https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 12:27:03 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2117206 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 21:12:12 +0000 Katrocap 2117206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no problem with it. In fact I just donated $25 to one of my colleague's gofundme site for her adoption. I don't understand why people are bothered by it. If you object to someone crowdfunding their personal choices, don't support them. Adoption fees are insanely high and I was glad to help my colleague. However, like @mrsjacks: I hope that adoption agencies don't use crowdfunding to rationalize high expenses for adopting parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2117087 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 17:37:25 +0000 Finfan 2117087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only couple I know who was crowd-funded an adoption asked for $40,000 two years after getting married in a wedding that probably cost $100,000 and was featured in magazines, etc. so no, I did not contribute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116935 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 13:25:06 +0000 lamariniere 2116935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not against it. I would likely donate to someone I knew personally who wanted to adopt. I've definitely contributed to "less worthy" causes on kickstarter like someone making and album or raising funds to make a film. In both cases I knew the person and believed in them and what they were trying to accomplish. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116888 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 12:05:56 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2116888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@msplatypus: I agree. Our safety net has eroded to the point where women who would otherwise consider keeping the child place them simply so they can ensure that there child has access to a solid education, which shouldn't have to be a consideration in how you best provide for your child. </p> <p>If a mother wants to raise her child, there should be enough of a safety net to allow her to do that in a way that ensures adequate housing, food and education. Nothing fancy... Just the basics.</p> <p>I bet that would make a lot fewer birth moms feeling coerced into placing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116870 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 11:46:59 +0000 Maysprout 2116870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Crowdfunding makes me uncomfortable bc I know I'm judging whatever activity and they're judging who contributes. Like someone crowd funding their vacation I think Ahole, or a lot of those MLM marketing feel like crowd funding to me. </p> <p>But I understand it with adoption. It can be a big upfront cost. I had insurance to pay my birth costs and friends who haven't crowdfunded their adoption I know have received money from their parents. So I'm not going to judge someone asking their community for help if their parents aren't as wealthy as someone elses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116815 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 10:21:08 +0000 mrsrugbee 2116815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like crowd-sourcing family-planning is a serious over-share. You'd never ask your friends and family to pay for your birth control on Facebook. I really think if someone needs this much help it should be asked for in a less public way </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116814 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 10:21:01 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2116814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no problem with it and would support it if it were a family/friend or even a stranger if I felt called to. I have a heart for adoption but the costs are overwhelming so if I could help in someway I would. There are personal and selfish reasons I see people crowdfunding for all the time that I would never donate to though.</p> <p>I don't feel the same way about fertility treatments though. Having paid 100% of IVF out of pocket I would never dream of crowdfunding for that. It was a personal choice for my husband and I do to it. I feel differently about adoption because there is already a child needing a home out there so you aren't just helping the parents you are helping a child get a family as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116806 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 09:58:18 +0000 msplatypus 2116806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think crowd funding for adoption is better then crowd funding to get movies or tv shows made. Realistically the problem isn't with crowd funding but with how prohibited and inaccessible adoption is for most people. Money as a barrier to adoption says a lot about who we as a society deem fit to be parents. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2116789 Sat, 21 Mar 2015 09:16:33 +0000 Mrs. Polish 2116789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I agree with you. Adoption as a religious mission makes my skin crawl. </p> <p>I'm also against crowd funding. I would never donate to pay for the average mom's medical bills. If I spent all my money on ivf and couldn't afford adoption, we'd have to find another way to fund it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2114807 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 15:19:47 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2114807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't like crowd funding to start or expand a family through adoption or IVF. If family and friends are offering financial support that's great, but to solicit funds in this manner is making it seem like it's okay to ask other people to be responsible for one's personal decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2114726 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 14:40:28 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2114726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am against it. Having said that, a lot of people here do it. My perspective is that if I can't afford to pay for my adoption on my own, I probably should find a mechanism that I could afford. No one is helping all the IF ladies do IVF... Why should it be any different for me?</p> <p>I'm also a huge fan of keeping adoption expenses low. Agencies are taking advantage of families and then say "oh, just fundraise!" Sorry, but I don't think that I should ask my friends to help me pay for my child.</p> <p>I also should say that I'm not particularly find of adoption as religious mission. I don't believe that it is a great mechanism for saving souls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2114713 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 14:29:25 +0000 Corduroy 2114713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a problem with it. If I saw a friend or family member post it on facebook or something it wouldn't bother me. I may or may not contribute depending on my relationship with the family and the situation. I could definitely see myself spending baby shower gift money on adoption fees for the family instead.</p> <p>My cousin's parents set up a crowd funding site to buy my cousin a horse. This was just months after they inherited plenty of money to buy her a horse if they felt she should really have one. People gave. She has a horse. Nothing shocks me anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption/page/2#post-2114618 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 13:43:22 +0000 travelgirl1 2114618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a problem with it all. While I would never personally crowd fund for myself, I don't judge those who do. They have probably spent a fortune on infertility treatments and I imagine there will be some people who really want to help them financially. Those who are uncomfortable with it don't need to donate.</p> <p>Not the same situation but a colleague of mine could not afford any more IVF treatments after spending his savings on them. A friend gave them the money for one more round and it gave them their twins! Sometimes people need a bit of help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114601 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 13:36:37 +0000 PurplePumps 2114601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: Of course the cynical/practical part of me says the same thing. Just save for it then. Take out a loan, do whatever you need. Tons of people do that and not ask anyone for help, like your cousin. But the (somewhat) compassionate side of me (only somewhat, since I still would not donate), understands that it is still not realistic for some people to just save 40k, or to be able to take out a loan for that amount. But the point was that not having money for the adoption doesn't mean not being able to afford raising a kid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114547 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 13:09:30 +0000 simplyfelicity 2114547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on how it's done. If someone sets it up for you-- then it's a different story. A friend of mine recently adopted her third child and she did a spaghetti dinner fundraiser, t-shirt fundraisers, etc. In general, I think it's a bit tacky to set it up yourself but, if you've got the cajones--why not?<br /> I think crowdfunding has it's place: a high school friend of mine lost her husband in a sudden car accident (she has five children and is a SAHM.) In these circumstances, I believe we should help each other out.<br /> Sometimes, I think it can get a bit out of hand due to social media. For example, there was the story about the man who walked 20 or so miles to work every day and someone set up something for him to get a car. He ended up with a free car from a dealership plus $350,000. As wonderful as that is, it's pretty excessive and there are so many other causes that just don't get recognition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114521 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 12:58:13 +0000 HLK208 2114521@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: @PurplePumps: I don't think you need to have $40k in the bank to have a child but if there's a goal to achieve, save for it. Or take out loans, if you have to. My cousin paid for IVF by taking out a second mortgage on her home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114501 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 12:48:40 +0000 PurplePumps 2114501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: I agree. I really hate when people say, if you can't afford [IVF or adoption], how can you afford a child? How many people even here with a child have 40k in the bank right now to drop like it's nothing. According to that thread on retirement, one would be doing well at age 35 to have even 59k in retirement. People have kids without 40k in the bank and afford said kid just fine. If no one could "afford" a kid and didn't have one until they had that kind of money, I guarantee there'd be a lot less people have kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114414 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 12:07:24 +0000 kiddosc 2114414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there's a big difference between having 40k lying around and having the financial stability to provide for a child in daily life. So, I don't think you can make the argument "if they can't pay for the adoption, how can they afford a child."</p> <p>That being said, I'm not for sure how I feel about this. But DH has an acquaintance who lost their son due to a genetic condition and are now crowdfunding to adopt. He is a pastor, and I imagine it arose from his congregation wanting to help. We donated because we felt for this family that lost their child and having another biologically wasn't a possibility for them. I guess my take is that if you don't feel comfortable donating, then don't? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114322 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:24:30 +0000 BSB 2114322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: @Leialou: I agree. Not for me. </p> <p>@mediagirl: I agree, it is different when someone sets it up for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114308 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:17:28 +0000 HLK208 2114308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: ack. Someone on FB posts every 6 months asking for her tuition to be paid. And they do it every time!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114301 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:15:08 +0000 HLK208 2114301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't do it...I think crowdfunding for yourself seems greedy? Why not just save for it? And if you can't afford to save for it, how can you afford to have a child?</p> <p>ETA: I have no problem when someone else organizes crowdfunding for a person, especially tragic situations </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114290 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:03:41 +0000 jedeve 2114290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't donate to crowd funding because I prefer to give money to organizations I am familiar with. Honestly I think it's a bubble that will pop soon!</p> <p>But I don't care if people do it. Yes, you should be able to support a child you want to raise. But I don't have 40k laying around and don't know many young couples who do. And I know people who criticize those who just want a Caucasian baby even though they are "more expensive." But then you also hear people critique those adopting someone outside their race (for not being able to provide them with a connection to their culture) or not being prepared to deal with unique needs of some in foster care. So I don't know. It's not a situation with a clear right answee, if you ask me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114285 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:58:47 +0000 looch 2114285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would personally never crowdfund an adoption, I am way too private to put all my financial and reproductive business out there. I wish I could separate myself from everyone else and not judge people that do that, but I can't, for some reason. That's why I don't donate money in this manner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114281 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:57:07 +0000 sarac 2114281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Recently someone I know on facebook was crowdfunding for a new entertainment center for his family. I was aghast. Adoption obviously doesn't fall into that kind of bucket, but since it is a choice, I'm not in favor of crowdfunding for it. I don't like that it costs so much that only wealthy people (basically) can afford it, but I really don't agree with crowdfunding for most things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114177 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:04:30 +0000 avivoca 2114177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know how I feel about crowdfunding through the internet for things like this, but I will (and have) wholeheartedly support people who are selling something or doing a food fundraiser where the profits go to their adoption fund. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114168 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:55:47 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2114168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Woolly Mammoth: this opportunity is coming up more and more often through international adoption. I know two families off hand that had to make the difficult decision on a whim. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114162 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 09:49:49 +0000 Woolly Mammoth 2114162@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some relatives did this when they had the sudden opportunity to adopt the biological sibling of their daughter. I thought it made a lotof sense in that case because they needed to raise a lot of money unexpectedly in a short amount of time.</p> <p>Plus, the parents were heavily involved in their church community and with local adoption groups, so I think it was mostly those people they were reaching out to through social media. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114071 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:56:12 +0000 Smurfette 2114071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not a fan. </p> <p>It feels like everyone is doing it these days (not just adoption) and I agree with @blackbird: it is tacky in many situations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114016 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:27:50 +0000 Ginabean3 2114016@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally wouldn't do it but if other people want to....I don't really care. I probably would not donate though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-crowdfunding-adoption#post-2114011 Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:25:02 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2114011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a fan of crowdfunding. Even after going through infertility I can't imagine asking people for money to help me have a baby. </p>