Hellobee Boards Topic: How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?

Hellobee Boards Topic: How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 03:31:22 +0000 littlejoy on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2718612 Thu, 30 Mar 2017 19:58:03 +0000 littlejoy 2718612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't let it phase me ... we are pretty consistent about setting expectations and explaining the natural consequence. If she talks back, I listen - if her argument makes sense or is a question, I kindly guide her through it ... if she's being rude with her response, we'll ask her to try again, because we speak kindly in our family. So far, it helps. I know she has little to no impulse control, so I do everything I can to not be reactive (or she'll feed off of it, and talk back more). JoyfulKiwi on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2718606 Thu, 30 Mar 2017 19:37:12 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2718606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mommy Finger: it took a LOT of practice to find a neutral tone! :silly: Mommy Finger on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2718244 Thu, 30 Mar 2017 09:39:46 +0000 Mommy Finger 2718244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @JoyfulKiwi: I like that too! I usually do say something like that but my tone isn't as nice and pleasant as you describe so I should change that and see if I get a different response. :) See, it's not what you say but how you say it. LOL Mrs. Champagne on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2718035 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 18:29:22 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2718035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @JoyfulKiwi: oh love that. Thanks. JoyfulKiwi on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2718031 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 18:26:29 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2718031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mommy Finger: My son did this sometimes and I teach preschool and hear a lot of sassy "backtalk". It used to take me by surprise & ruffle my feathers, but I've fallen into the habit of staying neutral and sort of going around the issue. So if a kid said "YOU clean up your toys", I'd say "Hmm, I have no toys here, but I can still see yours over there. You should tidy those up; let me know if you need anything" and then just go about my business. After a few times of me responding to the words they're saying instead of their tone, they usually give up. Mrs. Champagne on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2718018 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 18:06:04 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2718018@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My son just turned 3... and sometimes he is so sassy. So a lot of times we tell him to "try again" or I just say I can't answer him when he talks like that. So if he yells at me that he needs a snack NOW I just tell him to try asking again. Then he busts out the most polite sentence and I wonder why he didn't do it the first time. Haha. MrsSRS on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717870 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 13:21:29 +0000 MrsSRS 2717870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We do the same as @tlynne or, depending on the child, quietly and seriously inform them that they may have one try to use their words again in a respectful way or they lose a privilege. Mommy Finger on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717832 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:37:55 +0000 Mommy Finger 2717832@https://boards.hellobee.com/ These are all good suggestions. Lately counting down from 5 works better than counting up to 3. Time outs have never worked for him so we stopped doing those. However, time outs for his things or taking away tv have been more effective. And this is normally what we threaten and follow through on. He gets one show a night while I rush to get dinner on the table after coming home from work and usually we have him pause halfway to come to dinner. This is not always pleasing to him so we'll get the occasional "no YOU wash your hands". It's just so frustrating as I never had a good response. Thanks for your thoughts! caterw on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717827 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:30:13 +0000 caterw 2717827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have been putting my daughter (3.5) in bed every time she throws a screaming/ whining and crying fit or talks back. I tried time out but she kept acting out for more attention. Now she has to sit alone on her bed until she can be nice. If she gets a book or a toy I take it and put it on top of my desk for the rest of the day. It has been working fabulously- she doesn't get positive or negative attention plus she is away from me so I don't lose my temper and yell at her (which escalates the issue) looch on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717822 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:14:13 +0000 looch 2717822@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have started saying to my son that he is going to be judged for his worst behavior, not the good things he does and it seems to be working. cascademom on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717814 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:00:37 +0000 cascademom 2717814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @winniebee: Wow, that sounds a lot like what we've been hearing lately from our preschooler from the food is bad, you're not listening to me, full body tantrums, etc. winniebee on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717810 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:55:11 +0000 winniebee 2717810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @cascademom: I think the "tear" may have been sickness induced because he seriously acted possessed for a week. We went out for pizza and he said the place was disgusting and smelled bad. Then said the pizza looked like throw up. The list goes on and on for that weekend! Strike system FTW! tlynne on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717808 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:53:15 +0000 tlynne 2717808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Meanie mom here: I'd have gotten down on his level, used my low tone voice and calmly said that whatever toys he didn't want to clean up would be taken away until he was polite enough to earn them back. We don't have many rules in my house, but talking back that way (beyond, perhaps, a child repeating something they don't understand), is completely unacceptable to me. I also would have taken the time to explain how I felt about his tone/words. I feel if a child is old enough to experiment with this type of disrespect, then a warning isn't enough (my kids don't respond well to warnings anyway). I've had to do this before, once or twice per child. And I followed through, usually giving back toys the next day. In one case, I gave them back 1-2 at a time throughout the day, each time encouraging respectful communication. And my children - including my foster children - learn quickly to listen the first time and to figure out our expectations. While no one is perfect, my children usually DO learn to listen the first time (at least at home). It's hard for kids at this age sometimes, because they are not only testing limits, they are learning that talking with friends vs talking with parents is a different form of communication. cascademom on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717805 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:52:14 +0000 cascademom 2717805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @winniebee: I feel like we're on that same tear right now. Counting to 3 and timeouts are effective for us. It must be some developmental leap ahead of his 5th birthday because he would react, but nowhere near as bad as he has been lately. LBee on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717797 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:33:40 +0000 LBee 2717797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DS is younger (2.5), but we handle it the same was as @ShootingStar. The only difference is I qualify it with saying that we don't speak that way to grown-ups. The reason behind this is he's very black and white with things and saying it wasn't a nice way to talk would result in him telling me when I said "clean up your toys" that I wasn't talking nice. He's a con artist so I have to be one step ahead. winniebee on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717791 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:28:38 +0000 winniebee 2717791@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Our oldest is almost 5. We've instituted a "strike system" - basically, 3 strikes and he loses bed time privileges (books and sometimes a video clip). It seems rather effective. We started it a few weeks ago when he was on a tear out of the blue. He's only gotten to 3 strikes one time and it was the first day LOL. Basically he can get a strike for intentionally breaking a rule, talking back, or not following instructions (after we ask him a few times...because what 5 year old listens on the first try?) Shantuck on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717786 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 11:18:42 +0000 Shantuck 2717786@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm in the same boat with my 4.5 year old (he told me to "shut it" last night when I scolded him for throwing a toy at his infant sister! Wtf?!?). I threatened to take away iPad privileges the next day, which just brought on a big dramatic episode while I was trying to get his sister to bed (my husband picked a great time to be gone on a work trip!). I'm not sure I'm handling things correctly and I didn't follow through on my threat because he apologized for being rude and I chalked it up to being tired. I'm worried that my actions were permissive of that behavior, though. ShootingStar on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717770 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:47:24 +0000 ShootingStar 2717770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We usually say something like, "That's not a nice way to talk to me, if it continues you'll have to have a time out." Not sure if that's the best way, but that's what we've come up with. Mommy Finger on "How do you handle it when you LO talks back to you?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/how-do-you-handle-it-when-you-lo-talks-back-to-you#post-2717768 Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:44:21 +0000 Mommy Finger 2717768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ DS1 is almost 4.5 and lately he's started to talk back when we ask him to do something he doesn't want to do. Think "no YOU need to clean up your toys". Any advice on how to handle this?