https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Jul 2026 19:20:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam/page/2#post-182069 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 15:06:17 +0000 Sweet T 182069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in the South and everyone I know says Ma'am and Sir. It's definitely a sign of respect in my eyes. DS will be raised to say Yes ma'am/sir and No ma'am/sir. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam/page/2#post-182060 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 14:57:22 +0000 Jumpingjacks 182060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In Canada we don't use Sir or Ma'am. It always throws me a little when I'm in the U.S. and people call me Ma'am, but at the same time I find it really quite friendly when U.S. strangers do it. I would find it very odd for people I knew to call me that though. It just seems too formal for people you know well -- keeping in mind that it isn't a part of the culture I live in and I'm not used to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam/page/2#post-182036 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 14:27:51 +0000 daniellemybelle 182036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in the South, and I definitely want our kids to say "Sir" and "Ma'am"! I absolutely love it when kids say it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam/page/2#post-181840 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 11:21:58 +0000 PawPrints 181840@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eiko2010: "to me, to have to call your Dad Sir just sounds intimidating and cold"</p> <p>Yes, this is exactly how I feel but was having trouble articulating. It sounds intimidating and impersonal, like the kids have been frightened into acting on their best behavior. @mediagirl: Maybe we can include the Midwest along with the South as a region where this is culturally common, but, what I'm saying is that outside of those regions, it comes off as very startling, like something you'd see in a movie about really super-strict parents. Cultural variations across regions are fascinating! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181513 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 08:08:46 +0000 littlebug 181513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was down visiting a friend of mine in GA recently, and she hired a babysitter to watch their son so we could all go out to dinner. The girl (16) came in and every question was "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Ma'am." We all commented on how sweet and respectful she was. I supposed it's because we were in GA and that's just kind of common there, but for us Northerners we were all really impressed by her.</p> <p>I certainly wouldn't expect our children to call us Sir and Ma'am (to me, to have to call your Dad Sir just sounds intimidating and cold), but if were more common around here, I would absolutely insist that they use Sir and Ma'am for other adults. Unfortunately, up here in PA (in Philly for that matter) it would just sound weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181508 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 08:03:03 +0000 Grace 181508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you are living in the south, where yes ma'am/sir is common, there might be an argument for continuing. Otherwise, your kids could be perceived as being rude at school, friend's houses, etc. As for me, in Canada, I don't hear it very often, and especially not from kids. Like a PP said, makes me feel old when people call me ma'am. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181398 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 05:32:33 +0000 mediagirl 181398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I don't think that's true. Most of my family is in Ohio and they say sir and ma'am. It's never sounded weird. They don't sir and ma'am their parents but they do sir and ma'am their teachers, as needed, and workers who help them. It's just about being polite. Otherwise, what do they say? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181394 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 03:54:03 +0000 looch 181394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't do Sir or Ma'am, except in a sarcastic manner, but I do call friends of ours Miss Sandy or Mr. Joe around DS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181055 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 17:26:48 +0000 Honeybee 181055@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not super comfortable with Sir or Ma'am, probably because my parents never required us to use them. We're not teaching our kids to use Sir or Ma'am, either; it's just not a part of our regular vocabulary or manners. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181053 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 17:24:04 +0000 Mrsbells 181053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think kids should say sir/ ma'am to teachers or other people of authority but when talking to their parents or uncle I dont think its necesary "Yes mom" or "yes dad" is fine by me </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181049 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 17:21:23 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 181049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I were raised to say yes/no sir/ma'am to all of our elders, including our parents. We both still do it with our parents. So I think it's respectful, and I will teach my children to do the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181042 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 17:13:51 +0000 MegWag 181042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I remember when my mom moved back to Texas after having living in DC for several years and felt really weird about being called ma'am. She finally realized it was because she'd gotten used to that in DC only REALLY elderly women were called ma'am and it made her feel old :)</p> <p>I'm a Texan living in England so I'm not sure what we'll do. They don't seem to do ma'am and sir here and I can't imagine my husband being big on it anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-181017 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 16:37:09 +0000 PawPrints 181017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm wondering if people who aren't from the south just aren't clicking on this thread, because the poll results seem very skewed to me. My parents both grew up in the south but moved away before raising children. My grandparents were horrified that my sister and I were raised not to say "Yes ma'am/sir," but as my mom always pointed out, we would have been the only kids in our entire school saying that. </p> <p>To offer an outside perspective: when you're in places other than the south, and you hear a kid saying "Yes ma'am/sir," it sounds incredibly strange. Like head-turning, what on earth did he just say, what kind of strict household is that kid growing up in, kind of strange. So my opinion is that this custom should remain in places where it's the cultural norm, and probably be put aside in other places. There are many other ways to teach your kids to be respectful toward their elders. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180923 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:34:49 +0000 Rescuemom10 180923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up doing it, and it was/is a respect thing. Our LO's will do it too. Plus we are a Military family too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180864 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:50:27 +0000 eeh 180864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Fair enough. I guess I'm slightly more tolerant when it comes to saying please in a sarcastic way because they I respond by not doing what the child wants until they can ask in a respectful way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180860 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:48:15 +0000 Navy_Mommy 180860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@eeh: I totally agree that kids can be brats about it, but kids can be brats about anything if they want to be. Saying please or thank you can be rude if it's said in a sarcastic way, but I think MOST parents want their kids to say please and thank you, know what I mean? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180857 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:47:07 +0000 mrsdoily 180857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in the respectful camp as well. We were always raised to answer adults in that way. I don't think I ever used "sir" or "ma'am" in a disrespectful or insincere way. If I was going to be insincere I did the "yeah, whatever" thing. I think this is mostly from the fact that I come from a military family and my father is from the south. I don't really have any compromise ideas for you though :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180852 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:44:59 +0000 eeh 180852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends on the situation..I've never called my parents sir or ma'am but I've used it when referring to other adults, typically older adults. I don't always do it. I guess I play it on a case by case basis.</p> <p>I can definitely see your husband's perspective though. As a teacher I've wanted to scream when being called ma'am by certain kids because they say it in the most condescending way possible while rolling their eyes. Just because they're using the word ma'am doesn't mean they're being respectful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180850 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:40:06 +0000 Navy_Mommy 180850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cyneswith: I know the Marines on our base (which there are actually a lot of even though we're on a Naval Air Station) will get in trouble with their command if they get caught not referring to anyone who is higher ranking (including enlisted) as sir/ma'am.</p> <p>ETA - at work everyone either refers to DH by just his last name or just his rank. I've had people call our house phone and literally say, "hello ma'am, is AM2 {his rank} available?" lol. First time that happened it threw me for a loop... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180821 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:26:05 +0000 cyneswith 180821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navy_Mommy: At least in the Army, you get a heck of a lot of "don't call me sir/ma'am, I WORK for a living!" (officers are sir/ma'am.) It's really just enlisted to enlisted where people seem to mind. It didn't seem to be a big deal in the Air Force either, but I didn't know if other branches were as weird about it. I think Marines are too, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180816 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:24:06 +0000 MsLipGloss 180816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Navy_Mommy: I can't be sure, but @Cyneswith might have been referring to enlisted soldiers/sailors/airmen not wanting to be called sir or ma'am because that is how officers are addressed, as opposed to being addressed as petty officer/private/sergeant/chief, etc. and last name. I understand your thoughts, though, because the term sir or ma'am is also used to address anyone who outranks you, regardless of whether they are enlisted or an officer. Think it also depends a lot on the branch of service, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180806 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:19:57 +0000 Navy_Mommy 180806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cyneswith: My husband is enlisted and he's always referred to as "sir" when not in uniform. When he's in uniform he's referred to as Petty Officer...so, I'm not sure why you would think it isn't respectful to call an enlisted sir/ma'am... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180796 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:14:58 +0000 BananaPancakes 180796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the south, so it's a given. We wouldn't even consider otherwise. And it wouldn't matter if we didn't want our kids to say it; you automatically get corrected by pretty much every adult if you don't say it. </p> <p>I still use it regularly as does most everyone I know (of all ages). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180773 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:52:07 +0000 Alivoo01 180773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hubby and I still use sir and ma'am frequently, and will teach our kids to do the same. We're both from the South and it's common to hear kids use sir and ma'am as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180752 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:36:21 +0000 MamaG 180752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH is pure Southerner and this is the way he was raised. I'm from the midwest, so it doesn't roll off my tongue so easily. We'll try to raise our LO with this level of respect. As a matter of fact, I find myself saying ma'am to her at 9 months. Instead of "no", I often tell her "no, ma'am".</p> <p>She will definitely refer to all non-family women in her life as "Miss First Name" as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180744 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:32:04 +0000 matador84 180744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are from the North, but I was raised in the South and it wasn't ever a big deal to them. But, when I moved to a very traditional and Southern part of West Texas, it is definitely seen as disrespectful if you don't ma'am/sir your elders or really just people in general. IMO, it sure can't hurt to raise your children to be the ma'am/sir type. I even teach in a school with a high Hispanic population and frequently the kids say, "Si, mon!" (Spanish slang for Yes Ma'am). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180720 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:16:30 +0000 LuLu Mom 180720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess around here it's not very common, however we were taught to say "yes mom" or "no dad" out of respect. We didn't do sir/ma'am but we were always taught to be very respectful, "yeahs" were not allowed, not will they be allowed in my house! I correct my niece all the time, she is 5 and REALLY sassy right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180698 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:06:15 +0000 mediagirl 180698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Living in the south now, I hear ma'am a lot more. I appreciate sir, as well. I think it's important for kids to use these terms no matter how old fashioned they may seem. </p> <p>@artbee: @MsLipGloss: We had to call our parents friends Mr. and Mrs. Last Name. There was no calling them Mr. First Name or Mrs. First name. That was another respect thing that we will probably continue. I still call my parents friends from when I was younger Mr and Mrs. I can't call them by their first names, it would be too awkward!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180692 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 12:59:42 +0000 heffalump 180692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: My friend has her daughter call me Miss Artbee. That's also weird to me. But of course I don't say anything, I know people have different views on this stuff and I don't want to teach her daughter to do something that isn't respectful in her mother's eyes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-sirmaam#post-180691 Wed, 06 Jun 2012 12:57:55 +0000 Cole 180691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up aware of it but not really encouraged or required to use it unless it was a more formal situation (meeting someone new, getting in trouble etc.) We also called people Mr./Ms. Last name unless we were invited to do otherwise in which case it was Mr./Ms. First name. (it was really awkward with my in-laws when we reached a point where it was silly to be calling them that since I knew them from the time I was in middle school...)</p> <p>I remember when my dad was coaching baseball and had a few kids with attitudes he required yes sir/no sir from them and 15 years later they still use it with him and have a lot of respect for him. In that case I think it was slightly a power play but I would much rather there be a power play over that then over something of graver importance. </p>