https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 25 Jun 2026 15:52:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2450947 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 11:41:55 +0000 Astro Bee 2450947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my MIL, and a tiny, tiny bit my FIL. Things were fine until I had LO, and now everything bothers me! Although, to be fair, a lot of things are awful, but they didn't bother me much before I was responsible for someone else's health and welfare. They live 2 hours away, so space is key. The rest I just suck it up for DH's sake, and vent to my parents and HB! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2450922 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 11:32:45 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2450922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>this is my SIL for sure. following! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2450876 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 11:06:26 +0000 autumnleaves 2450876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to distance myself/occupy my time with other things. It can be hard at work but then I feel like I have so much to do at work I can easily stay busy in my cube away from others when they are driving me nuts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2450505 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 07:28:01 +0000 blackbird 2450505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Space. Vast open fields of it </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2450455 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 06:15:22 +0000 rachiecakes 2450455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I remind myself that it's just me, it's just the way I'm seeing it.<br /> One of my very best friends, over the past 5 years, she eloped, she had more two kids. She bought a gigantic house. And we've drifted a bit. I basically view her life on Facebook. She's very vocal on Facebook but rarely calls me. :( and it's turned into a BEC situation. But I have to remind myself it's not about me. She has her hands full, it's unfortunate our friendship has taken a backseat but it's not about me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2450421 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 03:45:09 +0000 lamariniere 2450421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: @erinpye: I was in a situation with a friend mistreating me. For a long time (several years), I was struggling to understand what the problem was and did a lot of introspection to figure out if it was me or her. I finally decided it was her and I've taken major steps to distance her from my life. For me, it was the right thing to do and I feel like a weight has been lifted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449581 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:57:51 +0000 Ajsmommy 2449581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Some distance and focus on the good! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449553 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:43:50 +0000 LCTBQE 2449553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: much more succinct--thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449542 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:39:01 +0000 BSB 2449542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle with this, too. Following. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449533 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:35:55 +0000 erinpye 2449533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: I think that's a good point that sometimes it's also simply because someone is mistreating you, and at that point distance is a good answer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449518 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:29:06 +0000 LCTBQE 2449518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think first you have to figure out if it's them, or you, who is the root of your problem. My very dear friend was hugely pregnant this fall when I was going through two successive m/c's, and being around her listening to her complain about her swollen feet and being hot and "just you wait, you'll see when you're pregnant" made me want to throttle her. Very BEC situation, even though she has been wonderful to me for many years. We're better now; I really think the issue was with me and that she was being pretty innocuous.<br /> But in a situation where the other person is mistreating you, I think cutting them out of your life (even if just for a little while) is the best way to avoid feeling like you have to swallow it, or constantly getting sucked into feeling annoyed. Sometimes I manage to summon up the attitude that the drama is beneath me, and it works for a while :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449488 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:05:10 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2449488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my FIL for me...he drives. me. insane. I very much try to look at the very few positives. He does love being a grandfather, and just wants all of LO's attention, so I try to look at some things that way. And then he goes and does or says something super offensive to my MIL about how she's not a good grandmother (when she's an amazing grandmother) and I want to rage at him.</p> <p>I wish I had better advice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449487 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 15:04:51 +0000 erinpye 2449487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn't the most popular answer, but usually, I take a hard look at myself, and try to honestly answer if it's an issue *I* am having (jealousy, competition, unmet, yet uncommunicated expectations, other yucky feelings). If so, I try and get over it and not take it out on the friend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449402 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:29:22 +0000 Adira 2449402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When it's a friend like that, I just try to remind myself of all the good times we had together and all the times she WAS a good friend. But in general, it's time and new situations that help. I have a really good friend that, for whatever reason, we had a bit of a falling out. Because of our history and past friendship though, I really didn't want her to be a BEC to me and I wanted to get past it, so I'd just try to spend time with her and do things together and the more time we spent together where it WAS good, the easier it got to want to actually spend time together, and now we're back to being pretty close friends again! But it definitely takes time. Just try to remember all the good things and go into it with an open mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449391 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:26:15 +0000 Applesandbananas 2449391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I put as much distance as possible and engage as little as possible. Easier said than done, but it's the only thing that helps, even a little. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449386 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:25:42 +0000 JennyPenny 2449386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need help with this too towards my friend's boyfriend. I want to like him for the sake of the friendship but he's sooo BEC right now. So far the only thing that seems to help is lots of wine whenever I have to interact with him....not exactly helpful at work :-/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449380 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:24:07 +0000 knittylady 2449380@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha I saw the acronym on another thread and had no idea what it meant. But seriously probably best meme of all time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449371 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:21:25 +0000 meganmp 2449371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Subscribing! I totally need an answer to this too. Everything a friend of mine is doing is causing a major eye roll to me right now, and it's killing me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449359 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:16:55 +0000 Torchwood 2449359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know, but hopefully somebody here does. I'm so there with my MIL since LO was born. Everything she does pisses me off (though in my defense, she does a lot of things that piss DH off too, and he's not feeling the way I am). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-get-over-a-bec-situation#post-2449352 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 14:11:23 +0000 nana87 2449352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, we talk about BEC situations a lot on hb (see pic for reference!)....But how do you get over it when someone you actually care about has turned into a bitch eating crackers to you?</p> <p>LOL</p> <p>One of my closest friends has been a crappy friend to me in the last few months, but she's also a professional colleague, and she's presenting her work at a meeting and I have to go to be supportive...but I really don't want to, haha.</p> <p>So, how do you snap yourself out of it?</p> <p>[attach=1484/16/o21epr.337x600.image.png] </p>