https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 29 Jun 2026 12:47:43 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554982 Mon, 23 May 2016 19:35:23 +0000 Astro Bee 2554982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: Thank you so much for saying this, that it doesn't have to be about making a "point." In the end, we are all trying to raise our children to the best of our ability, to teach them right from wrong, and how to respect themselves. When we teach our children that it is polite to share with others, and not to hit others, we are making a point. A point is not negative, but I've seen it coloured as such in these boards. </p> <p>I didn't vote, but my feelings on the matter range across the bottom three options. Would I "force" my hypothetical daughter to go topless at age 8 (assuming she is not an early bloomer) to go topless at the community pool, because I take issue with what our society dictates, in order to "prove a point?" No, of course not! I don't know what age I would bow to societal pressure and ensure she wore traditional female swimming gear, but I guess it would be around the time of her peers - no one likes being "different", although I'd phrase it differently. If she wanted to run through the neighbour's sprinkler at that age or jump into a private lake, maybe I'd be okay with it? I'm honestly not sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554955 Mon, 23 May 2016 19:14:18 +0000 Astro Bee 2554955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is all theoretical for me, as I only have a son, but I would never think that I use him to benefit myself or further my own self interests. I would think that if I had, or someday have, a girl, I would feel the same. I'm protective of him, and so I don't post or allow anyone else to post photos of him naked or shirtless on social media. In fact, I limit social media, because you never know who is looking at those photos. </p> <p>I grew up Catholic with a lot of the teachings that go along with it. The idea that the body is shameful and should be covered up so that it doesn't entice bad people to do or think bad things reminds me of the mentality that women who dress a certain way deserve what comes to them. Of course, there are terrible people, but I don't think that shaming our daughters for doing what comes natural is the way to go about preventing it. What comes natural here being different for each child and family. </p> <p>I don't think there should be a no topless rule in this situation, as it should be left to the family to decide what their comfort level is, under the law. I don't have any problem with a spontaneous situation where your young child strips of their shirt to run through a sprinkler or a splash pad, or a more formal setting at a public pool. Again, remember, women can legally go topless in public where I live. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554912 Mon, 23 May 2016 17:45:52 +0000 JerricaBenton 2554912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: right, and in my original answer I said that in my opinion 4 - 5 was the point is think it would inappropriate. And I do think if a girl is school age and someone's making an argument that they should be able to be topless in public, like at a pool or swim team, they are trying to make a point. I'm definitely not talking about splashing around in a sprinkler in your neighborhood, although for my own child, I still feel that's inappropriate past the baby stage. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554904 Mon, 23 May 2016 17:20:47 +0000 Maysprout 2554904@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: I've seen a couple people make it sound like parents are trying to make some big point with their daughters. But usually it's bc someone brought out a sprinkler or there's a great mud puddle to jump in and she doesn't want to run home to get changed and I don't really want to either. There's no point being made, just being practical. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554899 Mon, 23 May 2016 17:00:43 +0000 WinterBee 2554899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have a daughter yet, but I would always have her covered up in public. I don't find it 'offensive' if people don't, but for my own kids I always would. I have a lot of family and friends in the police force and immediately think of predators that could be in those public places.<br /> At home however, totally free game! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554896 Mon, 23 May 2016 16:51:41 +0000 JerricaBenton 2554896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: that's definitely true and I suppose I wouldn't want someone else telling her she has to cover up her 'breasts' when she doesn't have any, but for our family that's a rule I would go by because there's no way my daughter will be in a school with her top off but my theoretical son might. If she's on a swim team, even at 5, she'll wear a bathing suit where her chest is covered even while the boys aren't. I guess it just doesn't bother me that much to follow societal rules. If someone else lets their young girl be topless in public it doesn't matter to me and i dont necessarily think it's wrong but it's not a point I would prove with my child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554863 Mon, 23 May 2016 15:46:01 +0000 youboots 2554863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>School age I think. 5 is what popped in my head right now. Usually T is in a rash guard so it's a non issue. I know DH is uncomfortable about bikinis on DD at this age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554862 Mon, 23 May 2016 15:44:43 +0000 Astro Bee 2554862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: My thought on this is that little boys the same age should also know that they are required to wear shirts at school, but wouldn't need to at a wading pool or splash pad.<br /> It's another example of a double standard, which women have worked hard to demolish. There is no difference in a girl's chest and a boy's chest at that age, so why do we treat them differently?</p> <p>@looch: Of course, if the rule is posted it should be followed, however that doesn't preclude people from trying to have the rule changed if it's unjust. In my mind, it should be, given the provincial law on the matter. </p> <p>@lamariniere: On the whole, North America is much more prudish than Europe. While I have gone topless on the beach in Europe, I wouldn't at home, even though it's allowed, because of those societal norms mentioned above. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554860 Mon, 23 May 2016 15:41:19 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 2554860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I lifeguarded as a teenager we had to deal with this, a mom wanted her 7ish yo daughter to run around in just bikini bottoms at a private, community pool. We went to talk to the mom, and she was super pissed and asked if 7yo boys with long hair should cover up since they don't have breasts either. Since it was a private pool she eventually agreed. At the time I felt that the mom was using her kid to make a point, which stinks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554823 Mon, 23 May 2016 14:55:04 +0000 Torchwood 2554823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean, in theory I'm all feminist and "free the nipple" and that stuff. But I don't think using my kid to make a point is the way to go on that, and I'm too shy to want to go topless even where it's allowed, so it's very theoretical. In reality, probably not after 4 or 5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554734 Mon, 23 May 2016 13:41:36 +0000 chopsuey 2554734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I say 3/4. My daughter just turned 5 and she would refuse to be topless in public. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554732 Mon, 23 May 2016 13:37:12 +0000 JerricaBenton 2554732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say 4-5 because that's school age and by then they should know they have to be wearing a shirt at school so the same rule applies to being out in public. I don't let my daughter out of the house with no shirt on ever, though so it's not a question for me. She could be however she wants in the house but not outside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554692 Mon, 23 May 2016 13:05:28 +0000 lamariniere 2554692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: agree with the rash guard sentiment! I'm totally fine with naked kids, but I actually don't practice what I preach because I always have my kids (and myself!) covered for sun protection! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554679 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:57:23 +0000 looch 2554679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: That's an excellent point! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554675 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:54:13 +0000 Maysprout 2554675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: yeah I get the social norms. Like my girls have always worn bathing suits for girls even though swim trunks would be just as practical at their age.<br /> But when you're talking about predators I think that's a very different beast. If I suspected someone of taking photos or knew there was a convicted predator nearby id be warning my sons and be just as much on guard around them Ive heard just as many terrible news stories about boys as girls, maybe even more since I do think parents are slightly more protective of girls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554671 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:51:28 +0000 Coffee-lover 2554671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it should be equal for both sexes. Either everyone should be able to run around with no shirts, or everyone has to wear a shirt regardless of age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554669 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:50:40 +0000 Trailmix 2554669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my daughter does not feel comfortable with it anymore. As long as she's fine with it, I'm fine with it. But I also love to be naked and my kids and I are usually in various stages of undress whenever we are home :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554665 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:47:41 +0000 snowjewelz 2554665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally and practically speaking I'll probably never let DD be shirtless. It's not that hot around here for that much of the year, and I'd prefer her to be in some top for sun/bug protection. </p> <p>It is "messed up" that men, from birth to adulthood, can be shirtless anytime b/c their breasts don't develop. But then it's weird for even young girls to be topless b/c of knowing that they will develop?? Unfortunately I'd probably always keep a top on DD (maybe except if we're at someone's house, we don't have clothes and they're fine with it) due to how our society is shaped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554664 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:47:35 +0000 LulaBee 2554664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @kes18: - anyone who wants to go topless should go topless.</p> <p>I also don't think that it's cool to sexualize young kids, period- whether that's in a triangle bikini or shaming young girls and telling them to cover up. If someone is thinking about kids in a sexual manner, those people are the inappropriate ones, not the kids. As for a public pool/beach- my kids will be in rash guards for sun protection. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554652 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:41:14 +0000 looch 2554652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: It's socially acceptable norms, that's all. I wouldn't let my son go bottomless, but he's not really topless in the same way a girl is in the mind of a predator (at least that is my thinking, maybe they should be treated the same). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554649 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:36:29 +0000 Maysprout 2554649@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dd is about to turn 5 and it wouldn't really occur to me that she needs to keep a shirt on if the kids start playing in a sprinkler or something like that. She would run around stark naked at all times still if I allowed it - def zero body self consciousness on her part. Part of it is probably my younger daughter potty training so she's half the time just running around the house in underoos. @looch: I don't really get how sketchball staking photos of kids would only apply to girls though, if that's something you have a legitimate concern about I'd absolutely keep my son covered up as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554644 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:31:06 +0000 psw27 2554644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't know! My mom is a very modest person, and I'm a very modest person, so I think I would tend to be the type to cover up my little one on the earlier side of things. I wouldn't care if anyone else's kid was topless though, as long as the parents and child are comfortable. I can't imagine a child over 5 or 6 being topless though - like once they are school age? I really have no idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554640 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:25:06 +0000 swurlygurl 2554640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it also kind of depends on the child's 'awareness' at her current age. My oldest is 3, so I still don't have a good feel for the 'right' age, but one of the girls at daycare (her mom is the daycare provider, so it's her house) will very hesitantly come around me if she's shirtless, and she just turned 5. We've known this family since before either of us had kids, and it's not a like a 'shame' thing imposed on her by her mom - the mom is even baffled that she's even picked up on it already! So in this case, I think that this 5 year old should be covered in public.<br /> Now, if a young girl just never becomes self-aware? Surely there's a point where she starts to notice differences, and realizes when things are/aren't appropriate for public. Maybe that would be a good time to start imposing clothing restrictions?</p> <p>Now personally, I'm never okay with girls being shirtless in public, but I realize that I'm a bit more conservative that way than others. I didn't even like my baby girls being shirtless in public, but I had no feelings about my nephews being shirtless in public.</p> <p>Tough questions! I hate that they even have to be asked, but it's important to protect our daughters from predatory eyes :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554635 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:22:23 +0000 lamariniere 2554635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My response is colored by the fact that I live in Europe. When we go to the splash pad, or even the public pool, older prepubescent girls sometimes go topless and it's just not a big deal. I would be ok with my daughter being topless here because it's the norm. If we were in North America, I would definitely put a top on her by age 4, since I know people get weirded out by it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554630 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:11:41 +0000 looch 2554630@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Astro Bee: I think if the rule is posted, then you need to follow it. </p> <p>I don't think it's as much a response to offensiveness, but people acting inappropriately, like taking pictures of other people's children. Which would upset me more, being asked to cover my kid up or see my kid's photo on some sleazy child pornography website? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554629 Mon, 23 May 2016 12:08:55 +0000 runnerd 2554629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Once a girl is old enough to be playing solo outside of a toddler area, I would want her to have a top on (if it was my child that would definitely be my cut-off)</p> <p>ETA: I don't like to be topless and feel odd even in my own house; I never even hang out in bra/underwear besides the time it takes me to pick an outfit out - SO that probably shapes my view of it :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554622 Mon, 23 May 2016 11:58:16 +0000 kes18 2554622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I think all women should legally be allowed to go topless if they desire. So I don't really think it is inappropriate. Otherwise, men should also be banned from going topless so that everyone is banned. I'm guessing most people would think once they are school-aged they should wear tops. I would probably follow that at about age 5 just because other people are assholes. Although to be honest, I have never taken my DD out naked or topless in public (just in the backyard) and don't have a reason to. But it wouldn't bother me at all if someone else wanted to. Some bikinis on kids really weird me out... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554606 Mon, 23 May 2016 11:36:30 +0000 travellingbee 2554606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyLayneAZ: ooo I've been there! @Truth Bombs: slide rock!</p> <p>I mean, personally, before puberty I don't see how it could be offensive. But because of our over sexualized society Id cover my own daughter (if I had one) over the age of five. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554602 Mon, 23 May 2016 11:27:48 +0000 Truth Bombs 2554602@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyLayneAZ: Yes! It was awesome! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-feel-about-young-girls-and-babies-going-topless#post-2554593 Mon, 23 May 2016 11:14:25 +0000 Astro Bee 2554593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I'm not sure if the policy was posted in the facility, but it's clear that it was policy that girls over 4 wear "proper" bathing attire. </p> <p>I have a bit of an issue with this. I think 4 is far too young to arbitrarily say that they must cover up. If you don't have to wear a shirt outside the facility, why does the city have a policy that you should have to wear one inside? Especially in someone who haven't developed secondary sexual characteristics yet. Why sexualize someone that young? @Truth Bombs: 100% agree here. I prefer rash guards and bottoms on boys and girls alike (for sun protection), but if it's at an indoor facility, who cares? I hate the look of bikinis on kids. </p>