https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 01:26:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions/page/2#post-2395090 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 14:21:36 +0000 BSB 2395090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Exciting! I love my CRV EX-L. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2395020 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 12:15:17 +0000 travellingbee 2395020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: yes I found this information a while back (I think from my therapist) and it helped me understand myself (a total satisfisers) and DH so much better. I am more understanding now and we have more productive conversations now. Glad you found it interesting too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394980 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 11:02:56 +0000 gingerbebe 2394980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are similar but we also HATE<br /> car shopping. Like the whole process. Which adds to the stress bc we just drive our cars until they are dead. So I picked a van I wanted (we bought a certified used Sienna with all the bells and whistles), saw that it was a competitive price, and showed DH that this is what I wanted. We were in and out in under two hours. With his fuel efficient commuter he wanted a plug-in Prius so he could get the HOV lane sticker but couldn't commit to buying a newer tech so we decided to lease it and get the state cash rebate (same whether you buy or lease) and then if he still wanted it we could buy it cash at the end of the lease. He loves it and we have one year left on the lease and he will buy it I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394926 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 09:24:35 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2394926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: yay! Enjoy the new van! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394905 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 08:34:15 +0000 Canoli 2394905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband works in finance so all large purchases are very thought out. I usually have to give him time to do his own extensive research and give him time to come to terms with spending the money. This used to frustrate me because I am very much an impulse spender but I have had to realize that his conservativeness and responsibility with money is the reason we have a nice house and nice things because he is much smarter than I with money.</p> <p>To answer your particular question, it would really frustrate me and I would probably narrow down your interests and say on "Saturday I'm going to look at xyz and I would like your input." Perhaps that would work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394900 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 08:21:55 +0000 Corduroy 2394900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: Thanks for the suggestion on the maximisers: “The maximizer is kicking himself because he can’t examine every option and at some point had to just pick something,” Dr. Schwartz says. “Maximizers make good decisions and end up feeling bad about them. Satisficers make good decisions and end up feeling good.”</p> <p>My husband is always saying he just wants to feel good about the decisions. I think I'm a maximizer too, hence the long process but as the mom of 2 I don't have time for such a process anymore.</p> <p>I wish I had known more of this when we got engaged. It was such a stressful time. We had been dating 9 years, had a one year timeline, and as it approached he kept telling me he hadn't had time to think about whether he wanted to marry me. He even asked me how things would be if we broke up. Now he says it's the best decision he ever made. </p> <p>I'm glad the article I read said that maximizers tendencies generally decrease with age.</p> <p><a href="http://www.wsj.com/articles/how-you-make-decisions-says-a-lot-about-how-happy-you-are-1412614997" rel="nofollow">http://www.wsj.com/articles/how-you-make-decisions-says-a-lot-about-how-happy-you-are-1412614997</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394882 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 06:20:19 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2394882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: exciting. That's what we got too </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394875 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 03:56:34 +0000 travellingbee 2394875@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh glad to see you got a van! My DH is the same way. If you get a chance look up satisfisers and maximisers. Personality types. I joke that all big decisions in our house are made because I cry. Eventually I get so frustrated that I break down crying, and DH relents. That's how we got engaged, bought a house, a car and had a baby. He's always glad we went for it but has the hardest time pulling the trigger. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394870 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 02:44:34 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2394870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I just read the update. Congrats! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394868 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 02:43:16 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2394868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: No advice, but my husband is the same way. He's so ridiculously slow at making any purchases. To get the ball rolling, I would have to take initiative -and he would be thankful for the it. But it is not something I am used to and it's tiring. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394864 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:44:01 +0000 Corduroy 2394864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsF: Odyssey EX-L. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394862 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:40:25 +0000 MrsF 2394862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Yes! Congrats! I just read through this whole thread so I'm glad to see a conclusion :happy:</p> <p>I love my van. Which one did you get? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394861 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:27:52 +0000 mrbee 2394861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Congratulations!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2394858 Sun, 20 Dec 2015 01:11:17 +0000 Corduroy 2394858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got a van tonight! I took over the process, got several competitive bids and ended up with a good deal. We're both super happy to be done with the process and have the van. I think I'll be the one buying the second vehicle in a few months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389303 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:47:16 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2389303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you just buy a car for yourself on your own? Two at once would overwhelm me too, but it sounds like you need them and can afford them. Maybe if you have a nice new car that isn't breaking down, he'll get on board and want to get himself one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389293 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:41:18 +0000 Corduroy 2389293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: On electronics yes. I don't know on the car. I negotiated the deal on the last (only) one. So outlook is not good there.</p> <p>I think I just need to figure out exactly what I'm going to buy, show it to him, say I'm doing it in X days and be done. I have it on the calendar for the 21st. Thanks for all the input. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389287 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:39:22 +0000 sunny 2389287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think if you know what car you want, go and get it. You can tell your DH that you'll be heading to the dealership and he can either come with you or stay home.</p> <p>If/when his car breaks down, he can deal with his own car! Or you can again tell him that you're heading to the dealership and he can either choose to come along or stay home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389286 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:38:41 +0000 Anagram 2389286@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: My husband is the same way. He absolutely agonized about any big purchases and he will also literally research and hem and haw and test drive for months and months. It's also not about money, he has the money, he just wants to be 100% sure on anything before he spends it.</p> <p>But the flip side of that coin is that he *does* generally get the best deals on things and he is really, really good at saving and managing money. </p> <p>Is your husband the same way, and he will eventually deliver and find an amazing deal? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389275 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:31:44 +0000 yoursilverlining 2389275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think buying a car on your own is wrong at all. I've always bought my own cars, by myself. And they are only in my name. It's my car so it's my decision. (after discussing finances, etc.)</p> <p>If I were you, I'd let him do him and just buy YOUR car. If he's happy to be a turtle and drive his car into the ground, let him. Your time is worth money too and (not to sound mean) he's wasted enough of both of your times with all that test driving, researching, etc. and not buying. I'd figure out what you want and just get it done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389274 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:31:24 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2389274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since you have the money and it's effecting work I think you should just go buy it! Tell him that it's time and he's welcome to come with you if he wants to, but you're doing it. It's not like you'll be springing a huge purchase on him, which I wouldn't suggest anyone doing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389272 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:29:54 +0000 snowjewelz 2389272@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Dude then this is for sure the ultimatum! Like, you can get fired for this! (Ok you won't, but if he doesn't make a move, then yeah mabybe!!)</p> <p>ETA: Would he totally blow up at you and cause a huge fight if you really went and got the cars yourself? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389266 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:27:35 +0000 BSB 2389266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: OMG! That is embarrasing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389264 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:27:07 +0000 Corduroy 2389264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: It is totally on my boss's nerve. He sent me links to bicycles this morning. So embarrassing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389260 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:25:22 +0000 snowjewelz 2389260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you use work as the ultimatum? That you're running out of time to take off, or it's getting on your boss nerves? I would be okay with either wasting PTO on this or just feel bad that I'm using company time for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389248 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:19:14 +0000 blackbird 2389248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eh, I bought my own car. If your DH is on board with you buying it, and you can make a decision, you might as well do it since it's a need. Maybe phrase it as, "I'm planning to buy X. Thoughts?" I know my husband didn't care what I drove, so I mostly left him out of the decision, lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389239 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:15:15 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2389239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know that I have a ton to offer because when we decide to do something like by a car, we go do it. We went out shopping for our new SUV and we were done about 4 hours later. It took us less than a day to buy our car before that. </p> <p> I guess my one suggestion would be to go and get all of the information (pricing, features, mileage, etc.) on 2–3 cars that you are interested in and then try to make him pick one of those few options. Maybe he is just overwhelmed with the sheer number of possibilities and needs to have a smaller group to choose amongst. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389235 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:12:24 +0000 runnerd 2389235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: wow, you poor thing. I just have no advice for you if you have gone as far as to test drive 5-7 times each!!!</p> <p>The only thing I can think is to just get real - "I'm not going to wait until we have to pick one out of desperation when our car breaks down. There is no such thing as a perfect decision, and we have more than vetted our options. These our the final two I am pleased with for my vehicle - do you have a preference?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389232 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:10:48 +0000 kiddosc 2389232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you looked at sites like truecar.com? It shows you what people have paid in your area for the car you'd like to purchase, so you can see whether or not you're getting a good deal. At this point, I would pick the car, find out the price, look it up and show him it's a good price and tell him we're going on Saturday. </p> <p>Since you have the money to pay for a new car, you're basically throwing money away paying for repairs on the old ones. That would be enough of a motivator for my DH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389231 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:10:40 +0000 BSB 2389231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Oh, nice. Wonder what he is waiting for... unless he is waiting for a huge car bill. A battery might not be big enough for him to warrant a new car. </p> <p>Oh, maybe call the dealership and see if there are any sales coming up. I never knew this but my local Toyota dealer said they have a 20% sale on prius on black friday. I was never in the market for a prius but I was surprised to learn about their sales on that day. Maybe they'll have a sale like that on Christmas or New Years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-dh-on-board-with-big-purchase-decisions#post-2389230 Tue, 15 Dec 2015 12:10:24 +0000 Corduroy 2389230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Every date we've had in the last 8 months has included a test drive. </p>