https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 13:33:18 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2819036 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 18:54:55 +0000 crazydoglady 2819036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: Whaaa?? Since when is a newborn easy?! Precious? Sure. Easy? Nah. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2819000 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 14:33:31 +0000 gingerbebe 2819000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: OMG I was so mad about this I read your post to my husband. He rolled his eyes and responded "even if everything he said was true and this lady was a terrible, lazy mother who didn't do anything for her children or around the house, his comments would STILL be stupid because they aren't helpful in any way whatsoever." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2818982 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 13:43:12 +0000 Mommy Finger 2818982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: That's a good question. I think the deciding factor really was that I didn't have it as good as you do now. Prior to having my first, I was working until at least 10 pm every night and didn't see an end in sight. After I came back from leave, I was able to dictate my hours more but that didn't mean the work was getting done. And then when we moved to the burbs, they let me work from home 1 day. But it wasn't enough. I was barely seeing my baby and I just couldn't do it anymore. Unfortunately, that led to me going to the first company in the burbs that gave me an offer. BIG mistake. Horrible company. I'm somewhere else now that is more flexible but that's b/c my boss is awesome. I fear that my perceived time in the office (or lack there of) might hurt me in getting a promotion even though I work my ass off and get my job done. My boss tells me all the time that I'm really good at my job but I don't see anything coming from that. Not sure what industry you're in but I'm in corporate accounting and have a large time to also think of. I need to spend a lot of time managing them as well. So there's no work from home jobs. What I'm trying to gauge now is how to make strategic moves that can help advance my career without hurting my time with my family. I'm not content to just sit and wait until they head off to college. That's 15 years away!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2818972 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 13:12:31 +0000 nwm 2818972@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i struggle with this on the daily, for sure. it always seems someone else is working more hours and spending more time with their kid and i just suck. the other thing i find myself questioning is how other people handle adult responsibilities outside of childcare and work. between getting my child taken care of and my job done, i honestly find things like filing my taxes completely overwhelming and find myself wondering how other people seem to manage all this other stuff on time and without making constant mistakes.</p> <p>@looch: wow, that staircase metaphor is SO helpful! i have been really pushing at work to get a big promotion that i just received, and now am going out on mat leave 6 months later and pushing as hard as i can just to hit very mediocre billable hours targets and i've been feeling just a bit down about it. but i love the idea of thinking that maybe now i've achieved this milestone, which i can maybe not feel guilty about just maintaining/coasting on for a little while before finding breathing room to accelerate again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2818950 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 12:50:28 +0000 babybunnylove 2818950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear all the time “this too shall pass”... but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Trying to just manage my own expectations to the expectations of my husband let alone anyone else. I feel like I constantly fail at levels. Glad to see here that it’s not just me. Makes me feel a tiny bit better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2818943 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 12:25:59 +0000 periwinklebee 2818943@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I've been drinking from a firehose of small problems since my son was born, and I'm tired (the latest small problem led him to wake up like, I lost count how many times last night).. Ugh, please people, just don't tell me to "enjoy it while it's easy" :meh: Even if true, so not helpful... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2818896 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 09:59:57 +0000 shabang 2818896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also have over an hour commute each way, and the kids are with me bc daycare is close to work.</p> <p>Brush off what you can. Try to fire on all cylinders tomorrow. That's what I tell myself. </p> <p>I think succeeding in one area of life right now is a great success! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures/page/2#post-2818847 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 08:43:57 +0000 avivoca 2818847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like I do everything terribly. I just moved and have a 1.5 hour daily commute, we're moving into my husband's travel season so I'll be doing it all solo, and I just can't keep up. I'm not a nice mommy in the summer and I hate it. My childless coworkers don't understand. I wish I could find a job closer to home but the cost of living is much lower out here so my pay would be much lower. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818838 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 08:35:11 +0000 looch 2818838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I once attended a meeting about career trajectories and the gentleman that was speaking was a C level exec. He basically said that we think of our careers as a straight line, that goes from point a to point b and continually increases, but in reality, if you look at it historically, it's more like a set of stairs, with promotions and plateaus. Once I framed it like this in my mind, it was easier for me to accept that for some periods of time, whatever it was I could offer would have to be enough.</p> <p>I try not to get too upset about daily failures. They happen to everyone, parents and non parents alike. I simply look at it over a period of a month...did I do what I needed to do? Did I let my line manager know that I would have challenges on these days? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818836 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 08:30:22 +0000 MrsSCB 2818836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: YES, better work-life balance would go far. My work "technically" allows for flexibility, and a ton of people in my office work from home one day a week. I would LOVE that, but my own direct boss is older and more traditional and has been disparaging of that in the past. So I haven't asked. I haven't been here for a year yet, though, so I still might eventually. Even the guy I manage works from home every Friday! Because I'm normal and it doesn't bother me as long as he gets his work done :meh: And yeah, my sister is here and is great with him. But she has her own busy social life, and I don't like to ask her to babysit much. Also, totally feel you on the friends with secret money stashes or whatever. I think most people we know who have purchased homes around here had a lot of help with the down payment.... Yay for moving this weekend, I hope it goes smoothly!! We're renting the house back to the sellers for about 60 days, so we'll be moving the first week of august. I can't WAIT. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818821 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 07:59:40 +0000 Ajsmommy 2818821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: my current job does not have a work from home option. :crying: I wish!!! I honestly think it'd solve all my issues!! I wouldn't be late and I truly think I'd have better output...but alas it's not an option for now </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818804 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 07:19:27 +0000 hellobeeboston 2818804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: I'm in a really similar boat. I commute an hour + each way to my office. I'm often later than my boss wants me to be, but it is what it is.... I've talked to her about just accepting the fact that I need to be in on the later side and she's mostly OK with it. That way I don't feel as rushed, and its just known that I get into my office a little later than most. I also am willing to stay late if need be, and I check in on my phone and will work in the evening if I must, and she knows that.... So asking to just be in later has helped. </p> <p>My house suffers mainly for us. I try to keep up, and I feel like we've outsourced so many things which helps, but how am I still totally unable to fold laundry. haha. Not sure if its an option for you, but I try to work from home 1 day a week (ends up being only every other) but its a big help for me to get some stuff done that I can't normally do. And cutting out the 2 hour drive one day is amazing. I know not everyone can do it, but if you can, it helps!</p> <p>I also want to find a job closer to home at some point, BUT, I also would be giving up a much higher salary and some really nice benefits :( The upside is I'd be saving the $550/month or so that it costs me to commute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818795 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 06:56:29 +0000 Ajsmommy 2818795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: hahhaah, bedtime is early in our household. DS goes to bed at 6-630, DD 730.. I tend to fall asleep in her bed with her for 30 mins to an hour and then I wake up and go to bed around 9 pm. I'm exhausted!! Having 2 kids is really taking it out of me. I was pretty ok when we just had DD but since DS I am just always tired.. could be bc I'm 5 yrs older too.<br /> @Iced Tea: my DH pulled similar bullsh!t while I was on maternity leave with DS... he would respond to me asking for help by stating there are single mom's out there who do it all so basically why can't I!? ugh it would infuriate me. thank goodness he's stopped doing it but he does still occasionally downplay all that I do do... and he'll be upset that I didn't unload the dishwasher so he can reload it BUT sorry I was busy feeding/bathing/putting to bed YOUR KIDS plus making lunches for the next day etc etc... communicate communicate communicate is the only way to get through it. I try to be calm and reasonable and to talk it through. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818780 Fri, 27 Apr 2018 01:08:23 +0000 hummusgirl 2818780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: Ditto what @Jennibenni said! Also, it doesn't matter if other people are doing it. You're not them and you have your own limitations and that's nothing to be ashamed of. I have friends with 4 kids who are loving and patient and have a clean house and seem to be doing great. Good for them but we're barely holding it together with 2 kids - we have to just be real about what we can/can't handle, no matter what others are able to do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818777 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 23:08:34 +0000 Corduroy 2818777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I have a coworker that repeats that phrase to me weekly. That’s not helpful when I’m explaining why I can’t stay late for a meeting. </p> <p>@Ajsmommy: I manage the daily failures by reminding myself that I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do. Sometimes my best is great and sometimes it’s trying to not get too behind in emails while I sit on the couch with DS on his third sick day of the week. But I take some comfort in knowing I cannot expect any more than my best out of myself. If my boss has a problem with it they can fire me. I’ve had several supervisors since having LO1 and none have said a word to me about performance. I think I grew a lot as an employee when I became a mom and while I can’t dedicate as much ass in seat time I can still get my projects done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818771 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 21:50:29 +0000 Jennibenni 2818771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: Oh, hell no! I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. I would be super pissed. Please don’t believe him. If he sees other people doing it then it’s because he’s not seeing that they DO have family help, or childcare, or housekeeping, or whatever but the point is it’s not possible to do it all! And hats off to you because I don’t think I could survive 13 days on my own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818763 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 21:20:40 +0000 Iced Tea 2818763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel you. It’s a literal impossibility to accomplish everything I need to do. </p> <p>My husband has travelled a lot overseas for work the last two years, and he recently chose to take an optional 13 day trip after I told him that I couldn’t handle him leaving so soon after the previous trip (just about two weeks in between). I needed time to recover. We have no family help and have been unable to get daycare for the baby. Meanwhile I’m trying to keep my business afloat part-time. I barely sleep. I am maxed out on caffeine consumption. After he got back, I told him I felt betrayed that he disregarded my input and my needs and went on that trip. But somehow he ended up saying, “I know it’s hard with young kids, but I think you aren’t trying hard enough. I look around and I see other people doing it. You aren’t trying hard enough.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818760 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 20:38:31 +0000 periwinklebee 2818760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: "when did 9-5 become 9-6 with no lunch break and being constantly leashed by email/text?"</p> <p>So true... Add to it real estate being completely unaffordable near where jobs are unless you want to cram into a one or maybe two bedroom apt, so there's the commute, and lack of family support... and there's just never a break... </p> <p>what I hate too is when people say it's just going to get worse, I had a colleague today say "little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems, enjoy it while it's easy" :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818759 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 20:21:19 +0000 snowjewelz 2818759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Ugh I feel you! I hate waking kids up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818758 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 20:20:59 +0000 snowjewelz 2818758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mommy Finger: same with me! I work 20 min away from home at a stable but kind of dead end job. But I refuse to sacrifice time with my kids to go work in the city and probably make almost double what I make now.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818745 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 19:05:38 +0000 LCTBQE 2818745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: uhhhh if I were you I'd be constantly staring them in the face and telling them how easy they had it. not nice of them to denigrate SAHMs, they give up a LOT. </p> <p>@Ajsmommy: yeah, it's a very good point that we're not working for free here. I grew up on-and-off middle/lower class and my husband grew up poor--we're both conservative spenders but neither of us want to go back to financial discomfort that would come if I quit and we lost half our HHI. it feels like a wonderful privilege to me to not have to be worried about money all the time, even if earning it does wear us out. truth be told I worked hard to get where I am and it feels awful to give it all up. same as you, cutting back is really not a good option, it would be a huge financial sacrifice that would make me start wondering why I'm even paying 50k/year in daycare. unlike you guys, though, most of our friends are in a similar financial bracket (or better) except for a ton of them have a back-pocket secret-rich mom, or the wife has a cute non-career selling something on etsy and the husband does super well, etc. also I can't fucking believe how early you leave the house!-- sheesh! what time do you go to bed??</p> <p>@MrsSCB: yes, same, I couldn't do full SAH, I don't think I have it in me--plus (I think like you) I really love my job and we worked our tails off to get here. I just wish there was more balance. when did 9-5 become 9-6 with no lunch break and being constantly leashed by email/text? also didn't realize you guys aren't able to milk the grandparent care, sorry to hear that :meh: it is awesome for your boo to be able to spend time but that's a shame. my dad is basically immobile and my mom we unfortunately can't trust for anything substantial. I do get really peeved when it seems like everyone is able to stick their kid with their parents and take a long weekend as a couple because it's their anniversary or whatever. bah! PS when do you move in?? we're moving this weekend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818736 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 18:05:34 +0000 Ajsmommy 2818736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: honestly for me to be on time we'd have to completely change our "schedules". Right now Im supposed to work 7-330. Ds wakes up at 5-530... I snuggle him and then get ready but have to wake up dd at 6 am. Dd's preschool opens at 630 and is on my way to work so I should be dropping her off right at 630 BUT we are never out of the house on time. We should leave at 615. But I can't bring myself to get up any earlier and I can't bring myself to wake dd up any earlier either. So I guess it just books down to me not caring "enough" to change.</p> <p>Once I get dd up I snuggle her for a few mins then I get ds changed and dressed, then I get dd to potty, brush teeth and get her dressed then I get dressed then we all.go downstairs. I grab dd's lunch that I packed the night before and she gets her shoes and jacket on. I put together her breakfast and then brush her hair and then we are out the door. I put velcro rollers in my hair and we're usually leaving the driveway between. 630-640...get to her school 640-650... Then I get to work 720-8 am depending on traffic </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818733 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 17:55:51 +0000 Ajsmommy 2818733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mommy Finger: i kinda feel like you and I are parallel-y opposite! Ha. I'm doing the commute and getting the pay but wish I wasn't. I only work 40 hrs but my commute is 1 hr each way. I *could probably get a job closer to home or maybe even telework but I'd be giving up $40k in salary... 27 days off a year and my seniority (whatever that's worth).... It's too hard to walk away from although I think about doing it daily. What was the deciding factor for you? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818718 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 16:47:43 +0000 Mommy Finger 2818718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm having a really hard time with the need to coast and mommy track myself for a little bit. My boys are almost 3 and 5.5. My current commute is between 20-30 minutes and that's the most I can handle. What that does is reduce the amount of companies in my area that I could work at. I live outside of Chicago and could take the train into the city and have an amazing job but I can't afford the time to do that b/c DH works in the city. We can't both do it. We tried that for 4 months when we moved to the suburbs and it did. not. work. I sacrificed (even though I'm the breadwinner) b/c it's easier for me to get a job in the suburbs. He would switch with me in a heart beat. The thing is, even if he did work closer and I was able to spend more time at work and more time on my commute, I wouldn't want to. I want to be the one with my kids (along with DH, obviously). I don't want to miss out. So I stay at a company that doesn't really have a lot of places for me to go yet b/c my boss is amazing and is super flexible. But the pay isn't amazing. I have recruiters calling and emailing me every day. I could be making $40k more than I am right now but my kids are worth more than that. And even though I know that I'm making the right move for my family right now, I'm still mourning my career. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818707 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 15:35:07 +0000 gingerbebe 2818707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to just constantly look at my life in a state of triage and accept I can't do everything at once. I just can't. Once I've accepted that I cannot do everything, it puts me in a more peaceful position from which to make the decisions I make and OWN them. If someone calls me out on something, I just say "yep" and move on. That can be my boss, my husband, my kids, whoever. I will say "you're absolutely right, I did (or did not) do that." If its something I can fix or improve, I'll say so, but often times, I don't have an excuse or an apology, its just a matter of "yep."</p> <p>After an extremely stressful summer last year, I realized I just had to like put a stake in the ground and just prioritize SOMETHING and then let everything flow from that. And in the end, I chose self-care. I just realized I wasn't being a good wife/mother/friend/employee when I was frazzled and mentally unsound. So I've prioritized eating well, trying to get exercise in a few times a week, and sleep. This means I often eat the same meal for days at a time and skip going out to lunch with colleagues because I know its healthy and balanced. Or that stuff doesn't get done around the house because I need to go to bed. Or that I have to take a break from my kids and throw them in front of the TV even when I only see them a few hours in the evening because I'm too irritated to parent kindly. And I've stopped apologizing or feeling bad about it because I need it to perform my job(s) well - just like a first responder or a doctor. </p> <p>At work, I don't shy away from the fact that I have needy young kids who are always sick. I worked hard as a childless employee and covered for sick day parents all the time. My colleagues can do the same for me now that I'm in that situation. However, I also go out of my way to have everything buttoned up when I leave the office every night. If I have to leave something undone, I have extensive notes on everything in case someone has to pick up a job of mine unexpectedly the next day because my child is out sick. Or I'll come in early or after the kids are in bed and finish a task. If I feel like my kids are starting to come down with something, I give my boss a heads up that I might be out the next day. And I just generally try to be a kind colleague and bring in baked goods or snacks every now and then just because. Kind gestures go a long way.</p> <p>With my kids, there are times I don't see them in the morning before work or they are in bed before I get home. That might be because of work or that might be because I needed to go blow off the stress of the day and run. But either way, I make every effort to know they are loved somehow even if that happens. If I leave early in the morning before they go to school, I have breakfast sitting in their carseats and lunches with a favorite snack inside so they can know that someone cared for them. Or I will call or FaceTime the kids at night to talk to them before they go to bed. </p> <p>DH and I actually talk most frequently on the phone while I'm commuting home from work or even when I'm driving back from a grocery shopping expedition. Since I'm already in the car, might as well be productive. Its easier to talk productively then too since I can't do anything else or play with my phone. And it helps me not feel pressured to talk to him or spend time with once I get home since I just really need to go to bed instead of staying up late hanging out. We do make a point to go out to lunch once a week and about once a month our friends babysit so we can go on a date.</p> <p>I am the first to admit that my life is boring and that this phase is a grind. I don't go out with friends, I don't have time to read books, I don't watch TV, I don't go to events or work conferences. But if I'm healthy and sound, my family knows I'm doing my best to love on them, my kids are healthy and sound, and I'm doing my personal best at work with the capacity I have at the given moment, that's all I can really do. I accept that I just cannot do it all and accept your disappointment if you're lower on my totem pole than you wish. Shrug. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818705 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 15:33:19 +0000 MrsSCB 2818705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I hear you. On the long commute and having a lot of family help. Even living with my parents, I don't leave Finn with them while he's awake because he's just too much energy for them. My dad has arthritis, my mom is in her 70s and I just feel bad asking them to do much babysitting. So I love that they spend a lot of time with him, but it's not exactly a break for me....And I sometimes get jealous of SAHM, but then I don't actually want to BE one. So it's complicated, ha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818693 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 14:50:31 +0000 Mrs. Train 2818693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did I provide food? - check<br /> if they ate it is up to them</p> <p>Did they have clothes? - check<br /> They may look like a jumbled mess but they are my little messes.</p> <p>Did I give them a safe a comfortable place to sleep? - check<br /> they may have thrown a fit about bed time and laid screaming on the floor until they feel asleep but the bed was provided. </p> <p>Did I come to work and teach my classes? - check<br /> I may do the bare minimum some days and not all lessons are stellar but I am present and attentive to my students.</p> <p>As long as I meet those criteria it's a win. Everything else is a bonus! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818673 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 14:04:48 +0000 snowjewelz 2818673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: What's making you late? For me, my work day technically starts at 8:30, but my kids are either just leaving at 8:30 or my mom comes at 8:30 and on Monday's even worse, I have to wait for DH to drop off first so he doesn't even come back till like 8:45. We keep saying when DD2 is older and DH can manage both of them alone in the mornings then I get jet off earlier. </p> <p>I more or less have mutual understanding with my boss... He knows I am on email before I leave the house and also at night, on top of not really taking a lunch break. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818669 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 13:58:12 +0000 Ajsmommy 2818669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I think I'd feel better if my boss knew I was chronically late but he doesn't. The kicker is that I do call in about 1-2 days a week and blame traffic or the weather.. I leave him a mesg bc he's not in yet and say its me and im stuck in traffic bc of xyz.... but then on the other days I dont' call I just slink into my desk and hope nobody pays much mind!!!<br /> @pachamama: I agree.. my kids will stay front burner for a longgggg time<br /> @periwinklebee: I agree our society isn't set up for working moms. I do think that alternative work schedules are helpful though, it's just a bummer my company doesn't offer them!@skinnycow: I feel ya!! thank goodness we have cleaners come once a month or my house would be disaster! it is most days bc of the kids<br /> @kiddosc: I try to focus on the things I do well and that I am proud of and my review is coming up with my boss in june so I might have to really think about how I word things and what my answers will be when he asks where I want to go etc...<br /> @codeitall: LOVE your bare minimum list!!!! my co worker friend and I were literally saying the other day we had successful nights bc both kids were fed and in bed!! ha<br /> @LCTBQE: ugh yes the jealousy!! MOST of our friends do not work like DH and I do. We both work corporate jobs and we are lucky in that we have been with them and are stable. And honestly it provides us a lifestyle that we are very very lucky to have... however I do get jealous when I see our friend moms meeting up for a play date DURING the day on a week day... or the mom who works 6-10 pm m,w,f only.... like how is that possible??? Well, I know how.. if I really look at things I can see so many differences. It's kind of just odd that DH and I are in a completely different income bracket than our closest friends.. and it makes for lots of differences. For example at the last bday party we were at my friend was lamenting about how expensive full time daycare is.. can you even believe it?? they had looked into it for their preschooler but couldn't afford it.. well HELLOOOOOO we have TWO kids in full time daycare so YEAH I know how much it is!! Or at the same party they were talking about their vacation to the beach... (local beach) which is completely different from our week long vacation at a Disney resort..... so I guess although I do get jealous I have to admit the WOH aspect allows us a lot too.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-deal-with-the-daily-failures#post-2818656 Thu, 26 Apr 2018 13:30:54 +0000 Mama Bird 2818656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: ah, yes, jealousy! I'm jealous of what my parents had and don't even appreciate. They talk so much garbage about SAHMs, and they raised their family abroad with the luxury of grandmacare, year-long maternity leave, and month-long vacations for all. I can't believe these fools can look down on anyone who voluntarily cuts their income to give their child more time with family, when they had the same thing handed to them on a platter. </p>