https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:07:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467680 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 18:22:39 +0000 Anagram 1467680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know...I guess I'm weird but I don't care. I'm just relieved she's doing these things somewhere. At home, my LO still hates sitting (she'll do it, but she doesn't seem happy). I was secretly worried she has low muscle tone or something, and then day care mentioned she puts herself in a sitting position all the time and I was so happy!</p> <p>I still haven't seen her do it, but I'm glad she's doing it. I'm not super sentimental over "firsts" though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467298 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 16:19:21 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 1467298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't dealt with this yet, but I know that when LO goes to daycare, it'll be tough. My mom will be watching her one day a week, and I'm pretty sure that she'll be on the lookout for anything new. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467254 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 16:09:51 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 1467254@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I was a nanny I was allowed to tell the dad what their LO did but never the mom. The dad always tried to set up situations so LO's mom could see it &amp; she thought she was the first one to see it. Her mom still has no idea that I was the first one to see her crawl...now with a child of my own, I understand completely!! Ignorance is bliss</p> <p>ETA: I SAH but I missed the first 3 times my LO rolled from back to belly because I was out of the room or had my back turned. It happens to us all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467216 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 15:59:18 +0000 jetsa 1467216@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sucks, I hate it but its part of being a WOHM I guess. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467117 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 15:35:15 +0000 yoursilverlining 1467117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: yes, exactly this. Unless you are with your kid every moment of every single day, and paying undivided attention to them every single moment, you're going to miss something. It doesn't make it any less sweet the first time YOU see it!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467104 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 15:28:44 +0000 Aimed 1467104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is starting daycare next week so I am preparing for this! At the moment he is so so close to taking his first steps and I am praying that he does it this week and not next week in daycare - because it's all about me don't ya know. :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1467055 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 15:15:55 +0000 PurplePeony 1467055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: yep. I have accepted that unless I'm with my LO 24/7, I will inevitably miss something whether she's at daycare, with DH, or alone in her crib. It goes both ways, though -- the first time she rolled from tummy to back, I was still on maternity leave and DH was at work so he missed it. I tried to get her to do it again in front of him before I told him about it, but no luck. So I kind of feel like I'm due to miss something myself now... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1466714 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:58:27 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1466714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@petunia354: One thing I try to remember is that I'm not going to remember the exact day that he took his first step for someone else. But I will remember the first time I saw it with my own eyes. I remember sneaking into his room while he was awake and trying to roll over. It was the first time I caught him doing it, and I'll remember that forever! Who knows when he actually did it for the first time for anyone else! Could have been before or after that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1466712 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:57:39 +0000 Fronkinzankinsbride 1466712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a nanny I usually tell them how hard the baby is working at something, how close they are getting etc and let them be on the look out for the momentous event. They will usually announce it to me shortly after that. Very rarely did I consider something their first with me because I didn't know for sure if they had done it before. Sometimes we would team up to encourage baby to do something and then we were both there to see it. That works well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1466694 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:54:47 +0000 mrs. wagon 1466694@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Doesn't count until Mommy sees it. Everyone else = LIARS and FRAUDS. ;) Seriously though, that's how I take it.. I don't really count it until it's consistently happening, and by then I've usually seen it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1466687 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:53:14 +0000 petunia354 1466687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: Thanks for this! That's definitely a perspective that I am working towards. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1466634 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:43:52 +0000 2PeasinaPod 1466634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There are definitely things that are tougher to handle than others, but I try to chalk it up to wonderful people caring for LO and helping him to meet those milestones. It's great when I get to witness them first hand...but you never know when you leave LO under your DH's care for a second to do something (as simple as making dinner) and they have a milestone when you're not paying attention. When I finally accepted that, I find that I'm getting so much better with LO's teachers telling me that he's eating great with a fork or eating his yogurt on his own. Makes me a proud mama :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1466616 Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:38:18 +0000 petunia354 1466616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Almost started this exact thread just now, glad I searched first!</p> <p>Just got an email from my mom that DS took his first step for her today. Cue the tears. Then I pulled up my boot straps and emailed her back telling her that it doesn't count until Mommy sees it herself!</p> <p>I love being a WOHM but this is probably the worst drawback. Hugs to all you other moms who are missing or may have missed an important milestone! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279723 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 12:01:34 +0000 Adira 1279723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daycare is pretty good about not discussing those things with me. They won't mention things he's doing until he's been doing them for a while and it's OBVIOUS. Like sure, maybe he crawled at daycare first, but it wasn't until he was really zipping around the room that they mentioned it to me, and he had been doing it at home, so I didn't feel like I missed anything! Same with rolling, sitting up, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279592 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:28:51 +0000 cmomma17 1279592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try not to think about it too much. I know I'm not with LO 24/7 so there will be things I will miss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279544 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:21:24 +0000 MamaMoose 1279544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Meh. I just don't consider it to be "real" until I see it. It's still exciting the first time I see her do something, even if someone else saw it first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279530 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:18:10 +0000 mrsjazz 1279530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the beginning it bothered me, but now if she does something first with the nanny, I don't mind. It's just part of the territory, I don't need to be there for every first, but when I see it it's my first time and I still relish in that moment. For instance, with walking, it's not like LO just got up and started walking one day, she was taking wobbly steps for a few days, it didn't matter if her first wobbly step was taken in front of the nanny or us, it just mattered that she was doing it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279516 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:15:53 +0000 littlek 1279516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: I think if it bothers you, you can talk to them and ask them not to tell you about milestones unless you mention it first. B's daycare is very good about not mentioning things until I say that he does it at home. And they will act excited and tell me they can't wait to see him do it. Eventhough, my guess is he's done it there before. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279514 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:14:36 +0000 mrsjyw 1279514@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got lucky to be around for most of them, but I've surprised myself at how well I've handled ones I've missed. My mom sends pics/msgs when things happen and it hasn't bothered, it just makes me excited for him to do it again when I get home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279509 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:13:33 +0000 Smurfette 1279509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Blue: Yes! R laughed full on belly laughs for her teachers last week. They got it on video (Secretly) and texted it to me. I loved seeing it but it hurts cause we don't get laughs like that. @septca: I agree with this! Day care points out little things that she does, faces she makes all the time that I hadn't even noticed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279489 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:10:04 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1279489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septca: make a good point. Sometimes, especially as a first-time mom, something doesn't even click in my mind as being an accomplishment because I'm thinking of things like crawling, taking steps, first words, etc. So, it can be nice to have other eyes and ears watching the baby dudes and cluing us into new developments. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279487 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:09:37 +0000 wonderstruck 1279487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Yeah, I think that's probably a good strategy!</p> <p>My LO isn't in daycare but was still a stinker about rolling over. I thought he could only roll from back to tummy since he would never do the other way for me and would just fuss/whine/cry until I helped him. Then I saw him do it in his crib on the video monitor a few times. So now I know he CAN do it, but he won't unless he has the proper motivation or mom isn't there to do it for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279482 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:07:55 +0000 Mrs. Blue 1279482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm with @Smurfette: I just kind of jokingly tell them that if the boys do something new and impressive not to tell me until I see it! I think they kind of do that anyway. They'll sort of slyly mention something like, "Oh, those boys are trying to let go and stand on their own," and I think it's to see if I say oh, yeah, they're doing x, x, and x at home, too. </p> <p>Honestly, there are just some things that hurt to miss, and there's not a lot to do about it. For instance, back before we ever heard them really laugh, their first daycare told us, "E was just cracking up today." I was sad to not get the first belly laughs, and so irritated that my kid apparently found everyone funnier than us! Hang in there, friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279466 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:03:35 +0000 septca 1279466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I figure it goes with the territory of being a working mom, so it doesn't bother me that much. I also rarely "miss" milestones because my nanny rarely mentions them unless I do first - she is very good about wanting me to be the one to experience "firsts." :happy: </p> <p>That said, sometimes others notice things that I am oblivious to because I spend so much time with DD and I really appreciate when they bring them to my attention. For example, over Thanksgiving, my mom was amazed by how many words/questions DD understands and reacted to (she's 10.5 mo). I was like, "Huh, she doesn't get that..." But then I started noticing that, yes, she does. Now I can see her understanding grow every day and it is so cool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279454 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 11:00:54 +0000 Smurfette 1279454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told day care that I don't want to know what she does first there. I tell them when I see something at home. Then they can say she is doing it at day care. </p> <p>It sucks though. I just try and not think about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279369 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 10:41:36 +0000 edelweiss 1279369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i must not be that attentive, because daycare has noticed most of his milestones first--his first tooth poking through, rolling, standing without leaning on anything, first steps, etc. i feel like it's not really "real" until i see it though, so i take it as a heads-up to keep an eye out! they usually mention it to me when they first see him do something though--i would be a bit sad if i didn't find out until later that he's been doing something new and exciting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-missing-milestones#post-1279353 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 10:37:27 +0000 Alivoo01 1279353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was chatting with DS's school director this morning, and she mentioned how he loves to roll around and move towards the action. At home, DS arches his back and rolls his top or bottom half, but never both simultaneously. He'll "roll" if he's sitting propped up, but I think he uses the momentum from sitting up to help him roll. So I inquired if he actually roll-rolls. She said, "oh yes!! He's been doing it for a little while now." *blink blink* say what?!? I'm so sad... Not only did I miss this milestone, he doesn't even do it for me at home... :( And here I thought he wasn't rolling over yet, and he's been doing it for heck who knows how long... Sigh. </p> <p>How do you handle missing milestones and/or when your LO doesn't perform it for you? </p>