https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 17 Jun 2026 04:56:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999541 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 09:16:48 +0000 Mae 1999541@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@spaniellove: Not always. She actually started out not really refusing an entire bottle so much as she got SUPER distracted when eating and we had to start managing her surroundings a lot more. Like before we already had to have her in a pretty distraction-free place and not talk or move around while she was eating, but more than one person could be in the room and we could hold her however and she would just eat. Then she started trying to flip around while we were feeding her and we had to start holding her with her back to our stomachs so she could flip, and no one else could be in the room and we had to lock the pets up so they wouldn't walk by because if she saw any of them she'd stop. And then she would pop on/off a lot and look around (before she'd just sit there and eat until she was done). But the good thing was that even if she got distracted she would usually go back to eating if we remedied the distraction, and at least eat some of her bottle. But on Christmas Eve she refused her 330 bottle entirely, but my mom had tried to feed her so we chalked it up to that (even though I tried after and she didn't want to eat for me either). Then Christmas day she refused her 330 bottle even though my husband was feeding her, but he said she heard me talking to my mom downstairs and that seemed to distract her, but then she wouldn't start eating again. Then day after Christmas she refused her 330 bottle but we'd just gotten home from traveling from my parents' house and she missed her 2nd nap bc she won't sleep in the car so we said okay... maybe she is really tired? So we decided to make yesterday as absolutely normal as possible to see if all the holiday weirdness was done she'd go back to 4 bottles. She took her 330 bottle from me okay (somewhat distracted but okay). But then she refused to eat at bedtime (well, took 2 oz with some effort)! So she went from 330pm yesterday until 7am today with almost no food. :( But she ate breakfast okay today so who knows. We are going to try reducing the size of her 1130 and 330 bottles and hope that then she'll maybe be hungry enough to eat all the bottles. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999531 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 09:07:56 +0000 spaniellove 1999531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: The one bottle every day, is it the same bottle/same time every day? Just out of curiosity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999526 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 09:04:11 +0000 Mae 1999526@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I really don't care what she eats as long as she eats :) But I'm so glad that you're through the woods on this one and your LO is doing so great!</p> <p>@Jass: oh man sleep anxiety :( Hopefully it subsides as your LO gets older and sleeps better .</p> <p>@ShootingStar: @Torchwood: That's actually a good idea. I am super type-a control freak and that would probably make me feel better. </p> <p>@Mrs Green Grass: Thanks. So glad your son is doing so well now! Her weight is fine actually. She has dropped through %s somewhat steadily but not fast enough that the doctors are concerned (75% at 1 month to 40% at 6 months). So it really isn't an urgent problem-- which should make me feel better. It really isn't even how things are NOW that is scary so much because she's eating enough right now. It's that she had a random sudden decline in her willingness to eat (no refusal to refusing 1 bottle every day). And if it stayed just like this it would be okay (if frustrating). The anxiety is waiting to see if total refusal is around the corner. Which is why my husband thinks I need to chill out because why worry about something that hasn't happened yet and may never happen (which makes perfect sense). But anxiety is not rational. But maybe the longer she goes on with the status quo, if she doesn't get worse, it will make me feel more comfortable looking at her day as a whole/week as a whole. </p> <p>@looch: oh man that is so scary, I'm sorry :( I do feel like my mommy instincts are somewhat broken. I just don't know if something is wrong v. me overreacting to normal baby stuff. I honestly sort of think its the latter, at least mostly? But I'm not sure. I will definitely keep an eye on it and push if need-be. Do they have any idea why your son started refusing? </p> <p>@meredithNYC: I'm not opposed to meds but I don't know that it is really necessary. I honestly think I could probably benefit from therapy a bit more than meds but I have neither the time nor money right now (I'm currently unemployed looking for another job so I'm sole caregiver + we are living on one income when we'd planned to live on two). Although if it continues at this level or gets worse after some period of time I may try to work it out anyways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999518 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 08:56:01 +0000 Mae 1999518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999507 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 08:43:52 +0000 meredithNYC 1999507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no experience with this particular kind of feeding issue, so no advice - just lots of sympathy. I do, however, have lots of experience with anxiety, lol. My question is, are you opposed to anti-anxiety meds? I am on a very, very low dose of Lexapro now (I'm pregnant so trying to keep things as safe as possible) and I find that it helps tremendously. I started it while in the throes of PPD/PPA and over 2 years later, I still find I need it to keep my sanity. I know meds are not for everyone - but it is one option. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999440 Sun, 28 Dec 2014 06:40:22 +0000 looch 1999440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I read this thread and thought it was important enough that I log into a proper laptop....</p> <p>The way I dealt and still deal with things going off the rails is NOT to think that my son will catch up, but to address the issue and thank my lucky stars that there are resources out there to help both kids and adults. My son was 18 months when he began with the food refusal, and everyone told me to chill out and that in a year, I'd be laughing at how ridiculous I was. Well, a year later, the situation got worse and now, at 4 years of age we're dealing with oral motor issues that have resulted in a speech delay (which is really apparent the more I am around other kids of his age) as well as flat out refusal of food that doesn't fit into his rigid requirements.</p> <p>I wish I had listened to my instincts at that time, that something wasn't right, because we could have started feeding therapy way back then, instead of at age 3 when a lot of habits are difficult to unwind.</p> <p>So, if you think something is not right, find someone who will listen to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999312 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 22:52:51 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1999312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been in the exact same situation minus MSPI. My daily moods were dictated by how much LO ate and whether or not he threw up that night. It's impossible not to worry about how much LO is eating, but some things that helped were 1) letting other people feed him some times, especially when I felt like I would push a little too hard/long etc. 2) babyconnect - I felt much better when I could see what he had typically eaten at this point in an average day or week. It helped me see that he almost always caught up by bedtime. 3) talk about it. I blogged or talked to my sister which helped.</p> <p>Also, I don't know how small she is, but she will catch up at some point. My LO has always been 1st percentile, but now that he's 2, he starting to look like most of the other two year olds and he's starting to fit into more age-appropriate clothing. I never thought it would happen and I do wish I had worried just a tad less then I did on a daily/hourly basis. </p> <p>So my best advice is to try to step away from the exact moment of the feeding and how it's going but think more about how the week is going. The older kids kids, the more phases there seems to be (of good/poor eating) and anything from teething to other developmental milestones will affect it.</p> <p>Good luck, I know it's a process and it's tough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999245 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:45:28 +0000 Torchwood 1999245@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With my anxiety over this pregnancy (because of my very bad history, so not the same situation but that same fear of a recurring problem), I'm seeing a counselor. She's got me starting journaling again. It's too soon to say if it's helpful, but it has been in the past. Also, in general I deal with fear/anxiety by planning. I just plan for every contingency, even the really bad ones, so at least I know how I'll handle it. (I'm basically the polar opposite of spontaneous so planning always helps me feel less stressed.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999232 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:37:33 +0000 ShootingStar 1999232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I deal with anxiety by finding things I can have control over. I am an insane planner because that's how I deal with anxiety. So in your case I might do something like ask for regular weight check-ins at the ped to make sure she stays on her curve. </p> <p>Also, I'm not sure if this helps, but I've found with my son that a lot of the problems we've dealt with that seem awful at the time, he ended up growing out of/getting better with time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999228 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:36:21 +0000 Jass 1999228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: I dont have any advice for you but all I can say is I do have anxiety. .though its not related to feeding..in my case its her sleep though she sleeps on her own both for night and day but somehow I have anxiety about it. I am wide awake in middle of night, losing temper with my husband and feeling as failure..I think part of it is being FTM and not knowing how challenging things can be.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999201 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:01:24 +0000 spaniellove 1999201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gonna wall you because I could write a novel. But long story short there is a road back from the anxiety. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999200 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 20:53:42 +0000 Anagram 1999200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Specifically relating to my LOs eating issues, it took a long time for the anxiety to ease but it has eased (and she is 17 months now). </p> <p>I still "allow" her to be very slow with eating-related milestones though, like she still has 1 bottle of milk a day (rather than a straw or sippy)because she just doesn't drink much hemp milk unless it's from a bottle and although she eats fine now, I still get so much weird satisfaction from seeing her drain an 8 oz bottle so quickly at night. I don't want to stop giving it!! Even though we really should.</p> <p>But I realized I was "over" my major anxieties related to her eating when she was sick the week before Christmas and really didn't eat for an entire week--she would drink liquids but not eat-- and I just didn't stress much. She didn't look skinny to me, so I knew it was typical sick-and-not-hungry behavior. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999194 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 20:48:15 +0000 Mae 1999194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladybee: ugh, that is scary :( I feel badly sometimes because I know so many of the mamas here are dealing with so much more/scarier stuff. Fiona's eating issues terrify me but I do know that it's never a life-and-death-today problem. So I guess that should make me feel better but I guess mostly it doesn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999193 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 20:43:52 +0000 ladybee 1999193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son had MSPI, RSV, bronchiolitis, and pneumonia in the first year. Getting diagnosed with the MSPI was a long horrible road. I am terrified of breathing issues with him. One thing that helps me is that my pediatrician is very accommodating and will see him just to reassure me. Often, my mommy gut has been right and we've caught something early. </p> <p>Honestly though, I was on meds and went off. I'm going back on because it's too much for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-not-entirely-unfounded-anxiety#post-1999181 Sat, 27 Dec 2014 20:33:09 +0000 Mae 1999181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So some may remember all the feeding issues I've had with my daughter, but for those who don't the extremely condensed version is we had trouble feeding her from the start then went through a period of time (about a month) where she refused to eat entirely and would only eat while sleeping. Doctors ignored me and I ended up having to switch to a new ped and finally found out our LO has reflux and MSPI. When we got her on nutramigen she started eating again somewhat willingly but it was still really hard to feed her. Things have been getting slowly better over the last several months and as of a few weeks ago things were great. </p> <p>Now she is having a harder time again and has started refusing some bottles. The thing is, I think that what she is doing now is probably within the realm of normal behavior for babies her age. Or at least within the realm of normal for generally fussy eaters. </p> <p>But I am having insane anxiety about it. Like, keeping me up at night, crying after trying to feed her anxiety. My husband thinks I need to chill out (not his exact words) because we really don't know that there is a problem yet or that any problems are resurfacing. Basically-- don't worry until we really have something to worry about. And I do think that the level of my anxiety is unwarranted for the situation (she is still eating within the normal range of formula daily). </p> <p>But it's also not entirely unwarranted either because she does have a history. And that period of time where we couldn't get her to eat was the scariest thing I've ever been through. And every time we have even a minor setback or she doesn't want to eat I immediately get pulled back to that time and just see it all falling apart again. </p> <p>But my anxiety is not helpful. We're closely monitoring her eating situation but being anxious about it is really not helping her or me. So I really DO need to just chill out. But beyond telling myself to chill the f out... I don't really know how to do that. I mostly sit there and list in my head all the ways her new fussiness/occasional refusal is different than last time to prove to myself that this is just normal baby behavior and not a reoccurrence. But that only gets me so far. </p> <p>For moms who have maybe been through something rough with your kid that you fear returning-- how do you keep it on the back burner? Or at least keep from driving yourself crazy over analyzing? </p>