where we live! We have a big house and nearly 10 acres of land. But I am not going to lie, I didn't mind the commute pre-baby but now, there just aren't enough hours in the day to drive that far. We won't move for severeal reasons. But in a few years once LO wants to be in activites, etc. I may have to look for a job (with much less pay) closer to our house. </p> <p>One downside for us is that we don't have family in the town where we live. DH's family is close but they aren't likely to help us. My family is 1.5 hours away and are more likely to drive and help when LO is sick, etc. So if you have family in the town where you would live that is a bonus. </p> <p>Also, there is not a good daycare close to our house. With my work hours (used to work 8a-6p), I had to bring him to daycare closer to work or I would never make pick-up time. So something to consider is if you have help with drop-off/pick-up or can you make it back home by the time daycare closes. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976835 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:39:00 +0000 jetsa 1976835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well here's my background on it, I graduated in '08 we bought a house about 30 mins from my job and 2 months later they made me switch offices increasing my commute to 50 mins-1hour. I worked there until 2011 and then switched to a new firm an hour away (it was necessary for my sanity and we were looking to relocate to the area anyway) We relocated later in 2011 and my commute has been 20 mins since. We are an hour from my DH's entire family and 2 hours from mine. We are debating moving closer to DH's family but it would once again increase my commute to 50 mins, daycare would stay where it is now so I'd be commuting with both kids 50 mins each way and I'm hesitant. I was completely willing to take on 30-40 mins but 50 seems so much longer. It eats a large chunk of our family time each evening but I only work 4 days a week so I still have Fridays with my kids. Currently we get home about 5:30, dinner at 6:30, DS in bed by 7; we'd get home about 6 and only have an hour to cook and eat. I'm very hesitant, I know we'd all get used to it and my inlaws would provide so much help being that close but its a long drive everyday (they help a ton now but an hour each way is far for any weekday popups). I think I'd be less conflicted if we weren't talking about me commuting with the kids but I love our babysitter and I'm not switching them. We are also in the situation that we can't buy until we sell our home or the end of 2015.</p> <p>When I did the commute by myself, I used the time to do all my phone calls (mom, bff, sister, etc) so that when I got home, I didn't answer the phone so that part would be good and it also gave me time to cool down and get rid of all the work stress before walking through the door which I don't get now.</p> <p>Message me if you want to talk more, I'm obviously very conflicted about the whole thing as well.</p> <p>DH works from home and so he has no issues with moving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976829 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:37:08 +0000 jhd 1976829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i haven't dealt with it as a parent, but i've had a long commute to every job i've ever had. lots of audio books and catching up with friends/family on the phone while driving! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976805 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:20:59 +0000 Mommy Finger 1976805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We moved to the suburbs and I commuted by train to the city every day. So did DH. We had to stagger our schedules so that we could split up pick up/drop off. I ended up finding a job closer to home. While I did like the time I had on the train to read and relax, I hated that my commute was about 1 hour 20 minutes door to door. If DS got sick and I had to pick him up, I was reliant on the train schedule and sometimes it took me over 2 hours before I could get there. It's definitely doable if you have a flexible job. I was lucky that my work at the time would let me work from home one day a week but I couldn't really do more than that since I managed a large staff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976804 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:19:14 +0000 Sunshine1810 1976804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have children yet, but I commute close to an hour each way daily. Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much. In the morning it doesn't bother me at all. Much like @Mamaof2, I drink my coffee and either listen to music, books on my iPod, or pod casts (right now I love listening to "Serial") and look forward to that each day.</p> <p>We made the decision that we wanted to live in a town that was further away from where we both worked. I grew up in the town we are in now, my parents are still there, we loved the house, great school district, etc. I think because we love where we live so much, it makes the commute easier to reason with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976799 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:13:36 +0000 Mamaof2 1976799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I commuted for an hour for about 6 months - part of me hated it and the other part of me loved it. I enjoyed my coffee and listened to books on tape! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976797 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:12:09 +0000 MaryM 1976797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have kids yet, so my experience can't totally be compared.</p> <p>but we live about 25 miles from the city (an hour commute). DH and I both work in the city. </p> <p>I was able to work with my bosses to flex my schedule a bit, and by coming in later I can use HOV lanes when they open up and generally, there's less traffic (so it's about 40 minutes instead of an hour)</p> <p>I'm not really sure what will happen once we have kids though, unless DH finds a new job. He works odd hours so we're rarely home at the same time on week nights. </p> <p>I live there because when I bought my house (before I got married), I wanted enough room to grow. I could afford a house there for the price of a studio condo in the city. So I went into it knowing that my commute would be part of the "investment" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-a-long-commute#post-1976785 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:07:25 +0000 avivoca 1976785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're tentatively thinking about moving out of the city. It doesn't help that I found a house that would be perfect for us (if only we didn't have to sell ours first). However, one of the towns we are considering is about an hour away from our jobs. Daycare is cheaper, we can get a lot more house for our money, and the schools are pretty decent. Plus my parents live there so we'd have back-up care if needed.</p> <p>Currently, we leave the house at 8:00, drive to daycare and drop off, then my husband walks to work (he works in the same complex) and I drive to work. That makes for a 1-hour commute to and from work for me, possibly longer based on traffic, even though we don't live that far away. On paper, it doesn't seem like it would be much different other than added gas costs by moving to the suburbs, but I'd like to hear from other bees with longer commutes. How do you make it work? </p>